TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

Oh @strawberrye it does sound like she just wasn't considering you as a whole (ie your mental health too). They forget I think that their patients are people with feelings and fears, not just medical problems to solve. How about trying again on the progesterone front with your gp? If they won't prescribe it maybe ask them to do a couple of tests to check your levels so at least you have more info? Genetic testing can be done privately but it isn't cheap - karyotyping is £375 per person according to one quote I got and obv you both need to be tested! You can get tested for the mthfr gene mutation (the one that can effect folic acid absorption) that was about £130 I think. Huge hugs.

@Lilimum6 you can get this one through medichecks www.medichecks.com/vitamin-d-tests/vitamin-d-25-oh. Or I found this one too betteryou.com/vitamin-d-testing-service
Sorry can't advise on temps! I have decided not too as I'm crazy enough with the opks!

@fnej01 Congratulations on your wedding lovely! Have a fab day!

@Catconfusion Sorry for your losses-very similar age/situation to me. We'll both be 40 this year and TTC #1. I've had two losses. As for trying again, it really is personal preference. I am so desperate to be pregnant again I wanted to try immediately as did my fella, although that did increase my frustration when my body didn't play ball (first period took an age after second loss, first loss was a nightmare and took forever). In terms of tests, thyroid, diabetes, full blood count, clotting if they'll do it, vitamin d, coeliac antibodies...there's also tests for sticky blood (anti cardiolipin and lupus anticoagulant) and thrombophilia issues but GP won't usually do those.

Hugs @Dimblebimble I'd contact epau. It's so common to get it and most of the time it's not bad news. Sadly wasn't my experience but I know plenty of people who had brown and red spotting and went on to have healthy beans. Keeping everything crossed for you xxx

@laney yes the problem is I'm a lecturer and I have a 3 hour lecturer that I need to deliver tomorrow (and prepare today). Last time I went to epu I had to wait over 3 hours to be seen, and I just can't afford to do it today 🙁 we also can't self refer so I'd have to somehow get referred by a GP but the only way to get an appointment is to book a month in advance or queue up at 7.30 on the day.

Thanks @Clumsykitten. I hadn’t seen that leaflet so really useful. I think considering our age it will be as soon as my body has recovered. We have a very strong relationship and both really want our family so nothing to sort out between us.

It is however heartbreaking. The nurse at the EPU said wait until we feel if it did happen again we could deal with it.

I’m so sorry @lainey79 you had two losses and your body took so long to sort it out. I don’t know about you but turning 40 feels like a time bomb when trying to get pregnant. I know many people conceive in their 40s but it’s so cruel we have to go through loss to get there. Thanks also for the list of tests. My GP is super and I’m hoping she’ll do most of them. Do you have to weight for hormone levels to stabilise before testing?

I stopped bleeding the day of ERPC which was Monday so I’m really hoping my body is quick at sorting itself out!

I used Ovusense in the run up to our honeymoon and it was great at showing ovulation and so easy to use. Has anyone else tried it? I might start tonight out of interest and see what my hormones are doing.

I got a callback from the doctor who just told me not to worry and come in if the bleeding intensified. Didn't even ask what colour the bleeding was 🤨 seems to have stopped for now though. 🤞

Oh goodness have you all seen the data breach thread?

@Catconfusion totally agree on the time bomb. It feels less like a clock more like damn Big Ben! I never understood the idea of a biological clock until I fell pregnant this time last year, and now I am a text book example of it. In terms of tests, my dr said to wait until a negative pregnancy test but otherwise unless you have any hormone tests I think it's ok just to get them done. Sure your gp will advise. I don't use ovusense, have been using Clearblue connected and internet cheapy opks, alongside period tracker app. Hope your body is quick to heal for you.

@Dimblebimble glad the dr called you back. Fingers crossed it was nothing and stats away.

@InDreamland data breach is a bit worrying!

@Catconfusion so sorry for your loss. It's such an awful experience. I'm similar to you and @Laney79 but 1 year behind. I'm 39 next month and stil TTC #1 after 2 losses last year. I do feel like time is running out fast so DH and I have this week gone private for tests but also seeing NHS gynae consultant. Almost same tests others here have mentioned and all those supplements to try support healthier eggs. DH just started taking Proxeed too for his sperm. I hope you get your rainbow this year.

@Dimblebimble really hope little bean is just getting more comfortable in there and you don't have any more bleeding. Hopefully you can get seen for reassurance.

I wrote a super long hello again and loads of comments back to folk last week but got 'toddlered' before i sent it then left it so long my draft message was deleted :( so I wrote this in my notes App!

I have been keeping up mostly, just not replying!

@Lilimum6 thanks for the check in! I’m not so good but will catch up and then launch in with my latest saga! Totally hear you on bringing down expectations of RMC, in my head I was literally thinking magic wands and stuff (well, not quite, but you know 🤣) on your chart, mine had a high spike early this cycle and turned out i was about to get sick but didn’t yet feel rotten. BBT - more than just babymaking!! How are you today?

@rdm10 ugh and I thought my waiting times were terrible! My GP agreed to refer me after MC2 as well but it was only after MC3 that she told me they had refused and noted that the new pregnancy was on my file any way. Have you called the consultant? My appointment is not until April but I left a message to see if I could be told any results or updates and she called me back the next day! It was heartbreaking hearing the news that my baby had a genetic abnormality over the phone but it was beneficial to have the knowledge. Conversely her phoning with the partial molar news sent me in to tailspin. Her ‘bedside’ manner doesn’t seem to be great so it was really hard to take in over the phone. Another idea is to call the EPU- I phoned them the day after the molar news and had a brilliant nurse explain it all to me. Point being, they had all my notes on screen including lab results and were able to talk me through in a way that a very scared lay person could comprehend.

@Laney79 would you mind DM your list from Coventry? I was thinking of asking Lesley Regan for one as it doesn’t look likely she will accept me because I’m in Scotland. I’ll reciprocate if she does of course. interesting on the vitD - I forgot to ask that on my latest set of bloods from GP but have been intending to get a spray supplement any way.on my shopping list!!

@strawberrye sorry your RMC appointmet wasn’t what you’d hoped. Fingers crossed for you that the thyroid meds make a big difference. In my last pregnancy I was using this - www.beleafinnature.co.uk/product/emerita-pro-gest-cream-4oz/ I never had my levels tested but at least for for a bit of ‘im doing something’ it was good. Ask me more if you’re interested.

@frillyfarmer... I hope you get happy answers soon. There’s a lot of waiting in this game but your situation is particularly cruel. Hugs!

@fnej01 - WOW! happy wedding day :) how was it? I hope you had the time of your lives and ride on a wave of love in to healthy pregnancy right away ❤️

@Clumsykitten that’s awful about carrying a heavy bag! Despite the difficulties we are all having and the intense anxiety, I do truly believe it’s actually really hard to ‘dislodge’ a healthy pregnancy. In my care free first pregnancy (now 2yo!) i ran a half marathon! Felt gross and it was slow (for me at the time) but I did it then!

@Dimblebimble - good look with your lecture today! 3 hours, that’s immense! Will you talk the whole time?

@Laney79 I just purchased the betteryou test! Thanks for the heads up :) can you share where you for the mthfr one privately? Thanks x

@awakeatnight sure, I'll send you the list they sent me. In terms of MTHFR -the quote I had was via the Nuffield, they didn't list it on the site so I emailed them. I'm not sure if I'll get tested yet. Concentrating on the thrombophilia for now. Details here - www.nuffieldhealth.com/pathology-direct

Good luck with the vitamin d. I was lucky, my GP tested me but idve gone for one of the private ones if not. GP did say that it can take 3-4 months for levels to increase if you start taking a higher dose supplement so I'm trying to hold off getting another test for another six weeks or so. X

Hi ladies,
Just dropping in to mark my place. (Thank you @Lilimum6 for asking after me, I'm doing ok.)

Age: 31
TTC no.1 since December 2017.
1 MMC and 3 other confirmed early MCs and another possible (very likely) one which I never tested for. I'm counting my losses as 5.

Under RMC at the moment and not TTC right now.
Endocrinology appointment next month as have significantly high levels of prolactin, but that is all I know for now.

Currently CD7 (not that it matters); but have found that acupuncture has had a massive impact on regulating my cycle and ovulating 2 days earlier than I had been. Having 28 day cycles every month at the moment and I think ovulating around day 14. (They varied from 28-34ish and ovulating day 16-20ish before) So just saying, if you're curious about acupuncture, it's worth a bash.
And also, don't be scared to take a break from TTC. I didn't want to before I had my break, for reasons I'm sure you all understand and I don't need to explain. But the break has actually been very relaxing and I'm not feeling impatient or obsessive or as wound up and upset as I was.

Probably not going to be TTC until May/June at the earliest now.

Does anyone have any news of @hayleyfx? She was on my mind. And also @Jessabean

@lainey79 I would thoroughly recommend ovusense. I had polycystic ovaries so slightly longer cycles making it difficult to use okps. Ovusense does all the hard work for you. You just pop it in over night and link it up to your mobile.

One silver lining of my miscarriage is my ovaries showed no longer polycystic on my scan so I’m cured somehow. Maybe hence falling pregnant so easily. I do however worry about my periods as they only last 24 hours at most. They come every 4-6 weeks but very short. I worry I have low progesterone. Surely enough lining though to implant as baby got to 6 weeks.

Thanks @indreamland. I’m sorry for your losses too. My husband and I are both taking Conceive plus www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0734SDKV5/ref=mp_s_a_1_4_a_it?ref=plSrch&keywords=conceive+plus&dpPl=1&dpID=51ziDZrNf7L&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1549617849&sr=8-4 They seem to be a good mix of everything though we might try Q10 as well just in case our situation is age related. It’s crazy since we only got together a year ago and got married a few months back. We’re basically like a couple of teenagers so odd to be thinking our miscarriage could be due to age but I guess we can’t rule it out.

Thanks everyone for including me and your kind words. I’m sorry we’re all in this situation but good to support each other. I’ll do my best but very new to pregnancy loss and trying again.

@KnitKitty no ive not heard from either lady in a while hope they are OK.
Nice to hear from you and that your doing OK. And great news about your cycles might be that your not as stressed along with acupuncture.

@awakeatnight hi hun nice to see you hear x
@Laney79 could I have that list too hun x ill be more prepared if and when I get an appointment at rmc to ask for what I want

Ladies I take q10, vitamin d and do every trick and hand stand going. I don't want to discourage any of you. In my case I was doing everything, no alcohol, no caffeine etc for my last too losses it made no difference to me. I'm still taking them with the new addition of asprin this time. I think we can tweeck the odds and pray for the best. I'm starting to think along the lines of its just not ment to be for me. I'm now CD 11 and no ovulation and I have always ovulated cd10 even after mc. Maybe my time has started to run out and this time next year it will be gone completely. My sister who is 3 years younger than me is on the change and my mother started at 38. I'm currently 37 and I think I'm on borrowed time.

@Lilimum6 @awakeatnight the list should be with you both now xxx

Just had nhs on the phone, they are bricking it. They have apologised for their terrible service and have offered us an appointment to see the lead gynaecology consultant and he can explain what it happening and what happened on 29th too. She also said they are holding a meeting to discuss and reorganise there staffing on epas / gynaecology. They are also sharing my email with every epas unit countrywide. I'm going to use that appointment to ask for all the tests I want done. Result I think 1-0 to me

This was the email I sent to nhs

Thanks @Laney79 - not had chance to look yet but looking forwards to the read.

Well done @Lilimum6 you handled that with dignity, strength and care. Hopefully a good result for you and lots of women in the future.

@Lilimum6 well done on your email and response. Deffo one to you!

@Lilimum6 well done on your email. I would have felt the same way as you and hopefully positive outcomes come from it.

So I had a very positive OPK yesterday and sharp ovulation pain today so I guess I'll be in the TWW all over again. With all 3 of my pregnancies all 3 have been unsuccessful but we have caught first time with them all. Do you think 4th time is a lucky number? 🤷‍♀️

@awakeatnight I try to mix in discussions and activities. No one wants to listen to me talking for 3 hours!

I've had more of the same darker cm, I don't even know if it's spotting it's like clear with a very faint pinkish or brownish tinge (sorry tmi I know!). Not sure whether it's a sign of bleeding or just cm changing in pregnancy. I didn't notice anything like it last time.

Well done @lilimum6 for your email. It was highly inappropriate the situation they put you in. Complaining is so important. I’m currently writing a complaint about the midwife who wouldn’t refer me for a scan despite bleeding and cramps. She told me I’d be taking up the place of an emergency. Turns out we were that emergency and had to find out we’d had a mmc at a commercial clinic where couples get 3D scans. When we finally got to EPU they were horrified we weren’t sent straight there where they could counsel us.

The NHS must be sorry because I've now got an appointment with the consultant on 13th and a scan on 15th. Hope it goes well

@Lilimum6 amazing how they can fit you in when they want/need to. So glad it's going to get you somewhere x