Hello all,
Thanks for the welcome! This is a really nice supportive thread.
So, I’ve had a tumultuous week. I was going to have IVF and now I’m not.
As I wrote about on my other thread, I was offered NHS-funded IVF, but only if I requested an urgent referral immediately so it could be completed before my 42nd birthday at the start of June. The consultant said he didn’t think it would help because my problem was with poor egg quality, but he would refer me if I asked for it; it was my call.
In the end I did ask for the referral. I did this even though there were various personal circumstances that would make trying to do it before June particularly brutal and stressful. I didn’t go into these on the other thread, because I wanted to make the decision based on long-term odds not on short-term suffering. And I made the decision to do it anyway, even against medical advice and knowing the timing was terrible, because I wanted to give myself that little bit of an extra chance. It was a very hard decision and I agonised over it.
That was on Friday. On Tuesday the consultant phoned me and said sorry, he had made a mistake. I am not eligible for NHS funding. The reason being, I have had 2 recent miscarriages and am therefore not classed as medically infertile.
What??!!!
My head is spinning.
I'm not even sure even why I made this decision that then turned out to be pointless. It was very unlike me to want an invasive medical procedure and to go against medical advice to get it, but I was willing to do it. I am surprised at myself.
Anyway, I know many of you have been through worse than this and you all have my admiration.
I am going on holiday next week, so my plan now is to try to de-stress and relax as much as possible and hope that nature will take its course (in a more positive way)!
Various
@Cleozeta - I am reassured by what you said about fertility specialists jumping to the conclusion that bad eggs are the cause of everything that goes wrong!
@FraterculaArctica how are you doing?
@Catconfusion: you asked some way back if GPs had been supportive about trying to conceive over 40. My experience would be YES. I was nervous to go to the GP and afraid I would be lectured because of my age, but she has been very understanding. At no point have I felt badly treated because of my age (except for this recent IVF funding debacle, which is another kettle of fish!)
The only caveat would be that the NHS doesn’t generally do investigative tests unless you have been trying for a year or more. I went to a private clinic that also has NHS patients, and paid for a fertility work-up including a panel of hormonal tests that the clinic then requested my GP to run. I don’t think I would have been able to get all this without the private self-referral kicking things off.
So yes to emotional support from the NHS, but consider getting initial self-funded fertility testing at a shared private/ NHS clinic early on to speed the investigative process up and not waste any time. That has been my experience anyway, hope it helps.