Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

959 replies

BunnytheBlueWhale · 23/01/2020 09:23

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Isittimeforbubblesyet · 18/04/2020 15:01

Hi @Mumlili9 thanks for the mention. Really sorry to hear AF came and that it has been short and light. I dont think mine have been the same since the MC but until this virus stuff is over, they wont look into it further.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I am so sorry to hear that you are bleeding. How are things today?

I am on dpo10 and broke and did a test today which came back negative. Was fully expecting it to be negative but I still feel sad that I won't have conceived before my due date next month.

Stay safe everyone Flowers

msanne · 18/04/2020 15:15

HI Ladies,

I just found this thread, so wanted to ask some of your advice.

We lost our little girl to Edwards syndrome about a month and a half ago; I had a medical termination at 17 weeks which was horrible in itself. I was able to birth the placenta at the same time but a few US scans since have shown remnants inside of me. I went to see the consultant yesterday and he advised me that although it appears i have some of the old pregnany inside me, my body has in fact returned to "normal" I have ovulated (from both ovaries) and the blood flow in the entire area looks good. He told me that I could start TTC again (if we are ready) after my next period and told me that I wouldn't need to have any further scans or surgery.

I am a bit confused though - wouldn't it be dangerous if I got pregnant if there was old tissue inside me? This "tissue" has not budged for over 1 month (despite numerous scans)...Or will that be re-absorbed back into my body.

Any advice or help is greatly appreciated :)

Thank you xx

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 15:22

I live in France and was given the vitamin E and pentoxifylline on prescription. I take it every day, no matter where I am in my cycle. That said, I'm not sure how good the evidence is for it. There are some studies showing that it helped to thicken the endometrium in patients who didn't respond to estrogen therapy.

I think that one of my next moves will be to ask my gynaecologist for a transvaginal ultrasound around the time I am due to ovulate and see how thick my lining is then. If it's still as thin as she seems to think, I'd like to try micronized estradiol and see if that helps. From what I've read, a thin lining is either down to poor circulation in the uterus or low estrogen. I suspect I may have low estrogen, and that the other stuff I'm taking to improve my lining may not help. I very rarely see any EWCM, which I think may be an indication of low estrogen.

Regarding my periods, I never normally get more than three days of bleeding, and it's always very light. I'm trying to be more scientific about it and actually measure the quantity of blood using a menstrual cup. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of data yet because last cycle was the first period after my miscarriage and I don't think my lining had a chance to build up at all before ovulation because I was still bleeding and spotting. When my period finally came I recorded 10ml on the first day, 7ml on the second day and 3ml on the third day, so 20ml in total. From what I've found on the Internet, less than 20-25ml per cycle is considered abnormally light. To confuse matters, last week I had a very heavy "period" with two days of proper heavy bleeding followed by three days of light bleeding. I think I bled around 75ml in total. I was really pleased because I thought it was maybe a sign that my lining had built up for once, and if nothing else that my uterus was having a good old clear out. It made me hopeful for the next cycle. But then unfortunately I tested positive for pregnancy on what I thought was day 10 of my cycle and am now dealing with what I suspect is another non-viable pregnancy and possibly an ectopic, so God knows what is going on. I suspect it will be a while before I start having normal periods I can track now.

As for the progesterone, from what I can make out it isn't usually prescribed in the UK because there is little evidence that it actually helps. But it seems to be quite commonly prescribed in France. I was originally told by one gynaecologist to start taking it as soon as I got a BFP, but she then referred me to another gynaecologist who has more expertise in miscarriages. When I spoke to her and told her about how I track my cycles, she told me to start taking it the day after ovulation because it might help with implantation. Interestingly, in Professor Lesley Regan's book, she dismisses progesterone supplements almost entirely, saying they don't improve pregnancy outcomes, but she does add that if any research shows they are helpful in the future, she thinks it will show that they help with implantation, and so would only be helpful during monitored cycles where the patient takes them during the luteal phase. So maybe there is something in it. Anyway, because I am self-monitoring my cycles I don't actually take it until 3 or 4 DPO, when I'm sure I've definitely ovulated, because I don't want to start taking it too early if I get a random high temperature and mess with my ovulation. I then take it until about 12 DPO and stop if my test is negative.

If you're being prescribed progesterone supplements and tracking your ovulation with OPKs and temping then maybe you could suggest this approach to your doctor. You'll need more progesterone if you're taking it in the second half of every cycle than if you only take it when you get a BFP, so they'll need to be on board with this approach.

As for whether it works, who knows? But I took it from 3 DPO when I got pregnant the third time and the embryo implanted very well indeed. So well that when I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage it took two rounds of misoprostol and then an MBA to shift it. Sad Unfortunately we didn't have the embryo tested because I passed the sac during the attempted medical management, but my gynaecologist thought it looked like a chromosomal abnormality from the ultrasound because the sac was very large compared to the size of the embryo. So it's quite possible that if the embryo had been normal the progesterone might have helped it go to term.

Sorry for the long essay. I hope some of this is helpful to you. I've only just created this account so I could start posting but I've been reading these threads for some time and I am so sorry about all your losses and everything you've been through. Flowers

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 15:26

Sorry forgot to tag @Mumlili9 in my reply.

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 17:39

@msanne hi in my experience with bits left over inside. I've had advice to wait a couple of periods to give my body time to clear its self out. You might find that your next period is heavy and clotty. I'm ready sorry for your loss. Please feel you can stick around for support while you are ttc.

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 17:47

@msanne Sorry for your loss. Are you still getting positive pregnancy tests? I had to have an MVA to remove the last bit of retained placental tissue after my last miscarriage, but it's possible it would have come out with my period if we'd left it. If your HCG has returned to zero or near enough then theoretically you should ovulate and get your period, and that might flush the rest of it out.

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 17:50

@peperethecat thank you for your reply, that's really interesting I might just give it a go this cycle. They gave me a month's supply before I had my surgery so I've got 3 boxes. I might just do it, it can't hurt. My doc will not give me estrogen, I've already asked.
I'm so sorry your possibly going through another loss. Have you ask your doctor for hcg bloods or is that not possible right now

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 17:56

Yes I am having serial betas done. My HCG was 383 on Thursday and 600 this morning (almost 48 hours later). I'm not sure whether that kind of rise is low enough to suggest an ectopic or more likely a uterine pregnancy that isn't developing well. It's far too low given that I should be nearly 6 weeks based on my ovulation date. And because my "period" last week was so heavy I don't understand how an embryo could have survived in my uterus, which makes me suspect it may be somewhere other than my uterus.

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 18:13

Also, do you use the Clearblue Advanced ovulation tests? They're supposed to be able to detect estrogen as well as LH. I was planning on using them this cycle to see if I could detect an estrogen surge, and if not I was going to push my doctor for more blood tests and an ultrasound and maybe the estradiol supplements. But obviously I can't do that now because I got a static smiley on the first day I tried to use them and it turned out I was pregnant. Confused

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 18:51

@peperethecat when I had my ectopic January /February my numbers doubled every 36 hours and I was at over 6000 at 7+4. So I don't know if its ectopic for you with numbers lower you can have a shot and avoid surgery. My numbers were to high. I also bled (spotted) the entire time I was pregnant. I was told at my scan that my lining was 9mm at 7+3 weeks pregnant. I was doing progesterone pessaries then too so I thought it would be much thicker.

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 18:55

@peperethecat I use the clearblue fertility monitor but I never get an estrogen surge until the day before I get a peak. So maybe my estrogen is low but that might be because I'm older and my AMH level is low too

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 19:03

@Mumlili9 How was your ectopic diagnosed, was it by ultrasound? Did you not have one before 7+3?

It sounds like you may have low estrogen if you don't notice much of a surge. As soon as I have a normal cycle again I am going to try again with the Clearblue and see if it can tell me anything.

What is your age and AMH if you don't mind me asking?

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 19:16

@peperethecat I know it was ectopic from 15 dpo due to bleeding and pain but the hospital wouldn't scan me until 6 weeks so had an ultra sound and they found a small sac with a yoke sac in my uterus (baby A but they said I was only measuring 4 weeks but I knew it was all wrong so bugged for another scan 10 days later and that's when they found baby B in my left tube. Baby A hadn't gotten any bigger and baby B was measuring correctly in size and had a heartbeat but my tube was rupturing so I had the baby removed and they cut my tube in half to remove the baby. That tube is useless now but they also punctured my uterus twice removing baby A.

I'm 38 / 39 in September and my AMH is just 5.2 and the minimum is 6 for Ivf treatment at my hospital

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 19:21

It sounds like you've had shockingly bad medical care. What tests have you had done to try and diagnose the reason for your miscarriages?

clitterratti · 19/04/2020 09:15

How is everyone?

@MOGMOGMOG85 How are you?

@BunnytheHoneyBee What have you been watching?

@Mumlili9 I think NHS will have to consider relaxing a bit with the IVF after this lockdown.

@msanne sit with us, we're here for you and each other and I'm the crazy one.

@peperethecat it's such a wild ride, hand holding for whatever the outcome.

Okay ladies, I'm back for another round of 'look at me, I need your attention'.

So both my best friends have now had their babies. Best friend 1 just lost her father yesterday and I am doing a terrible job of being supportive. I can't send her a care package, none of us could go to the funeral as it was in another country (she couldn't either) and I'm close to her mother too..I feel so useless. My other bestie isn't doing well with her new addition and I cannot offer her any help either due to lockdown.

It was my husbands birthday this weekend and I didn't know how to make him feel loved or special. I kind of just burped at him and rolled over whenever he wanted his birthday baby dance with all the extras. (TMI?)

Now, Clear Blue-- what do we all think of these? I've used them twice before (once while ttc dd) I got my static smileys and did the deed accordingly; this past pregnancy I peed on the damn stick when Ovia suggested I was on my highest fertile day and I got a static smiley...

but this cycle, I get a flashing smiley every day and no static smiley. I'm worried. Does this mean my LH is non existent this cycle?

peperethecat · 19/04/2020 10:47

Hello @clitterratti, how many days have you been doing the OPKs?

Isittimeforbubblesyet · 19/04/2020 10:56

Hi ladies, I've been using the Clearblue too (the one that gives 4 days of fertility). Do you use your first wee of the day? All the other opks I've used have said not to use the first but to do it later in the day so I have been confused for a while!

BunnytheHoneyBee · 19/04/2020 11:28

@clitterratti When I was using CB OPKs I had a least one cycle where I didn’t get a static smiley at all but about 9 days of flashing smileys however I used some cheap one step OPKs in between and got a positive so sometimes they just don’t pick up the surge. It doesn’t mean you didn’t have an LH surge or didn’t ovulate. I believe the LH surge happens quite quickly so if you are testing once a day on CB you can simply miss the surge.

Sounds like your friends are having a tough time. I think letting them know you are there for them (particularly the one who lost her dad) to talk etc is really important even if you can’t be there.

I’ve been watching Manifest as season 2 is on and I’m enjoying that. I have a few things to catch up on through - greys anatomy and Killing Eve.

@Isittimeforbubblesyes You should use FMU for the ClearBlue ones. I assume that’s what it says in the instructions. I used clear blue connect but think they all use FMU.

msanne · 19/04/2020 11:33

Thank you ladies for all of your support.

My HCG is normal again and pregnancy tests are negative - so pretty sure my period will come. However, as I am not due any more scans I am worried whether the retained tissue will come out with the period or not (as it didn't budge for the 2 weeks I was bleeding after the termination). The consultant confirmed that whatever is left inside is the same bit that they saw on my first scan which was 4 days after the termination. However, because my blood flow is normal, he doesn't think I need an MVT or a further recan. He told me we could ttc after my next period, but am nervous as I have no way of telling whether the lone bit has come out. I feel fine in myself though so that is a good sign.

I guess we will just see how it goes -thank you so much ladies xoxo

Good luck to us all! x

BunnytheHoneyBee · 19/04/2020 11:36

@msanne I’m sorry about your DD. I lost my DD last year at 40 weeks. She was stillborn. If you’re concerned I’d check with your GP if you don’t have anyone else to speak to like a bereavement midwife or consultant. It might set your mind at rest if nothing else.

msanne · 19/04/2020 15:07

@BunnytheHoneyBee thank you - I think that is probably the most sensible thing to do. I didn't even think about it - so thank you for reminding me :)

So sorry for your loss - I cannot imagine the suffering you must have gone through to carry to term. How are you recovering now? xx

BunnytheHoneyBee · 19/04/2020 15:39

Hi @msanne I’m ok thanks. It was just over a year ago and it was obviously tough. I have been through a lot physically as well as mentally and emotionally. My baby was completely healthy and a great weight so it was a massive shock that she had died the day before my due date. I was on mat leave and had everything ready (washed baby grows and nappies etc). Losing your DD must have been a big shock too. No one expects to be the unlucky one.

I fell pregnant again later last year but had a v early MC so it was just a tough year tbh. I hoped for a better 2020 but couldn’t have predicted what is going on at the moment. It just goes to show anything can happen in life but that can mean good things too!

It’s early days for you so be gentle with yourself. Have you been in touch with Sands or ARC?

Mumlili9 · 19/04/2020 20:38

@peperethecat I think I've had every blood test possible, I'm waiting for internal tests but that's not likely to happen inside of 12 months now.
@clitterratti I use the clearblue fertility monitor with fmu and premom easy@home opks in the afternoon. I find that I get high fertility (flashy face) in the morning on cbfm but a positive easy@home opk in the afternoon and then cbfm picks up the peak the next morning. It is possible for cb to miss your peak so I recommend using a cheaper brand in the afternoon. Its best to test twice a day when your in fw anyway. Some ladies get a really quick surge and others get positive opks for for 2-3 days. I find that bbt is great for confirming I actually ovulated so I know I tried as much as possible and didn't stop to early if you know what I mean.

msanne · 20/04/2020 09:10

@ BunnytheHoneyBee Thanks for sharing - these moments really are the worst times of our lives but one hopes we come out the other end more grateful for our little blessings and hopefully stronger for digigng deep to get through it. I feel your pain!
I haven't spoken to anyone professional about it yet - tbh - the hospital has been so patchy with support (even for delivery we were left to it after the drugs were administered) and the way in which they even informed us something was terribly wrong with our baby (told us at our 12-week scan in passing and told us to go home and wait until Monday for someone to call us). I have been getting the support I need from some close friends and message boards like this. I felt incredibly alone at the start of this, but now feel supported and in a messed up way a sense of relief that others have gone through similar things and made it out the other end - I live for hope!
We brought our little girl home and buried her underneath a cherry blossom tree in our garden so I look out at her every morning and that gives me some peace.

I am aching for another baby, I really want to try, but am so nervous. So taking the advice and being kind to myself and what will be will be in a happy way- fingers crossed!

zoomies1 · 20/04/2020 09:33

Morning all.

For those talking about supplements and lining - have you tried raspberry leaf tea and l'arginine as well as vitamin E?

I'm in the camp with those who have light periods - mine are now maybe 1-2 days and I barely need a liner so this is of interest.

Fun job today - re-booking my cancelled HSG and fertility appointments/blood tests. Wish me luck! I also need to take a pregnancy test tomorrow in the hope that it is negative. I will admit that I have been procrastinating in case it still shows something although I am using the cheapest ones. I just couldn't bring myself to spend £10 for this!.

@msanne sorry to find you here - especially as it has been more complicated then it needed to be. Hope you have resolution soon xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread