TTC after miscarriage - February 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Hi to anyone reading 👋🏻

This is a thread for anyone TTC / testing in February, after a miscarriage.

I’ll start off with intros! I’m 37 and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks in December. I TTC straight afterwards, but AF found me, so here I still am on this crazy, frustrating, rollercoaster of a journey!

I joined the January thread after my miscarriage and it’s been amazing to go there and chat to other women who know how you feel.

So for anyone joining this, I’m so so sorry you find yourself here, but you’re in good company ❤️

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I personally always told myself, even before the miscarriage, that I’d tell anyone who I’d want support from if the worst happened. I told my 3 closest friends when I was pregnant, 2 of which live very close to me, and I needed them so much when I miscarried. Personally I was so glad that they already knew, so I didn’t have to tell them I’d been pregnant and wasn’t any more, if that makes sense. It’s a very personal thing though, some people might not want to tell anyone, it all depends on what you want to do ❤️

I’m cd27 since mc occurred.
No signs of af, no real pg signs either though tbh. Other than nausea. But if I was feeling sick from pregnancy then I’d have enough hcg to get a bfp, and all I’m getting is bfn’s. Apart from a bit of ewcm on cd13 I have no clue when or if I actually ovulated.
I just want my cycles to get back to some form of normality. The unknown is such a horrible thing.

Oh and last time I told my dad, brother and best friend. All people I knew would support me should the worst happen.
When it did they were all amazing. My brother and his wife (who’s also pregnant, we’d have been 3 days apart), looked after my children when I had to go into hospital. So if I fell pregnant again I’d tell the same people. It would be so hard to go through the same again but have to keep it all in. X

@Anny27 hello and sorry to hear about you AF...
I also thought to take a step back but i want it so badly i can’t

Hope February will bring us more BFP than the january thread !!!

Xx

@seaduck I’m the same, I’m finding focusing on ttc a good distraction from mc. I’m trying not to put too much pressure on this month though as I’ve no idea what my cycle is doing, although I’m CD13 if taking first day of mc as CD1.

However I just had a call from the hospital trying to arrange my booking appt and that has set me right off again

@TerribleImagination @SweetpeaOrMarigold I have been thinking about this actually the last couple of days. Me and DH hadn’t told anyone yet, I was due to see my family when I’d have been 6+1 so was planning to tell them then, I even bought a ‘big bro’ t shirt for my toddler to wear as a way of telling them so when mc started 3 days before I didn’t say anything as I was waiting for blood test to confirm. Now it’s confirmed it feels odd to tell them that I was pregnant and now I’m not? I have a couple of friends who I know have had mc who I’ve considered telling but I don’t know whether that’s a bit unfair on them. I’m just not sure whether talking to anyone will make me feel better, or just make us both feel worse?!

I told some friends but not my family that I had a MC. I don't want my mum to worry, but once I am pregnant for at least 8 weeks I will tell her about both pregnancies I think

Thanks @Michette it's so all consuming isnt it!

Yep the January thread was dry on the bfp front!!!

Is anyone due to test soon? I am cd2 so probably will be testing around 24th February

@sweetpeaormarigold I practically told everyone I know haha! I wanted them to know that our little one existed and also loads of people were asking when we were ttc so I wanted them to stop asking :p

After I got past the point in the previous miscarriage (so around 6 weeks) we told our mums and my sibling. I hadn't told work but then I had to because it was so close to the previous miscarriage and I had to have some time off for the surgery etc.

I'm not sure if I'll ever feel safe in a future pregnancy (if I have one) I can't imagine telling anyone before 20 weeks.

I'm not sure I'll be testing this month. The spotting has finally turned brown so am hopeful I'll be back in the game at the end of the week and that will bring us up to the two weeks I had to abstain. My DH and I would l like to resume relations for our own sake as much as anything. But from next week I will be doing things to promote a good lining so if we do catch the first egg we give it the best chance but my DH is going to be away in a few weeks for a week. That'll probably be when I ovulate...

Oh yeah after the miscarriage we told family what had happened. Makes it a bit odd now that they know we’re trying, but I’m glad we told them. They were all amazing and supportive.

@TerribleImagination @SweetpeaOrMarigold @Moominmiss
Yes cycles can vary quiet a lot after MC. I was told to expect period between 4-6 weeks after my ERPC. My cycles are usually around 34/35 days and I ovulate around CD20-21. This time I got a positive opk on CD26 (Cd1 - day of ERPC) and AF came yesterday right at 2 weeks after the positive opk & around 5.5 weeks after the ERPC. We haven’t ttc’d this month but will start now!
Regarding telling people, last time we told only my mom, MIL & SIL. But when I had the MC I told a few of my close friends and they were very supportive. I’ll probably do the same- not tell any friends early if I get pregnant again. Not sure about family though. I might just keep the news to ourselves until 12 weeks purely because I don’t want to give them any false hopes incase things go wrong again. But not sure what I’ll do when it actually happens. Might end up telling my mom as it’ll be difficult to hide from her!
@Anny27 I am CD2 too, but will probably test after AF is due so may be 29th Feb! Happy ttc’ing everyone 😊

Ladies who are hoping to conceive on their first cycle, when are you planning to test? They said expect period 4-6 weeks after the mc but not sure if I have the nerve to wait the 6 whole weeks!
Just tested negative for first time since the mc so at least I know any positives will be real x

@Anny27 i am on CD7 so will be testing near your date too... assuming i ovulate like normal on CD15

I just had a colleague tell me it took them three attempt to get their twins after a MC.

So i am hopeful!

@seaduck assuming I have obvious signs if ovulation I will wait 14 days after when I think I've ovulated and add a week to that

Can you see it? Ok I'm going back on what I said and doing a frer in the morning!

We told quite a few people, I was nieve to think that because the first pregnancy was fine this one would be too. But actually, I wouldn't do it any differently. We've had so much support which has been lovely. I think I would have found it so hard with everyone carrying on like normal without realising the crap we were going through. In regards to pregnancy testing, I want to leave it as late as possible as would be so nice to test and be more than a week along! Although I know there's no way I'll be able to wait so will probably test 5 weeks after MC if AF hasn't arrived. I got a post MC negative last week (nice that it happened so quickly I guess) but OPK have been all over the place, so no idea when the actual right time is. Day 17 now though so DTD a lot! 😂 I can't wait for someone to post saying they have had a BFP, will be so exciting and give a little hope ❤️

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I can see the faint line but it’s really faint so could still be an evap..how sensitive is that test? Def try a FRER..I really hope it is a BFP!! As far as telling ppl goes I def found that having told ppl made it easier to then tell them about MC and being able to talk about it to people who can give support I find has been so good for me to heal emotionally. We just told very close family and I told work (I’d be close to my coworkers anyways). I think if I get another BFP I’ll probably tell the same people again.
I’m currently CD20, still HPT positive (def getting lighter though). Got my bloods checked today and will get results tomorrow. Also GP is organising an ultrasound in next couple weeks to check on the fibroid I have. Really want to just TTC again and all this waiting is so difficult. No signs I’m near ovulation yet so I’m guessing HCG stalling it all still. DTD unprotected yesterday even though I said I wouldn’t until HPT was negative but def don’t think it’ll make a difference if I have no signs of ovulation yet.

Finger crossed everything moves forwsrd quickly for you, so you can start looking more at the future @leok83
Its 10mlU so hopeful! Debating to give it another day 🙃

Ive had two chemicals nov and dec. So this month i have given myself off (well kind of) in the hopes a little break will work. I was getting far to upset and stressed.
I kind of came to the conclusion i was putting far to much pressure on myself and if it happens it happens. Fingers crossed for you ladies x

Hi everyone just trying to catch up. Had a very faint line on a cheapie pregnancy test last week but didn't know if it was residual from the
Mmc. Seems to be negative again now and I've been doing clear blue digital tests for a week and half. Had a solid smiley on the 16th but then decided it must have been hcg related so threw the kit out and started again with a new kit. Have now had flashing smileys for days. I don't think I've ovulated at all yet and today blood tinged cervical mucus so I'm thinking af is on the way :( have a private appointment with a doctor tonight. Not sure what the point of going is really.

@toomanyleggings (great name btw 😂) I have found the same with you regarding OKP, im not sure how much they can be trusted in the first cycle following MC as it's hard to know when HCG turns into ovulation hormones. So frustrating.

Hi @babysunshine 👋 sorry I wasn’t checking in and missed your message. I know what you mean about how strange it seems that your body is so affected by it but I suppose it’s a big shift for hormones to start a pregnancy at all.

Sorry to those who have moved over from January thread, fingers crossed for Feb

Have to say I think the early testing after a MC really adds unnecessary stress. I was so sure that I would get a positive having taken one cycle off. Luckily didn’t have to test as AF came on time. And even now on cycle 4 I can see what a big impact the MC has had on my cycle. We were all hopeful for positives over on the Jan thread but need to be realistic as well. I don’t know if I will manage it but I’m going to try and wait as long as possible to test, hopefully a few days longer than my longest cycle

Yesterday was a down day for me being cycle day 1 but today I am happier and ready for next cycle! Going to be ovulating the weekend that we are away (hopefully if ovulation is as normal) so that's good timing:D

@sparkl 100% early testing gave me so much stress. The morning I was going to test I had 0 sleep the night before. It was not good for my mental health last month so be so obsessed with it!

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I can see a faint shadow!

@Annie0425 another annie:D cycle buddies! I usually ovulate between 14-17 but after miscarriage who knows if my cycle will continue to be regular so I will be waiting a while to test I think too.

@Michette ahh that gives me hope hearing of your colleagues pregnancy after miscarriage:):)

@SweetpeaOrMarigold looks like a potential line to me! Very exciting 🤞

Looks like I'm joining you all in the February thread, 12dpo, just got bfn on a frer.
Still no signs of AF coming anytime soon!
AF should have arrived Friday just gone but then this is my 1st since MC, so things clearly aren't back to normal.
I'm going to start using ovulation tests again just incase I ovulate again.

I think if we’d told family we were pregnant they’d have been really supportive about mc but given that we hadn’t even told anyone yet I’m unsure about saying anything now. DH doesn’t want to tell his family but said it’s up to me if I think I’ll feel better to talk about it with mine. To start with I wanted to tell family/ close friends but now I feel like I need to try to move on and focus on the future. Maybe I’ll tell them later down the line.

@seaduck I’m first cycle after mc too and 6 weeks feels like forever! Do you have any idea when you’re ovulating? I don’t use OPK but think I might be ovulating this week so will maybe test in 2ish weeks if no sign of AF, so mid Feb which would be a month after mc. I’m not a fan of testing early though as I find it stressful, I prefer to wait until AF is due/ late.

🤞 for you @SweetpeaOrMarigold !