TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

Hi all, we have been away this weekend to keep my mind off returning to work tomorrow. I'm dreading it! AF arrived yesteday on CD 43 I didn't ovulate at all this month, really hoping my body has a complete reboot and starts working after AF leaves.

Sorry to everyone else that has joined us, and welcome.

Hi @Melpops36, that's so lovely of you, I'll send you a message. So you have a little one now? How are you getting on?

Morning all,

@Mumlili8 has FF picked up on ovulation for you yet? Surely you have looking at that chart of yours?

Sorry it was a difficult day for you Friday @TwinkleStars15 with it being the scan date - so tough cancelling and unsubscribing. I had a letter through from Emma's Diary congratulating me on my baby with a Newborn Photography voucher. As for whether your GP; I will be surprised if they dont at least have a quick discussion with you about way foward if it does (hopefully not!) happen again.

oh typical, as if things arent bad enough and now yo uhave pain and thrush @Marmite83 - sorry you are struggling. (P.S. as previously mentioned I never got a negative post ERPC before I conceived again so I must have ovulated with minimal levels of hormones still in me!)

Well done for managing to them @Avocuddles - always is afterwards it hits me too.

Oh that would have infuriated me, no clue how you managed to hold your tongue @Seahawk80 ! I was on a few FB groups for parents and they have in the rules that "gender disappointment is a real thing" etc - had to leave because the amount of baby scans that would be posted with people saying "just been told this is a boy/girl, please can you tell me otherwise as I dont want a boy/girl" !!!!

So sorry you are here joining us in this club @ceebee21 but yo uare very much welcome here. Was it just for dating reasons you were told to wait fir first period? My doctors have always said I can try again as soon as the bleeding stops (usually only a couple days post ERPC for me)

Nothing to report here, on 4dpo and have my FRERs ready for Friday morning testing

Thanks @TwittleBee. I have at least had a negative hpt now and the bleeding stopped a while ago so just need af to appear really. I'm actually hoping I ovulated early and missed it so af isn't still weeks away, but it's fairly unlikely. Just a waiting game really. Got everything crossed for a good result for you on Friday.

Hope your return to work goes ok @turquoisebaby. Fingers crossed af re-sets everything for you!

Hi @TwittleBee

To be honest, they didn't say anything apart from recommend you wait for one cycle... but after researching everywhere, I can see it is for dating reasons.

When I had my implant it was also advised to wait for one cycle, but again the nurse said it is only for dating reasons and they can date it with a scan!

To be honest, if my bloods for my thyroid come back as normal, then I will try as soon as I OV this month... the thyroid is my main concern at the moment - just want to get that right!

xxx

@TwittleBee thanks for asking after me. I don't know felt confident until the last 3 days and especially today when my temp dropped back to pre ovulation temps range. I don't know when to expect AF or when/if to bother testing this time. My body is a mess and I so tired now. It's been 2 1/2 years of mc's, bfn's, pain and tears. I'm not sure I can keep it up anymore.

@TwittleBee I just looked at the chart I posted a saw a random data entry point so went and looked and it seems I accidentally checked clomid on the 30th, I've now taken it off and FF has decided that I ovulated now although the temps don't look promising

@Avocuddles I love up! Although anyone who doesn't sob at the beginning must have a heart of stone.

@TwittleBee I was proud of myself for managing it to react, although I only bit my tongue out of respect for the old people, and didn't want to wreck my nieces party.

I tested this morning and BFN, it was a day before AF due and a cheap test but I feel like AF is on her way. I feel OK about it, I'm going to keep trying and if nothing has happened by January I'm going to stop drinking / detox / try acupuncture!

Forgot to say hope work was ok @turquoisebaby

@Seahawk80 sorry about that bfn there never nice.
@Avocuddles up always makes me cry.
@Marmite83 hope you're feeling better now
@Avocuddles @VenusStarr how are you
@ceebee21 welcome and sorry for your loss x
@turquoisebaby hope your day back goes well x
@TwittleBee how can anyone be disappointed with the gender of their little miracle - utter madness, I can't get my head round that one

Hi everyone, thanks for thinking of me @Mumlili8. I'm OK, but found out that my operation isn't until December! Feeling a bit deflated. I'm on the waiting list for a cancellation but will keep trying every week or so. It means we can't ttc until the new year, it's probably the right thing to do, but having short cycles means we'll miss at least 3 opportunities. But I don't want to risk another pregnancy until this fibroid is sorted.
How are you getting on, I saw your chart, hope your temperature goes back up tomorrow 🤞

@ceebee21 I'm glad you found this thread ❤️ how you feeling?

@Avocuddles how are you? The Tommy's studies are quite generic, I'm not entirely sure they aren't one and the same tbh. The aims is to get a better understanding of mc and how to prevent. One is agreeing to be contacted and asked about pregnancies every 6 months up until our child is 5 (cannot even think that far ahead). The other is similar but looking at our test results etc. There's a big questionnaire for dh and I to complete about our history. Dh hasn't looked at them yet, I think he's still struggling and avoiding things at the moment 😔 you're doing so well with your friends having newborns, hope you enjoyed your snuggles :)

Sorry about the bfn @Seahawk80

How are you @ReeRi?

Sorry you're still in limbo @Marmite83 hope af arrives soon.

Fingers crossed for you @TwittleBee :)

Hope you had a nice weekend away @turquoisebaby

How was your birthday @MrsMGE hope you had a great time

I've predicted af is due on Wednesday as it's about 28days since I started properly bleeding. I took a fr test last Thursday which was negative, not been able to retest until this wednesday morning as I've been on nights and I don't really have undiluted early morning wee being up all night and drinking lol. I did take a cheapie test Saturday morning which was a clear negative. Trying to stay positive for a bfp but I suspect I'm not, got usual signs of impending af. Terrible wind and unstoppable rage at everyone and everything 🤣

Finding it hard as my partner keeps making comments about weak coffee and buying baby things. Then speaks about wether my other pregnancies have made it difficult for me to carry another child (I had a massive haemmorage during my pg on my youngest and was left with retained products, infection and slow haemmorage on my daughter for 4months after pg) I know they are nicely meant but I just feel so hopeless and then guilty that I've somehow let him down.
You have spoken about random waves of grief. I had a real cry today in the car after my daughter was telling me how much she wants me to have a baby.

@TwittleBee and @VenusStarr it back up totally wack chart this cycle what do you ladies make of it. My thinking is an immature egg = immature corpus. In a way I hope we didn't catch the eggy now as I'm convinced it will lead to another mc.

Hope you get a cancellation @VenusStarr, the waiting is so frustrating isn't it.

@Sunflower1608 my daughter absolutely loves babies and has been telling me for months that I have a baby in my tummy. I feel so sad I haven't been able to give her a sibling.

Today should have been our 12 week scan. I had a dream last night that the opk was finally positive and then woke up to a line that was barely even visible. So fed up.

Thank you @Marmite83, I'm just wishing time to speed up now.
I'm sorry about your scan date ❤️ I should be 13 weeks now. I hate the reminders of what should be and then the sinking reality. Hope you're OK and not in limbo much longer with your opks.

@Mumlili8 please try not to worry too much about ovulating around cd10. My sister has very short cycles, around 21 days and have 2 children both concieved around cd9. Do you take any supplements? I'm on ubiquinol 200mg which is supposed to improve egg quality.

I'm in a horrible mood today, having imaginary arguments with people. I'm just really disappointed in the lack of support from friends and family this time round. It's non-existent. Any messages I have had are expecting me to be back to normal and it's making me really resentful and angry 😡 and when I've opened up to say I'm struggling one friend has ignored me, she just didn't reply, it's been over a week now. I've decided that (if) we are lucky to get pregnant again then we're not telling anyone.
Sorry for the maudlin post xx

Ps @Mumlili8 I'm wondering if you actually ovulated on cd 11?

@Mumlili8 well that rise looks promising though, whenever I have fallen pregnant I have seen another rise like that - but then last cycle i had a rise like that but AF still came so who knows! I do agree with @VenusStarr that I think you actually Oved on CD10/11 ? so if AF is a late try not to get hopes up ? (how bloody miserable am I? sorry!)

Sorry that today is a painful date @Marmite83 - these milestones are always hard

@Sunflower1608 that really is so hard - my son has been making similar comments too and its so tough. Just remember to be kind to yourself, nothing is your fault - you havent actively put yourselves in this position.

@Sunflower1608 sorry you’ve had a bad time How old is your daughter? Mine is 2 so she isn’t old enough to ask/understand, but I imagine it would be really tough if she did. Good luck for the morning

@TwittleBee thanks, I’ve decided to go to the appointment and at least ask the question. I know what you mean, when I found out I was pregnant I had to call my GP and get a referral to Haematology because of the Clexane. The appointment letter came today..but I don’t need it anymore. Then I got an email from BabyCentre. It’s horrible isn’t it good luck for Friday!

@ceebee21 There’s some new research out that actually recommends not waiting after a miscarriage. Apparently the risk of another miscarriage is lower in the first 6 months after a miscarriage... I’m not too clued up on thyroid issues, does it cause problems with pregnancy?

@Mumlili8 I’m so sorry I have absolutely no idea about those graphs, they look very clever and I’m not lol. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling. 2.5 years is such a long time to be going through this, have you been offered any counselling? Sorry if you’ve already answered that previously.

@VenusStarr that sounds tough - I’d not be too impressed with your friend either! Maybe she doesn’t know what to say? Does she have children? I can’t believe you confided in her and she hasn’t replied in over a week

As for me, I got a flashy smiley this morning so I’m hoping this is a good sign that my cycle has gone back to normal straight away. My miscarriage was only just over a week ago and I’m due to Ov within the next few days (fingers crossed for a static) so feeling okay. Although, on the flip side I already know that if it doesn’t happen again this month I’m going to be really down. For some reason I’ve got it in my head it’ll work this month and I’m probably setting myself up for a fall... Got my GP appointment on Thursday so we’ll see if they agree to do any tests etc. I’m expecting not but we’ll see.

Thanks for all the well wishes for the return to work today, It went really well. Though I have to say I'd happily retire now.

@VenusStarr we had a lovely weekend away thank you. I really hope you manage to get a cancellation appointment. My fingers are crossed for you.

@Sunflower1608 I know how you feel with the wanting to give your daughter a baby sibling, My DD is 2.5 and was aware she was having a baby brother or sister as we told her after our 12 week scan. She often asks me if there is a baby in my tummy and when i tell her no he is in the stars she tells me she wnats him back it breaks me everytime.

Did anyone else get a very heavy AF after their miscarriage?

@turquoisebaby my af after my first mmc was really heavy and continued that way for a few months. It did gradually calm down though. Glad your first day back went well.

@VenusStarr I'm sorry your friend hasn't been supportive. It doesn't take much to say 'I'm sorry to hear that' at the very least. I also have a friend who I really thought cared. She was one of only two people I'd told that we were doing IVF. She messaged me about a week ago to ask generally how I was and to givr me an updare on her. I told her about the miscarriage (as well as responding to all the stuff that's going on in her life) and she hasn't responded since. I feel really let down by her. Thank goodness we have this thread filled with lovely people to talk to!

No idea what's going on with my body. Faintest line so far on the opk this morning but then had some ewcm during the day. Did another opk when I got home and still barely visible. I was at least getting a line before. Maybe I ovulated really early.

Thank you @Marmite83. I'm sorry you've had a similar experience with your friend. It really doesn't take much just to send a couple of kisses or something, just acknowledge it / me :( I'm glad I can offload here and (sadly) you guys get it ❤️

Thank you @turquoisebaby 🤞 my first af made me quite unwell and they've definitely been more painful. Hope you're OK.

@turquoisebaby my periods have been much heavier after both mc and tfmr.

Ugh today is hitting me hard. Baby loss awareness week and my dating scan picture popped up as a year ago. So a year since we found out our little boy was likely very unwell.
Can I go back to bed? :/

@Treaclepie19 ❤️❤️ I'm sorry today is difficult, try and do what you need to today. X

I'm finding it tough at the moment, had a cry with dh this morning and only just got to work, sitting in the car park trying to build myself up to walk in. Sending love to all 💜

@Treaclepie19 thinking of you today

@turquoisebaby in theory the flashing smilies show you the days leading up to ovulation which gives you more chances to DTD in the run up - potentially helpful as sperm can live for a few days. From personal experience though I'm not sure if they're very helpful for women with long or irregular cycles - prior to my first pregnancy I would often see 10 or more days of flashing smilies in a row and never a solid one. I did see a solid prior to my second pregnancy, but also saw a strong dark line on a cheap strip opk so didn't really need to have spent all that extra money. I'm not currently TTC but am using opks to try to see when my cycle returns post MC. I've now seen flashing smilies for at least 11 days in a row so think it might be time to call it quits and assume that this will be another anovulatory cycle I'll keep the cheap strips going but the clearblues feel like they're doing nothing other than waste money!