TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is the thread for those of us in the TTC after loss penguin huddle who want to try to eat a more healthy diet, exercise more, lose weight or just feel better physically this year
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@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 @SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 @VenusStarr @SunStruck

If I’ve missed anyone please tag them

How about we start by saying what our goals are whether that he the number on the scale, doing more exercise or just feeling better about ourselves?

I’m BunnytheBlueWhale (NC recently - see TTC thread). I’m 35 and probably weigh about a stone more than I’d like since I had my stillborn daughter in February. I don’t need to lose weight massively but having post-baby weight and no baby is a bit rubbish!

I’d like to lose a bit of a weight all over and also target my belly with brushing, moisturising and maybe microneedling at home...

I eat a lot of sugary snacks so want to massively reduce those and also try to take a healthy lunch to work to stop me spending so much money on food!

[Seahawk80]

Hey everyone, we seem to have dropped off this thread a bit. Is everyone doing lockdown baking and just giving up on fitness? I don't blame you! I'm back at work after furlough. It's pretty quiet, I'm in the office as I can cycle to work. Our house is still a building site but moving forward! DS is loving being back at the childminder. DH is still furloughed and his job looks iffy but trying to be positive. I fell off the couch to 5k wagon as the long runs at the end were too hard on my joints. I think I will keep running max 15 mins just 2 x a week, still something isn't it? I'm also cycling 40 miles a week.

Had a bit of a shock today, my period is late which is nothing unusual but I woke up and thought I should test and it was positive! I'm in shock as we weren't going to try until next month, I haven't even told DH, we literally DTD once. I'm so scared, both about the baby being OK and also financially. Luckily DH and I had a long talk last month about how it's not the best time to try but equally with me being 40 this year we can't wait and let's actually get to the stage where we might have a baby and then worry. As we all know a positive test doesn't mean a baby coming home. But I'm trying to stay positive and think positive thoughts. Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

[BeetheQueenBee]

How is everyone doing?

I feel I’ve done fairly well on the keeping active but today is one of the days when I really don’t feel like exercising!

I’m eating quite well but the chocolate addiction is going strong!

[footprintsintheslow]

@Seahawk80 this must be such a worrying time if you work in travel. Try to not think too long term and take each day as it comes. Sounds cliched but I find it helpful for all sorts of scenarios. Are you working from home at all?

People are so insensitive all the time. When I look back I was probably (definitely) one of those insensitive people before I knew how it was to be one of us.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@Seahawk80 Oh that would annoy me too. Especially to be asked to call her because her kids are hard work. with working from home I’ve heard so many complaints about how hard it is being at home with children and I’m sure it is hard but it’s better than the alternative of not having your child at home 🙄

When will your house be back to normal?

[Seahawk80]

@1stbabs I'm sorry about the cemetery. I read somewhere that the government has said they should be reopened but the one behind our flat is still shut.

I'm feeling a bit panicky about how long lockdown will last. DH and I both work in travel and I'm so worried about our jobs. I'm just trying not to watch the news or listen to speculation. I'm feeling pretty down anyway, my mum called me to say my sister was having a bad day as her kids were driving her mad and she was feeling low so could I call her. I know everyone is entitled to a bad day but I found it so insensitive, she has 2 kids, a massive house that was just renovated, trampoline, swimming pool, they have loads of money and her husbands job is pretty safe. We are really struggling, have a smallish flat with no kitchen and the garden is basically a builders dumping ground and may never have another child but I'm meant to cheer her up! Thing is her kids drive her mad because she expects them to play on their own or watch TV and doesn't ever interact with them so I can't really have much sympathy. Anyway rant over! Hope everyone is enjoying the sun anyway.

[footprintsintheslow]

For anyone in areas with closed cemeteries it might be worth a quick email to the council if anyone has time on their hands? You can say Monmouthshire has theirs open with social distancing successfully going on.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@footprintsintheslow Exactly. What is the logic in closing cemeteries? I hardly see anyone whenever I go anyway so you hardly get people congregating and you’d think it would help people and their mental health. Could it be to do with funerals for people who have died from Covid I wonder? I really don’t know.

@1stbabs It can be horrible when that happens. I have moments like that, where I feel overwhelmed with sadness, and it can be a shock but it always passes. I’m always sad that my DD isn’t here but most of the time is somewhere in my mind rather than at the forefront. I hope you find some comfort x

I hope everyone else is ok 💕

[1stbabs]

@footprintsintheslow I really don't understand the logic either. Like you say it's not like you're hanging around talking to people. The place where your baby is buried sounds so peaceful and lovely with all the animals/nature around ❤️

@BunnytheHoneyBee Thank you for your encouraging words. I think you're right and it does come in waves, it just hit me hard as I hadn't even cried since Mother's Day. I think I need to be gentler on myself! I hope the cemetery your daughter is buried at stays open. My daughter is also buried with other babies which brings me comfort too x

[footprintsintheslow]

@1stbabs this makes me so cross for you and anyone else. I'm completely all for the rules around self isolation but honestly there is no need to close cemeteries. Everyone socially isolated there anyway. No one is going there to chat to anyone else visiting a grave.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@1stbabs I’m sorry the cemetery was closed. I’m still not sure whether the cemetery where my DD is, is open or not.

You're not going backwards although it may feel that way. I think grief comes and goes. Maybe it’s always there but it’s definitely worse sometimes than others. I think that’s why it is said that “grief comes in waves”.

Don’t be hard on yourself about exercise. Diet is the most important thing when it comes to staying in shape anyway but being a little bit active when you feel like it (even if that’s walking around the block or vacuuming the front room) can be good for your mind too but don’t put pressure on yourself to do much more than that.

[1stbabs]

Hi ladies, hope you're all ok. It's been a tough week for me so I've been a bit of a mess. Tried to walk to the cemetery my daughter is buried at and it was closed, and it kind of just set off my grief again. I had been doing really well but it seems like I'd gone backwards. I guess grief doesn't go in a straight line.

Impressed with those of you still keeping active! I am absolutely useless in lockdown 😂 I have been at least trying to eat healthy so that's something!

Hope you're all having a nice weekend x

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

Exactly @footprintsintheslow

I have done my workout now and had some lunch so having another rest 😂 before I give the kitchen a good clean

[footprintsintheslow]

Still in my pyjamas here but going for a walk soon. I think Saturday's are allowed to be like this!

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@footprintsintheslow Yeah it’s nice to think that our babies are not alone x

I’m having a lazy day so far but plan do to some body combat this afternoon

Hope everyone is ok

[footprintsintheslow]

...living nearby which is a lovely thought for me. Last time I was there we saw bats too so I like to think of her being with all the wildlife and nature. I totally understand you feeling happy that the babies are all together in the cemetery. I 'like' (wrong word) to see that too in my area.

[footprintsintheslow]

@BunnytheHoneyBee I walked passed our local cemetery and it was unlocked and open. I think social distancing is easy to achieve at a cemetery so hopefully yours is open.

I don't really feel a need to visit the grave too much. I go there to check it's not completely overgrown by brambles. It took quite a bit of clearing to make the area ready and I don't want to battle with brambles there again. Where the field was cleared I can see there's some signs of a fox l

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@footprintsintheslow You’re right. At that time you don’t know what to do and I wouldn’t necessarily have thought of getting foot prints etc but I am so glad I have those now.

It’s nice that you brought your baby home. I thought about at but not much as DH wasn’t keen on the idea and we were due to moved weeks after she died so in a way I’m glad we didn’t have her too tied up with the old house as that might have made it harder to move. It’s good also that you have her buried somewhere you can get to anytime.

My DD is buried nearby in the local cemetery that has a section for babies which is sad but also I liked the idea of her being with other babies (well you know what I mean). I went not long before lockdown but haven’t been since as we are locked down obviously but I did think about going there as a walk. It’s a long ish walk but do-able. I believe some cemeteries have been closed though. It helps to know she is nearby. If I’m honest I don’t visit that much really. It’s become about once a month but I try not to feel guilty. Tbh I go there and try to talk to her but get really emotional.

[footprintsintheslow]

@BunnytheHoneyBee luckily I'd made a little blanket and the funeral director did footprints. But I felt so angry as some parents will have left with nothing. But also that charity will be fundraising and that's hard work and then the hospital isn't even making use of the boxes.

I sent money to the 4Louis fund as I made use of some of the items in the box when we had the baby home overnight before we buried her.

We buried her on a little bit of land my family own so we can visit anytime really. We've planted a tree and I have some plants to put in around it this weekend when we go for our daily exercise.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@footprintsintheslow That’s so rubbish. I’m not surprised you complained. Did they just not have the boxes available at the time? I hope you have some memories and keepsakes.

So many people are talking about Joe Wicks. I’ll have to try it one day!

[footprintsintheslow]

@BunnytheHoneyBee
We had a memory box too from 4Louis but the hospital forgot to give it us and we got it a week later so many things were obsolete by then.

It was a catalogue of errors at the hospital and I gave them detailed feedback on my experience and not getting the memory box was one of those complaints. I don't normally complain but it was all just such a waste.

As for exercise I've been doing Joe Wicks every morning and lots and lots of digging. I've gained weight the last four weeks though from eating too much but this week I'm back to losing again so I feel great. I've also swapped my weigh in day to a Friday so I can see the benefit of five well behaved days in a row.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

@Seahawk80 I don’t think you need to do youtube cardio if you are running anyway so sounds like you are doing well.

I was running for a couple of weeks and then got bored 🙈 so started the Combat which I loved but wondering if I need to change up again. I had a rest day today as I felt really exhausted after exercising on Wednesday and think it’s cause I’m not used to doing intense cardio for 45 mins to an hour 3-4 times a week! So hoping it is just that I needed a rest than that I’m not enjoying it any more...

[Seahawk80]

@BunnytheHoneyBee I've started couch 2 5k (again) and just finished week 3! Also doing lots of manual labour in garden so also pretty happy on that front! I'd love to do some YouTube classes but tricky with a toddler on lockdown. However I realise I'm very very lucky to be in that situation so I won't moan. I might try to fit in a couple of yoga sessions but at the moment just trying to get the house straight. One good thing about a rubbish / non existent kitchen is there is nowhere to store snacks and you can't just pop to the shops! Drinking too much wine tho!

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

Hi @Seahawk80 Hope the renovations are going well! I think most of us here understand that difficulty with others being pregnant and having babies but I’m glad you’re feeling better

Exercise wise, has everyone given up?! I feel like I’m doing more since on lockdown and feeling good about it!

[Seahawk80]

Hello - just a quick hi! I normally mumsnet at work and I'm not working atm so weirdly have less time! Our flat is halfway through renovations and no kitchen - not even a floor is hard work. Garden is trashed too from builders so we stayed with my mum for 3 weeks while they plastered and hoping to go to my sisters empty second home in a few weeks so they can come back and at least do the floor. It's a full time job dusting and mopping! I'm ok though and loving having extra time off with DS, I feel like I had 2 mat leaves taken away so at least I'm getting some time with him. I was in a very bad place, feeling quite bitter about people being pregnant and having babies but I feel a bit better now - I guess it's just stages of grief. Hope everyone is ok.

[BunnytheHoneyBee]

Hi @1stbabs I’ve been fine over the weekend, thanks, but didn’t sleep well (went to bed late to be fair) so feeling tired and grumpy today! How are you?

I think some snacking and treats are ok I’ve probably eaten more chocolate this weekend but then it is Easter and I’ve been doing Combat every day so pleased with that.

I’m good with cardio but I struggle with the 32 jumping lunges or burpees or press ups and mountain climbers. Anything involving strength basically!

I’m going to try to keep doing it though and those bits are only 5-10 mins out of the class so manageable and I think I’ll see progress as it gets easier.

The memory boxes were a precious thing and while no one ever wants to be in that position it is really important to me to have those memories. I think they were from 4Louis charity? They had hand prints and foot prints plus a clay imprint of her hand and foot too. Some hair. I have photographs that the midwife took but also some from a charity called Remember my Baby who came in but weirdly I haven’t looked at those and in some ways I’m reluctant to now a year on. I’m conscious they’re the last photos I’ll ever have of her ❤️