Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...2!

[Hobbes39]

New thread as last one filling up - will try to link to this in old one...!

Thanks Cleo and Booseys. Am so down I’m tearful all the time. Somethings not right. Hot flashes back and very depressed. Deep down I know it’s over for me baby wise. My cycles have been too weird for too long and now menopause symptoms are getting more and more frequent. My main worry though, other than getting over wanting a baby, is my health and state of mind. I’m not prone to depression but can feel a cloud descending.

Hobbes - thanks for the new thread.

Feeling really disheartened today. I've been doing tests every morning to see if the line gets darker, and it's a lot lighter today than yesterday. Fearing the worst.

@Cleozeta your clinic sounds dreadful... poor you I don't understand why healthcare professionals have to be so unprofessional
@hellenbackagen we try to aim for every other day from straight after af end to after ov... which some months we do, some months not so.., this month could be hit and miss.
Sending big hugs @littlemimosa can you try some alternative therapies to help your wellbeing .. yoga or swimming or maybe some counselling? Sending lots of love ladies xxx

@Cleozetta kind of. You pay access for a cycle plan so you would be eligible for the multicycle at 42. Price is dependant on whichever clinic you use and the price goes up every January. So we went to an open evening in November. We got a consultation for half price by going so £150. This included AMH and sperm test and a plan. We then paid Access the money for the multicycle we paid before the 21st December as the price was due to rise in jan. I then paid clinic direct for my scratch and for the drugs. So far I’ve paid the clinic around 2k. The drugs are expensive! You can get them cheaper in boots and Asda but the problem I found was that you only had so much to last to each scan and they don’t stock all of them so getting a prescription and collecting drugs in time for next injection seemed a nightmare. My cycle got cancelled but access covered the cost of the first cancelled cycle and I didnt lose a cycle so I still have two ECs left. The cycle plan covers everything up to egg collection and transfer including freezing and storage etc. Even though it’s a non refundable one if you don’t get to egg collection then you can withdraw from the plan. You pay £150 to withdraw and the clinic take a bit for scans to a max of £450 and the rest is refunded. Hence if I get pregnant on this one then we ge my most of our money back. All good if you have about 10k to spare 🙄 I have only managed to do it as my dad passed away in 2017 and left me a bit of cash so we are using that!

That access thing sounds good reality. I guess this is something the doctor should have told me about? My fertility check was half price too, so I paid £400 for full fertility check with hycosy. They didn't do the hycosy so I got £200 refunded (they really don't want my money!) But I would have thought a plan should have been included in my consultation? I'm going to call them again to day to rant and rave.

Mimosa - gutted for you that this cycle is not going well. I know that feeling of doom when it feels like your fertility is falling off. I too was concerned for my physical and mental health. Hormones have a lot to answer for. Are you still doing TCM? Did you say you had a doctor appointment booked?

Onlyinanemergency - I know that sickening feeling only too well. Hopefully in your case your wee may have been too diluted or its just a random fluctuation.

Hi ladies, I'm still here reading all your updates...
So we haven't tried for 4 months now and I'm not going to say it's been easy! Have wobbles around ovulation and wonder if I'm making a mistake?! Trying to concentrate on the DC I know I'm so lucky to have.....
good luck to everyone :)

Hey Weasle - good to hear from you. I need to do what you're doing but it's so hard isn't it. I feel so lucky to have my two DC but it doesn't stop the longing and it also just makes me feel guilty because I feel that they 'should' be 'enough' so then i feel bad towards them:( In my case it will be nature that forces me to stop though. I just know now that I'm heading towards the end. DH is happy to continue with contraceptive free sex for as long as i want so we will but i'm all out of hope.

Chat - I'm the queen of alternative therapies! Yoga, reflexology, acupuncture with TCM I do it all. I think i will get to a counsellor though, got a lot of issues to work through with all of this.

Cleo - yes got a GP appt booked so i'll see what they say. I'm so reluctant to try soy or even Clomid as both basically lower your oestrogen levels for a few days with a view to your body responding to that temporary low by sending out loads of LH to release an egg. Well i'm already rock bottom with oestrogen. I'm going to ask for micronized progesterone maybe as Lara Briden says it's really helpful for perimenopause (both for people with oestrogen dominance and oestrogen insufficiency -me!) as it balances everything out. I always have a good LP but i bet i could do with a boost to balance my hormones. My main worry is that this is it, that my body is just doing what nature intends but i feel TOO young to be having a dry vag and hot flashes!

Only - I'm so sorry you're getting lighter lines. Are you booked for blood tests or a scan?

I think it might have been a dodgy test this morning. When I used it the window flooded with pink dye. Then it took an age to show anything in either window. After 5 mins there was a faint line in control window and fainter line in the other one, much fainter than yesterday's. but actually, once the test was dry, the line IS darker than yesterday's. I think I have to just ignore this one altogether. I'm overly paranoid today because I started testing too early and my period is due today or tomorrow.

Hi all,

I'm back to the hospital in a short while. The scan last week showed the baby has been growing (was just a few days under dates) but the heartbeat was very weak and there was no movement. Completely the opposite of the 10 week scan we had, how things can go so quickly from joy to despair.

We are booked back in today to have another scan and see the fetal specialist, however I think the staff thought that maybe the baby will not have made it to today as I was given all the relevant numbers for if I started to miscarry in the meantime.

It's five years to the day that I was in hospital with my ectopic, not a lucky time of year for me it seems.

Cleozeta so sorry you've had such a bad experience at the clinic. It makes me so angry that they can charge so much money for basically just wasting your time. I hope that if you see another Dr they have the knowledge and experience to come up with a good plan for you.

Belated Happy Birthday to you and Booseysmum

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Onlyinanemergency as Cleo says it could be a false alarm.

Huge congratulations Russkispy, such great news for you, hope your HCG results all come back well.

Mimosa that feeling of the cloud descending is not a nice one, as Chatbash has suggested maybe some alternative therapies might help and spending some time being nice to yourself. Seeing friends, maybe a night away doing something you enjoy? When I had PND after my DS I 'ran away' with my DS to stay with my best friend in South Africa (a bit extreme I know!!), it was the best 6 days I had had in months and made me determined to try to get back to my old self again.

Sorry if I've missed replying to anyone's news, not great with the focus atm.

Thanks Sparrow. Good luck to you, this is such a difficult time. I hope you've got a lot of support around you.

Sparrow - good luck today, I hope it all turns out ok

I really hope everything’s ok SparrowSG. Crossing fingers baby’s moving more etc when they rescan

Good luck SparrowSG. I hope it turns out ok and the baby is fine.

Thank you for the new thread.
I am still in the 2WW. I am 13DPO and AF would be coming on Thursday according to my app FLO.
I have tested twice on Friday and Saturday, waste of tests really! I have not tested since and I am hoping to test again on Friday if no AF.

I have no AF symptoms I think. Only insomnia and tingly nipples. No idea what this means, I am trying not to read too much into anything and not to even think about it.
I am 43 and will be 44 in September. I have a 10y.o. with my ex and I am trying to have a baby with my current partner. He has a little boy with his ex, but it would be amazing to have one together.

Hugs to all of you.

Hi all - haven't read all the messages, but just saw @SparrowSG - I'm thinking of you and really hoping that all is ok today - good luck 🤞xx

Thoughts will you Sparrow

With not will.

@SparrowSG I’m so sorry you are going through this, I am keeping everything crossed for you.

@Littlemimosa I know that cloud feeling only too well, most days I feel like I’m on the edge of a dark hole and I am desperately trying not to fall in. For me it’s all to do with this baby thing, I’m also not sure how to ever get past it. I find I am much better during school holidays with my DC at home with me. I tried counselling last summer before we started ttc, but it didn’t help me, I wanted a baby and she was very nice, but she couldn’t help me get one of those. Sending you hugs x

AF is here 😞...my ovulation was on the 6th Feb. Today is the 13/14 day after. Is my luteal phase long enough? Hopefully.
Onto to the next cycle!

@SparrowSg am thinking of you x

Just checking in after quite a while.

Sorry to those of you going through anxious times. Us women do really get the hard side of the deal.

Mimosa, what age did your Mum go through menopause? It does seem really early. I hope it’s just a blip.

I’m so sorry so many are going through difficulties at the moment and am sending as much baby dust and positive vibes as I can.

Had my NIPT results today. All low risk and I’m expecting a boy :).

@SparrowSG.. thank you for the birthday msg . Thinking of you today x

@Karigan195.. that's fantastic news! Congratulations! x

Thinking of you @Sparrow. Hoping you're OK.

Congratulations @Karigan.

@Karigan195 congratulations that’s great news.

Sending lots of love @SparrowSG
Congrats @Karigan195
Sending lots of love ladies