TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

If you haven't seen it already I'd suggest you all take a look at what I personally thought was a great article about miscarriage in The Guardian on Tuesday. It appeared on my Facebook feed yesterday and really hit home so I 'shared' it, and was overwhelmed by the response. I've never so much as hinted about my miscarriages or fertility issues on social media before, but felt liberated to have shared it and have had several colleagues either reply directly talking about their own losses or come up to me at work and share stories. I certainly don't want to feel defined by my sad experiences, but if I can help one person to feel less alone, or be a shoulder to cry on for someone who experiences a loss in the future, then that would be a small good thing to come out of something that so far has only felt negative....

@MrsG3 this is the thread x

@ceebee21 thank you xxx

A wave hello.... we had a MMC diagnosed last Monday at our 12 week scan followed by medical management on Tuesday. Still going through the physical aftermath at the moment but are hoping to TTC again once things settle back down. Wonder if I could join you ladies as I don't really have anyone in a similar position to talk to x

@TwinkleStars15 my daughter is 7. Her dad had a baby 6months ago with his new partner and she adores being a big sister. Every day she asks when am I going to have one.

@turquoisebaby its so hard for little ones to understand the concept of death, and that mummy hasn't got control of it. My daughter woke up crying the other day that she would end up an animal (recarnation)when she dies and me an angel and we wouldn't be together.

@Treaclepie19, @Marmite83 and @VenusStarr I'm sorry this week hard for you. Thinking of you all😔

On the subject of friends being rubbish. I couldn't even tell my parents I was pregnant because they would of probably been happy I lost it. Both always comment that I shouldn't have another one. But my heart aches so much, and it's hard feeling alone in my grief but having to pretend I'm ok around the kids, at work, around family and friends.

My AF was due today, got a BFN. I somehow had my hopes that I would catch straight away, so many articles online say you're more fertile etc. So I just thought I would get over the miscarriage by being preggers asap. So both have hit home today. And feeling a bit rubbish

@torquoisebaby it's a tough age to understand death, my DD1 was 2 when DD2 died and is 2.8 now. To start with I had a lot 'find it' comments when I said that the baby wasn't in my tummy anymore and I always used direct language not lost etc. Hugs to you both.

Anyone else finding it even tougher now that it’s Baby Loss Awareness Week?

I find it to be a bit of a double edged sword @TwinkleStars15. On one hand it's a constant reminder but on the other I really do think it's a good thing that baby loss is being talked about more openly and makes you realise just how many people have experienced it.

Thank you everyone❤
I'm so desperate now to be pregnant again and missing our little one so much. I've just fallen asleep on the sofa instead of tidying up after dinner so I'm definitely not myself.

I caved I'm either 8 or 10 dpo tested with frer bfn, gutted but not surprised. Now the long wait for AF to show up or not as it so light these days it not really worth having. Still waiting for the referral for gynaecology to test for Asherman's syndrome. This week is really getting to me too. Plus the one year anniversary of the loss of my longest pregnancy (12 weeks). I want to go to bed tonight and wake up next year please x

@avocuddles what is an anvulatory cycle? There is so much about fertility and conceiving I've yet to learn. Had a nosey at the Guardian article, it's a really intresting read good on you for sharing it on fb.

@sunflower1608 Don't let your parents views get you down. Virtual hug [heart]

@Bluebelltulip it really is tough for them to understand, my midwife advised us to be direct and that telling our children is usually harder for the parent. Children take everything in their stride.

@MrsG3 welcome and sorry to find you here

@turquoisebaby an anovulatory cycle is one where you don't ovulate. Until I fell pregnant for the first time I (and my doctors) suspected that it didn't ovulate at all, two pregnancies on I clearly have done but I sadly suspect that the issues I've had in terms of long and irregular cycles may link to the losses. I had a major DVT (blood clot) ten years ago so am already treated with blood thinners during my pregnancies but these haven't helped yet.

@TwinkleStars15 @Marmite83 baby loss awareness week is definitely a double edged sword. The response I have had to sharing a miscarriage article on Facebook has however been completely overwhelming, I've had several friends / acquaintances reply with their own stories, previously I believed that I didn't personally know anyone who had had more than one loss but I now know three people who have lost two or more pregnancies, including one who tragically lost triplets and i previously had no idea. I've also had private messages from others sharing their stories and thanking me for making them feel less alone. I certainly didn't intend to be some kind of poster girl for miscarriage but I feel a lot better having shared my grief rather than carrying it round bottled up inside. I know that for a number of reasons opening up about pregnancy loss isn't for everyone and I was very uncertain as to whether I should share the link or not, but the response has been very positive and hopefully helpful for a number of ladies.

@Treaclepie19 @Sunflower1608 @VenusStarr I'm sorry you've been feeling low. We are always here you. @Mumlili8 I'm sorry about your BFN. I also have very light AF, I can't help but wonder if this is significant but who knows....

@MrsG3 so sorry to hear about your MMC.
I hope the physical symptoms are over quickly and that you don't have to wait long for your rainbow baby x

Hello, mind if I join? Had a miscarriage on Wednesday, at almost 11 weeks but baby had stopped growing at almost 9 weeks. Trying to process everything. Trying to concentrate on the fact I have a perfect almost two year old, and that it seems my miscarriage was quick, went from spotting on Tuesday morning to blood/clots gushing out of me Wednesday lunchtime. EPU confirmed miscarriage & removed what they think was all the tissue later on Wednesday. So fingers crossed for a relatively quick physical recovery. We’re also lucky in that everyone involved has been lovely so far. But just feel sad & devastated. I turn 40 soon and felt so lucky to be pregnant again. I hope that wasn’t our only chance at a second child.
Sending love to you all x

I'm so sorry for your loss @tmc14, be kind to yourself and don't push yourself to feel better, it takes time to process everything. This is a lovely supportive thread.

Hi @tmc14,

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I went through similar last week, however I had an ERPC before the clots / bleeding became too intense.

It's such a rubbish thing to go through... but as @Marmite83 said, be kind to yourself and take time to rest. Just do what is best for you.

xx

Thank you @Marmite83 & @ceebee21

I think at the moment I’m in the mood of just still wanting to be pregnant, so desperate to crack on. I think once things settle down a bit in my head I’ll probably want a break before ttc. My husband is great at looking after me and a quiet few days lie ahead.
@ceebee21 so sorry for your loss last week, I hope you’re doing ok. xx

Hi @tmc14 I'm so sorry to hear you lost your little one. We lost our baby last Tuesday after 12 week scan showed no heartbeat. It's such a hard time isn't it, I'm finding some days I'm ok and other days I'm all over the place at the moment. I've been out and about today and just keep seeing pregnant ladies and little babies everywhere. I'm 36 and have 2 other children so I know what you mean about counting your blessings but don't give up hope your rainbow baby. Wishing you lots of luck and sending love. Positive thoughts, we're in this together xxxx

Hello,

Hope you don't mind me joining!

I've had 4 miscarriages (2 MMC at 7 & 9 weeks, 1 MC at 5 weeks and 1 Molar pregnancy which was found at our 12 week scan)

My last miscarriage was in August just had a HSG test on Wednesday and have heard it increases change of pregnancy for the following 3 months so here's hoping!

@Mumlili8 sorry for the bfn Have you tested again? When do you expect to get an appointment?

@tmc14 @CharlSmith19 @MrsG3 sorry you are having to join us Everyone here is lovely.

I’ve been doing OPK’s and am on day 4 of flashy smiley (not a hint of a positive on cheapies) but today I have ewcm, which is when I would expect to OV (bearing in mind my last miscarriage was only 2 weeks ago). I don’t know if I’m OV’ing or not - ewcm but no positive OPK. Could this happen in an annovulatory cycle maybe? I’m hoping for a static tomorrow but feeling a bit down about it.

@TwinkleStars15 hi hun thanks for asking after me. Yes tested again today Bfn test couldn't be whiter 😢. As for ewcm in an anovulatory cycle, Yes unfortunately you can get all the signs even a positive opk and still not ovulate. The only way to be sure you ovulated is bbt or blood test at possible 7dpo. But apparently you can still produce progesterone from a failed ovulation too but not enough to raise your bbt and the blood test numbers should be around 30 - 60. It's a bloody mine field this ttc lark.
@tmc14 @CharlSmith19 @MrsG3 welcome and I'm sorry for your losses x

As for me - blah nothing to say except I'm trying to figure out how to get pregnant and stay that way for 40 weeks. There must be some magic trick to it lol

@Mumlili8 oh sorry to hear that It’s such a shit situation to be in. Can you try and do something nice over the weekend in the vain hope of making yourself feel slightly better? My mum has no idea that I was pregnant and booked me in for a massage as a treat, turns out I miscarried the day before and I didn’t want to go, but it actually really nice (still haven’t told her).

So guys, this ttc malarkey is officially making me crazy! We just dtd in the shower as although I’m only getting flashy smileys, I’ve also had ewcm all day and expected Ov around now. All fine. Except now in my head I’m going “it doesn’t count because we were in the shower and the water probably washed all the little swimmers away before they had the chance to get anywhere!”

Please tell me at least one of you would have the same thought, or am I really just going doolally?!

I would definitely be thinking the same @TwinkleStars15 because I worry about every little tiny detail. Having said that, as long as he was inside you I'm sure plenty of his little swimmers will still be in there.

I'm so sorry for all your losses @CharlSmith19

Hi everyone, I'm lurking here after I miscarried 10 days ago. Wanting to start trying again asap. So sorry that you're all here but what an amazing support!

@Zoey36 welcome and very sorry for your loss x this thread has been my rock for nearly 2 years and they are the most amazing supportive ladies. We're all here for the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you feel you can lean on us when you need it. Miscarriage is a scary lonely time and I truely believe if you've never been there you could never understand the feelings. We've all been on the same journey (some of us more than once) just know your not alone x