TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

@LASandOtto so glad everything went well with the scan. I'm keeping everything crossed for you this time and for others who are in the early stages as well. Fingers crossed we all get some good news soon.

Thanks everyone. DH is out tonight but we DTD last night so I think we'll go with every other day for this week and see how we get on. I just found out a cousin of DHs is pregnant with her second. That's 4 people we know now who are dye in the first half of this year. Makes me want it to be us even more now.

@Bumblebee999 I'm in a similar boat to you too - I don't have a PCOS diagnosis but have been told my ovaries are 'borderline'. Unlike @SunStruck it doesn't appear that I do ovulate every month, but I have conceived three times now over 9 months (after a year of nothing) so I have definitely ovulated at least three times! The cycles when I have conceived have been relatively short ones - ovulating around day 22 - but some of my other cycles have been 60+ days long. I was due to start letrozole treatment this week and as @SunStruck says maybe that could be an option for you? I've also found acupuncture helpful - my cycles have generally been shorter since I started it and it's good for stress and wellbeing.

How did you find out about your high prolactin levels? I've had so many blood tests through the fertility clinic but not sure if this is one of them?

@Ldawg in my second pregnancy I initially went for a private scan but managed to get an nhs referral via my GP after things didn't look right in that scan. This fine round I've managed to persuade the hospital to give me one at 7 weeks - I got pretty upset when they said I couldn't have one after my previous experiences so they agreed I could come in, but even after 2 miscarriages this isn't offered as standard in my area.....

@LASandOtto very glad all seems well for you at the moment.

I spent m half of the morning on the phone to the GP, fertility clinic and the other hospital where I see the consultant re my clotting, I love the NHS but sorting things out is a nightmare sometimes! Our local area is planning on consolidating maternity services from the current three hospitals into one over the next few years but as things currently stand it's hard work.
As I wrote in my reply below initially the fertility clinic weren't willing to see me as I conceived naturally before starting my meds. I got a bit teary and they agreed I can come in at 7 weeks. No talk of bloods or other support but I think that's standard here if you have had fewer than 3 losses. I'm not that concerned about bloods as neither of my miscarriages were at a very early stage, and I know that if this turns out to be a chemical there's nothing I can do to change that. I am however regularly peeing on a stick (POAS for those enquiring about acronyms! ), I have a load of cheapies so I'm using one daily and an FRER every few days to get reassurance from seeing that line.

I had been prescribed high strength vit d whilst TTC so several phone calls were relating to that - eventually we got to the conclusion that I stop taking the monthly prescription pills and just stick to standard supplements. I'm now taking enoxaparin injections (for my health more than the potential baby), aspirin, pregnacare max, plus an additional vit d pill and an additional folate pill. I'm going for a blood test later in the week to check my vitamin d levels which hopefully will be improved now. I'd like to try to stay relaxed and distract myself from everything but it's pretty impossible with that regime and endless appointments to make!

@Avocuddles oh I see so maybe it is more common than I thought. I had one cycle 60 days and the rest had been 30s-40s day cycles, this was for about a year before I went for investigations. Although they did find cystic ovaries, I believe now that my cycles were irregular mostly due to stress and panic because once I chilled out and started to monitor temp, realised I was ovulating (I just had in my head that I wasn’t Which added to my stress) everything started to normalise and the cycles went into the normal range. Easier said than done to “de-stress” but I had been bereaved at the start of that time and that may have been a factor which got better with time. The dr I saw during investigations had mentioned clomid If I had problems conceiving but things had normalised so much by then I didn’t need it. Will see how this MC impacts my ovulation now though... the prolactin was one of a range of bloods they took at GP- a High level can indicate a gland tumour but mine hadn’t quite reached that range- the gynaecologist told me it can be stress related and it should just be monitored every now and again. That was all before I conceived though so I’m wondering now if I saw a gynaecologist would they be more interested in the prolactin level- it might not have been at a dangerous level for me but maybe it was for foetus? Not sure but if I find out I will post here in case of use to anyone else x

@Bumblebee999 Thanks for sharing your story. Did you just bleed without a warning after your 12 week scan? Did they ask you to come back for another scan? How did the miscarriage happen. Sorry don't answer if it's bit too much to say.

To everyone on here. You are all very strong ladies. I'm glad I came on here. I don't feel so alone anymore. It's been very helpful to hear your stories, struggles and triumphs. You'll be in my prayers.

@mrsmb03 no I really don’t mind sharing I have benefitted from hearing others’ stories. I did bleed without warning at 12 weeks. I had strong pregnancy symptoms until that point, nausea etc. I just got period like cramps one day that progressed to light bleeding within an hour or so, over the next 8 hours I got extremely heavy bleeding and ended up in hospital. I had an internal examination and scan which confirmed the pregnancy had ended and that I had had a complete miscarriage. I hope reading this doesn’t scare or worry anyone who is pregnant, just sharing my story. I know that many women with cramps or light bleeding go on to have healthy pregnancies. X

@mrsmb03 forgot to say- no follow up scans or appointments they just advised me to come back if I didn’t get a negative pregnancy test in 2 weeks but I did get one so there is no more follow up x

@Bumblebee999 I see. Wow. In a way you were lucky that you didn't have to have the awful wait of a 2nd scan and wait to miscarry. Were you in a lot of pain when you were bleeding? How many days did you bleed? Was the pain manageable just like period cramps? Was it your first pregnancy? The baby was 8 weeks on your 12 week scan? Sorry so many questions.

Thank you and Good luck.

@mrsmb03 yes unfortunately a lot of pain for maybe 4 hours after that less painful and I bled for 4 days during which it was manageable pain just like period pains. No I had a scan at 8 weeks which showed heartbeat and the baby the correct size for 8 weeks. I didn’t have another scan until after the miscarriage at 12 weeks that was only to Confirm that it had completed.

@SunStruck oh my god your DH sounds as thoughtful as mine in this instance! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I mean... dress down dilemma or accompany you to the scan?! So when is the scan? Are you in the Middle East, seeing as you're off on Fridays? I thought so before as you had mentioned it beforehand that you're back to work on Sunday's. Glad you're feeling fine otherwise and blood test was good also, are they re-testing?

@Shefliesonherownwings good luck during your fertile cycle, I've got my fingers crossed for you! Sending you lots of love as I know you're having a tough time!

@Ldawg I've paid for all my tests privately after my second MC and am now paying for pregnancy monitoring privately too. My OH and I had parked some money for investigations or IVF or whatever it may be needed for, so that's what's we are using it for now. Let's hope we are third time lucky.

@Avocuddles I respect the NHS but some things are so backwards at times and complicated. Unnecessarily adding to your already stressful situation I bet but sounds like you navigate it all and you're fine. We've got each other through the next few weeks for handholds!!!!

@BunnytheBlueWhale
Hey there! Haven’t been able to post as much so just checking in . I have a question since you were talking about being fertile before ov I wanted to know how long after your peak do u DTD? I am 4 days out from my peak sign and 3 days possible since ovulation cuz my temp went up so I calculated 2 days prior . How long do you usually stop doing the deed after peak? My DH is kinda tired . And me too!

BFN again - gutted

@lasandotto haha I know! I mean he would always come, but it annoyed me he thought day of the scan wasn't good just due to dress down 🙄 he would rather me book it for Wednesday but as I said, if it's a bad scan I don't want to go back to work straight away, I'd like a few days off to process. Yes we live in the Middle East! The blood test was good and the Dr said no need to re-test, so I'll just book my scan in for Thursday 6th of Feb 😄 when is your next scan? You're paying privately for it?

@avocuddles it's great they've agreed to see you to scan at 7 weeks! Just for your peace of mind. I'm also on a cocktail of meds, Pregnacare, omega 3, baby aspirin and progesterone pessaries. I'm glad we have this support, it's a scary time! I'm also thinking of maybe buying a digital pregnancy test to test end of next week (or beginning of week after) to see if it shows 3+? But it will ruin my day if it doesn't so I'm in two minds about it. I want to do it a few days before my scan just to not get my hopes up if it only shows 2 weeks for instance! 🤔

@bumblebee999 I also have a lot of cysts in my ovaries, but all hormone tests (and diabetes test) came back completely clear. I also don't have any of those traits typical for PCOS. I really think it won't be a problem for you to conceive with a sticky one - Me and @avocuddles are exactly the same in terms of PCO, but still pregnant 3 times in the space of 9 months. the thing is that me and. @avocuddles are 36 years old, so this might be one of the reasons for miscarriages (not necessarily PCO). How old are you? One supplement you should definitely try to improve egg quality (as I've heard this could be a bit diminished when you have cysts in ovaries) is myo-inisotol. I've taken them for months now and I think it helps regulating the cycle (and apparently helps improve the egg quality). Another supplement I have been taking for egg quality is CoQ10, but I've taken the stronger version called ubiquinol which is the concentrated version. My fertility Dr recommends to take both to improve egg quality, especially for us with PCO.

I also find temping helps immensely. I'm using Naturalcycles. I do also use Clearblue Advanced Digital OPK though, and mostly it has worked on me. It hasn't really worked the cycles after my miscarriages (I never got a solid smiley, just blinking), but I know I did ovulate as I was temping.

@ldawg I live abroad and we have good private healthcare through work which covers pregnancy, so I'm only paying a tiny cover charge (less than 10 quid) for extra scans because I'm high risk (recurrent miscarriage). However, it does not cover fertility treatment, so when I was on my Letrozole protocol we had to pay for the scans (to monitor follicle growth) and meds ourselves.

@mumlili8 I'm so sorry to hear that 😥 have a nice glass of wine and a bath this weekend, you deserve it! I hope AF passes quickly and painlessly ❤️

@morganMom no need to keep DTD after confirmed ovulation (which is 24-48 hours after your peak), and you're temping so you know you've ovulated! Just relax tonight 😁😁😁

@SunStruck 6th Feb is a day before my birthday - have my fingers and toes crossed for you. My next scan is the day we move house on 31st Jan so I really hope it will be fine. Continue to keep my fingers crossed for us all! What are you now, 4 weeks and something?

I'm on 2 clexane injections daily, 1 baby aspirin, vitamin D 1000, progesterone pessaries and a daily progesterone injection called lubion. Also taking a thyroid med called levothyrone and predisone. I've got an autoimmune disease and my clinic does test for NK cells and I did the Chicago test too and some values came back quite high. I'm paying for everything privately, my insurance doesn't cover any fertility related items.

@Mumlili8 I'm really sorry about BFN, when is AF due?

@SunStruck forgot to say, I wouldn't bother with the digi tests to say how many weeks. I've read they're honestly just more to confirm yes or no pregnancy, not how many weeks. I doubt they can measure hCG as well as a blood test and there's a lot of variables given how diluted the urine used for the test is, etc. Don't cause yourself unnecessary worry, if you want to check those results go for repeat blood tests as they're accurate. 😊

Thanks @SunStruck. I’m 33 so not far behind you guys. It’s good to know you both have conceived even with the PCO. It was delighted that I could conceive. I didn’t think much about the next hurdle of keeping the baby until I lost it. Thanks for the tips on the supplements I will definitely ask the dr about those. X

Hi all.

@Mumlili8 I'm sorry you've had a BFN. Crossing my fingers that the show's not over until AF arrives....

@Morganmom (and others) you might find the image below helpful re the optimum times to DTD - this comes from my fertility clinic. They also recommend sticking to every other day (maybe with a 'bonus' go after a peak opk) as this gives the swimmers sufficient time to recharge in terms of both volume and speed. This said, this time round we had been using contraception in anticipation of starting fertility meds, and only had unprotected sex on the day I received an encouraging (though not definitely peak) opk. It feels a bit strange that it took just one shot as when we started our TTC journey we were at it like rabbits but it took a full year to get my first positive.

@SunStruck I also took ubiquinol and vitamin d whilst TTC. I was on monthly very high dose (prescription) vitamin d when TTC but have had to stop them now and instead take 1000ug daily (400 in the pregnacare plus an additional 600).
Apparently the ubiquinol takes a couple of months to impact on egg quality, I'd been taking it for around four months this time so crossing my fingers that it may have helped. (@Bumblebee999 note that if you do take ubiquinol you should stop taking it if you get a BFP. The one I took was www.amazon.co.uk/Ubiquinol-Softgels-Enhanced-Absorption-Coenzyme/dp/B00U0G1HVU/ref=mpsa17?keywords=ubiquinol&qid=1579598754&sr=8-7 - it's an expensive supplement but this was the best value high dose one that I found).
I do wish I had been prescribed progesterone but try to take comfort in the fact that the recent trials have not found any proven benefit for women in my circumstances. I will definitely be pushing for it if I have a third loss though!
We could probably afford to go private but as I have a fairly complex medical history due to my blood clot I think for the time being it's probably best to remain in the NHS as I have access to a very experienced specialist consultant for that side of my issues. I was told that without the blood thinners my risk of another life threatening clot would be between 1 in 5 and 1 in 2 which are pretty scary odds!
I've used the digital pregnancy tests - they do give an element of comfort but they're notoriously unreliable so I would wait and take one at least a few days after you would 'expect' a particular result, and not get hung up on it if it's not as you expect. I had a 1-2 on Sunday, I might use the other one in the pack towards the end of the week or at the weekend as seeing a 2-3 would be comforting. I do take comfort in seeing pregnancy test lines get darker and darker. I took another FRER last night and the lines were pretty much the same colour which made me feel a lot better (for the time being). In my experience you'll get a 2-3 on the clearblue when the test line on an frer is stronger than the control line.

@LASandOtto yes I'm very glad we've got each other at this scary time! It might be a good idea for us to move such conversations to the graduates thread though soon as do appreciate that early pregnancy talk may be triggering for some?

@avocuddles sure,where is that thread? Or should we start a new one? I also concerned it might be triggering, but not sure I want to join a fully fledged graduates thread where people are near full term (as it is still so early for me). What's your thoughts?

Thanks @avocuddles and @lasandotto for your thoughts in regards to the digital test. I'll try to hold off for now :) I'm currently 4 weeks and 1 day. Early!

@Sunflower1608 I definitely see a line too.

@Mumlili8 I am so sorry about your BFN ... sending you lots of love.

So AF is finished for me so back on with the opk's this morning. @Avocuddles I couldn't download that image but I got the general gist of it. It was really helpful so will def try and try being the word to dtd a few times before ovulation this month.

@SunStruck it's at The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3767241-The-Graduates-of-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-thread-6-The-Penguin-Huddle

I was on it previously, at that point most ladies were early on but a lot are quite far into their pregnancies now. I don't think I'll feel comfortable there until I've had my 7 week scan as at this point my default position is to assume the worst. I'm either 4 weeks or 4 weeks 1 day today.

@MissSparkles81 the gist of it is that days -3 to -1 (before ovulation) all have a very similar chance of success, but even at day -4 the chance is high. Good to know there are multiple opportunities!

Awesome! Cuz I just feel like added stress takes away from it. My husband looks at me like “ do u need me to get on that whipping post again” even though usually he luvs to do it!

@Avocuddles thanks I’ve been staring at this graph all morning! I’m a visual person so it’s great and congrats esp on getting it on a one time shot!!! I hope I can get my BFP that way. We just had our pregnancy lost in Nov so 2 months out but we still really want it