Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...4!

[SparrowSG]

Here's our new thread (sorry, not good at coming up with exciting titles!!)

SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.

I'm very sorry, ruby. Please don't leave. I didn't mean to upset or offend you. It's not just some random herbal woo, it's scientific studies. I was just passing on information.

@KCM99 and @Cleozeta thank you both for your advice and input, I will have a long think about the anti-depressants and will do some more research.

I think I will give myself till the end of this year and I will draw a line under this madness. I'm not sure if my mental health will be able to take anymore of this (especially without medication).
In the meantime, I will give my absolute everything to try to conceive, at least I can then say that I have tried my best.

@rubyroot, please don't leave, I appreciate your wisdom and advice a lot.

Ooh @rubyroot don't leave, but if you feel you need a breather... I'm sure no one intended offence.. but maybe touched a very sensitive topic..
sending lots of love..
@Russkispy how you doing ?

@rubyroot please don't leave. We all need to stick together! Lean on each other for support and advice and chat and rant and everything else!
@Chatbash72 thanks for asking after me. I keep having brown discharge/spotting on and off throughout the day, all day, but not filling up the pad etc not in pain, clots or discomfort or cramps. Think feeling nauseous in the mornings?! Just been to the loo and the discharge kind of changed in colour and maybe a bit watery now with some brown bits, and when wiping mostly. Ive read on Tommy.org and miscarriage association about bleeding and think I'm ok as long as I don't bleed fresh red blood and experience tummy ache etc rescan is next Wednesday, can't wait to see what's happening inside!

Good news Russkispy, keeping everything crossed for you.

I'm sure no one intended offence.. but maybe touched a very sensitive topic..

Yes and I sincerely apologise for that.

Don’t leave @rubyroot but take a break if you need it xx

@rubyroot I understand if you want to take a break from this thread, but I hope you come back when you are ready. This is the most supportive thread on MN and we all benefit from sticking together x

Thanks ladies, this is an incredibly supportive thread and I think the ladies on here are great. I'm taking a break, I'm finding this pregnancy difficult after losing a baby at 13.5 weeks and then a chemical pregnancy before this one.
I'm convinced my eggs are just shrivelled.

There was a heartbeat at my last scan on Monday, but it's early days and I'm just so worried about another t21 diagnosis if I get so far to have a harmony test.

So yes I'm quite sensitive to the suggestion if I took some tablets I'd be in a better situation. There's fuck all I can do about it now. I realise you didn't mean to upset me, but call me oversensitive or whatever at the moment I'm struggling to get through the days.

I'll be back, hopefully with good news and not bad news. Who knows?!

Sending you ladies lots of luck

Good luck to you rubyroot. We are here for you if you need us

Hi ladies. Some of you may remember me from may/june. I turned 41 last month, I have 2 amazing children aged 6 & 8 and have miscarried my last 3 pregnancies, most recently June this year. I just had my 1st period since miscarrying this time and reached decision time on what we do next. I wanted to keep you updated because I appreciated all your support so much and also because I personally hate a story without an ending! And I really need an ending. So, where we are now, well, my DH strongly feels we've reached the end of the road. Its been a painful 5 year journey trying to conceive no. 3. I'm not sure if I could ever be as definite about it as he is but I recognise the need to draw a line and that doing so could be a good thing. So we've booked a vasectomy for September. In between now and when he gets the all clear we won't try to prevent but I'm realistic about the chances. I know this may sound crazy to some, but we need closure and to move on. I'm heartbroken and if it was just down to me I'm not sure I'd ever reach this so final point. It's not just about me though and with a very heavy heart I'm starting to accept it's time to let go. Ouch 😥

@russkispy I'm thrilled to hear your news!! Sending you all the luck in the world for a happy and healthy pregnancy xxx

@Chatbash72 I had a mmc 3 weeks ago, I had brown discharge that steadily got heavier until it was bright red and very heavy bleeding with awful cramping so brown is good! Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Sorry tagged wrong person! @Russkispy @Chatbash72

@rubyroot & @Russkispy hoping for happy outcomes for both of you dear ladies. I'm sorry if I've missed anyone else?

Any TWW ladies waiting to test? I'm 2dpo (yes I did try again after D&C which was 3 weeks ago). I'm so blasé about it, the thought of a 4th cp or mmc in a row is making me be quite stoic about it all. I just can't get excited about a BFP now. I think I have hyper fertility where any fertilised egg will stupidly implant despite it not being viable. Will I have to go through the whole cp/mmc every month til the good egg arrives?! Well maybe it's a case of 4th time lucky. If it happens again I'm not going to try every month. Maybe every 2 months because having back to back losses is too hard on the body, mind and spirit too.

Sorry for my rant last night. I actually feel guilty now for criticising my body. Without it, I would never have had two beautiful children. I'm sorry! Sometimes I can be so ungrateful then I give myself a good kick up the backside 😂

Hi - I'm still lurking here - checking up on you ladies and hoping for good news for you all...
Just wanted to say having read your post @KCM99 not to apologise for how you feel - it's v understandable!
While i know it's not quite same, our ivf doc said just before this round that he thought I might be 'hyper-fertile', despite only being pregnant 4 times in 4 years, (3 of which were thru ivf) and I was shocked and frustrated... if i was so bloody fertile why wasn't I catching all the months between ivf?? So I'm not sure I fully believed him, but what I can say is that I know that frustration at your own body well. I felt so annoyed that months were wasted while I went through miscarriage, months that I don't have.
Anyway - whether this was the difference or not, who knows, but I was so close to calling it a day, I was desperately trying to make peace with not being able to have a sibling for our wee boy... we had a break following my d&c for the last mc (only about 4/5 months) & went on holiday.
Decided to give it one v last go and so far so good (31w now, I'm not counting these chickens til they are out safely). Like I say, who knows, but I suspect that having a proper clean out with a d&c (other mc were 'natural') and having a few months for my body to reset afterwards may have helped. What is more likely though is that I just finally got lucky with getting decent eggs fertilised. It's so flipping hard having repeated mc - and I really feel for you going through them back to back like that - it's just cruel. I hope this is your month xx

@Hobbes39 thank you and congratulations on your pregnancy. 31w wow! I wish you every blessing to deliver a beautiful take home baby.
I'm sorry also for all your losses and I'm so glad your D&C might have helped you finally carry one to almost full term. Such a positive story what has happened to you, thank you for sharing. I'm hoping the same for me xx

Congratulations to all you pregnant ladies....wishing you a very long healthy pregnancy and a gorgeous healthy baby at the end :)

We saw the GP last week and got our first referrals - DH for sperm analysis and me for Day 3 and Day 21 bloods. Can anyone tell me what they’re actually testing for??

Me and DH are giving it a really good try this month. So far managed to BD Sat, Sun, Tues. Took OPKs last night and again this afternoon...do these look nearly positive? Top one is last night and bottom todays.

@MaryShelley1818 the bottom looks darker so closer but not positive yet. May want to test in the afternoon and at night to make sure to catch your surge.

Good to see you pop in @Hobbes39!

Thank you Kirstie, fingers crossed for a positive tomorrow:)

I had to test last week to ensure there was a negative test but forgot! Tested this morning with a cheapie and also did an opk, the opk I can see 2 lines but know it's negative but I'm sure o can see a super faint line on the pregnancy test, can anyone else see it?

@Mumof4andahalf yes I see a faint line on your hpt. I almost forgot to test too. I remembered yesterday and it was stark white, maybe a slight shadow. Yours is darker.
How many dpo are you?

So, I had the HSG test yesterday and it was horrible! @dobzyj Not to put you off, but I'd advise taking painkillers and having your partner there too. Apparently it's not so awful for everyone, but people react differently. In my case, I've previously had a LLETZ (a layer of cervical cells removed) so my cervix is particularly sensitive.
Anyway, the doctor spent 20-30 mins re-positioning the speculum 7 times after which I'd had enough and asked her to stop! Twice she put the dye up but it just came back out, so she is advising a laporoscopy... has anyone had that? How long is the recovery time?

On a more positive note, if anyone wants to try Proceive there is currently 25% off:
www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/proceive-max-women-advanced-fertility-supplement-30-sachets-60017486