TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@zoomies1 thank you!! and Good luck - you've got this! xx

@msanne The hospital sound like they didn’t look after you very well. I’d encourage you to contact the charities if you feel you need more support, if and when you feel up to it. I found Sands meetings really helpful to be able to talk to people who understood (obviously face to face meetings are on hold now) but Sands have a telephone helpline too and ARC may have similar.

I drink raspberry leaf tea and take high dose vitamin E but I don't want to take L-Arginine because I've read that it can have a negative effect on egg quality. The last thing I want is more duff embryos implanting so well that they have to be vacuumed out.

@peperethecat that's interesting, I hadn't heard that! Maybe I'll skip that when I start trying again next month. Thanks for the info.

Guys, I think I'm having the weirdest miscarriage ever.

On 13 DPO I got a very very faint line on a FRER, so two weeks ago today on 14 DPO I got a blood test and my HCG was 6. I then had a heavy period and bled for five days (which isn't normal for me, I usually only have very light periods).

Then on Thursday (what I thought was CD10) I did a Clearblue Advanced ovulation test expecting to see a blank circle and got a peak fertility reading. I then double checked with a cheapie and it was also a blazing positive. I never normally ovulate before CD18 and I wouldn't normally start doing OPKs before CD15 so I was really surprised and did a pregnancy test just to rule it out.

The pregnancy test came back positive and I had a blood test that day and found out that my HCG was 383. By Saturday morning (48 hours later) it had risen to 600. I was fearing an ectopic and planning to keep getting blood tests until my level got high enough for something to be seen on an ultrasound and then ask my doctor to scan me urgently. But then this morning my HCG had fallen again to 380.

I think this means that I am having another miscarriage (or if it was ectopic, hopefully it's resolving itself naturally), but the weirdest miscarriage in the world.

I am going to keep getting betas done every couple of days to make sure my HCG keeps falling and doesn't rise again, and then I guess once it's back to zero my cycle will maybe restart again...? It wouldn't surprise me if I don't even bleed, because I'm pretty sure I shed all my uterine lining during what I thought was my period.

I'm so confused, but also somewhat relieved that this very weird pregnancy that I wasn't expecting seems to be resolving itself. I never had any hope that this one would work out.

Hope you’re ok @peperethecat I don’t have any advice but sorry that your body appears to be playing tricks and hope for the best outcome for you

@peperethecat our bodies really know how to screw with us don't they. This must be a massive headfuck for you and I'm sorry I can't offer any words of advice.

Thanks for your replies. It is indeed a massive head fuck. This was supposed to be my first "normal" cycle since my D&C in February, and I was trying to get into a healthy and positive mindset. I only started the Clearblue ovulation tests because I wanted to see if I could catch my estrogen surge, because low estrogen is something I'm worried about. (I have a thin lining and I never get much EWCM.) If I hadn't decided to use those this cycle I probably wouldn't have tested until tomorrow and I'd have got a positive on a cheapie and probably thought I was ovulating earlier than usual, and then been confused when I didn't ovulate. My temps (for the few days I took them before I found out I was pregnant) were all clearly pre-ovulatory. I had cycle day 3 testing done and my progesterone level was pretty much zero.

I honestly don't understand how this has happened, and now instead of feeling optimistic and trying to have lots of sex during my fertile window, I am once again going to be getting endless blood tests to track my HCG back down to zero and wondering when the hell I am next going to ovulate.

It is a total, total mind fuck.

Hi Ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining. I'm 30 and TTC (trying to conceive) baby number one. I started trying in June last year and got a BFP (big fat positive) in August so was lucky to conceive quite quickly. Unfortunately my 12 week scan showed the baby had died at week 7. I was later diagnosed as having had a partial molar pregnancy which is super rare and unfortunately can become cancerous so you have to go through a period of monitoring by specialists and during that time you can't try again. I've finally been told I'm free to try again but I'd missed my fertile window last month by the time they gave me the green light. I came on my period yesterday so this is cycle one for me.

Wishing you all luck xxx

Hello @Noble89, sorry you find yourself here. I only just started posting but everyone is so nice.

Thanks those who were asking after me, sorry I disappeared for a couple of days. The bleeding stopped and it probably technically qualified as spotting rather than bleeding - I just absolutely freaked out when I woke and saw blood. It happened twice first thing in the morning and seems to have done. The blood was brown so old which is good but on that first morning I saw a clot which freaked me out. Anyway I'm over 6 weeks now and just holding my breath until I can have a scan (waiting til 8 1/2 weeks because visibility in my womb is terrible and because I have only got to 6 weeks before so if I see a heartbeat I think I'll be so happy). I'm still not feeling hopeful, I can only imagine the same thing happening again and being so gutted at the scan.

Hope everyone is holding up ok, and I really hope to see lots of you on the other thread soon xxxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 that sounds more positive then. All my fingers and ties are crossed for you. X

Welcome to anyone new, such a shame you have to join us but we all look after each other here.

I think @Mumlili9 suggested a roll call and mine is
MMC at 20 weeks last October 2019
Miscarriage at 7 weeks in Feb 2020
I'm 40 years old

I haven't tried since the latest miscarriage as I'm overdue my smear test for such a long time due to pregnancies and now we are in lockdown I can't get a smear test. I was also referred for recurrent miscarriage clinic but of course that's all on hold too.

Does anyone know any way of going private in the UK for a smear?

Fingers crossed for you too, @MOGMOGMOG85

Roll call is a good idea.

Mine is:

CP at less than 5 weeks in April 2019
Early MC between 5 and 6 weeks in July 2019
(pause of several months for testing)
MMC at 8 weeks (embryo measured 7 weeks) in January 2020 with failed medical management and eventually a D&C to remove retained tissue
"weirdest miscarriage in the world" at 6 weeks (I guess) as of today (I guess)

I'm 34 and have no living children.

Hello ladies. I would love to join you if that’s ok. I went for my harmony test last Thursday and got the sad news that the heartbeat had stopped - all sad and shocking more so as I had seen a heartbeat only a week before. I had the surgery over the weekend and am now just recovering slowly. Have this week off work.

Think we will definitely try again. This was the first time for me - we are having tests done on the poc and will have an appointment with the consultant in maybe four weeks time when the results are in. We won’t try again until after this appointment and receiving all the advice we need.

I am sad to be here but glad that there is a space for me to get support and hopefully give support too xx

@Noble89 and @Ranoutofgoodnames welcome and sorry for your losses. I hope you find this thread is supportive. It's affectionately known as the penguin 🐧 huddle. I'm the old cheese round these parts been here forever. I hope in the best possible way your stay with us is short and you have your rainbows soon.
@peperethecat I'm so sorry this happened to you again x be gentle with your self x
@MOGMOGMOG85 Fx everything will be just perfect this time and spotting is really common in early stages of pregnancy.
@peperethecat what's this about l'arginine being bad for egg quality, that's really worrying as I've been taking it since af, bet I've naffed this cycle now.
@footprintsintheslow hello hun how are you getting on x
@msanne how beautiful a cherry blossom, I hope seeing this tree brings you peace after such an awful time. I planted a purple rose Bush for my babies and it brings me comfort when the flowers bloom.

As for me I think I'm in for another duff cycle. Fw starts tomorrow but I'm getting twinges on my tubeless side again, so probably out before I've even tried. I also think it's going to be another rediculously early ovulation again. So doing well this cycle, crap egg quality, immature egg and no tube to catch it, oh the joys 😔. Oh well I can pray for a miracle I guess x

@footprintsintheslow I think you can contact a private gynaecologist (bupa’s website has a search function) but I suspect they have all stopped working due to Covid.

@Ranoutofgoodnames sorry you find yourself here. That must have been such a terrible shock.

My app thinks it has found ovulation which happened pretty quickly after my BBT dropped but DH wouldn’t DTD with me last week so I’m out anyway. I know it’s best to give your body a chance to recover from the ERPC but there is always a part of your brain that wonders what might have happened.

Have a lovely day!

Thanks ladies. Have woken up today with cramps etc Any idea when they will go away if I had the surgical management on Saturday?

@Mumlili9 I read it in the "It Starts With The Egg" book. She recommends l-arginine in IVF cycles to help with the lining but only after egg retrieval as it may have an impact on quality.

I never know how much trust to put in that book though.

@peperethecat if im on Cd8 and usually ovulate cd10 or cd11 and stop taking it now do you think that will be too late and I've still fecked it this cycle

Oh I really don't want to scare you. I don't think it will make any difference to this cycle at all. If it does make any difference to egg quality then it will only be a marginal one, especially if you haven't taken it for very long. I certainly don't think it would make any difference between this cycle being "the one" or not.

For heavens sake I'm only Cd8 and that's a bloody positive isn't it. That's just to early. What the heck do I do to make ovulation come later

When do you normally ovulate?

@Mumlili9 I don’t know if it’s related or not, but I increased my Vitamin B6 from 50g to 100mg this month and I ovulated later than any of the previous months since I’ve been tracking with OPK’s! Got my peak on CD17, but the month before got it on CD12. I’ve no idea if it was the B6 that did it, but it could be worth a try? I’m taking the higher dose to try and extend my luteal phase a little bit.

@peperethecat I normally peak on cd11. I'm so upset this is just getting worse and worse. I really think I'm menopausal, my cycles are getting shorter and lighter and I'm ovulating earlier and earlier. I really don't know what to do

Do you confirm ovulation with temping? How long are your cycles normally?