TTC after ectopic pregnancy

[Mumlili9]

Hello I'm hoping to chat with other ladies ttc after ectopic pregnancy with tubal removal. I recently had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube. I don't know anyone who has been through this so I've no one to talk to about this. I would love this tread to become a kind of support group where we can support each other on the scary journey of ttc.

[DoctorBambino]

@hlump1980 I felt exactly the same, a mixture of relief that my body was getting back on track and at the same time it was just another reminder of how shit it is. My periods have definitely been more painful since the ectopic, still mild but I get cramps now. They did find a small bit of endo during my surgery so I worry that maybe its caused by that which makes me spiral into thoughts of never having a baby! Its a roller coaster of emotions ttc anyway let alone when you've had experiences like we have. It's comforting to have a group of people who know what its like!

@littleeggcup you poor thing, I can understand your need for reassurance. I'm sure everything is still OK 🤍 can you do anything nice to relax and take your mind of it?

[littleeggcup]

@DoctorBambino epu are seeing me Tuesday morning for a scan- they were quite cross with me actually and made me cry!

Just getting ready to walk the dog xx

[Chica1990]

@littleeggcup what did they say to you??

[littleeggcup]

She said "you can't expect us to scan you every day even if you have a bad history" I stated that I haven't even once asked for a scan- they had to scan me due to previous ectopic.

I do understand that they need to be firm but I also thought they need to be reassuring and caring too. She said if I'm miscarrying then I'm miscarrying and to just get on with my weekend. Thought it was a bit harsh really. Maybe I'm just being sensitive x

[DoctorBambino]

I imagine hospital staff are under a lot of pressure at the moment so try not to take it to heart. You absolutely did the right thing contacting them. Its great that they are giving you another scan although I'm sure the wait over the weekend will be stressful for you, lots of dog cuddles needed!

[Hlump1980]

@littleeggcup
I am so sorry the EPU were like that. Unfortunately I have had amazing EPU support and also similar as yours It looks likel. I am so sorry for you. You can always have a quiet word with the sister when you are there on Tuesday. Glad you have the dog.
@DoctorBambino
Thank you so much . You are very right about this group x

[littleeggcup]

I've booked a private scan this afternoon as spotting has turned to bleeding and I just know I can't wait until Tuesday. I feel so so anxious and finding this all too hard. Got an app with my dr next week to talk about this all.

[DoctorBambino]

Thinking of you @littleeggcup you must be so stressed 😔 hope all is ok

[MrsB2019x]

Good luck @littleeggcup 🤞

[MrsB2019x]

We’re gonna need a new thread soon this one is almost full 😳

[Sammyclaire22]

How did the scan go @littleeggcup? Sorry to hear its so stressful.

I bled a lot with my first pregnancy after my ectopic (heavy fresh blood multiple times) so I know how horrible it is worrying about a mc after all the stress of seeing if it's ectopic. We went private each time,same as you either I was fobbed off or scan was weeks away and I needed to know for my mental health. I had a mc the pregnancy between these two too and it seems so cruel to have that thrown in after all of us have been through. Really hope it's a simple explanation for you (think mine was my cervix! I have ectopy which can react to the pregnancy hormones) x

[littleeggcup]

This baby is just willing to give me a heart attack I think!

Measuring perfectly at 7wk 5. Heart rate of 149- although no idea about fetal heart rates!

I really need to try and relax now. Still going to epu Tuesday to check my bleeding is definitely coming from my ectropion.

[ScottishStardust]

@Hlump1980 , when my period came the following month I was kind of relieved. I was told m, and then researched, that you only have a period of you've ovulated. So given the fact I'd had my tube removed things seemed to be working as they should.

Glad to hear things went ok this afternoon @littleeggcup - it's very hard not to worry but try to relax and enjoy! 149 is a good wee heartbeat! Make sure you mention anxieties to your midwife and/or GP as they'll be able to ensure you have the correct support.

[ActonBell]

Hello- could I join this thread? It’s 5 days since my ectopic was discovered. Sorry - I don’t want to bring back bad memories for anyone but I’ll just quickly say what’s happened. I was 6 weeks pregnant. I’d had bleeding early on and thought it was a chemical but the tests kept getting stronger lines. I had HcG blood tests and they doubled so I was told not to worry. Started to bleed again on Monday afternoon and within an hour was in excruciating pain. Rang epu and they said to go straight to a&e. Nurse took one look at me and put me straight on a bed - I had a canula and stuff going on within minutes, which was great but scary. Then 24 hazy and horrible hours of scans, surgery in the middle of the night and waking up having lost my baby and my right tube. It had ruptured and I was haemorrhaging, though luckily I didn’t need a transfusion. We have one son already, which makes me feel very, very lucky. We have been trying for no 2 for a year and we just started fertility investigations a couple of months ago. It’s all been so horrible.

I’m finding it very hard all round but especially in the current circumstances. My DS (3.5) hasn’t gone back to nursery because we are concerned about COVID rates at the moment (DH is vulnerable). So I’m trying to look after him and recover at the same time. DH had a little time off work but needs to get back to working from home next week.

We’d like to start ttc again as soon as possible but obviously we’re some way off that at the moment.

It would be so helpful to connect with others who have been through something similar. Thanks x

[Sammyclaire22]

Lovely news @littleeggcup, glad all is OK x

Welcome @actonbell, I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that if talking about what happened helps then feel free to. An ectopic is often so much more than the loss of a baby, and its an awful lot to take in and process as well as grieve. All of us on here get the complex mix of emotions. So feel free to rant or moan or just waffle if it helps.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal physically and mentally. I know I took at least 6 weeks to feel more normal after my surgery and I know how hard looking after a toddler is too. X

[Hlump1980]

@ActonBell I am so sorry for what happened. My ectopic was last month and I found I was fine one minute and then next minute I was so exhausted that I would sleep for 2 hours. so please take care of yourself x

[ActonBell]

Thanks @Hlump1980 and @Sammyclaire22
Can I ask how long you think your physical recovery took? I realise it’s not actually possible to separate out the physical and mental but I’m shocked by how knocked out I am.

I do feel a little better physically today, which is good. I need to be in touch with work next week and let them know what to expect. At the moment I have a sick note for 3 weeks and I’ve used 1 week. Do you think this will be enough? I’m wondering whether I should talk to occupational health about maybe easing back in on slightly reduced hours. I’ll be wfh because of COVID but will be trying to look after DS as well.

Mentally I’m mostly okay except at night. At the moment I can’t stop remembering how afraid I was and reliving bits of it. It keeps me awake till the wee small hours.

[Hlump1980]

@ActonBell I am teacher so I had two weeks off and then had 3 weeks for the Christmas holiday. I am back to work tomorrow ( nursery with the children ) , so will have to see. My stitches were slightly itchy at times but I found at night when I was asleep they would hurt more as I would be able to control the movement. I did have to do everything for myself as I had nobody there to help thanks to covid so I just had to take everything super slow putting in my shoes was a sight I am sure. But god I did sleep lots and cry lots. I also tried to go for a walk even if it was for shot time every day after about 4 days after the operation. I think I am physically ok now stitches are out. Need to get bio oil on then though. Just having my first period which is heavy but not too painful at the moment. Work will either be the best thing for me or will knock me out.
At night I found I need to take the painkiller the hospital gave me and that helped me sleep too I did though find it also made my even more teary. So only did it for a week. Then I listened to to sleep app stories which really helped . X

[Kate105]

Hi @ActonBell I’m sorry you find yourself here but this has been a great place for support when I’ve needed it. I had surgery in September and had to have about 2 and a half weeks off afterwards. Also a teacher so a lot of standing and moving around but once I was back I felt absolutely fine. I agree with an earlier post, the more you can get moving, even if it’s only a tiny bit, the better you will start to feel (physically at least). Good luck x

[NigellasMicrowave]

@ActonBell I’m so sorry for your loss - 5 days is really very recent so you must be feeling all sorts of things, physically and emotionally. My ectopic was a month ago and I went back to work p/t for while after three weeks. Though I was able to be treated with methotrexate, I’m still exhausted so three days of work is really going to be my limit until I’m fully recovered. My period arrived when my hcg hit zero (not a proper period as I didn’t ovulate, but apparently, it happens) and that’s added to the load of exhaustion. My best advice is to listen to your body and mind and if you need some more time off, or to do a phased return, then I think that’s what you need and so be it. I definitely haven’t bounced back, but as the weeks pass, it gets a bit better.

[that90sgirl]

@ActonBell sorry you find yourself here. I think I took a bit more time than most with 8 weeks off in total. Physically I felt fine by about 3-4 weeks but mentally I just couldn't bring myself to go back to work as my job is really stressful and at the hospital where I was treated for my ectopic! My advice is to be really easy on yourself, the first few weeks are tough!

[Sammyclaire22]

I think physically it varies between everyone @actonbell, and 5 days is very early after both major surgery and a huge traumatic time.
I had an initial note for 2 weeks, but ended up using the full 6 weeks off as I was still so tired. I lost a lot of blood too (borderline needed a transfusion like you) so i think that had a lot to do with it, plus the shock of it all. But then I also got pregnant the month after my surgery so it was all a bit of a blur and an emotional rollercoaster.

Emotionally it took me a long time to get over, I found things triggered the memories quite often afterwards and I felt an awful lot of guilt. X

[DoctorBambino]

Hi @actonbell your story sounds very similar to mine, I had ruptured and lost my right tube too. Mine was back in September. I was actually back at work by day 3 (lots of hobbling and I had to hold my seat belt off my belly button and could only bear wearing a floaty dress) because for me I felt I needed to just get on and distract myself. Everyone will be different, there's no right or wrong.

I've made us a new thread and have added a very one that has said something recently (I hope, sorry if I missed anyone)

[Mumlili9]

@DoctorBambino can you please add me to the new thread please x

[Sunflower1235]

Hey! Did you end up conceiving? Going through this now