TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@VenusStarr honestly I don't know. I assumed the heavy bleeding last Saturday was the mc happening and I was really annoyed with myself but happy it was happening naturally. But since then I've spotted brown stuff every day. I still have strong pregnancy symptoms (I've never experienced this before, I've Always lost them before finding out about a mc). I'm still stupidly testing because of these symptoms and my tests are still blazing positive (I assumed they would be starting to get lighter by now considering how low my hcg numbers were). So now I think I have retained products so not the natural mc I was hoping for. I really don't want a d&c, or medical management ( it's awful it makes me so poorly) but my body doesn't let go on its own never has. Last time I waited over 3 weeks and nothing happened. But the last time I had medical management I ended up really anemic and the gushing gives me nightmares for months after, not to mention and vomiting and diarrhea that I also get. I'm feeling very inadequate and useless right now. I've got another scan Monday to check my uterus is clean but I know it won't be. I can't have time off work ( I also haven't told the owner of the shop I manage because she is anti kids and has no sympathy and treated me last time like crap - I know legally she can't do that but in the real world she can) so ill have to try and arrange the treatment around my shifts which means not until a week on Monday. The whole thing is dragging out so long it's really pulling me down. I bet you wish you hadn't asked now lol xx

@VenusStarr @Mumlili9 yes that's pretty much it. They do two biopsies if either is raised they say you need prednisolone and I think they prescribe progesterone regardless I think. They sent me a protocol to take back to my local doctor which combined the steroids and other APS treatments.

The biopsy is a little unpleasant but only takes about 20-30 seconds to complete. The biopsy is a treatment in itself as it's an endometrial scratch that helps to regenerate the cells in the lining.

I will never know what worked but I feel it was definitely £540 well spent.

If either of you want to DM me your email happy to share the clinic PowerPoint they send out, and my results and stuff so you see what you get

@VenusStarr a few weeks to go. Still very anxious it never goes away 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Sorry for chipping in the convo. I think of all you ladies regularly, and still read the thread, as I was on here about 18 months and will always be grateful for the support I received xxx

@JuniperAndRose my charts are all over the place hun sometimes I get a good rise and sometimes it's so slow I think I haven't ovulated. I read that it can take up to 72 hours after a positive opk to ovulate and another 72 hours after that to get a temp rise due to lower progesterone. Keep dtd and if possible keep doing opks and temp. It might just be that your body tried and it didn't happen but it might try again later and you will just have a longer cycle this time

@fnej01 and @VenusStarr thanks for that information. Do you have to stop trying while these test are done. Other than while mcing in the last 3 years I've never taken time off ttc. The very thought of missing an egg (chance) gives me so much anxiety I can't even describe it.

Oh year just heard back from gynaecology about when my hysteroscopy will be and they told me May I'm so fed up of all this waiting but we're not well off enough to pay privately. I really just don't know where to turn now.

@Mumlili9 I wonder if there's still a chance things are OK? How far along should you be now? I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but maybe there is still some hope? Keeping everything crossed that if you did miscarry last week that it's all complete, but still hoping that things work out xxx
I'm sorry your boss is unsupportive too ❤️

Thank you @fnej01, I'd be interested to see, will message you :) this is giving me renewed hope.
Completely understand that you're still anxious, sending you lots of love xx

Gah, just done an opk and it's getting darker again... We dtd yesterday and when my opk goes positive, I tend to ovulate that day. So might be ovulating tomorrow... Hmm 🤔 I've pretty much decided that we should stop ttc this cycle now, so guess there's a minimal chance this cycle but that's OK. Feels odd wishing to not be pregnant but now I have this plan, I just want to do that.

Yes @Mumlili9 you have to not ttc for 2 cycles. I've attached a screenshot of my email. I completely understand your anxiety at missing the egg / opportunity. I am viewing it as me trying to take some control back and if it shows something that can be treated then we'll be in a good position moving forward. I guess if everything comes back clear, that's a risk that we wasted 2 months but at least we'll know it's not an issue, if you see egat I mean? It's a very personal decision though.

I'm sorry to hear about your hysteroscopy. Maybe you'll be able to get a cancellation? X

@VenusStarr wow that's a difficult decision. I admire your resolve x I'm apparently 7 weeks today (using ovulation dates) if I don't count the bleed as mc.
@fnej01 yes please I will message you x

Happy Valentines day to you all 🌹
My husband surprised me with a lovely card today even though we weren't doing Valentines this year due to me being moody needless to say it made me cry alot.

I really don't want to give you false hope @Mumlili9 but I think there is a chance for you 🙏 especially them seeing the sac last time. You have short cycles like me so if you went by last period things would be slightly out. Equally I know it might not be helpful for you to think about hope and things working out but you are in my thoughts ❤️❤️

How lovely of your dh. I feel like dh and I have really got closer through this :)

@VenusStarr thank you for your kind words but I find that hope is dangerous territory for me x they found a 2mm by 2mm sack which is 4weeks just by ovulation dates but I was 5+4 so very much off dates wise. If it was to be OK I would have had to conceived at 7dpo but as I temp I know that's not possible. I think DH is grasping on to this article he read about late implantation but he forgets I got a positive at 12 dpo which if I was a week out on ovulation that would have been a positive at 5dpo (not possible me thinks)

I totally get that @Mumlili9 I have definitely driven myself crazy trying to find the one story where things have a happy ending. X

@Mumlili9 I'm so so sorry you are going through this, you honestly don't deserve any of it.

I just came back on to say I've read your latest posts and it sounds horribly like my MC at this time last year. I had bleeding but then they saw a sac - a 2.3mm "mass" and my HCG kept increasing. Sadly for us it was retained products - it's so cruel how the body can hold on and give you false hope like that. I debated whether to post the above but my doctor convinced me it was all OK because my HCG was rising again and the false hope was utterly utterly crushing. I have everything crossed that it's all OK for you, I really do. Xx

@Mumlili9 have been following your story so just wanted to say that I've been thinking of you and hoping for the best. After my second miscarriage I had retained products over a week on, I had an acupuncture session to try to get things moving and it worked as I passed them naturally the following day. I'm not sure if you've tried or considered acupuncture but I would definitely say it is worth it. I've been having sessions for 9 months now and it definitely helped my cycles, my miscarriage process and - hopefully - is helping to support my pregnancy now (though I'm still very much in my 'danger zone')

Wishing all of you all of the best xxx

@mumlilli9 @venusStarr I did take a few months off of trying to conceive for my diagnostics. From recollection you need to be not trying to conceive the months you have the biopsy and I think you need to be a cycle at least post miscarriage or something like that.
I completely understand anxiety about not trying and missing a good egg though, I was exactly the same, although I think in the end it did me good mentally I think. I got married whilst we weren't trying so kept myself distracted on positive things, it was still hard but helped me cope. I have realised on this journey that the only person that can decide what's right for you is you. Xx

@JuniperAndRose I’ve had the same thing this cycle! I had my peak predicted with my app actually occur one day early. Then even though I picked it up with opk. I usually see my temp drop but this cycle only a little. Like 3/10th a point. Then it took 4 days for my temp to rise so I guess I didn’t actually ovulate for 2 days later? I’m not sure! But I’m god I finally went up because I was thinking this is anovulatory cycle. I say keep waiting hopeful for you the temp will go up

@frillyfarmer thanks hun x did your mc resolve its self and how long did it take. They said mine was a cystic sac in the lining, lining measures 9mm. Was this what yours was like. Also how much bleeding did you have. Sorry for all the questions. I've not had a mc like this one. I've had multiple extremely early mc and multiple mmc but this one is totally different. I'm not sure what to expect or what to do. I know if this is not a viable pregnancy I want it over as soon as possible though.

@Mumlili9 they saw a sac on the initial scan, they didn't say where it was, just that it was a week behind my dates (which I knew were right) and they tried to fob me off with late implantation etc. I bled bright red for four days, much like a period, quite heavy and I thought that was that. I then tracked that cycle and when I started OPKs they were blazing positive. After three days of positive OPKs I took an HPT which was a strong positive, so went back to GP. I was confused as at the consultation after the scan I'd had an almost negative HPT so I knew my HCG levels must be rising. They took bloods over five days and they were doubling, so booked in for another scan.
Scan couldn't see anything this time, no sac, I was sad but not surprised. When the consultant made me do another HPT after the scan and it came back blazing positive, he got someone else to scan me again the same appointment, this time they worked at it for about 40 minutes and found a small retainer product - too small for surgery but large enough to cause my hormones to build. I waited another two weeks before I started to bleed again, much lighter this time. I've just looked back at my diary - I started bleeding on 17th Jan and I finally got my BFN on 2nd March. It was the earliest out of all my MCs but drawn out the longest. I really hope if it is the worst news for you, that it passes quickly. The waiting is just the worst, I'm so sorry you're still waiting for your rainbow xxx

@Mumlili9 your boss sounds awful. Any chance of a job change?

@avocadoincident not really where I live it's a small town and jobs are (excuse the expression) dead man's shoes

@Avocuddles how do you get fertility acupuncture? I asked an osteopath and she said she didn't know..

@Mumlili9 I'm thinking of you

@venusstarr keep us updated when you go for your test. I'm really hoping this could be an answer for you.

I have my scan tomorrow - finally finding out where my fibroids are, how big, and whether they project into the womb or not... wish me luck. Interestingly my fibroids are (I think) 5-7cm which my consultant yesterday classified as "medium" - I've always been told they are "large" so "medium" is a great label as far as I'm concerned.

@Avocuddles - where about do they give you the acupuncture - is it in your belly? Sorry - clueless but very interested to give it a try! At least it's at the cheaper end of things to try!

@MOGMOGMOG85 google zita west acupuncture and you can find a list of practitioners across the country who specialise in fertility. I go to a clinic in leeds which focuses primarily on women's issues so the ladies there are very knowledgable and sympathetic - the walls are lined with books on fertility, pregnancy and miscarriage. The first half of the session involves talking and understanding your situation, your cycles etc and the second half involves relaxing for around half hour with needles that have been put in place tailored to your particular needs. The majority are in the lower leg and the stomach but I've had them in wrist, ears and the top of my head too! It took me a year to conceive naturally the first time, I started acupuncture immediately after my first loss and have since fallen pregnant twice more within nine months - it's impossible to say if the acupuncture has contributed to that but similarly it's impossible to say that it hasn't! Its not cheap if you go regularly but I signed up to a 'medicash' scheme which enabled me to claim back 50% of the cost which worked out pretty well financially, especially as I could also claim back dental and optical under the same scheme. I would definitely say that (other than the money) there's nothing to lose and there are many, many success stories that suggest it's worth a try.....

@Avocuddles unfortunately my horrific fear of needles might get in the way of that. You should how long I have to sit in the chair crying before they can take a blood test lol I'm such a baby

@Mumlili9 my husband is crippled with fear of needles and it's horrific.
But you can do it as it's worth it in the end.

@Mumlili9 I used to be like that but then I had deep vein thrombosis which meant lots and lots of blood tests. I have to inject myself daily now with blood thinners for the duration of pregnancy - I honestly thought I'd never manage but when it comes to it you do learn (even if there are quite a few tears to start with....). If you ever find yourself prescribed enoxaparin / clexane then I can share plenty of tips...... in terms of acupuncture the best way is to try not to think of needles at all - they're incredibly thin and if you're lying down for the treatment there's no need to see any of them at all. I was very nervous initially but in the first session the acupuncturist literally just stuck a couple in (whilst I laid down with my eyes closed and fists clenched!) then took them out a couple of minutes just to see how I coped. Other than a slight tingle sometimes you don't really feel much.

My top tip for blood tests again is to tell the nurse that you don't want to see the needle, stick your arm out and then focus as hard as you can on something on the opposite wall! When I was about 18 I refused to let them take blood from and they had to call my mum at work to come pin me down! 😂