Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...4!

[SparrowSG]

Here's our new thread (sorry, not good at coming up with exciting titles!!)

SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.

@Samk79 if I were you I’d go for the secondment and carry on ttc, and if you do happen to get pregnant during that time then deal with that at the time. Sadly as many of us on this thread have realised there is no sense in putting your life on hold for ttc. Personally I have been trying for no.2 for almost two years now, with only two miscarriages to show for it. If I had turned down a great opportunity on the basis of a possibility that didn’t happen I would really be kicking myself right now x

@Russkispy I hope you are ok, thinking of you and sending you lots of good vibes x

Hi Sam. I think it sounds like your choice is - job, or baby. If you hold off a year, you may be cutting off your chances. Fertility holds such a short and delicate timeline you cannot gamble it.
If you are ok about maybe not having another, then go for the job as your dedicated focus. If another baby is what you really want deep down, then focus on that. A job can happen any time in our lives, a baby cannot. A job could last 12 months and result in nothing. A baby will be in your life for ever.
Just my opinion.

@Russkispy my thoughts are with you today. Are you on progesterone?

Cleo both PP have made very good points. My initial thought was before reading their responses was that this is possibly a crossroads for you and what you choose may rule out the other. My gut reaction was that the secondment may be stressful and impede your fertility. But your gut might be telling you otherwise...

Hi everyone, can I please join?
I'm 39, DH 40 and have had 2 failed ICSI cycles due to mild MFI. DH's SA has steadily improved to the point of having 2 natural pregnancies but both were chemical pregnancies (last one was in April). Cycles seem normal, albeit shorter luteal phase of around 10 days which worries me a little.

Have previously tried acupuncture but didn't find it helpful. Currently having fertility massage once a month and seems to really help with getting my cm moving! I'm also taking DHEA 75mg a day and the usual vitamins.

Forgot to mention we are TTC#1 for almost 3 years now.

Chatbash72: 46 (old bird) DS 22,20,18 (1st marriage to a not very nice man) 8,6 ( 2nd marriage to lovely man). Ttc 3 years, mmc 9 wks 3 yrs ago, 5 wks 18months ago.
Cleozeta: 42 ttc for about 2.5 years, 2dc, 1mmc May 2018, 1cp Oct 2018. Low AMH, low hope (boo hoo). Considering IVF
Constance1234: just turned 42, ttc no. 2 since September 2017. Had a pregnancy of unknown location, which thankfully resolved itself without the need for surgery in July 2018. MMC and erpc last month.
Harriettenightingale: 43, TTC #1 for just under 2 years with 2 different partners, 1cp in Sept 2017 and 1 cp when 25.
IrishintheDR: 42 TTC #1 2 years
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.
KristieP2018: age 43/TTC#1 since June 2018
MaryShelley1818: Age 41, DS age 19mths. TTC number 2 since January (2mth break Feb & March) so 4mths really. CP last month. Previous miscarriage 4mths before I conceived DS and another one about 20yrs ago.
Russkispy: I'm 43, DD#1 is 2yrs old, conceived with IUI. Had failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs. 2 missed miscarriages from 1 IUI and 1 IVF. Had d&c for both miscarriages. Last MMC was this May. Decided on donor egg to start this cycle but got a surprising BFP, natural TTC. Currently 6w2d. Early scan next Monday.
SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
Twinkledag: I am 40. TTC #2 for 3 years next month. 1 DS via IVF. IVF #2 - 2 x BFN. IVF #3 - MC and BFN. IVF #4 - embryo not suitable for transfer. About to embark on round #5.
Weediva: 44 dd8 ttc#2 since March. Ectopic November 2018.
Zigzag11: Age: 40. 1 eight years old DD. MMC Aug 2018. CP Feb 2019. TTC # 2. Have been TTC on & off since September last year, but really trying with OPK-s and charting for the 6th cycle now

(it was a slow morning at work!!)

Please add yourself if you would like.

Russkispy hoping that your bleeding is nothing serious xx

@Cleozeta and @Constance1234
Thank you for your replies. If I do go for the job, I won't put off ttc until it finishes. We couldn't start ttc until at least sept this year anyway so would possibly mean just delaying for a few months. I'm not on any contraception and still tracking my cycles as they took a while to get back on track after my mc in March. I would get a lot extra money with the new job which would mean I would be able to save quite a lot in the meantime. It's so tough!

Hope all is ok, Russkispy

Lol sparrow you must be so bored at work, that's the kind of thing I'd have done in my old job to kill time too. Loving the alphabetical order 🤣

Bleeding is still here, from last night varies anything from brown to pink to red. But not much and not all day and it's not filling the pad. I rang EPU again and spoke to the lovely nurse who looked after me with my last MMC and d&c. And suggested i came tomorrow to see the same consultant from my both d&c. She was so nice on the phone and also she said an interesting thing. I don't have to be referred by GP to them! Whereas the other lady from yesterday kept saying I had to be referred over and over again! So the lovely nurse apologised for that. Anyway, I'm going tomorrow. I don't have any pains, discomfort, cramps or passing any clots. Don't really know to expect. But expecting worse and hoping for the best. I even bought ibuprofen just now in case needed. Big sigh 😔

@Russkispy great news! They'll test your progesterone too I'm sure. It's always good to find the kind/nice nurse at the EPU and ask for them each time. Glad you found yours!
My nice EPU nurse is lovely too xx

Positive thoughts your way @Russkispy xx

Fingers crossed russkispy, no pains or clots is a good sign

Can i just hover in the background please. I wasnt quite brave enough to comment on the last thread. DH and i both 40 with an almost 9year old DS and I have wanted a second for a long time but DH wasnt ever sure. Hee changed jobs last year and suddenly says lets go for it!
Got a positive in May but lost it at 8 weeks. Now he says he isnt sure again as it scared him when I miscarried. I am just so aware that time is not on my side and I have spent a lot of time crying and trying not to resent him as I know he is hurt too but I just want to move forward.

Sorry that sounds so miserable and a bit of a pity party. Fingers crossed for everyone

Welcome to all the newbies
For what it’s worth I’d never put off anything at our age! Lol! I’ve just signed up and been accepted to start a 3-yr Degree Course at work. There was stiff competition and I can’t believe I was successful. If I’m lucky enough to ever get pregnant again then I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it and just count myself exceptionally lucky to be in that position!
Me and DH have booked in to see the GP on Friday - doesn’t anyone know what to expect??

@Samk79 go for the secondment... don't put life on hold... xxx

Hi ladies
Just catching up with the new thread - thanks Sparrow. I haven't added my name to the list as I'm not officially TTC at the moment, but hoping to talk DH into trying again soon!

My history: currently have 10 week old twins through my second IVF cycle. 41 at the moment so conscious that if I want to try again (naturally not through IVF again) I don't have long. Currently breastfeeding so will need to wait a few months, and DH isn't keen to try again as I almost died delivering these twins but for some reason I just don't feel like I'm done and really want to try again for a natural pregnancy. Obviously I'm completely aware of how lucky I am to have had a successful IVF cycle and am extremely grateful to have my beautiful twins 😀

@Dia12 - good to see you again - I think we IVF cycled together last year?

By the way, hope it's ok if I lurk on the thread in the meantime? I miss you guys and love reading your updates!

@Russkispy - hope you're ok - I'm thinking of you as I know how stressful a bleed during pregnancy is xxx

@jugotmail I can really empathise with you as my DH didn't want another after our last and first child together. I was 37 and pg and we'd just met. We got married after. But I really wanted another and he didn't. 100% didn't. It was heartbreaking. I was very resentful. But it was so hard with our son, DH's job was a nightmare and health problems with me that I thought it was probably for the best.

Cue 5 years on, DH has a new job, our son has come on great, my health has much improved and our marriage is stronger than ever (after complete crisis point). So now he's been suggesting to me for over a year about another child and I finally felt I trusted him enough to say yes.

On Mother's Day this year I said "I'm ovulating let's try". So we did. 3 losses later and onto cycle 4 now. Oh the tears. And I'm sure there will be more tears to come. We can cry together on here and support each other through xx

@CritterTamer your twins are amazing. Congratulations to you. I was so broody after my son but DH said no more. The feeling that you are not done is very real and for me never went away. I had a very difficult birth and baby and me almost died too. I know this perhaps scares the men more than us. Hoping as the trauma memory passes, he will be persuaded. I wish the same for all ladies in this position including @jugotmail also.

Thanks ladies. I have decided I'm going to go for the secondment. I may not get it anyway but if I don't try I will never know!

Oh of course I remember you @CritterTamer - congratulations on the twins  how amazing! I can't believe how quickly time has flown by.
Sorry to hear of the difficult birth @CritterTamer and @KCM99, it's so scary as I never really think past the getting pregnant part!

40, mmc at 9 weeks, successful pregnancy exactly a year later, 18 month old. Tfmr Oct 2019 at 13.5 weeks, chemical pregnancy May 2020. Currently just over 5 weeks right after chemical and very anxious that I will miscarry again. Scan has shown that there's a sac in right place, follow up scan next week.

That's a lot to go through @rubyroot, I can understand your nerves. Fingers crossed you have a healthy and happy 9m ahead. One day at a time x

@rubyroot
Tfmr Oct 2019 at 13.5 weeks, chemical pregnancy May 2020.

Hope your pregnancy now succeeds. Just one question, have I missed a year? 😂 (wouldn't surprise me if I had!)

I realised recently I was 43 instead of 42.