TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is the thread for those of us in the TTC after loss penguin huddle who want to try to eat a more healthy diet, exercise more, lose weight or just feel better physically this year
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@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 @SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 @VenusStarr @SunStruck

If I’ve missed anyone please tag them

How about we start by saying what our goals are whether that he the number on the scale, doing more exercise or just feeling better about ourselves?

I’m BunnytheBlueWhale (NC recently - see TTC thread). I’m 35 and probably weigh about a stone more than I’d like since I had my stillborn daughter in February. I don’t need to lose weight massively but having post-baby weight and no baby is a bit rubbish!

I’d like to lose a bit of a weight all over and also target my belly with brushing, moisturising and maybe microneedling at home...

I eat a lot of sugary snacks so want to massively reduce those and also try to take a healthy lunch to work to stop me spending so much money on food!

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I haven't had a proper catch up but you have all been so lovely to me and I just wanted to let you know that despite everything looking good on our early scans our 12 week scan showed a serious heart defect and other issues. A CVS confirmed that the baby has Patau Syndrome. We are devastated and can't believe we've been so unlucky. I'm booked I for a surgical termination on Thursday and will have to rest for a couple of weeks but after that I really want to focus on getting healthy so I'll rejoin you all then x

Oh I’m so very sorry @Seahawk80 That’s devastating. You have no reason to apologise to us. There’s nothing I can really say to make this better obviously but we are here when you need us and I hope you have a good support network in real life

Oh @Seahawk80 i don't really know what to say other than this must seem like a living hell right now but there will be light at the end of this tunnel. X

I am so so sorry @Seahawk80 ❤️ life is very cruel. I am sending you lots of love xx

@BunnytheBee here is that recipe. I can be blended smoothly if you prefer

How are you @VenusStarr @Shefliesonherownwings @tortiecat @LASandOtto

Thank you @avocadoincident that looks lovely!

I might make some soup for lunch 🥣

It is my birthday this week so I have had lots of cake (I have eaten one cake and have been given another cake) as well as chocolates etc so can’t say this is a v healthy week! Also have a few plans to eat out and even going to a new dessert place with a friend 🙈

@BunnytheBee happy birthday for this week, hope you are truly spoiled rotten as you deserve. If there's ever a time to eat cake, it's your birthday!

I've not been feeling too well the last couple of days. I suffer with Crohns and its flared up this week. I suspect from all the bad food in New York last week, a lot of buffalo chicken was consumed! Feeling very bloated and constipated and haven't been to the gym since I've been back. I did manage to make a big pot of WW chorizo and red lentil soup which was delicious. Also having a Joe Wicks chicken pie tonight so am back on the healthy food at least.

Thanks @Shefliesonherownwings!

I hope your Crohns settles. Is it worse with stress? My cousin has it and it can be awful. I think I get IBS especially when stressed and that’s enough to get me down sometimes!

I made leek and potato soup as I bought the ingredients at the weekend. I have about enough to feed me for a week! I did a mix of blended and chunky which I quite like.

Happy birthday @BunnytheBee :) hope you have a lovely day

Sorry you're having a flare up @Shefliesonherownwings, hope it settles soon.

I'm still going, lost another 1/2lb this week, it's slowly going in the right direction. Been feeling very overwhelmed, had lots of hospital / clinic appointments this last couple of weeks and I really want to sabotage myself with pizza. Didn't realise I was such an emotional eater. We're off on an all inclusive holiday next weekend, so want to keep going and hopefully can't do another lb or 2 before we go 🤞

Hooe everyone is getting on OK xx

Can! My phone is sabotaging me now! Sorry, had such a tiring day at work and didn't preview.

Thank you @VenusStarr and well done on the weight loss!

@Seahawk80 how are you coping? (I'm not new here but I've name changed).

Hello everyone,

I'm sorry I went AWOL once again. I have been having a Pity Party for One recently - it's almost a year since I lost my son. I'm taking tiny steps to climb up from rock bottom but it's hard, Eeyore would have nothing on me these last few weeks! Just struggling to take pleasure in anything or feel hopeful about the future. I've been carrying on with my 4 / 5 gym classes a week so feeling fitter and stronger, but the diet has gone to pot so I've put on weight again - I'm definitely checking in more often now!

@Seahawk80 I can't even say how sad and angry I am for you that this has happened to you again - I am so sorry. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love.

@Shefliesonherownwings I am glad that you enjoyed NYC, and hope that you feel better soon.

@VenusStarr well done on your weight loss! Where are you off to on your hols?

@BunnytheBee happy birthday to you! Please tell me all about your cakes from this week and I can dream about them whilst I make some soup :D

@tortiecat I’m sorry you’re feeling down. The anniversaries are hard and I found the lead up to it v tough too. Well done on going to the gym but don’t be hard on yourself if you haven’t been eating too well.

I don’t think I’ve lost any weight since Christmas. Im going to try harder from next week. I know, I should start today. But I still have birthday sweets and cake! Also I still have PMT and feel a bit crap.

Here is a pic of one of my cakes

Thanks everyone for the messages. I'm doing as well as can be expected. Had the termination on Thursday and it went fine. I have to say that last time was much easier, the wait was too long at hospital so they referred me to Marie stopes whereas this time it was at hospital and it was so frustrating. Waited around for hours, then my waters went from the meds and luckily they took me straight to theatre as I was scared I'd start to have contractions (had a horrible labour with DS and it makes me sick to think of it). They then didn't have my anti D even though I'd been told it was ordered so had to either wait around for hours or go back the next day. Then got home to find the letter with my CVS results. The baby had Edwards, not Patau as I was told on the phone. It's made me so angry, yes they both have a similar prognosis and we knew anyway that the heart problems were fatal but it's not the point. To be given the wrong diagnosis is unforgivable. Also at my hospital there are a specialist team of midwives who just deal with "abnormal" 12 week
Scans and follow up so they should know what they are doing. I called them and they at first tried to say it was a misunderstanding but I remember it so clearly and even said to her was it def not Edwards as my odds were 1/11 and the markers all pointed towards that diagnosis. I'm now dealing with the head midwife who is going to investigate. It's the last thing I needed but I couldn't let it go.

Other than that I feel fine physically. I'll give myself a bit more rest and then get back on the couch to 5k. I'm also getting myself a new bike once I'm back at work and I'm looking forward to cycling to work again - one way to avoid coronavirus!!

@Seahawk80 that's absolutely dreadful giving you the wrong diagnosis. How could that have happened? I'm glad you are following it up as it will help the next desperate person in this situation as the staff will tighten up procedures.

When I lost my daughter at 20 weeks it was a catalogue of awful but easily avoidable scenarios and comments by staff. I wrote a letter detailing what had happened and how easily things could be tweaked (for free in a an underfunded NHS) and they've put all me suggestions in place. It made me feel like I'd changed things for the better for the next woman. I found comfort in that.

@Seahawk80 are you physically recovering and are you able to access counselling? Mine starts on Tuesday which has is timely as my due date is Friday.

Thanks @84TinsOfBeans - I think she was looking at the wrong notes. She called me with the results but I was driving and called back. The head midwife is following up on it. Let's see if they hold their hands up or try to deny it and say it was a misunderstanding- which it couldn't have been in a million years. I'm going to see how she handles it and if I'm happy with it and if I'm not I'll make a PALS complaint. I did last time about the awful sonographer at my nuchal scan and to be fair they were excellent this time but then it all fell apart after that.

It's good the hospital put your suggestions into place. At least you will be helping other people in a very sad situation.

The counseller is going to contact me. I'm still not 100% decided but I think it will be helpful. Especially as I think we will try again but I can't even think about that at the moment. I hope that yours is helpful and that you feel ok over your due date.

Physically I'm fine, being v careful not to overdo it and end up in pain. Mentally I'm not great. I've been ok pottering about at home with DS and DH and seeing friends. Went back to work for my night shift last night and the person I was working with is an old friend, he asked if I was ok as I'd been off sick on Friday and I just burst into tears. I think it was partly because it was someone I'm close to if that makes sense.

It’s awful that they gave you the wrong diagnosis @Seahawk80 I think a lot more care needs to be taken by the health professionals and I think you’re doing right to have it investigated if you’re feeling up to it. Even not having the anti D is not good enough. I’m glad you’re feeling ok physically but take it easy. I hope you have strong support in real life. Do you have some time off work?

I hope everyone else is ok

I really need to get my act together and try to lose a bit of weight. I’m not overweight but I’m still about a size bigger than I was before I had my DD, a year ago now, and I think I need to lose at least half a stone. I was thinking a stone but that’s probably a lot...

I’ve had excuse after excuse with Christmas, DD anniversary and my birthday but I need it do get on it now.

Especially if I’m going to Dubai end of June that might give me something to aim for to get in shape... I don’t feel like I’m eating that badly though and I’m a bit reluctant to go in the gym as much due to the germs (won’t go on about CV but it is a consideration)

So will try to do little things:

• Cut down on treats / unhealthy snacks

• Take a walk at lunchtime / get up throughout the day so I’m not constantly sitting (by taking lunch into work, which was part of being healthy, it ends up meaning I don’t go out and just sit at my desk)

Sorry for the long post

@BunnytheBee I know we are in the keep fit thread together as well but I can tell you what's working for me if that helps.

I have a similar amount of weight to lose as you. I have a Monday to Friday rule of eating porridge for breakfast (massive bowl full of nuts, seeds and dried fruits). Then soup and one chunky piece of bread for lunch and a normal meal in the evening. I start eating at 10 am or later and I finish eating at 6pm.

I do what I want on the weekend.

I've lost around 2lb a week for the last three weeks.

Do you snack @84TinsOfBeans?

I think snacking is my issue

Sorry @BunnytheBee I should've mentioned I snack on fruit, nuts and seeds. No limit to those.
I find I'm snacking less as my porridge fills me up so much and I'm trying to drink water.

I drink a massive mug of decaf tea when I get up which gets me to near enough 10 without being hungry

@84TinsOfBeans I often find a banana can fill me up on a morning and then I have lunch at 12 but then I snack in an afternoon and I like something sweet after lunch and after dinner 🙈 I have got better but I need to do something. I feel like I’m getting slimmer as I’ve gone down in jeans sizes but my weight has not changed!

Thanks @BunnytheBee . I'm very lucky to have a great support network in real life. My family and friends have been amazing. I had almost 2 weeks off work and I feel ready to go back now. I'm working nights so it's quite nice to not be in my usual routine when I go back.

Don't beat yourself up about losing weight. You (and your body) have been through so much. Holiday sounds like good motivation. We're going to Spain at the end of April. We booked it as the early scans were looking so good and we had originally planned to go in September but thought we wouldn't be able to go as I'd be having a baby the week we'd booked off. I'm so glad now that did book it as it's something to look forward too and hopefully we'll go away in September too. We've got a villa with a pool just the 3 of us so should be some lovely family time.

Hi all. @Seahawk80 I'm so sorry for your loss, life is so cruel. I'm glad your doing well physically and we are all here for you, whatever you need. Spain at the end of april sounds lovely, a good tonic for you both hopefully.

I'm feeling better thanks, I think I it was a shock to my system having been healthy for a few weeks and then consuming so much naughty food. I'm back on it this weekend, currently enjoying a WW lunch. We are going away at the beginning of May for our anniversary so I'm hoping to be fitter and healthier for that. We've agreed this time will be a relaxing beach holiday. We were knackered after NY! Hope everyone is having a good sunday.

@Seahawk80 I'm so sorry to hear that they told you the wrong diagnosis - that must be incredibly tough on top of everything else, and I really hope that they hold their hands up to it. Very glad to hear that you have support around you in real life and that you have a holiday booked for next month. Are you back at work tonight?

@BunnytheBee that cake looks beautiful and utterly delicious, you lucky thing. I hope you enjoyed it! I'm struggling with the snacking thing too, I think we spoke about that when you first started the thread. I eat very healthy main meals but just fruit in between doesn't really do it for me unfortunately, I just feel very deprived and sad that it's not a cake! I'm not letting myself have anything after dinner... I read somewhere that you should combine carbs + protein in a snack so as to feel satisfied, so I am going to try packing something for mid-afternoon in the office, an apple and cheese or smoked salmon and an oatcake or plain yoghurt and blueberries. It's just hard turning down the treats that my lovely team bring in! I wish I liked nuts and seeds more, I can put them in porridge but just don't want to eat them on their own.

@84TinsOfBeans your plan sounds very good and sensible. I am definitely going to eat more soup and try not to eat too late. Thinking of you as your due date approaches, in case of use the SANDS telephone line was a godsend for me in August last year, I spoke to the same lady twice for half an hour each time and she was so understanding, it helped me get through it when I felt I couldn't bear the pain anymore. Counselling since has helped too, I hope you find it useful too, although I am a bit wobbly with the anniversary of my loss coming up.