TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@Frillyfarmer thanks lovely you too. Just can't believe it. Yes had a scan and bloods done on Saturday. Nothing could be seen in womb then back to hospital today further scan deff morning just blood in womb and more bloods. Hcg has gone down from 1900 to 400. Hoping to get passed this soon. Have you got your bfp yet? X

@frillyfarmer It is strange because my mum is probably the person after me who has felt the loss of Ruby the most, maybe even more than my DH, because she is a mother and she understands and she held Ruby in the hospital. She says she cries about Ruby every day and she visits her in the cemetery. So she does understand how awful it is for us I think. Maybe she just doesn’t think or maybe because I seem ok and I don’t cry constantly she thinks it’s fine. I had my friend over with her four week old baby on Saturday so maybe she thinks I’m stronger than I am 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know she doesn’t mean it but I will say something if she does it again. I’m hormonal anyway so... 😬

Hi all. Can I join?

We’re TTC #5 (madness, I know!) and I miscarried twice inbetween 3 and 4 (so not recently) but I could do with the extra support whilst we’re TTC, if that’s okay?

@FirstTimeMama91 that sounds positive, hopefully your HCG continues to drop off quickly.

This is my first proper cycle since MC, I'm on CD 17 and fairly sure I ovulated on Sunday - not sure I'm ready to put myself through the hope of the TWW but luckily I've got a big valuation on at work this week which will distract me from the mindlessness of my own thoughts!!

@Frillyfarmer fingers crossed.

Awk yes keep yourself distracted. I've taken the week off work just to give myself time to rest and heal.

What a difference a week makes eh

@AfterLaughter yes of course! We're all here to support each other

Thank you @Laney79 @Bluebelltulip @Newbie21 @AliceRR. I really want a family so much but I also want my babies back. The one that was due January and should now be 10 weeks old, and our second that I should be about 26 weeks pregnant with now. I am struggling to focus on much else in my life but I feel like no one really understands.

@Lilimum6 sorry you're feeling low. Keeping fx for you that you have a sticky BFP very soon.

@Laney79 hope the appointment/consultation goes well today and there is a way forward.

@AliceRR sorry people are being insensitive and saying things without thinking. I reckon we've all had the wrong things said to us about our losses and having another one. People don't get that it's more than wanting a baby, we're grieving the loss of a much loved and wanted baby that we had plans for. I try to ignore the comments but it is really hard isn't it.

@Boboelephant congratulations! Amazing news. Twins is so exciting. I'd love to have twins.

@Russkispy how are you? Your HCG levels sounds like it's a good sign.

Sorry if I've missed anyone. Hugs to anyone having a rubbish time at the moment.

I think I've resigned myself to the fact I joined in July last year but will still be here for a year longer at least. Joined after mc#1 but have since had mc#2. Given latest results and my age I think it'll be a very long and painful journey to getting a family if we ever have one. What if we can never have a live birth?

Thankyou

I stopped taking my pill (Cerazette) at the weekend. Haven’t had a period in months; no idea what’s going on with my cycle No period as of yet.

FertilityFriend has been downloaded and OPKs ordered. My other DC were conceived in my 20s; I’m 33 now so I feel I should be more proactive?!

@Dimblebimble did you cal epu in the end.

Thanks ladies for your kind words. It seems I was wrong about af. She still hasn't started yet and the spotting has stopped starting to wonder if that was it all I'm getting this cycle or maybe it's early menopause. My family has a history of early menopause. The last af was so short it lasted a total of 2 1/2 days, I've never had them this short before.

@AfterLaughter hello and welcome.

Hope you don't mind me asking how far along were you with your mc's and did you ever find out why they happened?

Good luck for baby #5 fingers crossed for plain sailing

@Lilimum6

7 weeks with the first one and 8 weeks with the second one.

Not a clue. My Great Aunt helpfully suggested that they were boys and my body doesn’t like boys

@AfterLaughter my mum said the same.

She had me, then my brother whom died due to being born early (she was in and out of hospital the whole pregnancy) then my sister. So I guess it's possible. I take it you have 4 beautiful little ladies then 😊

@Lilimum6 I do yes They’re 10/8/3/1. It took me a while after the second loss to want to try again. We had planned 3, DC4 was a total surprise. I know people sneer at big families, but we have the money, space and the time so, why not? In for a penny, in for a pound at this point.

@AfterLaughter I'd love a big family. Sadly I left it too late and at 37 and 6 mc's ill be looky if I get 1. I bet your super proud of your beauties though. Don't listen to negative people like that hun. I bet your a excellent mum xx

@Lilimum6 - how old are you if you don't mind me asking? I only ask as my colleague in her early 40s had a m/c recently and said her periods were 2-3 days long. A lot shorter than before the m/c.

My mum wrote this to me last night...

This is what she sent me by message last night, talking about the day we found out about the miscarriage:

I rang him (my hubby) the day you had the news about the baby not developing and said sorry to him and he said Sophie's sitting here, she'll ring you soon, I had to message that evening to find out what the problem was, hard when I knew from day one that you were pregnant and shared the upsets of each scan, it was cruel and thoughtless that neither John nor you just dropped a text to say the problem.

I'm actually speechless.

Have asked MN to remove my post as have obviously had a cut and paste fail!!!!

Ok second attempt!!!

Sorry for completely dropping out, partly due to the fact that I couldn’t log in and also partly due to the fact I have been really struggling and just wanted to bury my head in the sand.

@AliceRR sorry to hear you have been having a hard time with your mum. I can imagine it’s very difficult for people to know what to say but sometimes nothing is better than insensitive comments! I hope you are doing as OK as you can be.

@InDreamland the results must have been a shock and I understand your feelings towards your husband. I am hoping that things start moving for you now you have some answers. Totally understand the feeling of cycles passing you by and counting key dates/milestones. The helpless feeling TTC brings, even without, what you and all of us have been through, is just horrible. Please hold on to hope and if you can’t know that we are all hoping for you. You will get your baby, you deserve it so much xxx

@AfterLaughter hello! Do not worry what people say about your lovely family. And also, I think that no matter how many children you have, loss is still awful and sad and I understand your desire for another. I have one DD (had a MC last summer at 10 weeks and ectopic in Feb at 8 weeks) and when people tell me I “am lucky to have one” or to be grateful for what I have, it fills me with rage!

@Dimblebimble did you call EPU? Thinking of you xxx

@Laney79 well done on overcoming your phobia for the acupuncture!

@Boboelephant how amazing! Your news gives me hope that things can turn unexpectedly and that even better things might be coming! I hope you are doing OK and aren’t feeling too sick/tired etc.

@Russkispy pleased to hear things are going well for you too! I hate announcements and (as bitter and jealous as I am) pregnant friends in real life, but hearing good news on here is just fantastic.

So now for the ‘me, me, me’ part… My cousin had her second baby last month, her due date was the same as the baby I lost last summer, and I have stayed off all social media as I just can’t even bear to see her and him. I was feeling really low yesterday and stupidly logged back in and started looking at people who I think will be announcing their second, literally torturing myself trying to guess who would be next…No one had but I know someone will and I am waiting for the horrible feelings it will inevitably bring up.

I had my period just before Mother’s Day (first one after the ectopic) which was horrendous and actually reminded me of the first MC. It left me feeling really low but at the same time I was happy that my body is “working” after the ectopic. It’s now approaching my fertile week and I feel really down as I want to try, I want another baby so much, but I have realised I am petrified. Please don’t judge me but DH and I haven’t even had sex since February when I found out I was pregnant, obviously part of that was recovery advice but I also feel so scared and weirded out by the surgey and my one tube…I can’t explain but I am not even sure I want to try and then I just feel like I am letting another month go by…

Sorry to anyone I have missed xxx

@Lilimum6 @InDreamland I totally get feeling like 'old cheese' as one of you said! Lost my first in April 2018 and gone on to lose 2 more. Still we keep trying.

@sophied1983 I'm 37 hun. I'm sorry about your mum hun x

@MyHeartIsBroken someone said that to my SIL after her miscarriage. She doesn’t have DC of her own but has my brothers DD. The miscarriage came after 2 failed IVF rounds and 1 successful one that sadly ended in a loss.

I’ll be honest. I wanted to throat punch them I’ve held her hand through the last 6 years of unexplained infertility (diagnosed when she was 24 after 18 months of not falling pregnant) and I’ve never felt such utter rage towards someone before.

Hello ladies

I'm nervously dropping in here! I had a miscarriage almost 4 weeks ago, I had to have surgical management and have only just stopped bleeding. We will hopefully start ttc again in a few months. I'm sure it will take my body a few months to settle down but at least I can get to grips with my cycles until then x

@Sophie1983 that's awful about what your mum said, I can understand her being upset about not knowing but it's up to you when and what you share with people.

@MyHeartIsBroken and @AfterLaughter I had someone say that to me on here days after my DD2 was stillborn when I was asking advice on looking after a toddler while grieving.

Looks like this cycle has been unsuccessful, have started spotting.

@BlueBellTulip What is wrong with people? Why do they think these things are helpful in anyway? Baffles me.