TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@InDreamland you have every right to be hurt and angry with your DH and it will take time to heal X you both just need to start talking about how your feeling and hope he's made you feel over the last 5 years. It will be the only way you can move on from this X I hope you get to know more at his appointment in Friday x

@Mistymeow I'm trying to wait until Friday 😓

Hi, can I join you ladies? I’m 28 and TTC #1

I miscarried in February at 6 weeks. Bled for 6 days. AF arrived 4 weeks later. I was convinced I was pregnant again because of symptoms but I wasn’t which AF confirmed. Now I’m CD24 and swear I am going mad as symptoms are massively noticeable but bfn.

Before the MC my PMS was barely noticeable, odd dull ache and some bowel symptoms, so this is completely messing with my head.

Top it off, it’s causing tension with my DP as I’m emotional and snappy and he’s retaliating by sulking and ignoring me (being a complete child!). This is out of character for him.

It’s just awful and I just need some support :( I’m a teacher and it’s the holidays which is making life a little harder as I was due to have my scan this week and DP is working so I’m home alone and dwelling.

I’m really sorry that you’ve all gone through this and more :(

@Frillyfarmer @InDreamland I’m ok thanks. Mother’s Day was a difficult one but I know it is for many people. I’ve started thinking of all the first I’ll have without my little girl and the milestone days like mother’s day, Christmas and birthdays will always be hard but perhaps once the first year is out of the way it might all be a bit easier to handle. And maybe before then I’ll be pregnant again all being well.

I’m still not TTC yet though and still haven’t DTD - I feel like this is a joke now, I’ve been on the TTC thread for weeks and won’t DTD 😬 A big part of it is being scared of it after having had a baby!! And ironically I’m scared of getting pregnant too soon. It’s the worst irony ever - I don’t want to have sex as I’ve just had a baby (well 7 weeks sho now) but then I don’t actually have a living baby and I want a baby. But I’m scared of getting pregnant too in case anything goes wrong and I’d blame myself for now waiting long enough. And I’m 35.

I tried temping but I found it such a hassle. I forgot two days out of the three and the time I did do it I didn’t note the temp as I thought it had a memory function but not sure how that works...

@InDreamland your OH seems to have the same slightly arrogant attitude that mine has. When I was pregnant I was so anxious and careful and I wanted him to stop smoking so he wouldn’t be exposing the baby to it (although he didn’t smoke around me directly) and he just didn’t seem to accept anything he did could affect the baby. He’d be the same about TTC. He has two children from a previous relationship so thinks he is super fertile but they are teenagers so things could have changed! It’s not the same but I can imagine him being as you’ve described 🤦‍♀️ That doesn’t help either because I’m the only one of us without a living child. Anyway your OH shouldn’t have made you feel like that regardless of whose “fault” it was that you had difficulty with conceiving.

Sorry feel like I’ve just let out everything that’s ever been on my mind there.

@ale2992 fx for when you do test.

@Mistymeow @Raincart2017 thank you. We had a long chat last night and I think he is finally understanding why I'm so upset and angry. He says he feels terrible so I have to trust him that in future he'll listen to me and everything will now be a proper team effort.

@Keyboard91 sorry you find yourself here. It's a very supportive group. Your feelings and reactions are totally normal and natural. Mc is a very traumatic experience. I hope you find this thread a support but also that you have support from others around you. Try find time to properly talk to your DP about how you're feeling about it all but also give him a chance to say how he really feels too about your loss. Men have a strange way of coping and sometimes need to feel they are allowed to voice and show their grief rather than feeling they have to be strong.

@AliceRR don't apologise. 7 weeks is nothing when you've lost your baby. Don't pressure yourself, just do what feels right for you and take things one step and day at a time. Have you had any counselling? Yes men can be right idiots at times and need a wake up call, think mine has finally had one.

Hi,
Can I join...
30 TTC number 1
Miscarriage at 12 weeks in July 2018

TTC since then, cycles have just returned to a consistent length.

1st month of using ovulation test.
Currently 5dpo

Bled for two weeks thinking it was happening naturally, but it didn't... so then had the op. Bled for two weeks after. Then got put on antibiotics for suspected infection.

Had really sore boobs last few days -flipping agony, noticed EWCM yesterday, but then some bleeding yesterday arvo/eve. Nothing overnight, but bleeding again today. I am so very confused by my body right now!!!

Pregnancy tests are coming back negative.

I just want to get back to some sense of normality. This has all been so dragged out.

Was really sad/disappointed that only one friend recognised that Mother's Day might be hard for me. Not one family member acknowledged it.

Hope I'm OK joining

37 TTC #1
Miscarriage at 7weeks Dec 2018

TTC since then with fairly regular cycles since although last month was a short one at 24 days so didn't really know when ovulated this month (not been tracking).

Did a bit of secret POAS this morning and pretty sure I got a BFP although don't think I read it in time so can't be sure. DH came upstairs so hid the test in wardrobe and by the time he went back downstairs it was over the 5min window.

Going to test again in the morning but just wondered how everyone else copes with the anxiety after a MC. I know there is nothing that can be done to prevent it happening again but can already feel myself starting to worry. I run regularly, do I need to ease back on this or just carry on as normal?

Name essexgirlupnortj
Age 38
TTC#2 since September 2016
MMC Jan 19 baby 13 weeks baby measured 7

Cycle two since my miscarriage now in two week weight after getting a peak on my monitor Sunday and Monday.

Not getting my hopes up as was inconsolable when AF turned up last month just want to be pregnant again and scared it will.newver happen. Also two pregnancy announcements in last week one having twins who already has two girls and one who was adamant she was never having any kids but has changed her mind which must be really hard on her best friend who is desperate for a child and unlikely to have one because of endometriosis.

So I have a test for the morning, worried it will be bfn now though as I've had mild cramping

Hi All,
Welcome to all of the newbies, so sorry you find yourself here, but this is a really nice supportive group.

@laney79 I am sorry that you are having such a tough time. I hope you got some answers with the test results. @Indreamland glad to hear that your partner is getting to see a specialist. I have DH booked in for sperm tests next week, and I do feel your pain, as I feel like I have strong armed him into it. He has a child from a previous marriage so whilst he has never said it, the finger does point in my direction. @lillimum6 fingers crossed this cycle. @Russkispy @boboelephant - hope you are both doing well and managing to enjoy some of your pregnancies.

As for me, I had a bit of a surprise at my St Mary's RMC follow up appointment today. A few weeks ago I had a follow up at my local hospital,, and the initial bloods they had done showed nothing. They agreed to prescribe cyclogest, and aspirin from 6 weeks.

Today at St Mary's RMC they have given me a conclusive diagnosis of APS. Apparently my lupus and anticardiolipin was normal, but on both lots of bloods they did (6 weeks apart) there was a clear problem with my Beta 2- glycoprotein, which is a less common indicative of APS. I was in total shock, as wasn't expecting anything other than try again, you are fine. As with others with APS I will need to have aspirin and heparin when I next fall pregnant. I actually went into shock a bit with the news, and haven't fully processed what this means health wise yet, as it was so totally unexpected. @Yukka if you are still around on the threads I hope your pregnancy is going well and welcome your advice.

I am still waiting for my NK biopsy results (due in the next few weeks) and plan to start trying in June (once I have had a mojito soaked honeymoon :-)).

I guess my advice to anyone is keep fighting, I had to push my GP for the St Mary's referral, and after the local bloods showed nothing I felt like a bit of a time waster (local NHS tests and St Mary's), but I am really glad I have kept fighting, as I now have a small ray of hope for the future. xx

@AliceRR you're doing so well, I imagine the mix of feelings on TTC is completely normal.

Did you deliver your little girl VB? With my DS, after a VB I was advised that I wouldn't want to DTD for at least 12 weeks. We did do it sooner than that but physically childbirth can take your vagina a long time to recover from, especially if you've had complications or tears (I had a labial tear and 9 stitches). Are you and DH having counselling for your loss?

@InDreamland I hope he takes it seriously now. My DH was like @AliceRR with DS, completely ignorant that anything that he did had any impact on anything.

Hi ladies so this tww is already doing my head in. I'm imaging all the symptoms under the sun, sore boobs, spots, cramps, bloated, wind and even thirsty and hungry. It truly rediculous because even if we did catch this month it's not even implanted yet. First tww back on the train and I'm loopy perfect!!!

@Keyboard91 sorry for your loss. I started to get pms symptoms after my miscarriage last year which made me think I was pregnant again, so I made myself ignore them because it’s just so disappointing. Your feelings and dh’s behaviour is totally normal- I found reading the factsheets on the miscarriage association website reassuring. I’m sorry you feel alone, I too am 3 weeks since my latest mmc and feel just as alone with it as I did before. It will get easier.
@sophied1983 your symptoms sound like ovulation- I’m getting the same right now but no spotting. It’s so frustrating not knowing what’s going on after surgery but as long as there are no signs of infection it’s probably a case of waiting it out.
@fnej01 wow, that must have come as a surprise. How are you feeling about the diagnosis? I have heard that it’s very treatable but don’t have any experience myself.
@ale2992 I admire your patience. We do need a bfp on this thread so fingers crossed.
@russkispy @boboelephant have been thinking of you both and hope your pregnancies are progressing well.

Sorry to see the new joiners here but please feel free to ask any questions- we will support you x

Thanks everyone.
Still not tested but af doesn't show tomorrow I'm definitely late, I have four apps and two said she was due yesterday one today and the other tomorrow. My cycle is a bit out of sync due to the chemical I had last month. Hoping this isn't also making me late but I also have a lot of symptom.
Just trying to wait it out as long as poss as with my previous two pregnancies I found out early and they didn't stick.

@Mistymeow thanks for asking. I'm cd 15 and no sign of ovulation yet. My temps are low but a bit up and down but then so is my mood. Not sure if the hormones are causing it or the low mood is causing the fluctuating hormones.

How are you feeling?

@ale2992 good luck and well done for being so patient. I don't blame you as I'll be waiting too next time after my chemical.

Hi everyone. I'm fairly new here so if apologies if any of her have already answered these questions. My history is 3 early miscarriages in the last 5 months. I'm waiting for an NHS referral but we dont have a recurrent miscarriage clinic specifically near me. We are going to the Coventry clinic in June but I have started to wonder about getting some blood tests done privately. I've heard such varying things about tests run on the NHS and how deeply they'll look into thjngs, not to mention the wait you might be looking at. So my question to you ladies would be; which blood tests do you think I really would need to have done to unearth any potential issues? Obviously I am having the NK testing done in Coventry but feel I need to rule everything else out before then. Obviously it will be dependant on price but its already been three weeks since my gp referred me and I've not had a letter yet. Of course the NHS is amazing and I understand they are busy but as I'm sure you ladies understand, I feel that I need to take control. Thank you in advance and wishing you all love and strength 💖

Also just to mention, we already have a 2 year old daughter who was conceived first time, no issues
X

Thank you all for the warm welcome ❤️

@InDreamland @Mistymeow DP and I actually had a row yesterday which ended up with sobs from both parties and we spoke openly about it, properly, for the first time. I think we both tried to be brave for the other, meaning we neglected our own needs etc as a result. We are definitely in a much better place now we’ve spoken.

I’m due on Friday, bfn this morning. We’ve decided if it’s not a pregnancy then I will book a Gp appointment next week just to check everything is okay, and then will try and ignore symptoms (although these boobs are really hard to ignore!). DP is going to hide tests and will give me one on the day I’m due if no AF to stop me POAS all the damn time. I’ve done 3 this cycle so far, and 7 between the MC and AF ... all FRER so you can imagine the cost.... 😳.

Sending love to everyone xxxx

@Mistymeow thanks for the reply. Tbh am struggling to get my head around the diagnosis, as it was very unexpected based on my other results. Also getting my head around the wider health implications. Sorry to read that you have had a further loss. I hope you are coping ok. I think it is you that was about to start ivf, is that still on the cards?

@Lsmummy1 I am awaiting my NK results from Coventry at the moment. They only do the uterine biopsy at the clinic I went to, you will need either a local RMC or somewhere else to do bloods I think, unless you can get under them as your RMC. I am planning on having my second biopsy in June. They were lovely despite it being a horrible procedure. I didn't get to see the Prof on my first visit as they were unwell, so hoping to see them on my second.

@ale2992 fingers crossed for when you test

@InDreamlandy My employer has set up counselling for both of us and our first session is on Monday evening.

@frillyfarmer Yes it was VB and part of it is definitely fear of DTD! I had a tear but think it was slight with one or two stitches but I’m still not sure... I know lots of women in my position try to conceive again on their first cycle but that was too soon for me. It’s only now I’m feeling I might be about ready to DTD but still not quite TTC yet. Having said that I might feel like it next month. If I can, I’d like to wait til my third cycle, which would be next month.

@moonpeace We’ve just moved house so it’s nice to have a change of scenery that way but I’d like a spa break. We’d been planning to do that but out it off until after the move. In the meantime I went back to the gym for the first time this week just to use the steam room and sauna as I still feel like everything hurts if I’m on my feet too much and we don’t have a bath yet in the new house. I’m going to go this afternoon if I can pull myself away from the TV (Game of Thrones)

I am seeing the GP tomorrow for my 6 weeks check up and also have a physio appointment as the midwife said my abs had split a lot. I’ve put off exercising (not that I can do much but I wouldn’t mind yoga or pilates) until I’ve seen the physio.

X

@fnej01 Thanks for your reply. Just so frustrating having to wait in limbo and just have no idea why this has happened to us three times now. Please keep us updated re the clinic in Coventry, I've heard so many sucessful stories from there, and also how lovely they are there. I feel like I'm just wishing the time away until we can book in tbh (June). Xx

@Lsmummy1 I completely understand the wishing time away, my third MC was in October, and we have been on hold ever since from trying whilst we get tested (bloods and RMC) and results etc. Its hard to take the pause but think I am happier and healthier for it. We plan to have the second biopsy in May and then start trying again in June. I will let you know when I get my results. It will be 4 weeks Friday so am hoping soon!

Caved and tested. BFN