TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@strawberrye this was with St Mary's London. Although have had NK with Coventry also

Sorry just flying in and off the thread. Hectic week this week. Feels like it has been a difficult one for many of us. You are all in my thoughts

So I’m thinking my spotting is now more bleeding and so more likely to be early AF than IB. Strange though as I have weird symptoms like strange taste in my mouth, but off my food, feeling sick and lightheaded... maybe I’m coming down with something

Sorry you find yourself here @Unicornsandrainbows1 and sorry for your losses

@TinyPaws I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like it was out of the blue too, which makes it even harder emotionally. I hope you are both okay. You will rally. You will find a way forward. Hugs for both of you; xxx

@Laney79 How are you doing since the BFP?

@Unicornsandrainbows1 I'm sorry you've found yourself back on the thread; but welcome back to the huddle. Hugs xxx

@KnitKitty I'm doing ok thanks - only 4 weeks today so a very long way to go. Been burpy, tired, slightly nauseous, and boobs ache so ok so far. Obviously petrified. Desperately searching for a way to make sure I have some progesterone to take on holiday with me as we fly when I'm 8 weeks, and if I bleed whilst I'm away I want to try the progesterone after what the prism trial revealed...no luck so far! I lm just hoping with all my might that this is my one.

@TinyPaws so sorry to hear that-does your partner have a union who could help?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I'm so so sorry lovely xxx

Hugs and baby dust to all xxx

@Bluebelltulip @KnitKitty @Laney79 Thanks, she recently passed probation, got a performance related bonus and had no prior disciplinary record so it was a big shock. I think it was less about not wanting her in the job and more about wanting someone else in it though. Very cross but there's not much we can do about it - she's been there less than 2 years so can't go to tribunal for unfair dismissal. Could appeal internally (they've not followed their own disciplinary procedure) but there seems little point as if her manager wants her out he'll find a way to make it happen and she doesn't want to work there anymore anyway.

IVF is really expensive and this had kind of screwed our finances. We can probably still afford to transfer our frozen embryo but the fresh round we'd planned to do if that fails might have to go on hold now.

@TinyPaws I'm so sorry about your partner's job. Will they give her a reference going forwards?

@InDreamland hang on in there, 7/8DPO is eeeeeearly, you're not out till you're out.

@AliceRR sorry to hear you think it's early AF. You're still very fresh out of giving birth and it might take a little bit to truly settle. After I finished BF I thought my cycles were bang back to 28 days but I then had two 21 days and a 32 day - our bodies love to play games.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I'm so sorry you're back here. I think I'd seen you on the same bus, big big huddle in.

I'm CD10 and started the mindlessness of OPKs. I think the amount of obsession I go at with each cycle numbs out a lot of the struggles of miscarriage. I'd forgotten I mad I was when TTC.

@Frillyfarmer Thanks. I think you’re right. And my periods seem so much more of a pain since giving birth. I had so many symptoms that I don’t think I used to have, which contributed to me thinking I had pregnancy symptoms.

@unicornsandrainbows1 so sorry. I hope it’s just a brief stay and you get your bfp very soon. We are all here for you.
@tinypaws terrible news, I’m really sorry. Identical to my dh except he managed to get a new job before they could fire him. His manager was threatened by him. He now excels in his new job. She will find something new and better. She sounds highly qualified and will go all out to get something now. It’s awful timing with the ivf but you will get through it.
@alicerr sorry if it seems like it is af. I had a few weird afs last year but didn’t stop me conceiving.
@lilimum7 It’s nhs but it’s completely separate to miscarriage and hormone related (my dh doesn’t produce testosterone naturally due to a genetic condition). If your partner has an existing health condition does he see a consultant for it? Can it affect his sperm? It seems unlikely as you are conceiving so easily.

The sperm dna fragmentation is very interesting, thanks for sharing. I asked my husband’s endocrinologist if his sperm could cause the miscarriage (because his levels are low). She said he is no more at risk of causing a miscarriage than any other man with normal results, because an abnormal sperm wouldn’t fertilise the egg. She said she wasn’t an expert on this and to ask the RMC but she reiterated that there was no link between dh’s condition and miscarriage. So that was reassuring.

@Laney79 will your private doctor at the fertility clinic not write you up for the progesterone? It might cost but might be worth a try?

@TinyPaws really sorry to hear about your OH job. Hope your luck turns.

@AliceRR sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with your cycles. Hope it isn't AF and you are still within a chance this cycle.

@KnitKitty 🤞for you. I completely get the condom comments and how nice it must be to be back trying! I literally can't wait for next cycle after 7 months off.

Wishing you all a lovely weekend x

Hi all just dropping in to say hi. Sorry to see a few familiar names here xx

@ale2992 I was told to not do anything other that specific pregnancy yoga until after 12 weeks. That said yoga teachers won’t do pregnancy classes until you are 12 weeks, so simple walks etc and let your body rest.

@laney79 glad your staying positive Hun xx

@alicerr and everyone else in tww thinking of you!

@tinypaws that’s madness, are you able to say on what grounds, if they didn’t follow procedure then it’s automatically unfair dismissal and she has a case for compensation

@Yukka I hope you're getting on well and able to relax into it all now?

Was it you who is all knowledgeable on CP? My first MC was at 5 weeks and I had retained products so it dragged on for 7weeks before I got my BFN. But my GP said yesterday that they "might not count it as early MC as it was technically a CP". I'm sure someone on here knew the intricacies of very early MC VS a CP? I'm resisting the temptation to google it because inevitably google will give me anxiety I really don't need!

@frillyfarmer all my pregnancies have been lost around 5 weeks and therefore "chemical pregnancies", however all have counted and am being seen in Tommys next month

@frillyfarmer I have had one MMC, baby stopped developing at 6 weeks, and 3 'CP's... Positive tests before period arriving just after it was due. (Not counting another one I'm sure happened but never tested for). I was referred to RMC no questions asked. Consultants wrote down my losses as being between 4-5 weeks and never said these didn't count as 'real' losses. If it's happening repeatedly it needs looking into.

Hi @ frillyfarmer, medically, unless you were under a medical trial or very close management there is no way of differentiating between a chemical pregnancy or early mc. Chemical refers to a fertilised egg (or blastocyst) that doesnt develop into an embryo (which occurs within 3 wks of conception and only after implantation) but the body creates enough hcg for bfp until it recognises the next step hasn’t occurred and begins to expel. Unless remains are tested... no-one knows. This is why they should be counted as mc - you had a bfp followed by a bleed, followed by and bfn. That’s clinically an mc.

But it could have been something else that caused it - failed implantation due to a blood disorder, or implantation was good but chromosome development failed making it incompatible with life.

Any gp that says it might not be counted needs to go back to med school, it makes me angry. Or rather just do their job as a GP and refer you to the specialists.

Deff don’t accept this. I had two at 5 weeks and neither were challenged, even see a diff go if you need to xxx

I’m good thanks, all going well here. Deff settled but the time is flying. It takes a while to accept pregnancy after loss I think and part of me feels only just pregnant.., yet I only have 10 weeks to go. I can sense the worry building up again as to is it really going to happen. Will I really have this baby in my arms in just ten weeks?

Today is a year since my 3rd mc too which was really bad, so I’m a bit emotional. New babies don’t replace the ones we lost 😢

As ever we have to stay positive, keep breathing and focus on what’s going well. There’s no other way x

Thank you @strawberrye @KnitKitty @Yukka that's reassuring to read. I agree, a lot of GPs "views" are not necessarily helpful. I'd just assumed that because there was retained products for several weeks and a rising HCG, it couldn't possibly be a CP as the definition appears to be a rather short lived BFP, which mine wasn't. So they scanned me at 5 weeks and couldn't see anything, but that BFP remained for another 7 weeks...

10 weeks will fly by @Yukka do you know what you're having? I can imagine pregnancy after loss has taken every bit of shine away. I was so naive when I had my DS and I had an uncomplicated pregnancy up to 32 weeks where I developed GD, PE and swelled up like Mr Blobby!

I'm a Day past where I got to last time when I had a CP now 4w+6!
Good luck @ale2992 - with exercise I read your not supposed to get your heart rate above. 120 mine is usually up at 140 when I'm at the gym - I didn't go to the gym this week since I found out I was pregnant on Tuesday but I may go next week just not do any weights or the rower and take it easy on the treadmill and bike!! X

@mummybearboo these small milestones are so important, fingers crossed for you.

@frillyfarmer no we haven’t found out the gender, it will be a nice surprise. I’m borderline for GD so they want to test again in a few weeks. Hopefully it will be fine.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 so sorry you find yourself back here.

@AliceRR sorry you think AF is coming. Fx is still implantation.

@TinyPaws I'm so sorry your OH lost her job, that's just awful. Hope you can both get through it and finds a better job and company to work for.

@Frillyfarmer thanks. Tested again this morning, 8/9 dpo, thought I had a squinter but then realised I was imagining it. I so desperately wanted to give DH a BFP this morning for our wedding anniversary.

So yesterday was a year ago since my first ever BFP and the day before I suffered my fourth loss, all within a year. Absolutely crap but I've got to keep moving forward.

So, my question is where next? I had the standard NHS blood tests after my third, and the tissue has been sent off for testing. I'm thinking there has got to be something wrong because four losses is a lot isn't it? Has anybody had the NK cells test done? I'm wondering if to self refer to Professor Quenby as I've read she does this test. DH also wants to visit care fertility as is convinced it's his sperm. But every consultant I've seen said if I'm getting pregnant it's not sperm quality. But Tommy's seem to think it's something now don't they?

@Yukka if you are, my experience was quite positive. I managed to diet control mine, but the bonus was lots more scans which I was grateful for. I was induced early as measuring big and I'd convinced myself I was giving birth to a toddler - my DS was 7lbs8.

@InDreamland I'm sorry. Perhaps lay off testing for a few days, as it's so early. If it's a BFP and it's your sticky one, you want it to be an important date in its own rite - another day in the calendar to make special 😊

@Pop1234 - they will tell you that there is always a chance it could be very bad luck although it's hard to swallow after four losses I imagine. If you can refer to Prof Q directly then there is nothing to lose by doing that? If your DH is happy to look at male factor then that also seems like a sensible thing to do - can you have that done on NHS or will it be self funded? I'm sorry you're going through this, have a big penguin hug xx

Thanks everyone. I think it’s definitely af now! It’s a proper bleed. It’s weird I had all those symptoms that I don’t usually get with af but I’ve read cycles can change after s baby and obviously things aren’t quite regular and back to normal yet. That would be fun except it’s just cruel when you don’t have a baby! So I’ve been feeling a bit crappy and like everything hurts and it just seems unfair that I am worrying about TTC when I was pregnant for a whole nine months and gave birth just to hoping to get pregnant again.

Sorry I’m feeling sorry for myself. Tired and hormonal.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

@InDreamland sorry you didn't get the anniversary present you wanted, hope it's just a late present.

@Pop1234 o gosh I didn't realise it had all been in one year, hoping the coming year is much better.

I'm finding early pregnancy much harder emotionally than I thought it would be, I knew it would be hard but not this hard. I dreamt last night that I lost this one as well. I'm torn between wanting an early scan in a few weeks and really not wanting a scan as the last one I had was when I found out my daughter's heart had stopped.

@Frillyfarmer it will be self funded, but I suppose if we get answers it's worth it. I just find the nhs hard work, as good as they have been to me I am just a number aren't I? I asked to speak with the consultant I was under whilst in hospital on Thursday because she was in. The response I got was "She will want to wait for your results from the genetic testing before discussing with you." That's fair enough but I just wanted to speak with her to give me some hope.

@Bluebelltulip yes all within a year. I have no problem getting pregnant, it's just holding it. I've tried googling loads but just can't seem to find anyone with a similar situation to mine. How many weeks are you?

I don't really know what to say to anyway but sending all round.

This week was our twins' due-week and I'm struggling big time today, especially as I got a 'congratulations' pack of baby stuff (wipes and other things) through the post from Emma's Diary this morning despite my filing out an 'end all communications' form in JANUARY telling them I'd lost my babies. Utter assholes.

Hi @Pop1234 wanted to check back in after the results of my miscarriage and the tissue testing. Apparently my baby had a very severe case of Turner's syndrome which was incompatible with life so I miscarried. Turners is where rather than XX or XY the baby is XO. Some babies survive (a bit like with Downe's) but have special needs throughout their lives. It was heartbreaking to hear but I'm pleased there are some answers... sorry I can't help any more with your RMC but would recommend hassling the docs for a quick apt when your tissue results come back in x