Trying to conceive first child with PCO/PCOS or irregular long cycles

[Catconfusion]

Hi there,

I'm currently on my 3rd cycle ttc my first child and I suffer with irregular cycles due to PCO. I conceived first cycle but it was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My second cycle was a chemical pregnancy. I'm now on my 3rd and it's day 34 with no ovulation yet. I'm using Ovusense to temp which helps to show when I've ovulated. I can't help but worry it was a fluke to fall quickly like I did. Just wondering if there's anyone else in a similar situation struggling with long cycles as I'm finding it really frustrating. Looking forward to chatting to some of you! x

@EssJayyCee it definitely looks like FF was right with the ovulation date so I’d say you’re 12 dpo which is consistent with the strength of the test line. Get the pregnancy vitamin in you now and take every day. You probably will need to tell DP if you were meant to be drinking on NYE. I just ended up shaking and clutching the test in the kitchen while DH was washing up with mine. Could you make something to do a special reveal? What a lovely way to start the new decade!

Try to enjoy it. You’re bound to be anxious but today you are pregnant. Make sure your partner knows it’s early days but celebrate as it’s such good news and it’s more likely to work out than not. I’m just so pleased for you. Just shows life can change very quickly! Xx

@CatConfusion will the trying for baby ones be okay for now until I get to the shop? They have folic acid and vitamin D in.

Sorry for sounding simple but what do I do now?
Do I need to go to the doctors or do I wait a while?

Wht about my gynae appointment next week?

@EssJayCee they will be fine for now but get the pregnancy ones when you can.

I would call your doctors surgery and ask what you need to do. It varies in each area. Usually there’s no need to see the GP and you just call the midwife and book an 8 week appointment. Since you’ve been referred to gynae I’d see the doctor and ask what you should do. It might be worth still going and checking your test results were ok. Some ladies need to take progesterone in the early days of pregnancy to help it progress. I’m not saying you do but it’s worth asking about it. Maybe say you had some temperature drops after you ovulated and you want to check your progesterone is ok.

Bear in mind as well they will date your pregnancy as roughly 5 weeks going by your last AF however you ovulated on day 25 so it’s more like coming up to 4 weeks in a couple of days.

For now just take care of yourself, get some rest and allow yourselves to get tentatively excited. If you have any questions just shoot away. I’m happy to help. It is a really scary but exciting time. Lots to think about but try not to worry without reason. This is just fantastic news! Xx

@EssJayyCee just seen the last few posts and am so pleased for you, looks like tentative congratulations are definitely in order! Get some pregnancy vitamins in you and invest in some alcohol free 'fizz' for tomorrow night. I'm really delighted for you. It's funny how the body works, my first BFP came between getting fertility referral and the first appointment, guess all it takes sometimes is time and a pinch of good luck! Keep us posted bit hopefully this is it! x

@Catconfusion Thank you so much for walking me through today! I would have been a complete mess without you!

@Avocuddles Thank you!
I think I am going to have to get alcohol free stuff because everyone will wonder why I am not drinking otherwise! I don't drink alot anyway but I have a little bit on NYE!

I have thought up a new way to tell DP but his mum is on her way over so I can't do it until she is gone!
I can't even imagine his reaction!

No problem @EssJayyCee it’s such a shock at first. Glad I could be of help. Let us know how the reveal goes. I bet he’ll be over the moon! Xx

@EssJayyCee I can give you a few not drinking drinking tips.....

The nicest Prosecco substitute I found was the freixenet 0%, the bees knees is ok too. If you like gin and tonic then you can get away with just tonic water, or get cedars or asda own brand alcohol free botanical drink and mix that with tonic and it tastes pretty good!

I'll be having a proper drink for you both tomorrow. I really hope I get to join you in the BFP again within the next couple of months though! x

@Catconfusion well.. the reveal wasn't as expected but was rather funny.

I printed a picture of our puppy out with the words "I am going to be a big brother" on it. And got him to get it out the printer for me.

He looked at it and said "Aww that's cute" I asked him if he read it and he said yes and put the picture on the side...

I asked him what it said and he told me.. and looked confused at me... it took a good minute or two for the penny to drop! 😂

But he is over the moon and couldn't stop smiling. I cried- ALOT.

I really hope this little bean sticks! It's been a long time coming!

I am so worried about the cramps. Some are faint but others are full on period cramps!

@Avocuddles I'm not a big prosecco or gin and tonic drinker!
I'm more of a wine spritzer kind of girl!
Whatever I drink I will need to put it in an alcoholic bottle because I think people will notice otherwise!

I did another cheapie with FMU this morning... and its negative.. I think it may have been a chemical pregnancy 😭 I knew it was too good to be true.

I was being impatient. Its darker

@EssJayyCee your reveal sounds very cute. I bet he was shocked but super excited.

I’m sorry you had the distress of no line at first but so pleased it darkened up. All very encouraging. It can take 48 hours to see line progression early on so try not to panic if you do get one that’s not looking positive or darker. I nearly drove myself crazy at first. Testing every couple of days if you can will give better results as the hcg should double in this time.

Cramping can definitely be more intense round about when your period would have come. Hopefully it will die down over the next few days. There’s lots going on in there so it will feel a little strange. Some ladies even get a bit of spotting. Try not to worry if this happens. Of course cramping and bleeding can be a bad sign but also completely normal for some ladies.

See how you feel mentally over the next few weeks. I doubt your GP will refer for an early scan with no history of loss. If there’s any cramping or bleeding though ask if you can have one. If there’s no cramping or bleeding you could book a private scan if it will help ease your mind everything is ok. For best results this can be done at 6.5 - 7 weeks at the earliest to see a heart beat. If not your first scan will be at about 12 weeks through the NHS.

The first trimester is I think the toughest. Just keep focused on getting through each week and carrying on as normally as you can. We’re here to support you if you need it! Xx

It would have been cuter if he had got it first time. I was videoing him but he didn't get it so I stopped recording Haha @Catconfusion

Yeah I guess I should stop testing then and try every other day.

I have researched about what to do next in my area you self refer to the midwife by filling out a form. When would you suggest doing this? Should I wait a couple of weeks or is now fine?

@EssJayyCee it’s up to you. I self referred with a positive test. You might want to leave it a couple of weeks to make sure all ok as it its tough in the unlikely event of cancelling the appointment.

I’d definitely get in to see the GP though as you’re bound to have loads of questions. They have a lot more power to refer to the hospital than midwifes so it’s a good idea to build up a good relationship with one. If there is a GP at your surgery who’s a gynae specialist I’d see them. The midwifes don’t really have much to do with pregnancies before 8 weeks. Even then it’s just a booking in appointment with lots of paperwork. At least if you see your GP you can explain you’ve been having some cramps. Of course they are more than likely normal but if they do get worse you might get a referral for a scan. I saw the GP at 4 weeks and she was lovely. It was a little different as we’d had losses but she was quick to refer for early scans because of it. She also prescribed progesterone because we’d had two miscarriages.

Btw M&S have non alcoholic New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and it’s amazing. Xx

@Catconfusion thank you for all of your useful tips 😁
I am going to go to my fertility appointment on wednesday and while I'm there I will say about the cramps etc instead of wasting a GP appointment.
The gynaecologist will have all the answers anyway!

When do you stop thinking about the fact you're pregnant? Its taking over me!
Every moment I'm thinking about it. I assume it's normal but I want to put it to the back of my mind so the days/ weeks can go a bit quicker!

When did you start getting proper symptoms?

Other than the few cramps here and there and my boobs being bigger I've not got any. My boobs aren't even sore. When does fatigue kick in?

I'm doing keto, and I've seen some people talk about how it helped with their PCOS.

Generally, though, I've known several women diagnosed PCOS who managed and have healthy, happy babies now, so don't lose heart. Miscarriages are horrid, and painful, but you'll get there!

Hey @EssJayyCee that sounds like a good plan since it’s so close.

It’s really difficult to think of anything else so try not to worry if it is consuming you a bit. I was just over 5 weeks when the sickness started but then I was really ill with it. Most ladies don’t have extreme sickness. I had breast pain early on but then I get that before AF anyway it just got worse. Every pregnancy is different and symptoms can be really mild or severe. You’re still quite early on to feel much different. I really hope you don’t suffer with the sickness as it was horrendous for me. I’ve only just been able to get my life back over the past month.

Let us know how the gynae appointment goes! Xx

@Catconfusion I am going to do a clear blue digital test at the weekend to see how many weeks it thinks I am.
I'm pretty sure it is 4+1 today but who knows with my irregular cycles!

So I have around a week to still feel normal then! 😂 I hope I don't get sickness either! I'm not very good with being sick!

Remind me, how many weeks are you now?

@EssJayyCee it should show up on cb digital. I know they’re not very sensitive and also I think the weeks pregnant is from conception rather than AF so don’t panic if it’s only 1-2 weeks.

You may feel fine. Everyone is affected differently by the hormones. I think for many it’s a bit of nausea so not necessarily being sick. I was really unlucky.

I’m 25 weeks now. We saw the midwife on Tuesday and heard the heartbeat which was lovely. At the moment I’m just really tired and struggling a bit with standing for too long as my bump is huge.

Fingers crossed for very mild symptoms if any for you! xx

@Catconfusion Yes I had read that. That's all I am expecting to see but would be amazing to see further along!

I guess only time will tell on the symptom side of things!

Oh bless you, and you've still got some growing to do as well! When do you go on maternity leave? Xx

@EssJayyCee yes for now just try and enjoy it. I’d advise you to get as much as you can in order in case you are sick. I wish I’d been able to get more tidying and sorting out done before as I’m now struggling to bend. We waited until the 20 week scan before we bought stuff just in case. It can be such an anxious time so take care of yourself.

I didn’t really go back to work after my two losses and I needed some time out. I run my own business so put it on hold to grieve and get my head straight. Luckily I fell pregnant four months after the second loss but it wasn’t long before the sickness kicked in. When I finally felt better we decided I’d just leave work until he’s here. I’ll be having extra appointments due to my age and physio as I have arthritis in my hips so lots going on. We’re a bit skint but coping.

I’ll be really interested to see what your gynae consultant says. I’d still maybe get in to see your GP, especially if any concerns or questions. I’ve got everything crossed it all works out for you! Xx

@Catconfusion Bless you, sounds hard work. I don't think we are going to buy anything until 12 weeks scan just in case.

I'm really worried about the money side of things. I mean as we are we are just about comfortable but once I'm on maternity leave maternity pay won't even cover the costs of my Bill's. My DP hasn't got a great paid job either so I don't know how we will cope and even when I go back to work... childcare costs and everything I really don't know what we will do. We are just over the border to claim any benefits as well so we won't even get help..

I am interested to see what my blood tests showed as well.
I keep thinking about phoning the doctors but I don't want to waste their time... I don't really know what questions I'd want to ask or anything. I don't think I'm particularly concerned either... I am worried of loss but isn't everyone? I will see what the Gynae says and if I have any further concerns or questions after that I will get a doctors appointment.

@EssJayyCee it’s probably for the best as frustrating as it is. Your odds are much better at 12 weeks. At 20 weeks they check the heart and brain so you’ll have even more reassurance then. I’ve enjoyed the time after 20 weeks far more as the chances of loss go down greatly. Plus you can feel it moving so know it’s alive.

DH and I just sat down when I was 4 weeks and went through all our finances. We brainstormed a load of ways to get our monthly costs down and clear a few small debts. I’m sure you’ll be ok. Baby’s are not too expensive but as you say it’s the being off work that’s tough.

It will definitely be good to find out the blood test results and check your progesterone levels are ok. They may give you a pessary if it’s low. Don’t feel like you’re wasting the GPs time. It’s been a difficult road to get here so it completely warrants an appointment if you want one. Obviously if you’ve no pressing concerns and feel ok maybe wait and see how you get on. If there’s any bleeding or the cramps get worse I’d definitely see the GP. When I had spotting with my first pregnancy the midwife refused to refer me to the hospital so we had to pay for a private scan. When I saw my GP she was upset because she’d have sent me straight to the hospital. I just think GPs have a bit more power to get things done. I’m sure you’ll be fine and won’t need it though.

It’s definitely an exciting time for you! Xx

You're so clued up with all this stuff!
I'm so glad I found you on these threads!

We have a couple of pieces of furniture on finance but there is no way we can finish paying them off.
One of them will be done by the time we have the baby but that's only £26 or something..

The only thing I am worried about it potentially losing the baby.
I did an FRER on monday and again this morning and it's not much darker... HCG should have doubled twice since monday but the darkness isn't showing that.. in my opinion. What do you think?

Arrrh @EssCeeJay happy to help.

You can only do what you can do in the time. I'm sure you'll get given lots of baby stuff so that will take the pressure off needing to buy extra things.

Of course you are worried and that's natural. Please know if its going to happen there's sadly nothing you can do so just take each day as it comes. It's not anyone's fault just usually bad luck. The odds are in your favour though so far more likely to work out than not.

I think it looks darker. Considering you're only just at the 4 week mark its a clear line. If you can afford to I'd do another First Response on Monday and see if its darkened. It should be much stronger by then. If you're still concerned next week you can talk it through with the Gynae doctor xx

I know there isn't much that can be done but I feel like with my irregular cycles maybe there is a higher chance of it happening?

I know I shouldn't have but I took another IC and it is so much darker so now I feel a little more positive.
I am going to get a CB digital tomorrow and maybe some more FRER's but I am a but skint so may not bother with the FRER's.

I am unsure if I am 4 weeks or nearly 5... there is a chance I ovulated 4 days before FF says I did. We only DTD 3 days before the day its saying so I'm not convinced that could have happened.. but maybe it can. 🤔