TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@Laney79 DM me re: IVF. Happy to talk though. We can connect on Facebook if that's easier for you.

Hi ladies, I had my d and c on the 8th March and have only just done a pregnancy test (never got round to it and was really stressed at work) and I've got a bit of a line still (see pics). Very faint but it's an internet cheapie so not that sensitive.

It was twins, could that be why? I've noticed darker (yellow, slightly orange) discharge but no smell at all. Should I phone the epu?

Hmm I just did another one from the same urine and it's clear 🙈😩 guess I will wait a week and check again.

@Dimblebimble I would call GP re the discharge, just to be safe and get swabs done and catch any infection early. It took six weeks for me to get a BFN after my early MC in jan so it's to abnormal.

I'm just back from a weekend away with friends - lots of drinking and fun and I feel completely like me again.

CD15, just had a positive OPK so I'm going to find DH!

Morning ladies. So sorry I dropped off for a week. I had the busiest week at work and weekend was no quieter. Also had a lot of thinking to do and just needed some time out from here since getting DH's results. He had an appointment on Friday with the private doctor which unfortunately I couldn't make because work was so busy. He says that things maybe don't look too bleak and apparently it's really common. He has more tests lined up then another consultation in a few weeks time which I'll go to with him. Hopefully things will start to improve but think that's all my hopes dashed for a Christmas New Year baby. Still TTC but in all honesty being realistic now about getting pregnant again for another few months. Am CD15 and got my static smiley on OPK on Saturday night. DTD lots.

Hope everyone is well. Will try and catch up on the thread.

Morning ladies. Quick update on the acupuncture...as most of you know I have a pretty extreme medical/needle phobia so paying someone to stick needles in me (and not for a test) is something I never thought I'd do...

I was very nervous as you’d expect but I managed to go through with the whole treatment. Some of the needles I didn’t feel, some I did but it was just a little uncomfortable but a couple did hurt and made me grimace/shout ow!

I can’t say I enjoyed it, certainly not in the way I enjoy my reflexology sessions but I suspect a lot of that is to do with my fear of the needles and everything else that’s going on. It hasn’t put me off, so I will try again but as I said it’s not easy for me-but it’s worth a try if it might help so I’ll persevere.

@InDreamland sounds like at least there's a plan to help you - but I get the sadness of no Xmas/new year baby.

@Dimblebimble I'd echo @Frillyfarmer and get checked at the gp just in case.

Thanks @TinyPaws and @Boboelephant for the DM's re: ivf. So much to think about.

Private specialist appt tomorrow, hoping my progesterone results will be back this afternoon. Is it only me that resents how hard this is? I know it's mean but I'm so jealous of the women who catch and have successful pregnancies so easily. X

@Indreamland glad your DH has had his appointment and you have a plan of tests. I hope the results appointment goes well in a few weeks. Good luck for this month TTC anyway.

@Laney79 I know other people that have found acupuncture relaxing but I can't imagine it being and I don't mind needles. Well done for trying it.

I'm now in the final days of my cycle, AF due Thursday, trying to hold off testing until then.

@InDreamland I totally understand the want for a Xmas/NY baby and the frustration of having cycles passing by but it is really positive that DH has had his appointment and that you are getting care and a plan of action. In this whole journey one of the hardest things, I find, is the helplessness we feel. Being able to try and do things to help and having appointments and tests, whilst annoying, do provide small milestones which I find helpful.

@Bluebelltulip fingers crossed this is your month! When do you plan to test? Are you waiting for AF to be late? I'm only at DPO 4 so the waiting and frustration has begun.

@Laney79 well done you for facing your fear! I had acupuncture to try and bring on Labour with my DS. I hear a lot of talk about it being helpful with TTC. What aspects does it help with?

@Newbie21 AF is due Thursday but 14 DPO is tomorrow as CM predicted ovulation was early, I think I'm going to wait until Thursday if I can.

Hello ladies sorry I've not been around. I've been sulking tbh.
I'm starting to feel like old cheese. I joined this group at thread 14 after my 3rd mc but first mmc. I've been here for another 2x mmc and a cp. Really starting to lose all hope. I have rmc appointment in May 14 just 4 days after my due date, its just so unfair. I am praying they can fix me. I think it's just a bit raw as I started spotting this morning and by tonight it'll be full flow. Not to mention every media outlet is banging on about Megan markles baby, Facebook baby bombs and prams and bumps everywhere. Sorry I'm being so down probably hormones. Rant over - sorry

I think you are perfectly entitled to sulk and rant @lillimum6 I hope you get something useful from the rmc clinic. Also completely understandable to feel worse when af arrives, I wish our bodies had a nicer way of telling us we aren't pregnant.

@Lilimum6 that's so normal, and AF brings back unpleasant shitty feelings for a lot of us with MCs - I hope she buggers off quickly for you.

I can't imagine how you feel, being on these threads for so long with not much feeling of progression. I'm the most impatient person ever and the ongoing process of waiting for my body fix up and get back on track has given me some quite dark feelings.

I've found a lot of comfort in this weekend's break from reality and for anyone struggling, I'd recommend somewhere remote and beautiful for a few days away. We went to Exmoor and a weekend in the middle of nowhere with friends - I just feel like I've been reset after a few days away from my constant thoughts.

I hope everyone is doing ok xxx

@Lillimum6 Sorry you are feeling that way. I’m struggling with hormones too (I get severe PMS) and it doesn’t make anything easier. I cried today after I missed a delivery! I was crying because of that but I just sort of spiralled. I’m having that sort of day. Know you are not alone

@Laney79 well done for giving the acupuncture a go. Do you think you’ll go again? Would you recommend reflexology

@InDreamland Hope you feel more positive. It’s so hard. I’m trying not to focus on being pregnant by a certain time.

My Mum has said again “hopefully we’ll have another baby by this time next year”. Well yes that would be amazing but doesn’t leave a lot of time and it’s not always as easy as that. Sometimes I wish she’d think before she spoke. I wasn’t actively trying when I got pregnant with Ruby but by the same token I hadnt been using contraception of any kind for at least 3 years before that so I really have no idea how long it would take me to get pregnant again. I could do without the pressure.

I hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I haven’t replied to everyone. I find it difficult to keep up 😳

The witch finally showed up this morning! Actually happy to see her as was worried, and can try again for this cycle again now

Sorry your mum didn't think before she spoke @AliceRR try not to feel under pressure from her and do what's right for you.

Good luck for your new cycle @ale2992 I hope this one behaves itself.

Sorry - I'm so rubbish at keeping up with this thread. I have a question.

Had the op on 8th March. Bled for 15 days. Since then, bit of spotting on and off. Period, or what I thought was my period started 1st Apr, bleeding stopped Friday.

Today I've started bleeding again. I'm worried this means maybe it wasn't my period and it is linked to some of the pregnancy being retained?! But I've had a negative pregnancy test.

Thoughts?

@sophied1983 cycles can be totally random for a few months after MC/D&C etc so it may just be that but I would recommend contacting the EPU and they may do a scan to check and/ or put your mind at ease.

@Bluebelltulip My mum has been very supportive since we lost Ruby but she also says things that are not helpful! The thing that has got me most is when she’s asked me twice whether my cousin is expecting (for no reason other than that she got married six months ago and is 35 like I am and she knows I met up with her) and I just didn’t want to hear that or think about it. If she is fine but I don’t really want to discuss that especially when no one has any reason to think she is 🤷🏻‍♀️ I didn’t say anything but if she mentions it a third time then I will

I had a blazing row with my mum on Sunday over the way she has handled this miscarriage. I'm so upset about it. Sucks when family disappoint you doesn't it?!

We purposely haven't told our mums that were trying as they will constantly ask how it's going! When we fell pregnant/had MC we only told a few close friends who are either trying themselves or had MC as they pain were going through x

@AliceRR I think sometimes mums want to put the conversation out there because "you've got to talk about it some day" as my mum told me. And when they haven't gone through it, it's a difficult connection to make.

My mum and my DH don't really get it - because it was an early MC. I understand where they are coming from, I'm a practical person, for me it will be the milestones and the missed due dates that cut me deepest.

But for you and Ruby things were very different and a million times harder and I think it is worth having that conversation with your mum so she knows how she is making you feel.

Hi everyone.. have had the worst weekend. My world just feels upside down. Started bleeding on Friday, miscarried on Saturday. I was 7weeks and 2. I miss being pregnant. I miss everything about it and just want to move past this horrible, hurting part.

How long did everyone wait before starting TTC? I think I want to start soon after the bleeding stops. I need to feel hope again x

And reading that back - that's not minimising anyone else's early MCs at all. Everyone copes very differently and on a practical level that mindset is how I'm getting through shit day to day. Hope I've not offended anyone xx

@Newbie21 I'm hoping it will help regulate my cycles a bit as mine are all over the shop. But first I think she's trying to get me over the fear of the needles and also the trauma of losing bean and bow. She said the one she did on me yesterday was one designed for ptsd 

@Lilimum6 hugs. You're not the only old timer lovely and I totally get the Meghan thing. I'm really pleased for them but it's a constant reminder for me of where I should be in my pregnancy. Bow was due 25th April xxx

@Frillyfarmer Sounds lovely. I wish I could escape and feel like me again. Feels like I've been utterly consumed by the desperate need to be a mom.

@AliceRR I think I will go again...just in case it might help. I'm getting desperate to be honest, so even though I'm not keen I'll try it in case. Reflexology on the other hand is lovely. I really enjoy it (and normally have a prob with having my feet touched) so yes definitely recommend. My reflexologist is a specialist in fertility so I'd recommend looking for someone who has an interest in that area.

Got my progesterone test result back - 29.4 and "equivocal for ovulation" which apparently is borderline to prove whether I did ovulate or not - got my private consult tomorrow so will ask the dr then. I think it's high enough to suggest I have ov'd but not sure.

Getting nervous about tomorrow...have a list of things to ask...but only got 30 mins. Arghh

Hi @FirstTimeMama91 sorry you find yourself here. Did you have your MC confirmed by scan?

You need to have a negative pregnancy test before you start TTC again, to ensure everything is out. I had retained products so MC 17th Jan at 7wks and didn't get a BFN until 3rd March - it just depends how quickly your MC completes - I hope it's sooner than later and I hope hope hope you get your BFP soon x