TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@anny27 see, I was so proud of myself for remembering to ask in EPU if I needed to cancel things & they said they sorted it all. And this is the second time they’ve contacted me, & the second time I’ve had to explain. I’m expecting a call at 42 weeks to ask why I haven’t given birth yet...

@tmc14 that made me laugh the expecting a phone call at 42 weeks asking why you havent given birth 😂 i needed a laugh today haha!

@anny27 happy to help with a laugh. I’ve got a bit of a dark sense of humour. I kind of found it funny in EPU, I was strongly telling the nurses I was fine to go home and felt ok, just as I passed out at the nurses station from not being ok... goes into my ‘if I was a comedian I’d tell that story’ pile.

Hello everyone,

Sorry I'm not quite with it right now, work is extremely busy, I leave just before 8pm every day...just a hot period which will end soon, so no complaints. It's hard to keep up with the thread atm though!

@SunStruck Thanks, lovely, and glad I could help. It's good to be able to concentrate on something else than TTC, and even better if it's all positive. I have my interview in the end of this month, spoke to some of my colleagues and apparently it's a horror, but I'm not particularly nervous. I'll just be myself and if that's not enough then I'll say yes to a competitor sooner than later 😉 Very jealous of your KL trip! I so want to go there and New Zealand, but I need/want to prioritise buying a second car first, I've avoided it for a long time, but I have to face the reality now, DHs car is way too big and complicated for me and as I'm sadly not a female version of Lewis Hamilton, I need something small, nippy and user-friendly 😂

@LASandOtto I've been thinking about you too! How was Munich? I've been there before, Oktoberfest in fact, so a slightly blurred memory, but the Old Town was a delight.

Good luck for Friday, I'm sure some of the better versed ladies on here will give you some useful tips.

Btw, how is the house purchase going?

@Venusstarr I'm sorry you've been feeling down. I'm sending you huge, huge hugs, it can't be easy, especially not around your due date. Just do whatever feels right and don't push yourself. Thinking about you ❤️

I'm in bed already, early for me, but I'm physically and mentally tired. I've been feeling a bit rough this week, it's not a cold, but I'm feeling a bit weak and bloated and generally meh, probably it's too much work. Can't wait to get back to my exercising this weekend, survival mode for now! Xxx

@Anny27 This sounds pretty horrible, I'm sorry things went that way for you. I too lost my appetite (for 2 weeks in fact) after medical management, found that very odd. Not sure if this was psychological or hormonal maybe. Take it really easy now.

On a separate and final note for tonight, it's so nice to know so many of you are talented in knitting and gardening, these are two things that I am truly terrible at! Wish I had the patience and talent to get better! Xxx

@LASandOtto haha thanks, I think I'm
Just getting on with everything to be honest, can't control it so won't stress over it just yet! I wasn't always in this mindset though, but I think with Xmas and nye coming up and lots of people visiting/fun planned, TTC is just taking a backseat in my mind. Still trying just not obsessing! How are you getting in, are you in 2ww?

@MrsMGE I'm sure the interview will go super well, you come across like such a confident, impressive and professional individual here and if you can do that on a forum I am sure you have that in spades IRL! Do you know what, we have friends getting married in NZ in April next year, DH definitely going as they are close friends to him but I'm on the fence. It's so far and expensive, and I still hope I will be pregnant by then. I want to save money and nest, and take it very easy if I'm in the first trimester because of everything that happened in the past. So we'll see, I'm a TBC for now 😄

How are all you ladies getting on?

So I'm certain AF is due today or latest tomorrow, I can feel it. My temp dropped yesterday (but went up slightly today). I'm not upset because I think one cycle inbetween mc and pregnant again is probably good for the lining, and quite frankly I'll enjoy being able to eat and drink in December it's that kind of season with work Xmas parties, mini Xmas days with friends, we Xmas dinners out at pubs etc... we also have 3 sets of friends/family coming out here staying with us every weekend. I'm sick of pretending to drink vodka soda lime (I never usually say no to a drink at events/parties, and I don't want people to know this early). January - March is easy, nothing on, so will be an ideal time if we're so lucky to catch then 😁😁😁

Oh by the way - I'm also really impressed you ladies are good at knitting/gardening etc! I'm not, but then again I don't have a garden 😁😁😁 I hope to have a little herb garden in the future when we buy a house back in the UK, so I can cook with fresh herbs!

I'm really sorry to hear about your traumatic experience @Anny27 😔 hope you feel better soon and can get back to TTC again ASAP if that's what you want 😊

@SunStruck your next few weeks sound just like mine. My best friend lands here Saturday and she's here 3 weekends staying with us, she lives in New York now but she's over in Europe for business so she won't be with us all the time but on the weekends. Also have our other best friend joining as the 3 of us used to live together.

Not in the TWW as such yet as not ovulated after AF yet and tbh I doubt we will get much time for TTC due to aforementioned plans and Xmas is approaching and also, got these tests ahead now, so let's see.

I'm also not any good at crafts, but gardening I do love. Not saying I'm good but I quite like growing some herbs. 😊

Back to the gym today for me after 2 weeks off due to work travels and meetings, looking forward to getting a sweat on and burning off the many carbs from my Germany trip, bread upon bread! 😂

@MrsMGE agree completely with @SunStruck, you sound so self confident and capable, I'm usually a nervous wreck before interviews, I think next year I need to have a peruse of the market and see what's available as I quite fancy a change but this year what with hoping TTC might have a positive outcome, I didn't want to rock the boat. Good luck for the interview at the end of the month and let us know how it goes! Will be wonderful to celebrate some happy news on this thread, also not BFP related.

Munich was really nice, thanks for asking. Lovely to see my friend and her little boy is now one and he is a delight. We had so much fun cuddling and playing with him and my friend is totally happy to have him spend time with us so she could put her feet up a bit and relax whilst we did the feeds and got him dressed etc.

I just love Munich anyway, I lived there for a short year about 10 years ago and I fondly remember the time, not just because I really enjoyed the city itself, but also because of how I was at that time, how I felt, etc. I remember it as a truly happy time of my life and so, always associated a lot of good with that city. I was there with a colleague of mine who is a maternity cover, lovely lady, but oh my she talks non stop about herself. We went for dinner and she was just telling me one story of her life after another without any punctuation or breaks. I don't know if it's just me but when people speak 'at me' like that for a long time, it zaps all my energy. I want to be a good listener but when it's a monologue and no dialogue, I just feel drained after 2-3 hours.

Happy to be home now!!! No more overseas trips now until next year, everything now will be domestic!

What car are you thinking of getting for yourself?

How is all else with you?

@Anny27 I am very sorry to hear of your experience and hope you feel better very soon! Xxx

Hi ladies quick question - how long are your luteal phases? I've been expecting AF to arrive for a few day now. My strongest cheapie opk was on November 3rd so assume I ovulated a day or two after that, if at all. We didn't have unprotected sex until a week after the strong opk as we didn't want to try this month so that we could relax and enjoy our holiday (which we are very much doing... 🍷 🍸 🍹) without being in the 2WW / early pregnancy. I also had completely blank opks throughout last week so I'm not pregnant unless it's an immaculate conception, just wondering where AF is! I must be c16DPO now.....

Hello ladies how are you all.
I'm OK think I did ovulate this cycle yay either yesterday or the day before. Temp did rise today but not a lot only to 36.37 from 36.27 so I'll have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.
I love me crochet. I have so many baby blankets now. Everytime I fall pregnant I start a new one, I think next time I'll break that routine lol
If it's a bfn this cycle I've got one more left before the new year which marks 3 years of trying. Fingers crossed 🤞 this is the one ladies

@Avocuddles My LP is always 5-7 days, hence why I take forever to get pregnant. Although I have just ovulated on CD 12 randomly and im so excited, but trying not to get my hopes up. Do you usually get long cycles or are you fairly regular?

@Avocuddles just a thought you said you haven't dtd since the positive opk but did you happen to dtd in the 3 days leading upto the positive opk

@MrsMGE i think the appetite loss might be emotionally based but i hope that it comes back soon as i am quite slim so cant afford the weight loss haha!

@SunStruck thank you ❤ slowly but surely getting there. Did AF arrive?

@LASandOtto thanks lovely! Are you activitley ttc atm or just seeing how things go?

@Avocuddles my LP is usually 14 days (only 3 months of tracking though)

@Mumlili8 i tracked with temp last time we wetr ttc and i love it andhate it. Love it because i knoe exactly when i ovulated but also hate it as i stress about my temps every morning haha. I always hsve dreams about taking my temperature, its sad haah

@Anny27 I know exactly what you mean about the stress of temping. I've looked into the progesterone pee sticks but I'm not paying £60 for one test. So temping I'm my case isn't always a confirmation certainty either. Sometimes my temp doesn't rise until 2 days after ovulation and sometimes it's a slow rise. I never seem to get this magical temp jump of . 5 that the net bangs on about. It totally stresses me out but I tried not doing it for a cycle and I ended up more stressed wondering if I ovulated and if we timed bding right. TTC is trying to destroy me I sure of it lol

Hi all can you see my post from about ten mins ago? I definitely posted it but now can’t see it 🤔

@MissSparkles81 Sorry you find yourself here. My DH has children and I lost our first child together (my first baby) in February and then had a mc in August.

@tmc14 I find it hard to keep up sometimes too but it’s good in a way that this in a active thread and very supportive. It is tough when other people are due when you should have been.

@VenusStarr Hope you’re ok and the counselling helps.

Thanks @Winkat

@LASandOtto hope the tests go well and give you some answers

Hello @Anny27 Hope you are recovering

@Avocuddles my LP is usually about 14 day’s

BUT I am having a strange cycle as I usually ov around day 14-15 but this weekend at aliens day 14 I had spotting (could have been something superficial like a cut but not sure) and then had lots of CM since yesterday as if i am fertile. Typical that things are unusual the cycle I am not tracking

Hello everyone, hope you're all well!
Back to work this week after the CP last week, my boss was lovely and said I didn't have to be back yet (was so tempted to bugger off home haha) but i need to get back to normal.
I bought a little peg doll to go on my memorial shelf and I really think that helped me get my head around what was happening and start to move on.

Bleeding has just about stopped now thank goddness, hoping to DTD this weekend - more because I'm horny than TTC
Tomorrow I have to do my test to confirm that the pregnancy has finished although I am pretty sure it would be a miracle if it hadn't.

@Avocuddles my LP is about 12 days normally.

@Avocuddles My LP after the MMC was short, around 9 days. Then it got longer, luckily, and it seems to be 12-13 days now. I've been taking B complex and put myself on a fertility friendly diet and it seems to have helped (but maybe things have just got better naturally over time?).

Did you DTD in the run up to O at all?

And are you sure you ovulated then, were you temping to confirm that you have? It definitely wasn't an anovulatory cycle?

I'm having a bit of a temping nightmare, like I said earlier I've been feeling a bit yuck few times recently, my nosecwas blocked and I was breathing through my mouth in the night. I can tell the temps were not right as a result, and annoyingly, it's happened just before and just after the time when I suspect I ovulated. OPKs seem to suggest one thing, FF has gone crazy now and changed my O date to a later one, then today it gave me a warning that O pattern may not have been detected, urgh. I temped this morning and it first showed 36.10C when my mouth was really cold, and then within a minute or so I took another reading and it was 36.75C. Crazy stuff, girls. I think I'm going to have to temp again next month to have a better idea of my O date these days xxx

@Mumlili8 I felt quite emotional reading your post, I think it's a lovely idea and every single one of your blankets is a beautiful keepsake. So special. Xxx

@ReeRi can't see your earlier post....but assume that's it's one that came after? If you've got lots of CM have you managed to DTD over the past few days?

@Murree the peg doll memorial sounds like a lovely idea.

@anny27 @Mumlili8 I completely agree re the stress of temping interrupting your sleep! I don't think it is accurate for me either - I was trying it the second time I conceived and all it did was convince me that I was 'out' for the month when actually I was pregnant!

@Mumlili8 the first time we DTD without protection was a week after what I believed was a positive opk. Although I'm now suspecting that I haven't actually ovulated this cycle which is frustrating given that the doctor performing my HyCoSy 3 weeks ago could see a ripe follicle waiting to be released....
I really hope this is the one for you!!!! Three years is such a long time. 19 months for me now and that feels like a lifetime. I just wish I knew where our journey will take us. The not knowing is the hardest part of the TTC experience in my opinion.

@turquoisebaby my cycles are unfortunately long and irregular. I'd been referred for fertility treatment before I conceived for the first time as my cycle were always 35+ days, and am fortunate enough to still be seeing them under the NHS. I was optimistic that my cycles had improved when I had my first AF just 30 days after my second miscarriage but I'm now on CD34 so that hasn't turned out to be true
On the plus side have my next fertility appointment on December 12th and am assuming the next step will be to try clomid....has anyone on here been down that route?

On a completely unrelated note, I know we've had a few conversations on here about books recently and have a recommendation to share....
I raced through 'Expectation' by Anna Hope this morning (can't beat holiday reading) and really enjoyed it. It follows the lives of four fictional women in their mid-late thirties and examines a number of issues and experiences with which many of us are familiar. It does include infertility and miscarriage so if you find that triggering be warned, but I would definitely recommend it to fans of contemporary fiction, Sally Rooney etc....

@MrsMGE can you share details of the vitamin b you are taking?

I'm suspecting this cycle is anovulatory. On the plus side this means that my fertility referral may prove to be worthwhile....

@SunStruck I'd TOTALLY go to NZ if I were you! You'll have major regrets if you don't go. I see what you mean, but you remember all the conversations we've had about not planning our next pregnancies because it doesn't work like that and not putting our lives on hold because of the "what ifs"? Honestly, I'd be booking those flights and investing in good, comprehensive insurance, both travel and health. Obviously it's totally up to you, but truthfully, in the first trimester you'd be fine to fly anyway, even long haul. I personally would 100% book NZ for March 2020 if it wasn't for the fact that I need to save up 6k in cash for my little runner and I don't want a second loan before our remortgage. And of course end of the year is always expensive with Christmas etc.

I'm also looking forward to enjoying all the nice food and drinks around Christmas! Xxx

@LASandOtto I know what you mean. It's a shame you went with someone like this, it can be draining. But at least you have lots to look forward to before Christmas! How are you feeling before your appointment on Friday?

Like I said above, SunStruck and I had chats before about taking opportunities during TTC. In reality, things may take time for all of us, as we now know. So the conclusion was, there's no point in postponing things because who knows what's going to happen and when. Focusing our minds on something else is good for us now too. Obviously if you're happy where you are, there's no point in changing for the sake of it (and I take the point re having enhanced maternity etc), but if, for instance, you are not happy or you've had it on your mind for a while, then I'd say don't hold back. Men never do...and they'll need to look after the kids in the future too.

I'm debating between a Toyota Aygo and Peugeot 108, I only need it for short local drives so nothing over the top!

I'm doing OK, thanks, still meditate regularly, definitely going back to my gym & exercise after a 3 day break cause work has been so busy.

Thank you to you & @SunStruck for your kind words. It hasn't always been this way, but I've always been blunt and outspoken. Some don't take it well 😂 Confidence came after too many people tried to put me down, including an emotionally abusive ex-partner, after years of being underpaid, after working with several male bosses who were sexist and spoke to people like shit. I've had it, I'm done, I'm not taking this anymore - but I used to in my 20s. Now I know I'm better than the lot of them, I've worked harder, I know my stuff, and I'm not afraid to own it. We're in our 30s, we're obviously very switched on women, it's finally time to shake off the imposter syndrome, right? If not now, then when? Xxx

@Avocuddles This is the one I've got - I looked at the dose in the usual preconception supplements and this one was the closest. I don't recommend Holland & Barrett ones cause they have something crazy, like 5000+% recommended daily dose. I chose a safe bet not to go over the top before conceiving, too much is not good either.

34 days is still a fine cycle, and keep in mind you may have Od later, OPKs don't work for everyone. It's tricky with temps too, isn't it. I have a friend with PCOS and she had to buy Ovusense to work it all out as standard methods didn't work for her. Turns out she is ovulating. Don't worry just yet, you may well have Od but it may not have been picked up. Every woman has anovulatory cycles and even if this has happened to you, it might not happen again. Finally, you're right, if there's an issue, they'll likely give you Clomid to kick-start things. It will be OK. Xxx

Thanks @MrsMGE! I'm taking Pregnacare Max which looks like it contains the same but I'll look at the box properly once I'm back home at the weekend.

It looked like I wasn't ovulating at all but I (and my doctors) were proved wrong when I fell pregnant not once but twice. There is still likely to be an underlying issue however. If AF starts tomorrow that will be day 35 but any longer than that and it creeps into 'abnormal' territory. As I wasn't trying to conceive this cycle I'm not concerned about not ovulating from that point of view, but I just wish that things could be normal and regular so I could have the confidence that there was at least some possibility of a positive outcome.....

Please can I join?

Age: 38
3 mc in June and December 2018 and July 2019
TTC since June 2017

We’ve put TTC on hold as we were referred to the local recurrent miscarriage clinic. Waiting is really really hard, but I tested positive for APS following my first recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment and I’m due the second set of blood tests next month which will confirm whether I definitely do have APS - ovulation is the week after that and will be doing my best for 4th time lucky x