Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

@Cleozeta - just to answer your question re IVF - ours we had various tests via NHS (the basic ones plus the test to check my tubes were open), then had a consultation appointment to discuss what would happen - then at our clinic - it's an NHS clinic as well as being able to be self-funded (so they have to fit everyone in) we had a start date which was a couple of months away usually - ie 'call when you start your June period' and then we had to have paid the full amount before the first appointment once period had started which was baseline scan. Our clinic thankfully wasn't 9k a cycle tho - more like 5k. Is that clinic your only option? Good luck x
@CritterTamer - 33 weeks! So nearly there 😊 that's brilliant they are measuring a good size, but you must be exhausted! I had midwife appt yesterday (I'm 18.5 weeks) and I'm getting pretty big and fed up already and then getting cross at myself for being fed up as I know I'm so so so lucky. Just the weight of 2 is hard work, and I have this pulsatile tinnitus so not sleeping v well. Hope you are doing ok x
@Karigan195 - great news your pregnancy is progressing xx
@Russkispy - my last pregnancy before this one I had the same - saw heartbeat the first scan, and the second scan too (but was looking dodgy as as slow) but it's so hard to have got that far but then have dashed hopes. Thinking of you x

Hello ladies

I'd like to add myself to the list!

I'm almost 40, have two children age 11 and 16. Been ttc since aug 18, fell pregnant in jan 19 but sadly ended in miscarrrige. We are going to start ttc in a few months xx

Hobbes - thanks for info. The place I'm looking at is part NHS too, although full NHS funding for IVF is no longer available in our area so aside from testing it will be all private anyway, but it is non-profit and the 9k would be for a milticycle package (I'm assuming it won't work first time) and also includes drugs etc, so not too bad considering. I really want to do it, just might need to sell a kidney first 🤣

EvelineUK - welcome, great to have an expert on board! Can you tell is more about your new opk that you are launching? And can we ask you advice on stuff?!

@CritterTamer , @Hobbes39 and @Karigan195 it's lovely to hear that your pregnancies are progressing well. Sending lots of energy and good vibes to you.

Sorry for my slightly strange post yesterday. It was a weird flashback and I had no one to talk to. Feeling more positive today. Ho hum!!

@mellongoose. Thank you. It was an awful thing to happen to you and it’s not surprising that it has effected you in that way. I hope you’re feeling a bit better today. 💐

@serenintheforest...welcome to our happy thread . Sorry to hear your medical issues have prevented conception. That must have been hard. We conceived DS at 40 and I was nearly 41 when I had him. It did take a couple of years but we got there eventually. Good luck x

@Samk79.. welcome and sorry to hear about your mc. I had a couple of early ones before DS. I hope you are successful when you ttc again. Good luck x

It's been a hell of a day! 12 hours later I'm finally home! Went to EPu at 8, 6 hours later they told me I might not even have the procedure done today as theaters/surgeons are busy! By then I haven't had a drink or food since yesterday 4-6pm as I was puking all evening! I screamed at them! I just couldn't go home after all these hours and mental and physical exhaustion! Finally at 4pm they took me to theatre! And finally discharge me at 8pm! I'm so exhausted and frustrated and in bits about the whole situation, words just failing me. But it's done now. Time to move on. And have my ducks in a row about the next plan of action. Have already some thoughts which need to process/digest and then act once ready. But this is not over yet! Thank you for all your long very messages! Means a lot! 🤗🤗

Meant to say - for all your lovely messages x

@mellongoose.. I'm sorry I missed your msg yesterday. Yes I echoe Karigan. It must be so frightening and so no wonder you are getting flashbacks. Glad you're feelinh better today x

@Russkispy... Omg what a totally appalling day! I'm sorry you had that treatment..I don't blame you for screaming at them. It obv worked as you did well to get it done the same day even though it took ages!.. It 's just beyond belief. My friend has just had a mc at 12 wks and she opted to let it happen naturally. Nothing happened for a few days but then she ended up in A&E at the weekend. It was awful. I feel for her as she still has tissue remaining inside and she says she just wants it over the same as you. Are you in much pain? Hope you manage to rest up and take it easy. x

Thank you @BooseysMom . Sorry about your friend! This is just shit and so not fair! Wish her well!
Not in pain at all. In bed now. Will try to sleep and rest as much as I can. Haven't seen my DD all day and she was already asleep when I returned. A bit sad about it but we have a long weekend together as a family. DH was with me all day. Poor thing. He's my rock!

Consultant said they would send a tissue for checking chromosomal abnormalities. Although I might not get the results!? Wtf! I insisted on having them back. For my own peace of mind! So told them to keep me posted otherwise they'll be seeing me there every day till they get my results to me! Wtf is wrong with these people! Sorry about the rant! Fuming here!

Sorry you have had to go through all that russkispy, life can be so cruel sometimes.

Trying to catch up...
@mellongoose so sorry to hear about your flash back, this is perfectly normal... maybe some counselling would help. Xx
@Samk79 welcome and sorry fircyou losses.
@serenintheforest welcome lots advice on here..
welcome @EvelineUK happy to fave modd advice
@CritterTamer @Karigan195 and @Hobbes39 glad pregnancies are coming along nicely..
@Russkispy what an ordeal to go through, you sound so amazingly positive but rest up and get better too..
sorry if I missed anyone out.. atm af hit about10mins ago, day 26 mega early but had a hormone filled month.. sending baby dust ladies xxx

Thanks @BooseysMom and @Chatbash72 for the welcome

Ooh missed @Michellebops welcome, not too late.. whilst still ovulating still a chance x

Hi all,

Just marking my place on the new thread:

Alibaba2, 43, DD 7 and 8, ttc 3 years with several CPs

Hugs @russkispy xx I hope you got some rest. It’s awful what you’re gong through.

I’m cramping the last two days which is weird this early before af. I usually cramp the day before or not at all until day of af. I honestly feel like I did 100 crunches my lower stomach is so sore! Af is due Monday. Going to enjoy the long weekend with hubby. Everyone enjoy the day xx

Hope everyone has a good day today.

Updated list with Samk79 and Alibaba2 added:

Chatbash, 46. kids 21,19,17,8 & 6
ttc 3yrs mc 9 wks, mc 5 wks
SparrowSG: 44. 1 DS 2. TTC for ever! 1 ectopic 10 wks 2014, 1 successful IVF 2016, 1 failed IVF 2018, 1 MC 12 wks 2019.
Booseysmom: 47, 1 DS, ttc forever too!
Rose68: 43 (44 in June 😭) 2 DS 9 and 7, ttc since Aug 18, 1 mmc.
KristieP2018: 43 (in April) TTC #1 since June
Samk79: 39. 2 DC 11, 16. TTC since Aug 18, MC Jan 19
Alibaba2, 43, DD 7 and 8, ttc 3 years with several CPs

So af is due today. I don't feel as though it's on it way.

I got a lot of cm again last night which is weird.

Did a ic test yesterday which was negative so not holding out hope 😭

Hi ladies - mind if I join? Feeling weird to think I qualify to be here now but could use the support from others going through the same as me - and I'd like to cheer on a few older mums too. :)

I'm Kav, 40 years old and mum to one beautiful little 21 month old girl. I was on the TTC#1 thread here on mumsnet back when I was 37 and took 11 months of trying to get pregnant with her. I really want to be able to give her a sibling and have been trying since my periods started again last June, with no successes - probably for the most part because DD started nursery in August and proceeded to get every illness under the sun and pass them on to me. I was hospitalised with pneumonia in March which was kind of a last straw moment and made me reassess a few things in my life.

I've been in a very stressful job for the last couple of years that I'm convinced on top of the illnesses has been responsible for my lack of success in getting pg. I hated being away from DD and hated paying somebody over 1k a month to do the job I wanted to do. DH and I sat down together and did some sums, and worked out that we could manage (just) on his salary alone, we'd just be church mice for a while ... but as luck would have it he scored a promotion with a hefty pay bump that's taken off a lot of pressure. I handed in my notice and I'll finish in a couple of weeks time, at which point I'll get to be a stay at home mum to my gorgeous little girl and even spend some time doing crafts and maybe setting up a shop on Etsy. It doesn't feel real at the moment.

I'm hoping against hope because the pressure is finally off I'll have more luck getting pregnant and my age won't count against me. A bunch of my mum friends from my NCT group are either getting pregnant with their second, have had one or are due to pop at any second and I want to join them! At least one other mum friend is in her 40s too though and got pregnant again with seemingly little difficulty once she was released from a similar pressurized situation so I'm hoping I'll be able to follow suit :)

Anyway - hello all - and gentle hugs to you, Russki ... what a nightmare you've been through.

Welcome Kav, sounds like you have made the right choice giving up your job to focus on your family. And I'm sure the reduced stress will help your chances with ttc, and at just 40 you still stand a good chance. Good luck!