TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@Avocuddles My cycles go funny every time I travel abroad, I have no idea whether it's related to flying, but every single time I go away abroad, they are longer. Could this have an impact on your cycles too? Xxx

Just having a catch up while watching lion king with DS for the 8 thousandth time, part of my problem is my brain is like a sieve these days so I catch up and then start to write a reply and can't remember what I wanted to say to people 😂 anyway here goes!

@tmc14 thank you this thread does race along doesn't it! I'd like to try to get into knitting etc. Problem is my mum is super good at that kind of thing so she knits hats / makes clothes / quilts for DS and mends / alters my clothes. I'm ashamed to admit I even give her tough stains to get out! I'm hoping to grow some more veg next year as last year I managed 10 potatoes.

@Avocuddles hope you had a lovely trip. My cycles are often random, AF was 5 days late last month. I now only test a day or 2 after I'm due so that I can't convince myself it's too early. I know what you mean about not knowing what will happen. I'm a planner and if someone could tell me when I'd have another child I'd be fine, even if it was a few years away. But that limbo feeling is tough, especially for your first. I do feel so lucky to have DS and one positive from all this is it does help me to be more patient on the challenging days with a toddler. Having fertility issues has made me feel like this from day 1, so a silver lining is that I do think it makes you a better parent when you finally get there.

@SunStruck I'd be the same this month, it will be nice to relax over Xmas and my birthdays the week before.

I'm going out with one of my nct friends tonight who had an mmc recently so we can have a good old moan about how unfair it all is.

Oh and @tmc14 sorry the hospital called you about your appointment. It really is ridiculous that things aren't linked. I had that about an appointment and then my 20 week scan. It's the last thing you need.

Oh and nothing to do with TTC but @Avocuddles I'd love to know what Mamma Mia the party is like. Thinking of it with my mum and sisters for my 40th next year!

Hi all, I'm mostly a watcher but I I'm so confused and was wondering if anyone had any insight.

So on cd12 I had a positive opk, I'm currently CD17 and 5DPO on a whim I decided to do another OPK and it came back positive, so I did a cheapie pregnancy test, blazing positive. Ran to Asda and got a CB Digital and it's saying 2-3 weeks. I had a MMC at the end of August and I have had a negative result since then to comfirm end of miscarriage. How can I possible be pregnant? Any idea whats happening to me? I'm a bit sceptical of it and don't want to trust the pregnanct test. Is it possible to have periods whilst pregnant?

Someone mentioned something about getting a little keepsake to commemorate a loss (sorry I've lost track of who it was!), just want to say I totally get that. I have been considering getting a tiny tattoo but haven't got round to it yet! BUT I have just received a little fertility bracelet (from Etsy) with crystals that are meant to support fertility etc. I don't even know if I believe in crystals but I was drawn to getting something that 'helps'.
xxxx

@turquoisebaby sounds like you need to get yourself to the GP! Fingers crossed for you :)

@turquoisebaby what was your period like? I guess based on the dates it would suggest that it might have been an implantation bleed (I thought they were a myth but heard from plenty of others that it sometimes does happen....)? Though if it was heavy that doesn't really make sense?

@Seahawk80 we go between Christmas and new year, will let you know what it's like! Enjoy your night out with your friend tonight.
I am definitely with you regarding being a planner - I like to always be thinking ten steps ahead and the inability to do that is a disconcerting part of the TTC journey.....

@MrsMGE travelling can definitely wreck havoc on cycles / the body in general - I've worked in China in the past and that would always make me feel out of balance, though I'm in the same time zone as the UK at the moment so probably not too much impact. Still no sign of AF but I am feeling a bit crampy so hope it might be coming soon. Just want to have a fresh new cycle!
I empathise completely with your comments around confidence and shaking off imposter syndrome. I've told younger colleagues a number of times that your 30s are so much better than your 20s and they shake their heads at me in disbelief, but I'd like to think that in ten years time they'll have the same perspective. Life has been tough over the past decade, but I'm also wiser, in a fantastic relationship (my 1st marriage having not been good....), I have a close circle of friends that I can really rely on and a job that I enjoy. I don't have a baby yet but all of those other pieces of the jigsaw are solid and that's hell of a lot better than when I was 20, 25 or 30.....

@Winkat I also have a similar bracelet. I like wearing it because it reminds me of what I have experienced in a subtle way.
I've also considered a tattoo. Someone I know has three tiny hearts on her wrist to represent her her stilllbirth and two subsequent miscarriages, I think it's lovely to have a permanent memorial to her daughter and other losses.

@Winkat I have called the GP this afternoon x

@Avocuddles My period came on the day it was due and was my regular flow and lasted the full 5 days as usual. It's all a bit messed up.

@Avocuddles I so agree with you. I may have been fitter, hotter and more of a party animal (these days it's very rare I'm out, out...and never out, out, out 😂), but my life and mindset are so much better in my 30s.

Re travelling, I had two cycles in the past, one 46 days after travelling to Italy and one 57 days after my trip to Australia. Normally they're off by about 5 days whenever I go abroad, no matter how far xxx

@Winkat I have a keepsake bracelet from Etsy and a keepsake box which I ordered from Amazon and decorated myself. @Avocuddles I am thinking about a tattoo too, although I haven't got any and I don't think tattoos suit me, but I would be fine with a discreet one. Xxx

Hello all.... just saw this thread, thought I'd say hi

I'm 30yrs old. Had my first daughter 2 years ago now, and on 6th TTC cycle for baby number 2.... had 2 cp, including last month. Finding it a bit difficult to get excited again but going to keep trying. Wishing you all the best!

Hello ladies

I hope you don't mind me joining. I have two older children from a previous marriage but started ttc with my new husband last year. I fell pg in jan but it sadly ended in mmc which I had to have surgery for.

I'm 40 and my husband is 46, although we aren't taking any precautions, my husband now thinks we are too old ☹️

@MrsMGE @Winkat @Avocuddles

I make and sell these bracelets on ebay. I've always believed in the power of healing crystals. I send each one out with a healing wish and a prayer. It's really nice when people message me to say they have fallen pregnant.

@Mumlili8 What crystals do you use and what's the theory behind them? I am quite interested in this, my beautician who suffered MCs mentioned therapy with crystals to me. I was not a believer, but having tried acupuncture and reflexology, I found that they had a very positive effect on me and I'd happily try any treatments that improve my energy flow xxx

@turquoisebaby good luck to you, let us know how you get on....

@Mumlili8 I second @MrsMGE 's question re which crystals you use and what they are supposed to do. My fertility crystals bracelet is attached, this is from a local independent business and came with a leaflet explaining what each of them was supposed to do though can't for the life of me remember now.....

@Samk79 @MummaShu welcome to you both and thanks for sharing your stories. I hope you both get your rainbow BFPs soon r🌈

@Avocuddles @MrsMGE

All beads have been selected due to their association with fertility. Many cultures around the world believe that gem stones / crystals may have an effect on the human body and may boost fertility. Also if you bath the beads periodically in moon light it charges them abit like a battery. The stones vibrate at a certain frequency that is supposed to interact with your body. They use quartz in clocks for that very reason.

Moonstone( white) - is thought to boost fertility, balance emotions, help to regulate menstrual cycle and boost female energy.

RoseQuartz ( pink) - is thought to boost overall fertility, be beneficial when trying to become pregnant, while pregnant and during childbirth.

Aventurine(Light Green) – is thought to boost fertility, encourage pregnancy, promote optimism and self confidence, also increase luck.

Red Carnelian (Red / orange) - is thought to boost fertility , energy, sexuality and planned reproduction, help to balance the energy of the female reproductive system. May help to ease PMS and reduce the discomfort of menstrual cramps.

Aquamarine( pale blue) – is thought to be beneficial during pregnancy, believed to be a protective stone.

Unakite(dark green/ brown/ orange mixed) – is thought to help to cleanse and balance, boost fertility and be beneficial during pregnancy and childbirth.

Amethyst(purple) – is thought to help reduce stress and anxiety, fear and wards off negative energies.

Green Jade( medium green) – is thought to have protective properties and boosts fertility, spiritually it may help to support happiness, harmony and relationships. Is also thought to bring good luck.

Haematite(black / dark grey) – is thought to be helpful in relaxing, grounding and circulation. May bolster courage and energies in challenging situations. Is also thought to help to counter negative energies in your environment.

@MrsMGE crystal therapy is slightly different that involves placing crystals on different areas of the body very much like Reiki healing which I also go too

@ReeRi thank you, yes even when just lurking this thread has been so helpful over the last 6 weeks. I hope your cycle settles down.

@LASandOtto glad you enjoyed Munich, I used to visit when I had a friend there. She sadly moved to quite a dull German town! Ha. My old boss used to be like to travel with, I’d fake some urgent work to do in my hotel room just to get a little break. Good luck with the appointment today.

@Littlegoth I’m so sorry for your losses, I hope the tests show something you can work on.

@seahawk80 10 potatoes is good! My gardening is very hit and miss... but this week my friend made a massive batch of carrot soup with carrots we’d grown from seed at her allotment and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so satisfied! Haha. I’m a chuck it in & see what works gardener. As for knitting, my mum is also great at it, I’m very much an amateur but am slowly learning.

@MummaShu Sorry for your loss, I’m like you ttc #2. I think the early excitement will definitely be missing if I get pregnant again, I think that’s normal.

@Samk79 Welcome, sorry to hear your story. I’m a few weeks away from turning 40 & my DH is 44. I’m hoping we’re not too old!! I definitely feel the added pressure of age though.

The chat about travel & cycles is fascinating, I’ve never tracked while travelling before... really interesting stuff.

I’ve also been thinking about a small keepsake in some way to remember my tiny lost baby. Haven’t figured out what feels suitable yet though. Really liking reading the suggestions though.

I’ve been up half the night, DS1 has a fever/bad cold. Meeting a friend for lunch today who told me last night she’s pregnant, due a month after I should have been. Third in two weeks!! I’m super happy for her, especially as they’ve taken a while to get pregnant, but still, had a little cry for myself last night. Right, back to watching In the Night Garden... hope everyone is ok and has nice weekend plans. Quiet one for us as we keep getting ill, think we need some down time xx

Oh, and good luck @turquoisebaby hope you get a good answer from the GP x

@Mumlili8 Oh wow, I didn't realise it's like reiki and that it's different to wearing crystals. Really interesting. So how do the crystals that you wear as jewellery interact with your body? Are you meant to take them off at certain times, touch them, like you say, bath them? Also, you should get your bracelets on Etsy and Notonthehighstreet if you're not on there yet! Xxx

Hi everyone, just popping in to say hello.

I had my first session yesterday, it's not counselling, turns out she's a clinical psychologist and we're looking at actual therapy. Yesterday was hard, she thinks I've got unresolved grief and trauma. I think I skipped the some of the first cycle after my first loss and everything is coming out now after my second. So that might explain why I've been feeling so awful.
Less than 2 weeks until my operation, I have so much anxiety attached to this but it's what's keeping me going, having that focus.

I have been trying to read everything, welcome to the new people, sorry you find yourself here, but these ladies are so supportive :) hi @Samk79 lovely to see you here xx

@VenusStarr hi hun good to hear frome you. Sounds like your talking to the right person. I hope your op going well hun, keep us posted.
@MrsMGE it's all to do with the frequency at with each stone vibrates. All you have to do is keep them next to your skin like in a bracelet form. You can wear them all the time but water can damage the quality of the beads so I'd advise removing for shower/baths. If you Google moonstone for fertility it quite interesting.

Hi ladies

Hope it's ok if I come crawling back. Sadly I got to 10 weeks before the heart stopped this time. Am still waiting for the miscarriage to physically happen, it's been two weeks so far and no sign of any progress.

Feeling incredibly angry. Not just that I keep miscarrying but that I get so far each time, it seems so cruel. I've spent five months of this year pregnant and have nothing to show for it except weight gain and the prospect of more pain and bleeding when the baby/sac finally pass.

I don't even know if we'll try again - I can't imagine I'll ovulate again for months, I'm getting older and age gap is getting bigger. I also don't know I can mentally cope with another miscarriage at 8/9/10 weeks, but there's nowhere else to come for support so I hope you'll put up with me for now.

I think the thing that makes it hardest is having seen/heard the heartbeat each time. Makes me so furious when people say 'less than 5% chance of miscarriage after you hear the heartbeat' like it's a done deal from then on - well I've been in that 5% 3 times now so they can go and swivel on their sodding statistics.

Sorry for the vent. I'll go and check in with the thread in a bit, sad but not surprised to see lots of new usernames x