TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@TheFoz I really don't know exactly, more than we have or can get hold of I think.
I suppose we just keep going praying for a miracle until I no longer have ovulation. I'm sorry AF got you hun I understand how horrible that feels.

Is anyone else getting f*ed off with seeing the ebay advert. '94 fateful seconds' sounds like it's a huge mistake. If only that's all it took for us. I hate that advert with so much passion 😡 😡

I am mostly a floater and try and keep up with stories but I wanted to say I'm so so sorry to hear what you are going through @Mumlili9, I can't even imagine how your feeling right now :(

@Mumlili9 I've been looking into access fertility - you pay upfront for X amount of ivf cycles and get a refund if unsuccessful which is a horrible thought but also makes it feel affordable. I know our situations are different but I'm hopeful for you ❤️
I think we'll look into private ivf after all this settles down, I can't see our nhs cycle starting anytime soon but hoping that private clinics will get going sooner rather than later.
The ebay advert is shit. I said to dh that's not how digitals work but the whole premise is just crap 😡 😡

Someone I follow on Instagram has had to have medical management today (her 3rd mc in a year) and she's documented her care today and its really scary. Very basic and if she needs surgical it will be under local anesthetic, which is just awful. It's reinforced that for me, although I desperately don't want to stop trying, there is no specialist care and that scares me and I know I need the additional care which just isn't there right now 😔

I hope everyone is OK. This is just shit :( xx

Good lord that sound awful for you friend @VenusStarr. Do you mind me asking how much would you pay upfront

I think it's between £9 and £12k. I've been saving anyway, but am trying to see the silver lining that we can save a bit more and hopefully have some money available when clinics open @Mumlili9

@Mumlili9 I'm so upset to hear about your appointment. I can't believe this happened, but the main thing which upsets me is that no-one told you. You could have gone away and kept trying and trying without knowing what had happened. I hope that the consultant was wrong... the fact they suggested you try for 6 months suggests they're not 100% sure? I know that's not the most helpful thing to say right now but all I know is I've had a lot of different people say different stuff about my fibroids, one guy was all doom and gloom but in the end I realised he didn't know what he was doing. I don't know what to say except I am so so sorry for your whole long difficult heartbreaking journey you have gone through. Please keep posting in here and leaning on us :( xxx

Hi @TheFoz I'm sorry for your period arriving :( I could be there with you any day now. 3 months is nothing though, try to hold out hope! If you were pregnant before it's vastly most likely you'll be pregnant again. thats what i keep telling myself after trying for 16 months that first time and now 7 since the miscarriage xxx

@Hayleylou89 @Mumlili9 I don't have the test any more, but before I threw it away I washed it with water as I read that can wash away an evap? and the line stayed. I am still aware it could all be a big false alarm though as of course you can't read a test hours after you took it. I'm just desperate and clutching at straws. I'll know the truth either way very very soon

Had a thought to day - the positive of AF arrives is I can try my new menstrual cup that I ordered from Amazon last month 😬

@BunnytheBee I have one it's great once you figure it out. Advice lube it up the first time.

Thanks @Mumlili9, I didn’t think of that! If it works, I won’t have to worry about buying buying sanitary products during lockdown!

@BunnytheBee I had a bad experience with the moon cup, basically I kept it clean and hygienic, boiled it after my period etc but I kept getting thrush infections. At the time I also had the copper coil and one nurse told me it was more likely with the both of them so hopefully you'll be fine! I use period pants now as they're external and they work really well. However I'd prefer the moon cup so I hope it works out for you!

I have news - I did another test this morning and it was a fat stonking bfp. It's such positive news that I can get pregnant again as I was giving up all hope! For anyone who's been trying for a long time it took me 16 months to fall the first time, and 7 months the second and it's felt like an eternity. I'm trying not to think too far into the future, not to worry about miscarrying again etc, I'm just focussing on "I'm pregnant, I can be pregnant".

I actually feel really emotional to have to break the news here as I know some of you are going through such a hard time, and in particular you @Mumlili9, I am just so heartbroken for you at the moment :'(

I hope that everyone else gets their positive news soon, and I hope I'm able to stay off this thread for a while and don't end up back here, but if I do have to go through that it makes me feel so much better knowing that you wonderful women will be here for me.

I'm feeling very emosh right now but sending lots of love to everyone xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 First of all congrats on your BFP! I wish you a healthy pregnancy xx

Thanks for the tips on the cup. I got this one as it had good reviews and was a bit cheaper. I’d consider period pants too for lighter days. Which ones have you used?

@MOGMOGMOG85 that's amazing news hun. Don't feel bad about tell us that's the point of this thread xx your welcome to hang out with us here for a bit or you can jump over to the sister thread below

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3835015-pregnant-after-loss-and-dreaming-of-rainbows-2

Thanks everyone. I have joined the other group but might skulk around here for a while too as actually even seeing baby scans is giving me anxiety (such a snowflake!!!)

@BunnytheBee www.fluxundies.com/products/flux-bikini these are the ones I use. They are great, fit well, look good. I have a medium flow I'd say but it can be heavy at the start, and I can wear these all day even on my heaviest day. They somehow keep the moisture locked down so it doesn't feel too gross!

Thanks @MOGMOGMOG85

I’m navigating day 1 with my cup BTW... I’ve had a leak but it was my first go so we’ll see...

@BunnytheBee oh I'm sorry your af arrived xx

Thanks @MOGMOGMOG85 It’s ok. I knew it was coming and trying to work out new menstrual cup has made it slightly more interesting! 😬

@MOGMOGMOG85 delighted for you! Congratulations! I sincerely hope everything goes smoothly

Thank you @TheFoz - you will get your bfp too xx these things take time and just be kind to yourself in the mean time xxx

Does anyone else have periods where it just seems to bother them more - period pains, low mood, feeling exhausted and weak? I don’t always feel this way so not sure if I’m coming down with something

@BunnytheBee yes hun I often feel like that. More so after the 2nd mc.

CONGRATULATIONS @MOGMOGMOG85!!!! I am so happy to hear your news, It lifts our spirits and encourages us all to keep going.

@BunnytheBee just on day 8 of AF which is irritating because it had stopped yesterday for a bit and I thought it was over. It's my first AF after my postpartum bleeding which lasted a bit over a month. You are a strong one with this cup business. She swears by them, I honestly wouldn't be able to get it in the right position without bleeding all over my hand/arms so I just wear giant pads the size of mattresses...and I waddle around like a big fat weird penguin. I'm quite tragic like this.

My best friend (who I had timed my pregnancy with) is a master with moon cups and coincidentally will be delivering her baby tomorrow. Our boys were supposed to be best friends. I want to be happy for her. I also want to be 8 months pregnant like I was supposed to be.

@mumlili9 I agree with the other posters, it's your body and you should have been informed asap. Also, incineration shouldn't have happened if they lost a form, they should have contacted you and redone the form on the phone.

@VenusStarr I am glad that you are following through with a plan, and that you planned to have a plan. It gives me something to consider.

Love to you all. I wish everyone a bfp in the coming months.

Not just me thenn @Mumlili9 Hope you’re ok!

@clitterratti Oh it’s so tough. I’ve been thinking so much about how DD should be here and how different life would be. I think having more time at home doesn’t help with that. Will you see your friend’s baby? I have a friend who was pregnant same time as me and had her baby less than a month after I had DD. I was fine with seeing her etc And made a real effort to show her that but friend was a bit of a rubbish friend and caught up in her own issues so I don’t really see her now.

My periods are not that heavy these days. Not sure if that’s something to worry about. They used to be five days and heavier. About 5 years ago they changed a bit. Now they’re about 3 days but then it’s only since I started tracking properly that I realised the difference between spotting and AF. That might sound silly but in the past I’d have considered AF had arrived when I started spotting so maybe that’s why I thought they were five days...

I do like that the cup is reusable and you can keep it in for 12 hours etc.

Hope everyone is ok 💕

So my best best friend gave birth the week before I had the stillbirth; and now this friend will have her darling little boy tomorrow.

...I will have to love both these babies like I had planned to. Both of my friends and I had planned to get pregnant and have our kids around the time because we wanted our kids to be close and go to the same schools. I suppose I can't do much about any of this at this point. Both of these girls are very dear to me and have been part of my life for well over two decades. One chose to move to London to be close to me and the other was here until she married my husbands best friend. She is planning to move back to London as soon as lockdown is over. She was supposed to move back on March 15th.

My little sister (29) is trying to get pregnant soon too, and I know she is just waiting for me to announce my pregnancy before she gets a bfp.

My entire life, I am always the really unfortunate one. I hate this. I am lucky to have dedicated friends and family but the fact that my loved ones always feel they have to tiptoe around me.