Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

[hogwarts]

I've also posted on the pregnancy board.

My period was late and yesterday I did a Pg test and got a BFP. DH and I have discussed another child, we have 2 already 5 & 8 and he was very much against it although I was very keen. We agreed that we wouldnt have another child and concentrate on our relationship. Circumstances at the min are not great financially although we had DS when I was 21 so not great timing then either! I havent told him that I have done the test but did tell him yday that it was very late - he has said constantly I hope you aren't pregnant. A bit of background is that DH had an affair 3 years ago and we seperated for 9 months. We are now very much together and have a stronger relationship, I'm just so scared that he will take this news badly and leave as he has been texting me all morning to tell me to get a test and do it and that he is worried sick that it is going to be BFP. I asked him this morning if he loved me which he answered yes, I asked him if he would still love me if I was pg and he said yes but he really did not want another child. I know this may seem insensitive of me when there are so many people trying very hard to conceive, its just such a very very big shock to me. Part of me is so pleased but the rest is shocked/scared/worried about DH reaction. I had my mirena coil out earlier this year, been on Cilest pill since. I am due to be bridesmaid at my brother and SIL wedding next March, by my reckoning I will be around 7 months pg by then - I'm due to go for the first fitting on Thursday - do I tell them or not, I dont want them to pay any money when I know I wont be able to do it but then again as I am only 4/5 weeks I dont want it made public....

What a pickle I'm in .... Please help

Hi Guys. Sorry for the disappearing act. Been a combination of feeling awful, I thought you were meant to feel better in the 2nd trimester -have had a really nasty cold for past fortnight which kicked started my asthma and ended up wiped out for several days, that and being totally knackered, kids being unwell, well there just hasnt been any time.

Apart from the above I am keeping well. Still havent plucked up the courage to talk to my mum. I know I know, I so want to but just can't get the words out, its gone on too long it keeps me awake at night, I go over the conversation in my head all the time. I am determined to tell her this week, with your support and encouragement - its her 60th birthday on Saturday and I am sort of hoping she will be pleased that she is going to have another grandchild (once she gets over the shock and probable hurt that I havent told her before now) -the fact that it is so far in makes it so much harder, I wish I had told her much earlier as I def need her support. DH still ignores the fact that I am now 16 weeks pregnant, tho he did comment on Sunday that I had a noticeable bump. He has done nothing for me, I told him the other day that I knew he didnt care about the baby but that I thought he cared about me and at the minute was happy to watch me run unto the ground with exhaustion. From then he has done a few bits to help me so that seemed to work (for the time being anyway). He asked me the other day why I hadnt told anyone yet, my response was that he had made it that way. Anyway, had my first antenatal appointment at the surgery on Monday. Basic checkup, urine, blood pressure, feel of my tummy etc but all was well. The downside is that somewhere between the GP and the maternity hospital I have no referral and am not booked in yet. My midwife was going to call them to ask for an urgent appt as I have had no blood tests, scans etc and will be due my 20 week scan soon (2o weeks on Christmas eve!!)

So thats you updated. How are you all? Looney how is your LO doing?
Expat - I read your thread. I hope you are well in the circumstances. You have given me such wonderful advice and support, I only wish I could offer some to you in return but words cant say what I want to so here's massive (((((HUG)))) from me. My thoughts are with you and your family x

Finally, though this really deserves a post of its own....

Can I saw a massive thank you to the kind person who took the trouble to send me a secret santa parcel. It arrived today and I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. The time, trouble and effort which you put into it is the kindest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I have never experienced such kindness in my life, I cannot say thank you enough. You are a special person. I would love to know who you are so that I can say thank you personally. Receiving gifts for the LO make it seem real and for the first time since discovering I was pregnant I actually felt pregnant and was happy about it. Thank you x

Oh I'm so glad to have heard from you xxxx

(I am not supposed to be posting as I have anessay due in on Friday & I wasn't allowing myself on the pc... but when I had done over 1000 I said "Hell I'll have a 5min browse.. & yours was the first post I saw!)

So glad you seem to be feeling much better healthwise. And you have our support to tell your mam

I hope she will be happy for you, sure how couldn't she? Another wee grandchild We got our mam a portrait done of the grandkids last week.. 15 of them!!!

Yey Hoggy Your back, sorry to hear you have been unwell. I know things are still hard but I am thinking of you.

p.s got my BFP last week, don't tell anyone!!!

Can't believe you have managed to hide your bump and you must be shattered. Take care, keep us posted. CK X

Yeah Coolkat - congrats. My lips are sealed! Is this your first?

Bump isnt that big yet, although I have put on about 5lb. I think stress has kept the weight off as I am officially addicted to chocolate . Am still in my normal clothes although they are getting "tight". Come evening time they are replaced with pj's - my tummy seems to get much bigger in the evening, I cant remember this from before, is this normal?? I won some auctions on ebay today for maternity clothes, can't really afford new ones at the minute. Some bargains on there though. Good luck with the essay FFF2!

Hi Hogwarts. It's sooooo good to hear from you.
Sorry you have all been ill.
My SIL is pregnant at the mo and she puts her jimjams on as soon as she gets in as her gorgeous little bump gets in the way!!! (It is v normal)
wishing you lots of love and good luck to you all

Hi Hogwarts, good to hear from you. I keep checking this thread to see where you are.
I'm sorry to hear you were all so ill, but you do sound on the mend now.
I totally agree about the jammies on, nothing is nicer than your actual elasticated waist and a nice cream egg or something.
Try to stay relaxed, you are doing such a great job for this baby.
Have you seen much of your best friend whilst you have been ill?

glad you are back.

stop worrying over your mum - when you do get round to talking about the LO she will be fine. it is in the job description, and you know it. try to get a bit of rest, how 'bout claiming that man-flu is about and that takes your average male weeeeeks to get over

Good to hear from you hogwarts Hope things continue to get better for you.

Tell your Mum!! It's a shame you haven't got a scan picture you could put in her birthday card. How about putting '+ bump' after all your names? Stop worrying about it being too late! Too late would be when you'd actually given birth which is what my ex-h did when I had DD1 (long story!)

Had a call late yesterday from the maternity hospital. They have now received my referral and given that I am 16 weeks want to see me asap. I have an appt for Monday morning, I texted DH to work to tell him and to give him the option of whether he came or not. Said we would talk about it when he got home. I also called my BF and asked her to come if DH won't. Unfortunately I was in bed asleep by the time DH got home last night and he was asleep when I left for work this morning so haven't talked about it... Will let you know

Good luck with your appointment Hogwarts - maybe once it's over you can tell your mum & just let her think that you wanted to get the tests out of the way first? Or you could tell her on Saturday & tell her it's a surprise birthday pressie

Seriously tho' I'm glad things are moving forward & that you're going to be getting proper ante-natal care now. I hope your dh can have a proper adult conversation with you once he sees that this is actually going to happen & no amount of tantrums & strops from him will stop it.

Am also pleased that your secret santa pressie cheered you up - you'll have to tell us what you got There's a thank you thread - the sender won't know your MN name so you can just name change if you like & just say what you got so they know you're talking to them.

I'll be in that bag with everyone else on Monday x

Oh god, I kept coming on over and over and then didn't this week (lots going on, sister had ectopic pregnancy and rushed into hospital - she had been strerlized so was all a shock). ANYWAY.......so glad I just accidentally when into this section instead of Anti-Natal as otherwise I wouldn't have caught up. Sorry you were all feeling unwell but pleased you're ok now. Good luck with your appointment and of course telling your mum, I KNOW it will be fine, even if a shock to start with it'll be fine after!!! Can't believe you are still in normal clothes - I'm 10+5 and have an obvious tummy and had to go into maternity clothes! I'm fine thanks and although don't feel pregnant and was worrying still, I'm now really happy as saw my baby wave at me a week ago yesterday and it made it all so real

Still thinking of you and keep us posted won't you!!

LT xxxxxxx

Good Luck for the morning Hoggy

Say Hi to your little one for all of us

Hi Hogwarts how did it go? I hope that you are ok and your midwife appointment went well.

Thinking of you sweat heart hope all is well. X

Hey Hogwarts - how did the ante-natal appointment go?

Hi, all went well. Got phone line/computer probs so will try and type this quick before I lose the connection again.

DH came with me (!!!) but we had a 30min delay before we got called and during that time he got called back to work so missed the appointment. I was glad that he came though and he did seem genuinely annoyed to be called away. He rang half way through my appointment to say he was able to get away again and would come back but by the time he would have got there I would have been finished.

All went well, dates confirmed to be 17+ weeks, scan dates are 2-3 days earlier than period dates but they only change them if it is greater than 10 days discrepancy. LO performed for the scan, at one point was seen to be sucking his/her foot which made us all laugh. All appeared to be well and I am back in 3 weeks for my 20 week scan, just before Christmas. DH even managed a smile when he saw the scan photos when he got home from work so hopefully he is starting to soften a little. I've still very mixed feelings if I am honest but am starting to get a little excited after the scan and have read my notes and bounty book from cover to cover! I have picked up a tummy bug and so stayed home from work today and slept from 9am until 1 so must have needed it. Thanks for the well wishes, I hope you are all well xx

Really pleased for you Hogwarts, it appears things are looking up for you.
X

That's great Hogwarts. So pleased dh supported you - I think it's especially nice that he rang to say he would come back - he didn't need to do that but it sounds to me like he wants you to know something positive. All the best

Aw hoggy! That news about your dh made me choke..

How lovely

Hogwarts that's great news! Glad all went well & so pleased that your dh went along even if he did get called away

I read who whole of this thread yesterday and was so annoyed with your DH! I had a termination when I was 18 but our situation was role reversal because boyfriend wanted to keep the baby and I didn't (well I did actually but we'd only been together a month and didn't want to be a single Mum). Well we are still together 7 years later with 2 beautiful children and considering trying for a third next year. I am so pleased that your DH came to your appointment. Even though he got called away he still offered to come back (he could of used the excuse that he couldn't get away again). I know he'll probably say he still doesn't want the baby but when he does just remember that little smile! It sounds like he's getting used to the idea and actually feeling happy about being a Daddy again!!!!! But we all know how Men can be so stubborn and hate to admit they are wrong! Anyway I just wanted to give you my 'Congratulations' to both of you.

Telling us that DH went with you has put a huge on my face.
Pleased things are looking up for you all.
x

Hi Hogwarts, me too! Glad that your OH came with you (still cant' say 'D') and seemed genuinely interested. I can understand why you would have mixed feelings after all he has put you through.
But on a cheerful note, bless the little thing for making you laugh. See it doesn't want its Mummy to be sad. Hope you are feeling better soon and can't wait to hear about the next scan.

lol at babyhog sucking its foot. bet you can't do that!!
glad things are improving, very pleased about H seeing some sense at the mo, just hoping it keeps on going this way. Chuffed for you!

Thanks for the support (again!) guys. Guess what.......I've told my parents, they were OVER THE MOON!!! Can't belive I put off telling them for so long. I know you all did tell me this but the longer it went on the harder it got. I didnt mention how long I have known for and mum didnt ask. She told me she has had her suspicions for some time but was absolutely thrilled, said she couldnt wait to tell everyone! In fact she left here to go to the chemist to buy some wipes to start her supplies box!! She was babbling about names, new prams, babysitting, summer baby etc...

I told her my main worry was my brother's wedding (remember I am to be their (heavily pregnant) bridesmaid). Mum is going to talk to my brother and tell him then I will go and see him after, I had thought she would be concerned about their wedding but her reaction was " well, they will just have to get over it won't they - their wedding is only for a day and I'm getting a new grandchild for the rest of my life!"

My dad is a man of few words but when I told him of little one sucking his/her toes he said" uh oh, trouble already!"

I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off me, such a relief. I'm tired of the secrecy and of keeping my now expanding belly under wraps. Mum said the tell tale sign was the excess weight I had put on my hips and bum - only a mother can get away with saying that!!

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all this. Thanks again for being there xx

You've got me here in tears!!!!