TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

[hedgepig]

Hi Rowingboat sorry to hear about the early mc, but I suppose it is a good sign that you can conceive. I'm on cd19 hopeful as ever , I'm in 2 mind about this month to be honest my ds is a "very end of august" baby and working out dates, if I did get pg it would be 1st week of Sept. Not sure if another Aug baby is the best idea, although he has settled at school well. Also I have been getting into the festive spirit a bit too much!

[Rowingboat]

Thank you Hedgepig! I don't feel so bad now. It certainly helps to be able to post here, because I think you guys understand how I feel.
I'm not telling anyone at the moment, so it's nice to do this.
This morning I phoned my doctors for the results of my day three blood test, I think it was LH (can't spell the real words) and FSH and the results were normal range for cycle (or words to that effect)? That's it! I'm sure I will get a bit more information when we eventually get the fertility appointment. I'm not sure this is my GP's 'bag'. She is very pleasant, but I don't think she is up on the details of the test, very vague. She did say 'Good luck with it!' to me.
Poor old DH now has to produce sperm samples and then rush them to the hospital labs. Hee hee!!
I will be picking up the containers and instructions tomorrow from the doctors surgery.
Still have to buy a couple of Christmas presents as well. Ho hum!

[Nancy66]

Hi Rowing Boat
As an older TTC'er I'd advise you to get a print out of your blood test results from your GP and not just take their word for it that everything is ok.

I'm not being pessimistic - I'm sure your results are fine but, as you say, a lot of GPs are not too clued up on this and often tell you things are ok when they are not or are borderline.

A friend who is TTC (and at 28 she is still very young) was told all was hunky dory with her results but on closer examination it revealed that her progesterone was low and her FSH was elevated for a woman in her 20s

[hedgepig]

Hi thanks Nancy.

Ladies I'm not a royal type person but I am quite cheered up today that Sophie Wessex has had a baby @ 42 (And I checked her birthday and she will be 43 in Jan).

[Rowingboat]

Hi there, I don't have great faith in the GP, she doesn't really seem to have the foggiest idea about TTC.
For example, when I went to see her for the results of the day 21 progesterone test, she told me 'It all looks good, your oestrogen levels are nice and high???' EH?!
We are on the waiting list for the fertility clinic at our local hospital, so that will shed more light on things. They quoted around 16 weeks until we got an appointment, and that was about 8 or 9 weeks ago, so fingers crossed for that.
Oh and the daft GP forgot to give the surgery reception the, er, receptacles, for poor old DP. So basically that is 'that' until after Christmas, because we will be away over the Christmas period.
I don't think I'm pg, but it's annoying because I won't know when they are passing round the wine at Christmas Dinner. Hmm!'Blooming TTC!
Oh and yes Hedgepig, that is comforting about Sophie W, did she have an assistance do you think? Oh and what a hoot, it was the only the second royal baby born to the NHS. So she wasn't doing the daft, tummy tuck thing.
Is anyone starting to feel festive yet??

[hedgepig]

I am very festive, jiggle bells on the cd, just made the mince pies, drinking (in moderation bugger it! I have been ttc since Jan and I need a drink), all the pressies wrapped. My little boy is 4 and so he is mega hyped up and really understanding understanding Santa.

Pity about the doc, is there another gp in the practice that is more sussed? My practice has 4 docs but I will only see 2 of them. My gp said the hormones were OK, DH is proving very difficult to persuade to have any test. I think our problem is not enough sex, we are both tired a lot of the time so it is hard to get motivated. so we are working on that

Sophie W may have some help she had a previous eptopic, but must be her own eggs or wouldn't that do strange things to the succession?

[Rowingboat]

I hadn't thought of that! Oo er! I meant the succession thing. I clearly need more sleep.
You do sound as if you are getting into the whole thing, making mince pies Hedgepig. Not there myself yet! But I have finished work now, so it might sink in.
I was thinking I should see another GP, but do you think it is worth it when I have the clinic appointment coming up? There are some GPs I would rather not see at my surgery. One is like your old headmistress, right old dragon. DP refuses to see her as well, after she gave him a telling off because I had made his appointment on his behalf, not he for himself. 'Is there any reason why you didn't phone yourself?' very peremptory!
The TV is so rubbish tonight, I have a terrible film on called 'Minotaur' it's not very good.

[christie1]

I am 44 and pregnant (4 months). I had a baby at 41 (also babies in my thirties). I have had 2 miscarriages in my 40's at about 8 weeks and one possibly much earlier but not quite sure ab out that one. Just had my scan this month and all is well with the baby as much as they can tell on a scan (have not had any other testing). Good luck all, it is possible.

[jennykb]

Congratulations Christie! And thank you for your post. You have given me much needed (if a bit misplaced!) hope!

[lilibet]

I'm getting quite down about trying and Christmas has made it even worse.

Dh and I haven't mentioned it for a few weeks, the pressure of weeing on bloody sticks everyday was getting to me and I knew that if by some bloody miracle I wa ovulating we would both be too tired to have sex.

There are in law issues which alwasy come to a head at Christmas and which really upset me, money is tight at Christmas so I think about how we would manage another person on our money.

Every so often over the past few weeks when I have felt busy and overworked I have wondered how much worse it wouold be with less money and a crying baby (in these scenarios the baby is alwasy crying!!)

I would give alsomst anythign to be younger so that I could have a rest from it all, but I'm 45 in May and I can't have a break from it.

I don't know how long to carry on with this - how do you know when to stop? When is too old? I wanted to still be in my forties when it started school but that isn't going to happen now.

I don't want dh to be uspet, this morning I brought it up and he aid imagine looking back in years to come and saying that we didn't do it becasue of somehting stupid like the inlaws or money.

Sorry - long and ranting post!!

Christie - congrats!!!

[hedgepig]

Hi Lilibet, sorry to hear you are so glum I sorry Christmas can bring out all of the stresses rather than being relaxing for you. It all just gets too much some time, sometimes I thnik it may be better to stop trying and juts relax, but we are also so tried that if I wasn't focusing on potential conception days I think we wuould just not bother to have sex.

At the moment I'm having pre-period craps but deluding myself that is my womb being really active after implantation, FFS I'm an intelligent woman I know it is not true but can't stop myself.

[babyjane67]

its ok i found it!lol some v inspirational&uplifting stories giving me even more hope.what is agnus cactus&is it easy2get hold of?will also try2get taking charge of fertility book.have2dds of21&18 but my dp&i r trying4no3!have had3mcs last1being in aug07@7wks but am not giving up hope no way!!!good luck2all of us!

[babyjane67]

4got2say i'll be41in june&dp will be43in feb!lol

[hedgepig]

welcome babyjane, there are some very positive stories here it will happen for us in 2008 I'm sure.

[Sandiesx]

I love your positive attitude babyjane - pls feel free to pass some over in this direction. The January blues have set in, with the usual fears - will I ever get pg again? Have I lost my last chance? Can I afford the childcare? (I have a 2yr old Grandson that I am paying for (nursey that is) aswell)Underlying all this is the fear that it won't happen and I will become a bitter old crone.
DH has agreed to try for a year only. After that I think I will need to move onwards and upwards and just get on with other things.
Lilibet - I hope you feel better and I hope that you know you are not on your own x
Lovely to see you Hedgepig. I hope you're right.

[hedgepig]

wocha sandies, I'm a bit down to be honest have lovely egg white CM but DH has horrendous cold and any physical exertion brings on a coughng fit so not much chance of bding. Another month nearer 42 ho hum. I'm thinking about stopping ttc cos it is sending me nuts but the idea of not having another child just breaks my heart.
Don't worry about childcare, something will work out. If your GS is 2 now he would be 3 or near about by the time you had a baby when you conceive (positive vibes) and then you get some help with funding for 5 sessions which makes a difference. Going to dose DH with cough mixture !!!

[Sandiesx]

Dose him up girl!! When are you 42? I have until July. I don't notice my temps, cm, ovulation pain etc as I am obviously not in tune with my body. Could this be why I am not yet pg? I thought sore boobs were a sure sign of impending BFP and read yesterday that it is - but only if your AF is late. Back to the drawing board of signs and symptoms then...
Cheer up chick, I totally agree that the idea of not having another is a heartbreaking thought. When we became legal guardians for GS we realised we have soooo much love to give. Chrismas was very special this year. Lets not give up xx

[christie1]

lilbet, I hate to sound like a cliche but I agnonized for another baby after the m/c at 42 and dh was not keen on another. I felt that time was up by 43 even though we were not trying, I kept hoping an accident would happen and I would get pregnant. Then, I went back to school and moved on emotionally (with some regret of course) but really had made that peace (plus I do have a large family already so it made it much easier). Any way, like I have heard so many say, when I gave up really stressing over it and had decided to move on, bingo, I ended up pregnant. I know this is all easy for me to say but I do remember the panic and agony. All I can say is don't give up the dream just yet, odds are against us old gals, but not impossible either. My grandmother had a healthy baby at 46 and a friend told me her cousin is pregnant at 47. But at the same time, be open to other opportunities for yourself too by it jobs, travel, school or even adoption, who knows what is around the corner. I hope this time next year you are posting on this site about how you are a 45 year old pregnant woman!

[Sandiesx]

Hope you're feeling brighter Hedgepig x Am thinking of you and sending out happy vibes and positivity x

[hedgepig]

Hi Sandiesx (like the X by the way). I am more cheery today the cough mixture worked so we have some hope this month, hurrah. I have only known aboiut teps, mucus etc for a couple of moths cos I bought the "taking charged of your fertility book" which is very good, i would recommend it if you have tome to read it DGS must keep you busy. Obvious I though buying the book would be the magic that made me conceive but not yet. My other changes in the hope of increasing my chances are I have given up coffee and drinking (well I have manged 3 days any way)!!

[Sandiesx]

I gave up smoking!! Well done for the caffeine refusal - I have given up sugar in my coffee... I'm really glad you're cheerful and ...hopeful. What CD are you? I'm CD22 - tired, crampy and expecting AF within the week as, sadly, all the signs are there.
DGS is a handful - sometimes it's esier to manage my lively Year 10 than him

[hedgepig]

wow well done on giving up smoking I am very impressed. Two is so tricky you think they understand what you want cos they have developed some language but they don't really, my boy is 4 now and so much more straight forward to deal with (bribary and corruption is the way to go)
I'm still on tea I need some stimulation and nettle tea is not enough!. On CD12 think I have OVed cos my boobs hurt which is something I have found out since I have been paying attention to my cycles. To the earlier question I am 42 in June so we are both summer babies a fine vintage the summer of '66 :-)

[Sandiesx]

A ttc cosmic twin then DGS is confused at the moment and insistant on calling me mummy after a year of calling me mama(mamar as it used to be, short for grandma) His friends have mummies so he's decided I'm his.I keep referring to myself as grandma but his mind is made up!
Bribery and corruption are the only tools needed to bring up a child, an excellent idea x
I gave up smoking in June - after 26 years and it was easier than I thought tbh. Would find giving up tea too hard - you're very brave.

[hedgepig]

little lamb pie, I think when they have changes they just find there own way through things. You may find that as he gets older he will go back to grandma or Sandies
When my ds was born I was all not sweeties, biscuits etc Now I have a stash of choccie buttons for emergency bribery needs. Must go and get some sleep.

[wigan]

Hello, would like to join your thread. I'm 41 have DS (age 2) & have been ttc for around a year. Got BFP 2 weeks ago but terrified about possibility of m/c due to my age