Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

@KCM99 , yes, we DTD around 2 weeks after D&C. I don't even know if I ovulated then as didn't track it. But then eventually 1st AF arrived, approximately 6 weeks after D&C. And got our BFP in the 2nd cycle. Now waiting for an early scan in 11 days or so. I should be 7w2d then.
@Zigzag11 welcome to the group

@Chatbash72 the pregnancy loss/ miscarriage one on mumsnet.

Appointment was pretty useless. She said it was an unusually large piece of tissue but other than that nothing. Wouldn’t even say it was more likely I’d miscarried than not!! I’ll get my blood results tomorrow but I did a cheapy pt and was faint.

@EC22 of course it will still be positive whether you have miscarried or not. So the tests won't really tell you much.

I'm wishing you the best of course, miracles do happen.

@EC22 I would ask for an ultrasound if I was you just to check if there is anything else in your uterus... and be bolshy... poor Ellie Wright @feathering the empty nest on Instagram has suffered from another miscarriage and they think that it was retained products that could have caused a problem.... get it checked out just so that I doesn't cause future problems... that is a lot of lining and small bean to pass in one go 😞😞😞💕💕

I don’t expect a miracle, I just wanted to be told it was definitely over as there’s was no doubt in my mind.

How could I possibly pass all that and still be pregnant? I just thought she was sitting on fence unnecessarily. Maybe I’ve got it wrong and there’s a reason she wouldn’t commit.
I’ll hopefully be put out my misery tomorrow.

@EC22 it is strange how they won't give an opinion on things. They tend not to. My initial sonographer was the same. They don't tell you much. I suspect if we paid for our health care we'd have a few more answers but as we get it for free, we aren't told much. In my experience anyway.

@Constance1234 ikr? it's like ttc on speed in our 40's. Waiting it out one cycle is ages and @Russkispy thanks for your honesty. I had about 7 different ppl come speak to me in the hospital, and after the general I forgot a lot and was super emotional.

I want to try but they won't give me any results unless "I need to know something". It's been 9 working days. Nothing. I keep calling them but no one seems to care. But if I do end up pg again this cycle they will throw a fit it my results do come back abnormal.

I'm so exhausted, don't know what the heck happened to me, bursting into tears, cold turkeyed off my meds and don't have any energy and I want to ttc this month? I must be mad.

My DH is away now to Sunday. We dtd last night for fun!! as I'm not ovulating yet. First time in 6 weeks with everything's that's happened. He thought he'd won the lottery

Sorry @EC22 I didn't mean to be patronising. I think its because women have bled etc and still had successful pregnancies and so they're cautious as to confirn whether you have miscarried or not without medical evidence.

I had the same when at 9 weeks and spotting, scan showed 6.5 and no yolk sac. But sonographer wouldn't say. She said if have to wait a week. I said I knew and she said we'll I spose you have a gut feeling. I guess that was nice of her to say.

When I was muscarrying and actually bleeding they told me not to take ibuprofen and when I said I was going to, the doctor kept saying I can't advise that.

I think they're given this clear guidance in order to 'preserve life' women have bled a lot and not miscarried and sometimes there's no heartbeat on scN and later there is etc. So I guess they won't say for sure in case it is a miracle.

I think they need to rule out ectopic too. Someone said something about a decidual cast, I see they’re common with an ectopic. Hope it’s not that!

I have this really heavy, pressure feeling in my lower abdomen, I think there’s a big clot in there, almost like a constipated feeling.

This is not fun!

Thanks everyone for letting me talk about this x

@CritterTamer It must be so tempting with 2 embryos on ice. It does give you a nice back up plan B if TTC naturally goes nowhere. I'd make a decision once the twins get closer to a year. I completely understand your feelings. I was so broody when in newborn days!

Sorry about the bad and uncertain news others have been having.

@EC22 please do talk about how you are feeling. I think it helps when you suffer such a loss. There's lots of ladies on here who have been there and understand what you are going through. Sending hugs your way. X

I'm guessing they'll scan you again to rule out ectopic?

She said they might, as although my scan was inconclusive there was something in my uterus, although I’m pretty sure I expelled that something a couple of hours after the scan.

I’ll know more after the call tomorrow.

They suspected ectopic with me too (as well as molar). They really were guessing. I didn't agree with either diagnosis. They might give you methodextrate (sp?) for ectopic. I don't think I got this when I was under but apparently if they do give it to you, you're not allowed to ttc for 12 weeks. Hope your pain passes soon and nothing serious xx

@kcm99 do you mean methotrexate? It's a cancer med but also treats rheumatoid arthritis and other conditions too.

I'm sorry for you that are going through a rough time right now. Sending positive thoughts your way

I'm stepping away more and more because it seems we're done. No sign of any change in bbt, no ovulation signs at all. Think this is it. I'm just preparing myself for our appointment at end of the month to see what is recommended. Cat mom seems to be it for me.

Kristie - the odd crap or annovulatory cycle is normal and doesn't mean it's over. I had the most horrendous annovulatory cycle 2 years ago, it lasted 3 months and resulted in a month long period that had to be stopped medically. I was tested and told I was perimenopausal. I thought it was the end. But then I've been regular since, and even had 2 pregnancies (sadly didn't work out, but the point it, I conceived)

We can all have wobbly cycles in our 40's, then they do go back to normal.
Don't give up hope.

@EC22, don't let them fob you off. They need to make sure that there are no retained products. Did they send off the tissue to pathology? Sometimes you need to bang on doors to be heard.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

@Russkispy, thanks for the welcome and I'm rooting for you having followed your story

Yes @KristieP2018 methotrexate - I always forget how to spell it. They also use it for molars and ectopics. So if anyone does get it, it's 12 weeks non-ttc as it kills anything growing quickly.

I'm sorry you are feeling it is time to walk away yet you never know and miracles do happen. There's a 2ww story from a woman having a baby at 42 and 50. Naturally I believe too but I'm not sure if they were both natural or just the earlier baby. It on one of the early pages of - twoweekwait 40+ BFP story board.

I've been absolutely exhausted beyond belief. Think it's a combo of AD cold turkey and taking DHEA. I just started taking this 3 days ago and it was a pretty high dose. I felt nausea too. Not taking it today to see if it was that making me ill. It was the precursor to DHEA called Pregnenolone. My DH had a good laugh at the name of it "your taking pregnant on your own?"! lol

I'm on CD16, 3 DPO.
I've promised myself that I will not be testing early....
I'm so nervous already, I don't want to feel that horrible disappointment when I see a BFN.

It's bloody hard isn't it? Waiting to conceive and then waiting to see if you miscarry or have a successful pregnancy. Very very emotionally draining. I dont know what I'll do if this one doesn't work out. I'll probably carry on like an idiot, but I guess there's a time when emotionally you just can't take anymore.

I count myself lucky that I have a lovely little boy and keep reminding myself that it's so important that I enjoy the time with him even though going through this emotional turmoil.

It is my third pregnancy in the space of a year and I'm not very hopeful. Awful pains and currently waiting on scan to check for ectopic. My hcg has been rising, but I know that's no consolation after seeing a heartbeat at 9 weeks and then having a very poorly baby at 13 week scan.

Sending my love to all you lovely ladies. You're all super strong and you'll cope whatever happens.

Thanks Cleo and KCM. I'm trying to keep hoping but it's getting harder. I had 5 months of this type of cycle last year and it scares me that it's happening again.

Still waiting on my blood results! I’ve phoned 3x, they’re too busy to check. I am so frustrated!

Bloody hell @EC22 that's really shitty service. It's not right is it, it all depends on where you are and you get treated differently as a result.

Sorry you're having to wait so bloody long!

They called, confirmed miscarriage. What I expected. Still hard to hear x

@EC22 so sorry to hear that. It’s an awful thing to happen and so unfair you were kept waiting so long. Hope you can rest well over the weekend x

@EC22 so sorry sending hugs Hun, here if you need support xxx