Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...4!

[SparrowSG]

Here's our new thread (sorry, not good at coming up with exciting titles!!)

SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2.5. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks Feb 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks Feb 2019. Planned IVF Oct 2019.
KCM99: 43, 2 DC, ttc no.3 since April. 3 early losses since then.

Thank you ladies, Spent a bit of time on the toilet yesterday and felt quite a bit of clots slipped out. No cramps. Had a hot water bottle on my back and a couple of paracetamol. Slept heavily without any pain. It feels like a heavy period. Is there anything else to expect in terms of shedding clots? Etc just don’t know how this works! In fact I'm a work now, working in a small local hospital. Thought if anything goes bad/painful I'll get a doctor from here. Got paracetamol and hot water bottle with me. EPU is closed today but will call them tomorrow. Physically and emotionally I'm ok. Spoke with my coordinator from fertility clinic last night, and feeling ok. I have my plan B once things are back to normal here

@Russkispy, I don't even know what to say. I am so very sorry.
Please look after yourself and make sure you go to EPU tomorrow.
Thinking of you. xx

@KCM99, that is shit, I'm really sorry, I was rooting for you.

@hmmm123, good luck, I've got everything crossed for you.

I still kind of feel the same since AF arrived last time. I am ready to give up. I can't do this every single month and I hate the person this whole TTC rubbish has made me.
I went to see a natural fertility coach yesterday and I was expecting to feel positive, hopeful and reassured. But I'm not.
She was great and we worked through a lot of issues, but I still feel hopeless. I try to remain hopeful, but I am very doubtful and sceptical, which probably doesn't help.
She gave me a list of supplements to take, but I just think what is the point really.

Sending positive vibes to all you lovely ladies.

@Russkispy Oh I am so so sorry xx! I’m heartbroken for you. I was hoping it would work out. You’re in our thoughts here.

So sorry to hear this Russkispy

@KristieP2018 thank you! It was too good to be true. No point to dwell on about it. Everything will be fine in the end.

@Russkispy I'm so so sorry 😢 you've got such strength and amazing positivity. It sounds like you have a good plan in place to move forward. Mc's can be quite painful experiences and very draining. Please take time to rest and get some iron supplements from your doctor. (((Hugs)))) and hope it goes ok at the EPU tomorrow.

@Zigzag11 I'm sorry to hear you've got the blahs. It's only natural to feel like that after a while, and we all go through cycles of feeling positive about things then blasé about ttc. I think it's a self protection mechanism. (((Hugs)))

@Russkispy I'm so sorry 😢 - I'm heartbroken for you, I was rooting for you and can't believe how unfair this is for you. You are being so brave x
I don't want to scare you (or anyone else) and everyone's bodies deal with things differently, so you may cope at work - but when I had one of my mcs at similar stage I wasn't able to leave the loo for the clots, so I hope you have the option to go home if need be. Thinking of you xx

@Hobbes39 thank you! Felt quite a bit of clots slipping out last night when sitting on the toilet for a while. Hardly any bleeding today. Not even filling the pad. Although I can feel a lingering pain in my back on the right hand side as felt it last night. But anyway, no point to dwell on about it. Everything will be fine in the end, I'm sure of it. I'll carry on staying on this thread if that's ok with you all x

So sorry Russ, thinking of you x

@KristieP2018... Thank you for not forgetting me!

@Russkispy... i can't believe it. I just can't find the words. It's shit and i'm so sorry.

Everyone is so supportive on this thread so def stay a while. Sending you lots of love and strength

Well i've just come back to the thread and so much sadness and feeling that journeys are coming to an end .

Russkispy - I'm so sorry things have gone wrong for you. And it's always so much harder after seeing a heartbeat too. Definitely see EPU as they will need to check everything has gone. When I went through this last year I had many days of bleeding and clots, but only a few hours of cramps and pain. I hope it happens as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Please keep us updated on your DE journey, as it's one that a few of us may decide to take in the coming months. I admire your resiliance and positivity

@Russkispy I’m so sorry, I have been following your news and silently rooting for you. I had the brown discharge in my last pregnancy, it does seem to be an ominous sign, but I was praying it would be okay.

@Constance1234 I totally get where you are coming from. I feel I have missed a lot of the last year being so desperate for something I can’t have. It’s a horrid place to be in, but I’m coming to terms with it now. It’s time to start living again and enjoying what I already have.

I haven’t posted much recently, but I have still been following. We are buying a new house on the 28th so I will be busy with that, it’s probably time for me to leave the thread, if I can manage to do it.

I wish everyone all the luck in the world wherever your journeys take you xxx

@Rose68... you're at the same point as me but i keep returning. I think that's ok if everyone agrees, as long as you feel ok being here and have come to terms with your situation.
Wishing you the same ...and good luck with your new house.. an exciting time xxx

Boosey I can't leave the thread and it's been 5/6 months since we stopped trying!

@Russkispy I was so sad to hear your update. You are taking this remarkably well but take the time you need to get over it.

@BooseysMom @weasledee @Rose68 I'm not sure it's up to us to agree or not agree as to you popping in and out... we're not that type of group.... everyone is always welcome that's what makes you bunch of ladies so gorgeous xxx

Oh @Russkispy I'm so sad to read your update, how fucking unfair 😢

I agree with @Chatbash72! If you feel like staying, stay. We’re not actively trying at all anymore but I will always come check in ❤️

A case of severe blues today. Waiting on AF, hormones crashing, disappointment, not being grateful. I'll give it one more cycle off my meds then I'm going to need to go back on them.

My GP took me off cymbalta when I was pregnant in July. Maybe Prozac or something is ok though if ttc... antidepressants are like my insulin - I cannot function long-term without them.

Hi ladies, am checking in again. @Russkispy I’m so sorry to read your news. I do hope you’re ok.

AFM I’m on the two week wait again🙄 am 6dpo and have really sore boobs. Pretty sure not had this before but maybe it’s my mind playing tricks. Would be typical as due back at clinic on 21st for start of third round of ICSI. This will be our last round and then will consider donor egg. Timing all a bit mad as new build due to complete 15th September so trying to get a cycle in before we move. Would be pretty ironic if I got pregnant on this cycle but Obviously great! I’m not holding out much hope though as we are now a full year of active trying with opks.

Been to EPU earlier and it looks like I passed the sac and the rest on Friday night as it wasn’t present on the scan. Still got blood clots but will pass soon, was told. To rescan in 10 days. No tummy cramps but just pain in my lower back and still bleeding. Oh well. Upwards and onwards and towards donor egg cycle. Not quitting just yet!

@Russkispy Starting now with the positive vibes for donor eggs xx

weasledee.. good to know i'm not alone! x

Thank you Chat, it means alot x.. & Kristie x

I know i'm done though. I feel it deep down. I just didn't want to be a fraud seeing as it is the Conception section!

Good luck Russ x

KCM99.. sorry to hear you are having a bad time.. hope you're ok?

@Russkispy I'm so sorry. You are so strong and I hope you are ok going through all of these trials.

@BooseysMom I'm ok thanks