Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...2!

[Hobbes39]

New thread as last one filling up - will try to link to this in old one...!

Shiney- congratulations! Great to hear an update. Your name sounded familiar. Enjoy your new baby!
Russkispy- so happy everything is progressing for you. I'm about a week behind you and equally nervous. You must be thrilled!

Hellenback- not too sure what to say. I really think anything could happen until your periods actually stop, but I understand the feeling of being totally fed up with it all. It's such a stressful experience.

Fantastic news @Russkispy 💕💕welcome @MrsAmelia could have been to early to test, so sorry for your losses... you are in the right place for baby dust and positivity xx
@hellenbackagen you are still having cycles... not over till af has gone for at least a year... sending lots of love x

I'm 5+5 today and now my anxiety has gone through the roof. I am constantly googling and conscious of every twinge. Not got my booking appt until early May so no support there. I have few symptoms so that is offering me no reassurance either. What can I do? At this rate I'll lose the baby due to stress

Hello ladies, I thought I'd pop into this thread as I'm 40 in a couple of months. Recap Mmc then CP straight after. Now I'm having a WTF cycle with failed ovulations and temps flatlining at CD30. It's affected my mental heath so much seeing my temp go down I've stopped using my Ovusense for this cycle.

My GP isn't being very supportive. Despite a history of pcos she's said no to doing hormone tests as we fell pregnant first try and then again with the chemical. This cycle however seems typical of pcos and being nearly 40 surely warrants a hormone screen!?. My miscarriage scan showed no cysts but I've since learnt pregnancy can resolve them. GP had agreed to a SA on DH and we have that next week.

I'm hoping to get more involved with this thread as you all seem lovely! Xx

@pitterpatterbaby I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. I'd feel the same. Would your doctor do hcg blood tests or an early reassurance scan? All the waiting involved is not helping. Xx

Oh I don't know @Catconfusion the way I feel a scan would probably help in the moment but then I'd be worried again. What if the heart stopped after the scan etc. I know how my brain works 😩

Oh and I forgot to add @Catconfusion I had a chemical in Feb followed by a normal cycle followed by a wtf cycle (loving your terminology there) of 17 days...then BFP. I'm 40 xx

Thanks @pitterpatterbaby I do wonder if initially the body kicks into baby making mode after a loss and then the hormones catch-up in the following cycle.

This cycle is literally evil. I was constantly crying during the first half of the cycle and now I can't ovulate. I'm feeling better today and forcing myself to get on as that's no way to live.

Thank you for sharing about your last few cycles. It's so hard after a loss to try and then ultimately to deal with pregnancy.

I think I would have a reassurance scan but as you say even then the worry is there. I guess statistically you're far less likely to lose if you see a heartbeat. However after my missed miscarriage I don't really trust statistics.

All you can do ultimately is live in the moment. Today you are healthily pregnant. It's great news and you deserve to enjoy thoughts of a happy outcome. Xx

Sorry lost this thread for a while, so I have a bit of catching up to do!

Congratulations Russkispy wonderful news!

I have been using Clearblue ovulation monitor and temping this month.

Got a peak this morning, which is good as I was beginning to wonder whether I would as it was later than expected. However we haven't managed to successfully dtd in the few days before so I am worried we will be too late. Going to try to jump DH this evening but he was grumbling about a sore throat this morning so I have a nasty feeling by this evening he won't be feeling well.

If I got a peak this morning I need to dtd today and tomorrow right?

Planning to try and have a couple of months using the ovulation tests to try and get the timing right and then if we still haven't got a bfp see the doctor. We have been trying for 6 months now but some of those months weren't very successful in terms of dtd successfully at the right time.

What can I expect from the GP if I see them at this stage?

Oh crap, what happened to my paragraphs? It looked fine when I typed it!

Hello all

I'd love to join your thread if I may! Been lurking a while and have similarities to some of your stories...
I'm 40, ttc for 6 months and had an early miscarriage in January. I have VERY irregular cycles (like, 35-47 days long!). Am currently on day 48 of my cycle (which is unprecedented) and had some right ovary pain... so think there maybe a cyst (defo not pregnant). Possibly linked to a PCOS diagnosis I had a couple of years ago... sigh.
Doctors have also said tests were "normal" and due to having a miscarriage I am considered fertile so no need to investigate... currently considering going privately for IVF.

I'm taking all the supplements etc and wanted to say thanks for sharing all your tips so far.

Would love to share with you a positive story about a friend of mine - she conceived aged 44 after 8 years struggling (during which 2 miscarriages and 2 failed IVF cycles). She said she had completely given up, then it happened!

@NicLondon1 - thanks for posting the story about your friend. I'm 43 and need hope that if this doesn't work out I might get another try.

@pitterpatterbaby I feel the same as you. I'm 6 weeks preg but feeling so negative today after my boobs suddenly stopped hurting this morning. It's making me more inclined to get a 7 week scan but ultimately like you I won't really be happy until I have my Harminy scan and test results at 10- 11 weeks. I keep thinking how lucky those younger women are who just go around announcing pregnancies at 5 or 6 weeks knowing their chances of it working out are overwhelmingly good. I've only had one MMC but it makes me feel doomed to have another. It's so stressful. I tried to think of any positives that would come out of this not working out, but can't think of any except stupid superficial things that don't matter.

@PetraRabbit thank you. Let's keep everything crossed for us both then XX

My cycles appear to have changed to 30 days since our loss in Jan. Honestly, I'm greatful they are still regular 😂.

So here I am cd1. Desperately wanting to fall pg but cacking myself in case we have to endure anymore heart break. It seemed so straight forward with dd only a few years ago. sigh

So ladies I’m panicking. I’m now what is either a week late for my period due to being pregnant or heading into full menopause. I was sure I ovulated 3 weeks approx ago and was fully expecting a bleed a week ago (although I never do opks - just go off bodily signs). No signs of AF at all. So I’m either pregnant (unlikely) or according to Dr Google, in late peri menopause. I got a bfn a week ago but am too scared to do another test!! I COULD have got my ovulation dates wrong I guess and am due AF any day though too.... sigh deep sigh.

I’m Day 84 of my cycle!

Mimosa - you should test again, you never know!

As for me, I think my clomid has been wasted. Think I may be ovulating today (peak 2 days ago but getting ov pains today) and dh couldn't 'perform' last night. Last successful dtd was Monday, so think we've missed the boat. Bugger.

I'm done ladies. At 47 I've not had a
Peak with opk the last 2 months.

I'm making peace with no more babies. Sad that my last pg at 44 wasn't viable but I'm giving up now on the supplements and clutching at straws.

My mil has cancer for third time and looks like my time is going to be spent there. She'd have loved grandkids so it's very sad. It looms terminal this time. Our time has gone .
Good luck all but I'm bowing out. 💐

So sorry hell, I stopped, I think 6 moths ago now. I'm 43 next month and for me personally it was time to call it a day. It does get easier but I do have the odd wobble now and again...
take care x

@hellenbackagen ... my heart aches for you. That is a lot on one plate at one time. I wish (& pray) you find strength and peace within yourself and find time to enjoy the wonderful partner you have and make the most of it all.

@catconfusion - seriously laughed out loud at your “WTF cycle” ...🤣😂 I needed a good laugh today too.

@Pitterpatterbaby - I’m keeping my toes, eyes & fingers crossed for you and that little blessing inside you.

@PetraRabbit - also keeping all of my toes, fingers & eyes crossed for you and your little blessing.

For what it’s worth (just my 2 cents) ... for any of you who have recently had (or may sadly have in the future) a MC or MMC ... I’ve had three of different types and I can honestly say that even despite being mega confused and very very sad, I decided to DTD as soon as I was allowed (4-6 weeks after my D&Cs) and fell pregnant each time within 1-2 cycles of the D&C procedures. Only one time did the immediate subsequent pregnancy end up in another MC right after (technically a blighted ovum). The other two pregnancies after miscarriage ended with happy live births. So, from my own experience ... use the small window after an MC (or D&C procedure) to DTD as much as possible because the body is incredibly fertile for the following 3-6 months. It’s psychologically tough without doubt, but if it allows you to feel emotionally closer to your partner and gains you the little person you so desperately want then maybe it’s worth it just pushing through the dark clouds of sadness at that time.

I just wanted to give a real story that began with sadness but ended with positivity.

I am ending CD32 and still no AF but today had mega cramps, back ache, nausea and loss of appetite. I’ve been yo-yo-ing with a cycle of 24-28 days since Jan 2018. I POS twice (Mon & Thur) and both negative. I don’t want to tell my husband because I’m afraid of his reaction. Convincing him to go down this road a third time took a long time. He was very emotionally impacted by our miscarriages and saw my emotional struggles too. I also had very tough end of third trimester with pre-eclampsia during both pregnancies. So, he’s perfectly content to have two babies and stop. Now this and I’m not sure if I should just get a blood test or wait another week before testing and never tell him until I actually conceive (IF I ever do). Clearly I ovulated late but can’t figure anything else out. Maybe just a change in cycle and it decided not to show up this month (wtf??) ... 🙄🙈

This Sh1t sucks ...
hope you all have great nights and sorry for the monologue ...

@hellenbackagen..so sorry to read about your mil. Like @weasledee I also gave up months ago but just hung around to be supportive to others and give hope that you can conceive over 40. Obv leaving it longer has risks and I'm too scared now at 47 to keep trying and hoping for no.2 So I wish you all hanging on in there lots of luck and baby dust. It's been a long ride but I'm all done. Thank you for being there when i needed support. Farewell ladies xx

Bye booseysmum, wishing you all the best and anytime you feel sad, look at your lovely DD and get a cuddle x

Booseys - as much as I want to say ‘don’t go, we’ll miss you so much’ I don’t want to be selfish and beg you to stay. I can so understand all your feelings as although I’m younger than you, I’m getting to the same place as with one ovary I’m losing my last few eggs now. Although I’m not just quite 100% able to say I’m giving it up yet, I’m already grieving my fertility and what could have been. I wish you lots of love and happiness in your life with your DH and DS xx

Hellen - I’m so sorry to hear about your mil. What a lot you’ve got to deal with. I too hope that you can find peace within you to move on with your life. I feel your pain, I really do. Love and hugs xx

Cleo - I’m sorry you feel the clomid was wasted but Monday was a good day to dtd if you ovulated today. Better to have the swimmers up in the tubes waiting. How did you feel on it? Any side effects?
I may test tomorrow (not got any in the house) but honestly if it was positive I’d be in the biggest shock of my entire life. I just feel that I must be coming to the end of my fertility now. My cycles are so long and strange now. Apparently cycles over 60 days indicate LATE peri menopause!! I’m also passed believing it could happen now:(