TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

@ReeReeR well done for doing it!

I think the gp would have said not to take the migraine tablets at all if there were any issues with taking them whilst ttc, so I think you're fine. Hope you're feeling better!

@ReeReeR glad your midnight walk went well.

First day back at work for me today since MC2. I'm back at the hospital tomorrow for a rescan to check everything is gone, emotions are very mixed, on one hand I'm pleased to have the distraction of work but on the other I'm definitely feeling a little fragile. Think we're going to wait until I've had a period to TTC as think it will be beneficial to have a little time to try to bring down stress levels. I hope it comes quicker than last time though which took over 50 days!

@Avocuddles I hope your first day back goes ok and that the scan tomorrow shows everything is gone so you can start to move forward. Waiting sounds sensible, I'm far too impatient though and know I'll want to try again straight away.

Hi all. Bit of a rubbish update from me, got a faint but definite BFP on a frer on Sat am. Now 48hrs later negative again, so I guess that's my second CP on the bounce since MC. Feeling more gutted than I thought I would, I'd give myself a break from but aware of time ticking and the gap with existing DC getting wider. So in limbo again and just waiting for a bleed.

@ReeReeR well done on the walk! I'm sure the migraine tablets will be fine, it'll be well out of your system by the time implantation (hopefully!) happens.

@Russkispy that's incredible! So pleased for you!

Hi @Marmite83 and @Treaclepie19, welcome but so sorry for your losses.

@June1987 sorry you had such a tough week. New babies are so hard. I was working as a midwife on the postnatal ward after my first miscarriage and it was so hard keeping myself together.

@Seahawk80 how did the yoga go?

Ps name change fail - am @Noisysparrows!!

@SunshineCrocodile I’m sorry for another chemical. It must be so hard when you get all excited to find yourself just days later with a negative test.
I thought i had it bad being a nurse but being a midwife during times like this must be hard.

@Avocuddles I hope your first day back went ok. I found work to be mostly helpful as it was a definite distraction.

I think I’ve ovulated after the MC but can some of you help out with the pictures to check to see I definitely have. The app says so but just want opinions as wasn’t sure u would after MC.

@June1987 looking at the pictures I would say somewhere between cd23 and cd25. Fx hun.
@SunshineCrocodile I'm sorry for the chemical, hun I've had 3 now back to back and they are awful. I hope your next bfp sticks. I took 4 day after each cp to bleed. Be king to your self xx oh and I love the name change.
@Avocuddles @ReeReeR @Marmite83 @Treaclepie19 @Seahawk80 and all the ladies I've not tagged, thinking off you and sending baby dust and sticky baby glue your way xx

I've just got back from my gp appointment and he is referring me to gynaecology as he thinks I have Asherman's syndrome. And he's putting me on cyclogest (think that's the name) in the mean time while we wait for an appointment incase a miracle happens and one sticks. He understands that not trying for me it as much if not more stress then trying is. I'm getting more and more desperate as the months tick by because of DH age, he's 45 now and I'm 38. He says he wants to quit trying when he reaches his 47th birthday which gives us just over 18 months left of trying. He doesn't want to be too old to be an active Dad, which I get but the pressure is so real.
Didn't temp this morning because I didn't sleep all night due to cramps and have had them since ovulation ( every tww since my erpc has been the same) AF not due till Thursday. Doc says it's classic symptoms for Asherman's, very painful, very light periods and multiple cp's. Why is this not simple.

Take care ladies x

@Mumlili8 glad that your GP appointment has possibly thrown up some answers - hope you don't have to wait long for your appointment (and of course that your rainbow baby sticks before then).

@Marmite83 thanks for your good wishes. First day back at work was ok though I was a bit disappointed that my line manager didn't so much as ask if I was ok - she just ignored me for the most of the day with no acknowledgment that I'd been out of the office all last week.

Will let you all know how the hospital appointment goes tomorrow. I'm relatively confident that everything should be ok though guess it's still worth checking that there's nothing untoward going on. Used a cheap pregnancy test strip today and there was only the faintest squinter of a line remaining 6 days after I passed the majority of the pregnancy, bleeding seems to have come to a stop today too so I'm hoping that my cycle will kick back in more quickly this time. Although I was technically slightly further along this time, with MC number 1 I bled for about a fortnight, took a full 3 weeks to get a negative, and almost 8wks to get my first period.

Been thinking more about whether to start trying yet and I think we will probably hold off TTC this cycle as if I did get a BFP I would be away in the canaries at the same point I've miscarried the last 2 pregnancies, and I wouldn't want to miss out on the chance to get it tested at the RMC if the worst came to the worst. We're also likely to get our initial fertility clinic appointment through soon so would be interested to hear if there are any other investigations they can do that might increase our chance of success next time round. On the other hand though the thought of actively trying not to conceive makes me feel pretty uncomfortable....what if this was meant to be 'the month'???

@SunshineCrocodile so sorry about the chemical hun! Look after yourself x

@Mumlili8 glad the gp appointment has shed some light on what's potentially going on, and hopefully the gynaecologist will be able to confirm. I've not heard of Asherman's before so will google it, but I hope it's treatable? Really hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

@Avocuddles that's rubbish that your line manager didn't check up on you. Did she know why you were out? Good luck at the hospital today! I think if you feel like taking a break is the right thing to do, then you should do that. It will probably be good for your body to recover fully from the mc so you're ready for the next bfp!

AF showed up for me this morning so onto yet another cycle. I was fully expecting her so I'm not that shocked or surprised, but there's always a bit of hope right until the last minute. Got awful cramps as well, so it's going to be a long day - I can tell!

@thelittlepeanut my line manager knows all about my pregnancy loss (and the longer journey to reach this point) but she's not exactly known for her empathy, she tends to be pretty wrapped up in her own thing but the plus side from that is on a day to day basis I'm very much left to my own devices....

Hospital appointment this morning went ok though being back in the EPU stirred up all kinds of emotions. Scan showed that the majority has passed now, there's a small bit of tissue hanging on but nothing to be concerned about, should make its own way out eventually or come out with my period. It feels strange being back to square one again. There's something liberating about temporarily not being pregnant and not having the fear of loss over my head after a tense month, but the cloud of fear regarding whether or not we'll be able to get pregnant again is descending.... Crystal ball anyone? 🔮

@Avocuddles doesn't take a huge effort to just check in with someone to make sure they're ok.. but at least she doesn't bug you on a daily basis! Have to weigh up the pros + cons :)

Glad the hospital appointment showed nothing to be concerned about. Try and enjoy not being pregnant by doing things you otherwise wouldn't be able to do.. when AF shows up I always have a pretty big glass of wine. But yes, I'd love some of that crystal ball insight too!!!

@Avocuddles, sucks that your manager didn't even ask if you were ok, maybe she didn't want risk upsetting you. Glad the scan went well. We spent nearly 2 years ttc before turning to IVF and finally getting pregnant so I totally get the worry about whether you'll get pregnant again. If you find a crystal ball I'd love to borrow it!

@thelittlepeanut, sorry AF has appeared, it sucks. Enjoy that big glass of wine!

Good morning all,

Apologies for my absence - things have been a bit difficult, yesterday was our son's due date and we scattered his ashes.

Catching up on so much now!
@Russkispy - wow! good luck for the transfer end of Oct! Really excited for you.

@ReeReeR completely understand that worry over medicine - if you are unsure you can always double check whether that is just via a phonecall to the GP surgery or even popping into a Pharmacy to ask. After my Section I was given meds to help with my mood and pain which stated they werent suitable for BFing! Turns out the Dr didnt bloody think to see if I was expressing for my NICU baby! So Drs can mess up sometimes.

@Avocuddles Really hoping AF is quicker to show up than 50 days this time, that limbo is awful! Is really tricky heading back to EPU too, sending you love.

@thelittlepeanut totally the same regarding AF, always have a very large glass of wine or two and then a long and hot bath too! Hoping the cramps have eased up for you now at least?

oh @Mumlili8 why would your DH put that added pressure of a time limit on TTC, not what either of you need. I am so sorry!

I am sorry about your CP @SunshineCrocodile - btw make sure you do record that as a MC with your healthcare providers. I just took a CP as a CP rather than a MC because of how they are spoken about on MN but at EPU the MWs and Drs told me they dont recognise the term CP, it is a MC still. Which meant my 2nd MC should have actually been my 3rd and if I had recorded them I would have been eligible for testing during that 3rd MC! So make sure you dont miss out.

No period here for me but took a FRER yesterday and negative. According to my temps, AF should have arrived yesterday BUT my temps are most likely off because I had that ear infection which did occasionally see me get high temps of 37+ during the day so Im not sure if I have ovulated when FF predicts or whether I ovulated only 5/6 days ago. I'll post my chart so people can see what I mean. Either way, massive temp drop today so maybe AF is on her way or implantation? who knows, ey?

My chart! You can see where I had my ear infection my temps are up. Plus CD20 I had what felt like ovulation pain?

@TwittleBee love to you, it must have been a very difficult and emotional time. Hope your dip is implantation!

Thanks for tip re CP, to be honest I've now got 2 MMC at ten weeks, a disappearing twin and three or four CPs under my belt but as I've also had 2 healthy pregnancies en route it's highly unlikely I'd be referred for anything - previous fertility investigations flagged up nothing but pcos. I know I'm privileged because we do already have DC and if nothing were to happen with TTC now I don't think either of us would be up for anything invasive. So it's a case of wait and see. We've discussed how long we're willing to keep trying for and I don't think I can keep up the TTC game more than another few months, it's so stressful and all consuming and the gap between youngest dc and a new baby would already be 5 years + as it is. So starting to consider when would realistically be best to draw a line under it. I can't quite bear to let it go and accept it just yet though so will keep trying for now. Or will if AF deigns to arrive.

@Avocuddles I'm sorry your manager was so thoughtless. It doesn't take much to acknowledge someone else's loss with a little kindness.

@thelittlepeanut sorry AF arrived. Fingers crossed for this cycle.

Hi all.

@TwittleBee hope you're ok after what must have been an incredibly sad and difficult day yesterday. I hope you get some happy news soon, fingers crossed that you ovulated later and this could still be your month....

Had an interesting acupuncture experience today. My therapist knew about the second miscarriage and we talked through that in the first half of the session. I explained what I'd been told at the hospital yesterday about a clot still hanging on, so she said that she'd focus today's treatment around grief as well as blood flow to clear out the uterus. I'm always somewhat sceptical about whether these things work, but within an hour of getting home I passed a large clot! I hadn't been bleeding over the past 24 hours and have had no cramps or pains at all so it was slightly unexpected, but seems as if acupuncture might be pretty powerful stuff....! I'm hoping that that might be the end of the miscarriage, but will see.

Also arrived home to a letter from the fertility clinic and we have an initial appointment on October 15th! I'm not sure what if anything they'll advise given that I've now conceived naturally twice, but as it's based on the same place as the recurrent miscarriage unit that I'm not eligible for I'm hoping there might be at least some positives to gain from it and that we won't just be sent on our way.... If anyone has advice on what to expect from the initial session that would be very welcome. We've both already had a barrage of tests as in our area the GP has to arrange most of them in advance of the referral....

That's great news about the appointment @Avocuddles also about the acupuncture. I had my first session last week after a very strange short cycle and so far this cycle seems much more normal on CD11, second session tomorrow so hopefully it will keep everything going smoothly. Fingers crossed for all of us x

Hi could I join you all? I have been ttc for 17 months now and got my first BFP on Sunday, but unfortunately have had a confirmed miscarriage today I have one DC Aged 6 already.
I don't know when I will start trying again as I'm so scared it will happen again x

Welcome @lavenderlove I'm sorry about your loss and hopefully you will find lots of support here. I also have one DC and had a BFP after two years of trying but unfortunately ended in MC at 10 weeks. Trying again is a rollercoaster but fingers crossed it will be worth it

Thank you @Alarica I'm so sorry about your loss too. I hope it will be worth it for us both. I'm already feeling a bit more positive about everything. It's strange because with my first pregnancy I don't think miscarriage entered my head at all, and now it's going to be the only thing I think about when I get any future BFP's

Hi all. Mind if I join you? Am 39 TTC #1 since November 18. Have had two MC this year in March and August - longest one got to 6weeks but didn’t MC until 12weeks. Now in first proper cycle after 2nd MC and about to start TTC again. Am trying to stay positive and hope that it will be third time lucky for us.

Sorry that so many of us have suffered losses but glad to find such a supportive group. We haven’t told anyone IRL about TTC so it is good to be able to talk about it with people who understand x

Hi and welcome @lavenderlove and @Bartsmum1980.
@Bartsmum1980 your situation is similar to mine, I've being ttc number 1 since June 2018 and have had two MCs in May and September this year, both of which stopped developing at around 6 weeks and miscarried between 7 and 8. I hope we all get our rainbows soon. Much as this is a lovely board I don't want to return again! x

@TwittleBee sending love your way! Hope it was a beautiful day despite how hard it must have been!

@SunshineCrocodile I'm sorry you're thinking about giving up - but I totally agree that ttc is such a stressful game! Hope you get your rainbow baby soon.. and 5 years isn't a huge age gap!

@Avocuddles that's amazing regarding the acupuncture session, hopefully that's the end of the mc! Great news about the appointment at the fertility clinic as well.. I don't have any experience on what to expect, but I hope they're able to offer some positive advice. Let us know how it goes!

Welcome @lavenderlove & @Bartsmum1980 Sorry you both find yourselves here, but I hope you find the support you need here!

Not much to report from my side, on cd3 so patiently waiting for AF to pack her bags and leave. I'm just at the hospital waiting to have my FSH & LH blood tests. Progesterone tests came back normal, which I guess is a good thing. DP got his appointment confirmed for 8 Oct which is a week after my FW so it works out quite nicely, as he has to abstain for a 5-7 days. Means it doesn't impact us still ttc!

AF showed up this morning and I am a wreck - have only just managed to pull myself out of the hole I have been in since 7am this morning. Just bloomin thought maybe we would have some luck after the shit time we have been through - but if that was a thing then I guess none of us women would be here would we? If we only got our fair share of bad luck then we would all surely have had enough bad luck by now.

Anyway, had myself 2 large glasses of wine already this morning that seemed to help along with a good long fricking cry.

I have my first counselling session today with Petals Charity - I have text them asking if it can be rearranged to not be in the maternity ward - like whose stupid idea was it to put bereaved parents' counselling rooms inside the fricking maternity ward?!

Jeez, I'm sorry I am just so bloomin bitter today! Especially after last night when after sharing our "newborn" photo shoot images my cousin put her actual newborn shoot photos up too... was a horribly stark contrast. At the time it felt like a lovely thing to still do and when I received the images yesterday it felt lovely too but now they just seem really sad to look at after seeing her newborn images.

Right, after I got that rather self-centered rant out the way...

Welcome newbies - I am genuinely sorry you find yourselves here, life is bloomin cruel and shit sometimes.

Hope AF is treating you well @thelittlepeanut ? and of course good luck with all this testing! Must be a lot of effort to go through all that?

oh @SunshineCrocodile that thought of considering to draw the line with TTC is a hard one I imagine. Just seems so odd that today they are still unable to provide conclusive answers to why some women keep MCing and solutions to help them keep their babies.

wow that is pretty strange coincidence other wise though @Avocuddles ! Good luck with that fertility appointment too, as I said to SunshineCrocodile, it seems crazy they cant help women with MCs yet.