TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@Lilimum6 I can see a line in the inverted one

Morning everyone! I've come over to join you if that is ok as I've just started miscarrying I was about 5.5 weeks pregnant.

This is my third miscarriage, I also had one at about 6.5 weeks pregnant and one at about 4.5 weeks. Happily I also have a wonderful DD who is 3.

I haven't had a chance to read back the old posts yet so apologies if this has been covered, but is it worth going to the GP yet for testing? I know they don't test until you have had 3 miscarriages but do they need to be consecutive (my first was before my DD was born)?

I also have an underactive thyroid, diagnosed after my DD was born, and I'm wondering if that might be complicating things.

@ladybirdleaf

I’m sorry for your losses. This is a really supportive thread.

I don’t know how it works with consecutive early mc as I had a full term loss (my baby girl was stillborn in Feb) but I’m sure some of the other ladies will be able to help

I would have thought it is worth speaking to your GP anyway to get any support you can but I believe they do take into account that you’ve had a successful pregnancy xx

@ladybirdleaf my Fertility specialist told me that thyroid problems can have an impact on mc and decided to medicate me with 25mg of thyroxine to help prevent mc. However I still had a mc in February, but without testing didn't know if it was thyroid linked or poor egg quality. If you are being medicated for your thyroid I wouldn't worry too much just make sure you take it at a different time to other meds including conception vitamins as they can stop it working. It wouldn't harm having a chat with you gp if you are still concerned xx

@Lilimum6 that deffo looks like a line to me!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how are you getting on?

@ladybirdleaf welcome and sorry for your losses. I also have hypothyroidism. It can definitely cause miscarriage and infertility if not treated properly. Have you had your levels tested recently? Might be worth it because pregnancy is a known trigger for making thyroid function go a bit haywire

@frillyfarmer done frer just now but it made me none the wiser. With other pregnancies I had a much darker line. So not at all confident xx

@Lillimum6 I don’t think af is due for you get though, is it?

When I got pregnant with my baby girl last year I had a feeling I was pregnant as I had symptoms but the test I did a few days before af was due was negative (or line was so light I didn’t see it)

Once af was due it was a clear positive

Your tests seem to be getting darker

@AliceRR af should be due in 5 days as my LP is around 15 days according to FF.

With me last 2 pregnancies I had a really good line by 9 dpo.

The pro to all this is at least I'm ovulating which until a few days ago I thought I wasn't.

@Mistymeow How are your boobs? If you don't mind me asking...

@frillyfarmer What your GP is saying doesn't sound right. Can you get a second opinion? Surely they still do RMC tests even if it's not your first????

@InDreamland It's hard to say yet whether it has helped with fertility. I guess technically I was perfectly fertile before as I was getting pregnant easily; it's more the keeping a pregnancy which has been a problem. Hopefully I'll have an answer in a few month's time. I do definitely feel I have benefited from it though. I think it has helped regulate me and balance my body. Some others on here who've started acupuncture have got pregnant quite quickly after starting it. I figure, it's worth a shot?

@Strawberrye I'm sorry you're struggling. I can understand why. Remind me when your chemicals happened? (I hate that word, don't you? I prefer to call mine early miscarriages). Getting the thyroid sorted is very positive and the first step you needed to take to have a successful pregnancy. But remember, you were back to square one in January, and perfectly healthy couples can take many months to conceive and that's perfectly normal (although maddening). These stories of other women having something fixed and then BAM! are encouraging and give us hope, but remember we're all different. This will happen for you when the timing is right. I believe it will happen for you. And I really hope it happens soon. I also think these women who have these amazing miracles happen are a lot more likely to share their experience online, so it gives a skewed idea of what's normal. Stay strong. Don't feel defeated. xxx
Oh, and it's so annoying and disheartening when people make that comment about "in the old days it wouldn't even be a recognised pregnancy"... Well, we don't live in the olden days, luckily, so we can make steps to stopping this happening, surely. Women back then were left with no support or advice, surely that's not how they still want to treat us??? It's like telling someone with fibroyds or something, well in the olden days they would just think you had bad periods. Maddening!!! Who cares what they thought in the past? We know better! And surely if they were having recurrent chemicals they would then be investigated for infertility anyhow... so what's the difference really? I should probably go and calm down now; rant over.

@Squiff70 Hugs. Are you getting help? Counselling? xxx

@Lilimum6 Yes, I see a line. Good luck xxx The line strength will depend when you implant. Your previous ones may have implanted a lot quicker than (hopefully) this one...

@ladybirdleaf Welcome to the thread and sorry for your losses. I would go to the GP and ask them about it and especially ask that your thyroid is checked out. xxx

I'm curious; those of you taking Vit D; is this on top of a multi-vitamin, or as well as?

I had disappointment yesterday; my pharmacy didn't have my prescription, so I'm still waiting to get it.
We may have accidentally had unprotected sex yesterday though! It sort of just happened... I think it's too early for it to result in anything. I was CD8 yesterday. Just hoping I've not done something stupid. I'm not going to think about it now, and I won't get my hopes up - it was early in my cycle. I have to say though, after months of using condoms, it was very nice.

Also, I wanted to ask you ladies if you believe there is a psychological element to your losses (mainly for those who have had recurrent MC).
I've just been wondering because I've been doing a lot of thinking about it myself. Some of you may remember that I had two wombs and one of them got taken out.
When I was a teen a gynae told me the womb I still have wouldn't be able to sustain a pregnancy and so I would need IVF to have children, to implant into the other womb. This was actually wrong because they misdiagnosed what my womb deformity was, and anther gynae told me a few years later (when the other womb had been removed) that I could have children naturally.
I've just been wondering if I have a mental block about being pregnant with the remaining womb; or feel like I don't deserve it or something?
Anyway, it's something I've been thinking through and trying to work on.
Just interested to know if any of you have had similar insights or thoughts?

@KnitKitty I understand where you are coming from with the psychological. After MC one I was convinced I would end up having 3 and being at RMC, low and behold 6 months later I was there. I do think sometimes you attract your future. On the other hand now with two diagnoses I wonder if my intuition was just telling me
I had something wrong as I am generally fairly in tune with myself. I do think that the mind is a powerful thing tho, and do sometimes. try to visualise myself with my baby in my arms, just in case I can attract it. All a bit hippy I know x

So many bfps since I was last on! Congratulations! Fingers crossed all goes well this time for you all!

@Laney79 that is such good timing before you started IVF! Your line progression is looking good too :)

@Mistymeow it is really disheartening. I think I have been pinning a pot of hope onto acupuncture and my thyroid being normal now (and a recent holiday) but it seems literally nothing I do is helping. Thankfully our Tommy's appointment is next month - my GP is generally good but I had a nightmare with the secretaries getting the referral sent. It was written for 6 weeks before they sent it to the right place! Frustrating because I would have been seen by Tommy's by now otherwise. Anyway sorry I'm being a Negative Nancy. I really feel though that life could cut me some slack and give me some luck in this TTC game for once!

I totally understand what you mean about feeling like that poor couple who everyone feels sorry for because they can't have a baby, and everyone else is. It sucks and I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Where are you off to for a month? Sounds like a lovely opportunity to get away from it all

Thanks for the nice words, I feel a bit better today.
@knitkitty don’t mind you asking at all! Nowhere near as painful and lump seems to be going down, so I’m hoping to avoid the breast clinic.
@lilimum6 can see that line quite easily, tentatively excited for you!

The psychological aspect is interesting. I think I agree with @fnej01 in that there is an element of intuition. Or perhaps we look for these things with the benefit of hindsight as a way of trying to understanding that seemingly impossible question- why me? I found it fascinating when the sonographer told me that when my miscarriage was confirmed, the mind has a way of catching up to the body and I would probably start bleeding. There is a connection. I have also read (might be nhs site, so reputable) that women with a history of miscarriage who have extra scans in early pregnancy generally have better outcomes. But then I have also been told that stress in itself does not cause miscarriage, which is very important to realise.

Oh and yes @Mistymeow I think we should be eligible for IVF, we are both late 20s, non smokers, BMI 20-21, no children. I will be interested to hear what professor quenby has to say about if/when we should be pursuing the fertility route.

@KnitKitty they were January 2018, April 2018 and November 2018. It seems like it is taking us longer and longer to get pregnant so I wonder if there is some immune aspect of it? Thank you for your rant, it has made me feel better that I'm not the only one frustrated by those comments.

Interesting points about the psychological aspect. I don't think you can think yourself into having miscarriage if you know what I mean - when we started TTC I believed we would get pregnant quickly and easily haha!! But I agree I think there is an element of intuition. I am a bit skeptical about the visualisation aspects as I always can see myself being heavily pregnant, breastfeeding, giving birth even - though I have never experienced any of these things - and it hasn't got me success yet! However it can't harm to positively reaffirm to ourselves - unless it makes the disappointment every month more difficult. I agree as well it is important to acknowledge there is no evidence stress causes miscarriage, because there is enough self blame in loss as it is.

So this happened this morning. I'm not convinced yet as it's only 11dpo and the lines on frer aren't getting any darker. I'm just praying it's not another chemical.
Really thought I'd be excited and desperately wanted to be pregnant before my due date it 2 days, but all I can think is how will it end this time. 7 pregnancies and no baby kind of kills the joy. If I can make it to 12 weeks I'll celebrate x
I'm sorry to sound so ungrateful, I am happy but mostly scared if I'm honest.

@strawberrye @Mistymeow in terms of stress my doctor told me stress doesn't cause infertility, infertility causes stress, and another consultant said if stress was a factor no babies would be born in war zones or the like which makes sense to me.

In case anyone is interested there's some videos on this link: www.rcog.org.uk/en/patients/fertility/presentations/
Of the presentations that were given at the fertility forum a month or so ago. There's one from Lesley Reagan the miscarriage specialist at st Mary's all about recurrent MC but also stuff about fertility counselling, donor eggs, ivf abroad etc...think they are adding more each week. Might be helpful. X

@Lilimum6 that's great news! Is that your clear blue monitor? What's the sensitivity of the test?. Really good to get a positive at 11dpo on a non frer! I know it's hard for you to be positive so I'll try to be positive for you xxx

@Laney79 yes hun clearblue monitor. But the frer are still vvl so I'm not feeling confident

But your only 11dpo and clearblue generally aren't as sensitive as frees so the fact the monitor says your pregnant is a good sign. When is AF due? I'd try to hold out for a couple of days and test again with fmu...fingers crossed for you xxx

*frer

@Laney79 AF is due Friday hun. I'll just have to wait and see. Mantra ' I'm pregnant today'

@Lilimum6 I had a stinking dark line at 10DPO this last MC, and my DS was a squinter until after AF due. Try to relax, hope this is your sticky! X

@Lilimum6 that's looking good - I'm hoping and praying this is it for you!