TTC for the Over 40s

[birthdaycake]

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

hi rowingboat, u lucky thing being at home. i am home now, DS is having his dinner and i am...online!

it is so cold here too, i cant wait for summer to come. are you in the UK? i am in london.

bought a couple of first response test kits today. AF due 2moro...

I'm in Edinburgh, and it has been really nice until about three days ago. Hope it picks up soon. I bought some cheapie tests on Ebay and did try one about 10 days past ov of course it was negative.
Now I think this is day three of the next time, but I think this is the side that is blocked? Must look into that. I can't remember which side the doctor said, but I can ask him to refresh my memory tomorrow.
Really must get out of the house, I'm going a bit nuts now.

just remembered that i promised to tell you about my operation when i was 5 months preg with DS.

well, i got preg the first month. i had lots of abdominal pains and went to see the doc and then she said that i got this huge fibroid that was the size of a 4 month pregnancy. she told me that the fibroid will eventually die off, but the process is very painful. all settled until i was about 12 weeks and woke up with excruciating pain. off to the hospital then. was in and out of hospital for the next 2 months. by the time i was 5 months, my specialist got a 2nd opinion and they said that surgery is required as it is more dangerous to leave the fibroid than to have the surgery. but in the end, it was our decision. we decided to go for the surgery. as it turned out it was not a fibroid after all, it was a tumour that was on myleft ovary. the size was 9"x10".
it was a terrible experience but i survived it and so did my DS!

now i only have 1 ovary and hoping that
AF do not get me tomorrow!

Rowingboat, is one of your tubes blocked? how long have u been ttc?

Hi again, just got back from seeing our (creepy) fertility doc. I told him we would go for one IVF cycle, but that would be the limit for us financially. He said he wouldn't unblock the other tube because it was too damaged. Which is strange, because he did say it was an option when I had the HSG? He said if we didn't want to go down the IVF route, we could try fertility drugs, but he didn't think they would make much difference, as there weren't any obvious hormone type problems for me.
So there we are. I said we would need 6 months to save the money, but I will be summoned to the IVF clinic in about a month for a grilling.
I hope we get pregnant before all this rubbish starts.
Heron, that sounds very scarey, I had a 'massive' (their term) fibroid with DS, but it wasn't sinister, just bulky. How stressful that must have been to endure.
Still have a working tube, but this month I think is the dodgy side, but we will have a go anyway.
I think we really started to properly TTC last Spring/Summer, before that we were very random about bding, because I work at nights and DP does athletic training the other nights. Even now, it is a problem for us to find time around the most fertile period, plus I find it difficult to get into the whole thing when the pressure is on. I hate that whole OK it's day 14 GO!!!!

Don't quite qualify to join, but only by a smidgen... currently 39, 40 later this yr. Ds 2.11, trying now for #2 almost 2 yrs, 2 mc (both autumn) - 1st time took a long time for things to settle down and very concerned that mp (which I had following mc prior to ds) was returning - so have managed to get referred to the recurrent mc unit. At least that way I can get lots of early scans without having to see Doctor and try to get them to refer me.

Prior to ds we twice got to the top of the NHS IVF list, and both time got bfp just before appointment to set the actual day of starting treatment - for ds got the bfp 3 days before that appointment, so certainly cutting it fine.

Dh not helping matters by not being that actively involved in promoting bfp - which never helps!

Wondering about the adoption route too. We would have done that if had 2nd mp. But also wondering about settling for just one, particularly as he seems to be such a handful at times. I do hope that he is being a bit better behaved at nursery today

Hi, I'm just getting my head round trying for no. 2., so thought I would join you (if I may) as you make me feel less of a geriatric!!

Me 40 (turn 41 in 3 months). DS 9Mths. Took me 2 years to get pg with DS after 1 MC at 18mths.

We're going to start trying from May, but I've forgotten all the stuff you can take to increase CM etc, etc. Are any of you doing that?

Sorry, think my message was confusing. Took me 2 years in total (including a MMC (8 weeks) at the 18mth mark.

Does that make more sense??

hi all, welcome juicy, i am not taking anything to increase cm. taking zita west vitamins though. have u heard of pre-seed? it is a sperm friendly lubricant. but usually during fertile period, there is quite a lot of cm already

just looked at the calendar again and realised that last feb had 29 days, so really AF was due today instead of tomorrow.
and she is not here...yet!

Fingers crossed for you ohjoy.

I've only had one period since stopping breastfeeding 6 weeks ago, so I've no idea what my cycle is. It used to be 29/30 days, so AF should turn up this w/e. I'm not expecting a BFP this time (twould be a miracle - only BD'd once since last AF and that was last week!!)

are you going to track your cycle? i use clearblue fertility monitor and this is our first cycle ttc #2!

Last time I was trying I did OV sticks. I think I spent about 100 squid before giving in to the fact they didn't work for me, so I'm hoping my cycle goes back to 29/30 days and we will try to BD every other day, days 11 - 18 (ish).

Don't do tracking. Just try to jump dh at appropriate times, sometimes more success than others

i kind of agree with mistlethrush, tracking is quite stressful, DH finds it stressful as well

I think you're probably right, but my DH works away (2wks out of 5), so we've only got a 50% chance at the best of times, which is why I thought I'd do the same as last time.
Having said that we've decided to just wait until our holiday in May and that will be sort of the right time, so I think we'll just BD as and when the mood takes us while we're there.
I am such a control freak and I am paniking about it taking so long again, wish I could just chill out

Hi JLtoo and Mistlethrush! Welcome to the thread. My DS is on holiday from nursery for the next couple of weeks, and was driving me up the wall earlier. Refused to go out, but insisted on clumping around making loud fire engine noises. Arrgh!
Ooo! Ohjoy. Let's hope you graduate from this thread soon.
re the CM thing, I am taking 1 evening primrose oil capsule up until ovulation, I think the measurement is 500mg. I read that it was better to take 1000mg, but I find it affects my mood if I take more than the 500. EPO is supposed to increase CM and also improve the lining of the uterus. I also take raspberry leaf which is supposed to tone the uterus, thought I needed all the help I could get at my age.
You can take cough medicine for CM - I bought a Tesco kids cough mixture for 1.98 or something and it contained gaufenisen or whatever it's called and I found that taking a couple of spoons a day there was a definite impact. Mind you it gave me a runny nose and played up my sinuses, so I knocked that on the head after a couple of cycles.
Not sure if it helps, but I've been taking fish oils, not sure about the CM effect, but at least my brain will work.

i think AF got me...

only a light flow, can see it when i wipe.

boobs still very sore - usually when AF comes boobs go back to normal

anyway, so i did a hpt and it is -ve

so i think that is the answer really.

a bit disappointed, cos i got myself all excited

Sorry Heron 23 AF sucks. I've only had one after 18mths without and I can tell you I really didn't miss it.

Gaufanesin (sp?) - I took that too last time. I'd forgotten about the odd cough medicine thingy. Might give that a go too. Will wait a couple of cycles to see what happens.

I've got some EPO left over from the last time, so I may as well take it before it runs out of date!

I need to take the fish oils for my knees anyway - but it can't hurt in the TTC stakes.

i am going to order some pre-seed this time. i read that it helps the little swimmers go to where they are supposed to !

Sorry Heron

some of you mentioned adoption - I'm adopted.

Feel free with any questions if you wnat to hear about it form the other side!

thanks lilibet, i am starting to get over it

i have thought about adopting, so what is it like from the child's point of view?

I suppose it's different for every child but for me it's fine, my mum and dad are MY mum and dad, I've known about it since I was very tiny, I have never not known.

I've never wanted to trace anyone either - I don't think that they are connected to me in any way, I have parents with whom I am settled and happy

the only thing that has ever upset me is other people's rections - I hate people talking about my 'natural' parents' - my mum and dad are pretty natural, thank you! Or another is 'real' parents - are you saying that my parents are imaginary??

HTH

people can be so insensitive sometimes!

throwaway comments like "natural" parents

it is always lovely to hear successful adoption stories

are you ttc now?

i dont mean right now

i mean this cycle

Hello all

I too am considering adoption. We've had our first interview, and it was all moderately positive. However, I'm finding it v hard to give up the idea of having my own... At the risk of boring those who've heard my history before, I'm 42, have been pg four times in the past three years, but lost them all to miscarriage. Quite late MCs, too. It's now been a year since I last conceived.

So... on to adoption. I genuinely do want to give a child a loving home, but I'm really struggling with voluntarily having to put a stop to trying for our own, as the adoption people (rightly) say we should. I know I can get pg, I've just been really unlucky. I think what I'll have to do is try, really hard, for six months more. Then I'll know I've done all I can, and by that stage I'll be nearly 43, and even less likely to get pg, and we'll be at a later stage in the adoption process, making it more real.