Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...4!

[SparrowSG]

Here's our new thread (sorry, not good at coming up with exciting titles!!)

SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.

Hi everyone, just catching up with the thread today. So sorry to hear about the sad news @KCM99 and @Russkispy - sending you lots of love.

I was hopeful about this month but AF here today and feel so heartbroken, as each cycle ends, I'm forced closer to the reality of never having my own children. I'm starting to feel I'm just lying to myself now with optimism and hope.

@Dia12 thank you. And I'm sorry about AF!
@eloisa246 hope you're still around!? We might be DE buddies after all!? Have you started the process, I wonder!?
How's everyone else doing!?

Oh Russkispy and KCM...I’m so very sorry to hear your sad updates. So disappointed and upset for you both. Thinking of you xx

I’m 8DPO and have zero symptoms apart from the most horrific tailbone pain which is making it absolutely agonising to sit/lie down or move! No idea what I’ve done! Have spent the afternoon chasing my 1-yr old round a Soft Play though which probably hasn’t helped.

I start my new full time position and degree next month so wondering whether this month should be the month to stop and also accept being a triangle family. I just feel so sad for my beautiful little DS, like I’ve failed him by not being able to give him a sibling. X

Hello Russkispy - I am still around! I've just read your news and am so very sad to hear it. Sending big hugs - and be gentle with yourself, take all the pain relief you need and let your loved ones take care of you. I've just started my DE cycle and have begun the progynova tablets for thickening lining. I'm really happy to keep you posted on my cycle so you know what it's like! xx

@Dia12 me too CD1 today. This part sucks. I know what you mean about the optimism, it's hard to keep it going.

Today it's truly sunk in that I might not ever have another child. I don't know how long it's going to take me to let go.

@MaryShelley1818 I'm sorry your tailbone is sore. I hope it is a good sign for you though! Be lovely for you to get your BFP.

I've spent the day hiding away not replying to messages from pg friends. I am happy for them. It's just too hard. I can't take the well meant but hurtful comments or insensitivity today. I seem to have had a truckload of this past 48 hours... I'll be fine, just some days (like CD1), I'm not.

Re: DE Cyprus 5k approx. 55 year old got 4 embryos put back and she ended up with triplets!!!

I'm over halfway through my naturally conceived pregnancy now at age 44. For any new members of this group, it can happen!
Came here to post that the actress Mila Jovovitch is pregnant at 43. The article (DM, sorry haha) explains that she had pre-term labour at 4 months - poor woman- with a previous pregnancy aged 41. She refers to worries about her age and about it happening again. She has 2 older children so I'd assume this was all natural without IVF help. Inspiring stories like this helped me so hopefully will give some hope to all of you too!
www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7334981/amp/Milla-Jovovich-43-reveals-pregnant-child.html

Thank you for sharing that @PetraRabbit and congratulations on your pregnancy - is this your first?

It's easy to forget there are still lots of ppl conceiving in their 40s, it's not actually unusual at all!

Ooh @PetraRabbit thank you.... Natalie embrulia is preg but with ivf in her 40's... nice to have encouraging tales....
Atm we are still in the ov zone... but are happily enjoying contraception free sex.... no stresses... going with the flow sending lots of positive baby vibes... nearly a full moon 🌕

Hi ladies,
Is it ok if I join? Aged 40, TTC #2 for 7 months.
Been reading all your stories - so grateful we have these places to talk to others, it can feel so lonely at times! xx

@Russkispy so sorry to hear your news xx

@eloisa246 nice to hear from you. And glad you've started it. Is it in this country? Please remind me if you have children already?! Spoke with my clinic and we started the process, in fact my doc recommended me a new donor and I'm happy with it. My DH will go to the clinic first, to do his business, then they will test 1 embryo for genetics and the rest to freeze. So I'll be doing a frozen cycle in October. Are you doing a fresh cycle!?
Sorry ladies, is it ok to ask @eloisa246 about her DE cycle or shall I PM instead as don't want to clog up the thread with it
@lorns01 thank you, and welcome to the thread. The Best ladies are here for each other no matter what!

Yes, it's nice to hear about all these "older" ladies still able to get pregnant naturally but sadly not my case anymore. And it's fine. I'm just glad I have different options. Well, DE is my very last option.

@KCM99 sorry you're feeling this way and understandably so. That's why we didn't tell anyone this time around. I had some very insensitive comments from one of my friends last time and it made me angry and upset! They will never understand as they never experienced that and will never wish that for them. But I'd rather to keep my mouth shut if I was them. Anyway, hope your days getter better. I'm still bleeding heavily with clots. And lower back pain is manageable with paracetamol

Just catching up on the thread as have been abroad.... and so devastated to hear your news @Russkispy and @KCM99.
Please look after yourselves and take things easy.... time for nice baths, nice food, nice treats, time to heal.

And so glad to see that you're already looking forwards to the future... women are so strong always, we just pick ourselves up and carry on.

Wishing everyone on this thread a lucky next cycle/procedure! We all f*ing deserve it!

Yes please discuss DE here! Very intetested to know what is involved.

Petra - great to hear from you, so pleased things are looking so good, just goes to show it is possible!

@NicLondon1 thank you! This is not over till I get my rainbow! Had a chat with my doc yesterday and yes, the enlarged yolk sac is usually a bad news, it's something to do with chromosomal abnormalities in a fetus. And I don't seem having issues with implantation but my eggs are not that great anymore despite doing everything possible to make the quality better. But like I said, I made peace with that after my May miscarriage and then we fell pregnant naturally, not in a million years I thought I'd end up having back to back miscarriages. Anyway, no need to dwell on about it as don't want to bring a downer on the thread. New things to look forward to!
@Cleozeta thank you. Will keep you all posted on my DE journey. So far, we've got a new donor. And set for transfer in October, all being well. As for the actual preparation/process, I'll let you know once my donor has been scanned and started her process. It's just crazy that next month I'll know how many they will collect and how many will fertilise and survive to day 5 blastocyst. My clinic guarantees at least 2 top quality day 5 blastocysts. I know she already did this before and it worked for a recipient around my age from the first transfer and there's a baby as a result.

I still have Clomid of 75mg, 10 tablets, unopened bottle if anyone is interested!?

Catching up on this thread... @Russkispy, I’m so, so sorry to hear your news, how tough to go through that. And sorry you had insensitive comments from a friend. Glad to hear things are moving positively towards donor eggs and wishing you all the luck in the world in October.

@KCM99 sorry that you’re feeling down, it’s so hard to get your hopes dashed like that. I hope things get better for you.

Everyone: hang in there and good luck! xxx

@Russkispy the world of ttc is vast and a hidden world of minefields among friends. I'm probably guilty of stupid insensitive comments too in the past when I've not known what to say and just stupidly said something. It's not until you go through the fires do you get to develop empathy. Trials develop character. So we are all very rich characters indeed!

I'm so interested in the DE ivf process, please do share on here.

I'd be up for taking the clomid if no one else wants it. I'm on CD2 today. Have I missed the boat for this month?

@KCM99 I always took Clomid for my IUIs treatments, on cd5-cd9 as per my doc's instructions, and had a scan on cd10 to see how follicles were growing and had an Ovitrelle trigger (to trigger ovulation), sometimes in cd12 or 13, depending on size of follicles. If no-one else wants Clomid, i can post them to you tomorrow/Thursday. And you take them before bed, around 10pm, every night. Let me know and send your address in PM.

Hi,

I hope it’s ok to join this thread - here’s my statistics:

MrsMc2019
Age 39 (40 in April)
BMI 42.9 😫
TTC since we’ve been together
BFP (1st & only) 15/01/2019
Blighted Ovum discovered 20/02/2019
Surgery 08/03/2019
Retained Tissue passed 17/03/2019
Our Big Day 19/09/2019 (Sorry had to sneak that in the excitement is too much!)

At GP today who have advised that I have no fertility issues and try to reduce my wedding stress to help conception.

@Russkispy thanks for that. The reason why I'd like to try it is to try and bring on earlier ovulation as I'm ovulating on average CD19 (although this month was CD24). I'm thinking if I could ovulate about CD14 then maybe egg quality might be better.

I'm getting scanned/tested etc week after next at recurrent miscarriage clinic and don't want them to know I'm taking clomid. So I'll think I'll take it next cycle if that's ok (when less monitored). I'm forever being told off by doctors for doing my own thing.

I took vitex today and going to ride it out. (It makes me depressed for some reason).

If it brings on earlier ovulation then it's worth 2 weeks of cr@p mood I guess.

Let's see what happens anyway. I'll try anything.

@MrsMc2019 congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Hope it all goes really well. Don't know how you're meant to relax though

@Dia12 No, this is my second. I had my first DC just before I turned 42.

@Russkispy wishing you all the luck with your DE! I know two women who've done it for the same reasons you did and they have had such happy experiences.

Interesting conversation about clomid @KCM99 @Russkispy - I seem to have a short luteal phase and ovulate anywhere from CD16-20 which is worrying. I've had 2 cps from failed ICSIs and 2 spontaneous pregnancies which also ended as CPs. The RMU didn't really consider the short luteal phase as an issue - they simply said that if I were to become pregnant again they would put me on progesterone as standard procedure for someone who's had 4 CPs. My worry is that I won't even get far enough to detect pregnancy if luteal phase is deficient. Do you have any experience of this?
Also, is clomid available to buy without a prescription. I'm not sure if my gp would prescribe it.

Welcome to the group @MrsMc2019 - seems like you've had quite a year so far but what wonderful news of your wedding, congrats