Trying to conceive first child with PCO/PCOS or irregular long cycles

[Catconfusion]

Hi there,

I'm currently on my 3rd cycle ttc my first child and I suffer with irregular cycles due to PCO. I conceived first cycle but it was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My second cycle was a chemical pregnancy. I'm now on my 3rd and it's day 34 with no ovulation yet. I'm using Ovusense to temp which helps to show when I've ovulated. I can't help but worry it was a fluke to fall quickly like I did. Just wondering if there's anyone else in a similar situation struggling with long cycles as I'm finding it really frustrating. Looking forward to chatting to some of you! x

Hi @EssJayyCee hope you're ok! I had a good holiday thank you though it was a big shock to the system coming back to the cold and dark uk and I'm working away this week so missing my own bed.

My cycle is back to its old irregular self this month! CD41 now, definitely not pregnant, just wishing that AF would turn up sooner rather than later...... 😴

@Avocuddles I am well thank you, oh bless you, it's the worst feeling coming home from a warm holiday!

I feel you about wishing for AF. Luckily for me AF came for me on sunday after a 49 day cycle, so I will have had all of my blood tests done by my next appointment which is good news 😁

I actually think I ovulated last cycle by looking at my BBT charts. I am kind of hoping I don't this next cycle or else gynaecology probably won't do anything with me.

From BBT charts I have only ovulated twice in the whole of 2019! So I am pretty sure I need help!

Do you think I should show them my charts as a bit of extra evidence of me not ovulating? 🤔 xx

@EssJayyCee there's no harm in mentioning them, but I think the length of your cycles alone will be enough for them to support you as anything irregular or longer than 35 days is deemed abnormal. Day 42 for me now! 🥱

@Avocuddles @Catconfusion

How are you both doing?

I've been thinking alot and I am worried that if I ovulate this cycle then I will not get any help with anything and be discharged off the gynaecology/fertility system..

I know 100% I don't ovulate every cycle so I need help.

What do you think will happen if I do ovulate this cycle?

@EssJayyCee thank you for asking after me! As far as I'm aware whether you ovulate or not shouldn't affect your eligibility for support if your cycles are long / irregular. I've definitely ovulated at least twice during my 19 months TTC so far as I fell pregnant twice, but the fertility clinic are still happy to see me in spite of the miscarriages as my body clearly isn't working 'properly '. I imagine my age might also contribute to the support I'm getting as I'm 36 now.

I'm currently on CD52 and my next appointment is on Thursday. I'm hoping I might get prescribed something me medication this time but will let you know how I get on....

Apologies for the dodgy typos!

Thanks @EssJayyCee for asking. I’m good thanks. Currently 22 weeks with our baby boy.

They won’t discharge you just because you ovulate. The fertility clinic also see ladies who have regular ovulatory cycles but are not falling pregnant. Whether you ovulate on your own or not might influence the treatment you get but your cycles are irregular so you need the help. Try not to worry. I know that’s hard. X

Good luck for your appointment on Thursday @Avocuddles I hope you get a prescription to help you. X

Okay thank you for helping me put my mind at rest
I'm so glad I've got you both to keep me level!

Aww a little boy @Catconfusion have you thought of many names yet? I got a warm bubbly feeling reading you're having a boy. I am so excited for you!

@Avocuddles good luck for your appointment! I hope they give you something. What kind of medication are you hoping for/ expecting?

No problem @EssJayyCee I remember feeling really desperate to get help and scared that help would somehow be taken away. It’s so difficult with irregular cycles. It makes you feel so powerless. Rest assured they will help you.

Arh thank you. We do have a name but it’s top secret. When he’s here I’ll let you know. I had a feeling it was a boy as it’s a big bump all at the front.

Good luck for your next appointment! Xx

Thanks @EssJayyCee! I'm hopefully for medication to ensure that I ovulate regularly - Clomid or Letrozole. After the pregnancies I wasn't sure if I needed it, but now that I'm back to long and irregular cycles it might be what I need to ensure I have a shot at getting pregnant. I'm under no illusion after two losses that falling pregnant will result in staying pregnant, but we need to try again and if it does happen again at least we might be taken seriously....

@Avocuddles I completely appreciate why you’d feel that if you fall pregnant again it won’t stick. You still however have very good chances, even with the irregular cycles and two losses. My cycles were a similar length to yours and pretty messed up just before I caught. We were weeks away from our fertility appointment when it happened. I’m pretty sure we’d have had drug treatment if not. This baby was conceived on day 32. I was convinced it wouldn’t stick because it was so late but it did. We also had two losses before this too. With drug treatment your chances are even better. I know it’s really tough but hang on in there. I’ve got everything crossed for you that they get you on something soon and you get lucky straight away. My Mum fell pregnant with my sister on her first cycle of Clomid after not having a period in 6 months. Also my sister fell pregnant straight away on metaformin. As you can tell pco/pcos runs in our family. The drugs can just be the tipping point for everything to click into place. Good luck! Xx

@Catconfusion aww, I can't wait ! 😁
Have you started all your baby shopping?
I can't believe you're over half way through already! It seems to be flying by! I bet it doesn't for you!

@Avocuddles How did your appointment go? Did they prescribe you anything?

Hi @EssJayyCee!

So had my fertility clinic appointment yesterday morning and as I had hoped the consultant said it's time to go down the ovulation stimulation route. I've been prescribed letrozole, along with progesterone to bring on a period, though won't be using either until the new year. Most of my test results have come back completely clear but the fact that I don't regularly ovulate does indicate polycystic ovaries, and my vitamin d levels are on the low side so I've got a GP appointment next week to request high dose vitamin d along with high dose folic acid. Also been told that losing some weight would be helpful (my BMI is currently 28) so come Jan 1st it's going to be 100% healthy eating and teetotal lifestyle for me....

My initial ovulation stimulation appointment with the nurse is on Jan 6th, I'm assuming that will just be to go through the process then after that I'll get started on the meds if it's the right time in my cycle (who knows if I'll have had a period by then given it's now CD57!!!). As I have this lined up DH and I will take another break from actively TTC until the appointment comes round - probably well timed as we'd be struggling to DTD whilst visiting assorted family members!
Once I'm on the meds there will be various scans and checks to see if I'm ovulating successfully so fingers crossed!

I'm not naive enough to believe that this will bring us a baby, but at least it will give us more of a chance of conceiving. The consultant showed me a chart which showed that based on my various risk factors and miscarriage history the chance of us bringing home a live baby (if I fall pregnant) is c60%. Not the best of odds, but still in our favour.....

How are things going for you?

@Avocuddles that is still pretty good news!

What is the difference between letrozole and clomid? The doctor I saw last said I'd probably have clomid if I needed stimulating.

I am just having my last few blood tests to determine ovulation this week and then my gynaecology appointment is on 8th January so still a few weeks before I will know my fate!

Did you get the medication yesterday or will you only get it when you see the nurse on the 6th?

My BMI is also 28.. so I think they will also tell me that. A

Hey @EssJayyCee we’ve bought a few things but it still feels a bit surreal and the worry doesn’t go away, especially after loss. We are definitely excited though! Now I’m feeling baby move the anxiety is a bit better than it was.

I was told letrozole is a better drug with less side effects. They may try you on Clomid just to see if that works first off as for many it does.

@avocuddles it’s great your test results came back normal. I was in a similar position. They really couldn’t tell me why my cycles were so long, especially when the cysts cleared up as I got older. The vitamin d will be really important for you and an easy fix. Lots of people are deficient this time of year so might not be an ongoing problem.

It sounds like your odds are really good. I was told once I hit 40 my odds went down to 5% of conceiving naturally. For ladies with no issues it’s about a 25% chance each cycle so the drugs really do raise the odds.

What I would say about bmi is I completely understand why they tell you to lose weight as I think for some it makes a difference. My bmi was 27 when I fell pregnant the successful time and personally I felt my cycles were worse when it was 25 or under. I think everyone has a fertile weight - a weight where the body is most efficient. I feel that putting on a bit of weight actually helped my fertility. It’s worth looking at diet to see if it makes a difference to your cycles. I focused more on healthy foods than dieting as such. I‘d lost about half a stone of the stone I’d put on after my two miscarriages when I fell pregnant.

Good luck for your appointments and the treatment ladies. I’ll be thinking of you after Christmas and hoping you get some good news soon! xx

@Catconfusion unfortunately the odds aren't the odds for conceiving, they're the odds that we'll manage to have a live baby if we did conceive given my miscarriage history  I feel optimistic that we will conceive within a few cycles but then the next step will be staying pregnant....
I'm glad that your anxiety is improving, I know I'll be a wreck if ever make it that far but hope the excitement would outweigh the fear.
Re weight I was the same weight that I am now both times I fell pregnant so I don't think it would significantly help but I've signed back up to weight watchers online so will give that a good go once Christmas is out of the way.

@EssJayyCee letrozole isn't technically licensed for fertility (it was originally a breast cancer drug) but is apparently being used more and more instead of clomid. As @Catconfusion says there are supposedly fewer side effects and it has a far lower risk of multiple births or ovarian hyperstimulation. I've already got the prescription at home but won't be taking anything until after my next appointment as it needs to be taken in conjunction with monitoring by the clinic.

@@Avocuddles I have my fingers crossed for you for everything. I was talking to my mum the other day who had multiple miscarriages and when she fell pregnant with my sister she had to have injections every week to stop her from miscarrying. I wonder if there is still a similar injection or medication that could help you?

It's crazy how medications used for one thing can crossover and be used for another! It sounds good that there are less side effects but a bit of nuisance having to be monitored throughout. I think my work would get a bit annoyed with me for having to go to appointment all of the time.

2020 will be a good year for all. Try and stay positive.

@EssJayyCee the monitoring with letrozole is a bit less than clomid from what I understand but they still will want to scan to check that ovulation actually is taking place. If the initial dose isn't enough to trigger it then they'll increase it in subsequent months.

I already have to inject blood thinners daily during my pregnancies due to my clotting history, this is supposed to help reduce miscarriage risk though unfortunately hasn't worked for me so far. There are other medications however that some ladies are prescribed during early pregnancy so if I do manage to get pregnant then I'll be pushing to find out anything and everything that could possibly help!

I hope you're right and 2020 is the year that brings us both everything we've ever dreamed of xx

@Avocuddles I’m sorry I didn’t realise about your history of blood clotting. I really hope they get you on the right medication when the time comes. I can imagine the irregular cycles just make the ttc experience so much harder as well. One of the reasons I started the thread was because it was so much harder after two losses to go back to ttc with irregular cycles. Not knowing when to try and if ovulation is even happening makes it so much more stressful. Add in the fear of going through another miscarriage and it’s so tough. I’m glad you’re seeing the consultant and getting some support.

I have to say the anxiety hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve had hyperemesis so just getting through the day has taken up a lot of mental energy. Thankfully it’s eased up now. I think I just accepted I wouldn’t be able to get too excited until 20 weeks. I just focused on milestones until then. Now although there’s still stuff that can go wrong it’s so much less likely. I just try not to think about those things. Honestly it gets much easier when baby starts moving around because you know they are ok.

Anyway I really hope you and @EssJayyCee get on well with the treatment and have some good news in the new year! Xx

Hey I’m new here, 👋🏼

A little bit about me.....
I’m 27 and this year I got married in July to my partner of 12 years (meet him in school) and we decided to start trying for our first baby. August came and we were so excited and used an app and did it only a few days around when I was meant to ovulation. Side note I had no idea that there was only a few days to get pregnant in each as in school was always told to wear protection, take the pill and all that jazz.

So It rolls around to the 2 week wait and I swear I’ve got everything. Take the test and I’m so positive I’m pregnant but NOO I’m not! I was so confused but I had sex when it said but I felt all the symptoms I was so confused and shocked I instantly though omg I can’t have children and started worrying.

So me and my now husband went on honeymoon and I thought great maybe we was too stressed after the wedding maybe now we will get pregnant. So at this point I’d still not come on my period from the previous cycle which is now making me think hang on could I still be pregnant!?!!! So we’ve now been on our honeymoon and on the last few days before we go home which I’ve now been worrying about swimming and wear bikini incase I start my period. I’m now cycle day 40 and think what the hell is happening. I’ve taken test and all negative! Cycle day 41 I start so I’m like how do I track next one when I’ve gone 41 this time.

Fast farward

(October 3rd cycle of TTC) tried again but pretty much having sex all the time that I’m like omg what a chore and the fun is gone (cycle lasted 41 days) not pregnant

(November 4th cycle) tired to stop worrying about things and trying and only did it every other day. Husband was made redundant so we were really stressed. I now started thinking could my husband have fertility problems ????

Current cycle December 5th Cycle ttc - husband now redundant and having problems with his old company not paying him so we are skint. We’ve been fighting about silly things but also tried a few days To conceive but though what’s point it’s only going to end in not being pregnant and on the 11th December I started spotting only lasted like half a day and wasn’t really anything to call. I don’t feel anything else apart from in starving but that’s because we are skint. I broke down to my mum about us trying but so now she knows we not just stressed about money but that too and his family don’t no we trying as it would end up with them at our house asking if we had sex today they want it that bad.

Which to be honest pisses me off as they always say oh when you having a baby and I want to scream we fucking trying OMG not that pissing easy.

Anyway can anyone just give me some bloody advice where am I going wrong!!!!

HELP I THINK IM GOING MAD!!!!!

@MewOoO hi! I'm sorry you're finding trying to conceive so stressful. The key thing to bear in mind is that whilst some people fall pregnant really quickly, there are plenty of others that don't and anything to a year is considered 'normal'. I'm 36 and having been trying for 19 months now, during that time I've fallen pregnant twice (in spite of very long and irregular cycles) but miscarried both times between 7 and 8 weeks.

If you haven't already you might like to try using ovulation tests which will help you to pinpoint when the 'right' time is. The clearblue ones are probably the best and very easy to use but you can get far cheaper ones online which still have the same result.

On the other hand, my fertility consultant (I'm under the hospital due to my age / history) advises that the best thing to do if you don't have a known issue is to have sex frequently throughout your cycle - ideally every 2 days, but every 3 should also work as your fertile window each month should be at least that long. Avoid doing it daily though as DH's body needs time to recharge for optimal sperm!

Good luck to you, hopefully you won't have to wait much longer for your BFP

I’ve been using those ovulation test by clear blue and a few times I’ve had a peak in some cycles but this month I ran out of the test sticks and missed some days so I don’t really know what’s happening. I’ve done basal temperature on cycle but this cycle I’m not been doing it a lot and this morning I was 36.4c which doesn’t help as that’s can either be before ovulation or after.

I feel like I’m trying all the tricks in the book and I feel stupid moaning knowing you have been doing this 19 months I don’t know how you do it.

I’m sorry to hear you lost two that’s heart breaking. How are you keeping so positive and what are you doing? Example tests, basal temperature or cervical mucus tracking????

How do you deal with others getting pregnant or being asked all the time when you having them?

Sending baby dust to all.

@MewOoO I tried temping for a bit but gave up as I'm not sure it's always that reliable (the cycle I conceived I didn't think I'd ovulated on the basis of temps) and just added another layer of stress to an already stressful experience.

I keep positive because at the end of the day I have no choice. I hope that things work out for me eventually, but at the end of the day the only thing that is for certain when it comes to trying to conceive is that a sperm and an egg meet so having regular (but not too pressured) sex and continuing to enjoy your life whilst you do so is ultimately the most important thing.

The NHS website actually states the following....

@Having regular sex means having sex every 2 to 3 days throughout the month.
Some couples may try to time having sex with when the woman ovulates (releases an egg).
But guidance from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) advises that this can be stressful and it isn't recommended."

It's definitely frustrating when people ask when you're having them and given I'm that bit older than you the time pressure is unavoidable. Most of my friends didn't have children until their mid 30s but now I'm the only one left. What has made life easier for me is telling our friends and family about our struggles, miscarriage is a really lonely experience but sharing our experience has brought us lots of emotional support (though some such as my family just don't say anything at all....).

My main advice to you based on my own experience is to try to plan fun things for the two of you over the coming months so that your focus isn't entirely on trying to get pregnant. Try to keep up sex every two days and maybe step back from temping etc as if you're able to have regular sex anyway then it's unnecessary. If you get to the one year mark (which I'm optimistic that you won't!) then see your GP and they'll be able to refer you on for tests / support. Your time will come x

The one thing I said to my partner was there isn’t enough support for the mental side of TTC and it is not spoken about enough.

I just also want to say thank you for support me and the advice you have give me. Its been very helpful.

I do hope we both succeed in creating our own little bundle of joy which will be so precious to us.

Hey @MewOoO and welcome to the thread. I’m so sorry you haven’t had any luck yet. It’s such a frustrating time. It sounds like your cycles are sometimes long and irregular. I would speak to your GP about this now. I had an ultrasound and bloods done to check for pcos before I was ttc. If they do diagnose an issue you might get help sooner. If everything looks normal you’ll have that piece of mind and can just carry on trying.

Confirming ovulation is happening personally really helped my state of mind. It is however tricky. Opks are not always accurate. Some people get false positives. Temping can also be really frustrating and difficult to do accurately.

I used Ovusense and I found it amazing at showing I was ovulating. It’s a small device you wear internally during sleep and it gives you an accurate average temperature. I could clearly see from the graph it created over my cycle when I was ovulating. Once I used it for a while I knew in most cycles I was ovulating just very irregularly. This did make trying tricky but at least I knew it was mostly happening. I had two miscarriages early this year but I’m now 23 weeks pregnant so don’t give up hope. It will happen for you.

I definitely agree that regular sex and taking the pressure of tracking cycles is a good idea but it also will help to know there’s no reason for the long cycles as I’m sure that’s playing on your mind. It could just be stress if it’s not happened in the past. Good luck! Xx