TTC after miscarriage - February 2020

[TerribleImagination]

Hi to anyone reading 👋🏻

This is a thread for anyone TTC / testing in February, after a miscarriage.

I’ll start off with intros! I’m 37 and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks in December. I TTC straight afterwards, but AF found me, so here I still am on this crazy, frustrating, rollercoaster of a journey!

I joined the January thread after my miscarriage and it’s been amazing to go there and chat to other women who know how you feel.

So for anyone joining this, I’m so so sorry you find yourself here, but you’re in good company ❤️

Cd13 I mesnt*

@anny27 honestly don’t lose hope!!! Just keep testing... Probably will be around mine at CD17

It’s just annoying because we planned and did ssooo much bding before CD15 but we were too early.

So yeah, try not to make the same mistake 😅

Probably will be like me around CD17 *

Hi All
First message in this group, I too was on previous January threads. I had my miscarriage mid December. We missed our chance of DTD after the miscarriage as we were both ill and staying at parents for Christmas. I then had my first AF mid Jan, I had my solid smiley face and were all action. I did a test this morning and got a BFN. It may still be too early but I'm not holding out much hope as I've been having my normal pre AF symptoms!
Can I ask if anyone else is going to stop trying for a few months? I really wanted to avoid a winter baby and as my first pregnancy would have been due in July I was so excited to have a summer baby. If this month is a negative then next month I would be looking at late Nov then late Dec etc DD. I know a lot of people wouldn't care but I just really don't want a winter/Christmas baby. Is that bad? I might start trying again from May.
The whole process is just so hard. I just really miss being pregnant and it's all I can think about.

@helly013 I am born in the "Christmas/new year season" and it's fine

Ideally I dont want a Christmas baby but after the miscarriage I honestly dont mind :) a baby is a baby regardless of when their birthday is. This ttc journey has taught me that I cant plan everything in my life so my babys birthday is something I am relinquishing control on haha!

@Michette I was cd17 last month so probably similar this month!

I couldn't care less when I have a baby as long as it's born healthy. Having had two miscarriages I'd be more worried about missing the month with the good egg to be honest. But also I'm 40. I think we are probably going to try to the end of the year but if nothing has happened by then I think we'll stop :(

Same here at this point i just wish for a healthy baby even on xmas day!

@anny27 still at peak for me (even darker than yesterday) so ovulation now predicted on CD19...

Are you using opks?

@Anny27 I think you're right I'm overthinking it! I'm a summer baby July and I've always loved it so when I was originally due a July baby I was so excited. I'm also too practical and the money of a birthday and Christmas being close worries me. But I think I'll just keep going like you say as long as its healthy that's all that matters.

@helly013 I'm also a winter baby and although my birthday isn't at the best time (right after Christmas and new year) it really hasn't had that much of a negative effect on my life! (Although I do jokingly wind my mum up about it regularly). In fact we get cheap deals on holidays each year around my birthday so that's a bonus 😂

I know how you feel though, I was so excited to be having a June baby as all the birthdays in my family are winter time and June just seemed so perfect but it wasn't meant to be. We're starting ttc again next month so if we're lucky enough to fall first time we'll be right on track for a Christmas baby! I love Christmas so I think it could be quite special. But like others have said all I actually want now is a healthy pregnancy and baby and I genuinely couldn't care when they arrived 😁 bring on a Christmas baby! 🎅🏻

Well I’ve actually never been so pleased to have af arrive!!!
After an up and down month not knowing if my hcg was still coming down after the mc (Despite getting bfn’s since the mc!) or rising from a new pregnancy, it finally arrived today.
I had blood test Tuesday and a repeat one today to check levels but with the arrival of af it confirms what I already believed.
I just feel so relieved that after waiting so long I’m finally at the start of a new cycle. In around 10 days I might use some ovulation tests just to see if anything’s happening, but we’ll likely just dtd every other day like we usually do anyway.

@moominmiss we're now AF twins 😂🙌 hoping we'll both see BFP in 4 weeks time ❤️

Day 8 of flashing smileys.
I'm not using these again after this cycle, they are stressing me out!!!

Q- I've been testing twice a day so I didn't miss the peak. I've now only got 4 sticks left... Do I buy a new kit and use the sticks in my current holder? Just to ride it out and see what's going on for the rest of the cycle.
Or call it a day and pack it in as a bad job?
😂😂
What would you do?

@bs9790 i never used them so not sure what i means but i guess means that you aren’t having a surge?

Can you use cheapie opk in the meantime ? And when you see a darker line you use your smiley thing???

@shhhhs hopefully we can try and keep each other sane!!!

I’m dying to just start ttc again and hope for a happier ending!

🤞🏻 For us, and everyone else here!!

@Michette yes, flashing smiley is supposed to be high fertility and static smiley is a surge detected for peak fertility. The kit suggests if you've used for 9 days and no static, then to stop testing.
However... I don't know how long my cycle will be. Pre MC my cycle was 32/33 days, however last month on my first cycle post MC it was only 24 days. So it could just be that I started testing too early and I'm back to a 33 day cycle.
Argh it's all so confusing.
I'm away for a week next week so was really hoping to get a peak before I went!!

Hi I miscarried 30th jan and want to start ttc as soon as i can I stoped bleeding 4 days ago. I had a healthy baby 2 years ago from a normal pregnancy but still the loss this time has been really hard as it was the last thing I was expecting. Sorry if I seem selfish or ungrateful to anyone. I am very grateful for my bubba but really want another one. Anyone had a miscarriage after a normal first pregnancy and then struggled to get another. Any advice what to do to help this time round concieve and keep baby.

@bs9790

Aww that's annoying...
Can you test every other day? Or you re gonna miss it?

@BS9790 I’d keep testing! I was the same with clear blue this month, they were doing my head in! I got loads more days of blank circle than usual, then when it moved to flashing I didn’t get a peak on the day I thought I would (based on how I usually get loads of EWCM on peak day) so I was convinced I’d somehow missed the surge! Kept on testing anyway and finally got that bloody static smiley on CD16!

I’d just buy another kit, but get the 20 sticks one, so if you need to use them again next month you’ll have plenty. Fingers crossed you don’t need them again though! 🤞🏻

Hi @Ibaadsmummy I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I too had a healthy baby and then a miscarriage two years later. The only advice I can give you is to be kind to yourself. This is a very difficult time. You didn't do anything to cause your loss so all you can do next time is follow a generally healthy lifestyle and take your folic acid- apparently it's good for men too! I don't think any of us realised how common miscarriage is until it happened to us. Try to get through this rollercoaster and believe that you will hold your new baby soon xx

Hey hun thanks I know just need to be patient but I'm finding it really hard plus stupid hcg test still showing positive n feeling nauseous sometimes it's like I'm not allowed to forget xxxx hopefully I can get pregnant soon did you manage to have another

@lbaadsmummy I’m so sorry you’re here too. Unfortunately you may find the the hcg lingers around for a while yet.
Think it can depend on how high your levels were when you miscarried and just generally how your body is with getting rid of it, but I miscarried on January 1st and a hcg year I had done on 4th February was still showing a level of 22 so I was still testing positive. I finally got af yesterday which likely means my levels have dropped to non pregnant (under 5). I did have another hcg test yesterday which will hopefully confirm it.
Like others have said, just be kind to yourself and don’t think about it as anything you did wrong. I have 3 children all of which I had perfectly normal healthy pregnancies with, never experienced a mc until now, unfortunately it’s just so much more common than I ever knew.
There’s no reason why you can’t just carry on as you were when your body is ready, and do whatever it was you did the last time.
Sending hugs x

@TerribleImagination thanks for your reply.

Finally got my static today, after 8 days of flashies. CD17!

Got a really busy fortnight coming up too so hopefully the TWW won't play on my mind so much this time x

@bs9790 yayy!!! 🙂

@Ibaadsmummy my miscarriage started on the 21st January, pregnancy tests are still showing faint positive for me today. I did lose the ‘material’ yesterday which was a surprise as I thought i had lost all of it last weekend.
I never knew how slow a miscarriage could be. I am going to start trying again once my HCC is negative so I can accurately test ovulation.
I was advised by the midwife to wait until after I’ve had a period to try again, it gives time for my lining to thicken up and helps with dating.
I wish you all the best on your journey

*hcg