TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@SweetpeaOrMarigold Thank you. I didn’t mean that you should be grateful because none of us knows what the future holds and we all have our own struggles but just that after something has gone wrong it’s easy to think the worst or think our bodies don’t work any more. I do this too and worry my age means it’ll be so much harder to have a baby now. But then I remind myself I had a baby a year ago and have no reason to think I cant have another one or that my fertility has massively changed in a year so I try to focus on that. I would probably go to my GP if I’m worried about it any time though. I hope speaking to your GP helps even if you give you some reassurance.

[SweetpeaOrMarigold]

Thanks so much for talking me down, am currently not speaking to OH because I'm so snappy. I don't mean to be but I'm so on the edge today. Had been looking at prams online yesterday, even though I had told myself I wouldn't this time.

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I’m sorry. It’s just rubbish if it is happening again. The women on this thread are lovely though so hopefully you find some support here xx

[SweetpeaOrMarigold]

Thanks so much Bunny. It was so easy with my son, barely thought about it! Working where I do in NICU, I see what can go wrong all the time, so I'm always wary anyway. Equally I see perfectly well babies born every day, get to share in their happy moments. This next week will be hard.

[mrsmb03]

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I'm sorry to hear, was it a planned pregnancy this 2nd time around? I'm in the process of miscarrying, one week ago when I had the intense pain, I'm just light bleeding now. That was my first pregnancy. I'm 40 now I'm quite scared.

[SweetpeaOrMarigold]

Yes new partner, our first together. Carefully planned and now 2 MC.
That pain is awful isnt it? I have bad periods and coped fine with labour but that was really not nice last night

[Mumlili9]

@SunStruck did you say you had a blighted ovum, if so what did your hcg numbers do. I spoke to another doctor today who says she's hopefully because although my numbers are very low they did double in less than 24hours.

Am I grasping at straws and holding out for false hope ladies. Should I just book a private scan for next week. Oh god I don't know where I am I'm so lost. I so want this to be our rainbow but I don't want to drag this out if its not going to happen. Any advice is more than welcome

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@Mumlili9 Will a private scan show anything? I kind of think of a scan will show something then the nhs should be scanning you?! I think of course you will be hopeful. I am hopeful for you! I do get that you just need to know either way and if you think a private scan will help (bearing in mind it could be good news or bad news) then I say go for it because you’ll be anxious. Sorry can’t be more help xx

[SunStruck]

@Mumlili8 I'll be honest with you and my blighted ovum started by me testing positive quite late, and even then the line was really faint up until 19 DPO. I've only had one pregnancy before this one (the one that ended in MMC), but this time I had a strong line at 9 DPO already so I knew something was off.

I went for hcg tests, and my first test was low, like 67. It didn't double in 48 hours, it rose slowly, but by the third time I was back for hcg test, it had risen to 700 something so very quick (after initially being slow). I kept getting scans to make sure the pregnancy was in the right place (it was), but the sac was measuring behind. At 6.5 weeks I had another scan and they saw a yolk sac but no fetal pole (and they should have seen everything by then). I started to naturally miscarry after this.

In my mind this was much easier than a mmc, it's very frustrating because it sets you back when TTC but it's nothing like hearing a heartbeat and making it to 10 weeks to discover the baby has died a week prior. There was never any baby there in the first place.

I think it sounds good your hcg doubled in such short period of time! I do think you should get early scans just to rule out ectopic x

[Mumlili9]

@SunStruck thanks hun. I totally agree with a blighted ovum being the lesser of the evils, I too have had 3 mmc's, multiple cp's and I hoped this was my rainbow but now I suspect it is a blighted ovum or ectopic for sure now. Just wish it would hurry along now.
@BunnytheBlueWhale thank you for your advice too hun. I'm going to wait and see what this blood test says, ask again for a scan and if they won't I'll book a private one instead

Thanks ladies x

[mrsmb03]

@SweetpeaOrMarigold yes the pain was horrendous. My DH said I fainted when it was all happening. He said I fell onto the bed and he said what are you doing? Wake up or something to that effect and I've not fainted in all my life. Do you think your Miscarriage was more painful than your actual labour?

[SweetpeaOrMarigold]

I think because its unexpected it doesn't help. Contractions are really painful and I would say that MC pain is as bad. It just floors you. No slow build up like labour. I'd had cramps all the way through both pregnancies and suddenly bam it felt like I had been stabbed and someone was pulling me inside out.

[SunStruck]

@Mumlili9 I hope it will turn out okay! Have you had any testing etc done (3mmc:s?)

[Mumlili9]

@SunStruck yes hun they found nothing so far but I am waiting for a hysteroscopy so if this is another mc then hopefully they can see why

[Mumlili9]

@SunStruck yes hun everything came back good so no reason except age I think.

[SweetpeaOrMarigold]

Gp has sent me for a lot of basic bloods related to other health issues, including thyroid as shes a bit worried Ive been borderline low a couple of years ago.
Now sat in a different clinic.

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Good luck with getting some answers @Mumlili9 and @SweetpeaOrMarigold

[SunStruck]

@Mumlili9 that's good they've tested you! How old are you if you don't mind me asking? If it's just that and nothing else it's going to be a numbers game... you will get there ☺️

[Mumlili9]

@SunStruck I'm the grey area age of 38. I'm starting to wonder if my eggs are pickled

[SunStruck]

@Mumlili8 I am 36 and this is our first baby we're trying for, so I'm quite nervous 😩 do you already have kids?

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Not sure what’s going on with me. I am spotting slightly (TMI - like a tinge of colour in CM) and have been feeling crappy for days. I’m on CD28 and usually have about 31 day cycles but Ovia has AF due Friday and I usually have awful PMT which I don’t appear to have so seems odd to have spotting first 🤷🏻‍♀️

PS I’m 36 😬

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Well actually I’m 36 next month...

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

I suppose spotting now is kind of in line with AF coming on Friday. I was hopeful this month too!

[RR369]

Don't lose hope @BunnytheBlueWhale spotting doesn't mean anything, apparently equally common before AF and in early pregnancy. I'm due Friday too, fingers crossed for us both 🤞

[mrsmb03]

Can I ask please, to those who were working when you were told you were going to miscarry or when you miscarried. How long did you go off sick for? I'm unsure when I am ready to face the world but I feel pressured not to go off sick too long. This doesn't help my mental health at all worrying that I have to think about staff cover as well as the physical and emotional aspect of recovery. Would love to hear your experiences and or advice. x