TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

2 made it to blast stage. The third was developing to slowly and eventually stopped. 1 will be transferred shortly and the other will be biopsied and freeze. A bit rubbish news but still glad we've got one in the "bank"

Thinking of you today @AliceRR

Hi everyone so sorry I've not checked in lately. Been trying to keep a positive head whilst awaiting my results. I phoned last Tuesday and they said a letter had been sent out to me and was told it said my results were all normal and the chance of a successful pregnancy in the future was high. So anyway I took that as a positive and awaited the letter but a week letter I still haven't received it. I rung Monday to ask about it and also if the results included karyotyping for me and DH. The secretary said it didn't mention anything about karyotyping so had to check with the consultant and since then heard nothing and still no letter!! I don't understand if the results didn't include the karyotyping why they would send that letter saying all normal? It's not as if it says we are still awaiting karyotyping results, it mentions nothing. I know I'm just being paranoid but it's been 9 weeks now and just feels such a long time to wait. I feel like they just don't understand what we are going through and there's no rush to get back to us.

Hugs to everyone that's feeling down and sorry for the early morning rant

Crossing all for you @Russkispy!

@InDreamland I hope you have a lovely holiday and things get better with your DH.

Sorry things are taking so long @Pop1234. It seems a ridiculous wait!

Welcome @mitchellpj. I'm also in a similar boat to you and @moonpeace - my DD is 2.3, miscarriage last summer and an ectopic in February. And I'm 37 in September. I relate to the hopeless feeling and it's the complete lack of control I feel that scares me most. I hope this year brings good news for us all.

Thank you ladies! Both blasts are AB quality. Doc and embryologist are very happy, 1 was transferred and 1 biopsied and gone through PGS test and I'll get results next week. And it's already on "ice". Been giving lots of supplements to take to support implantation etc. Now onto 2ww 

Is it normal to have spotting week after a chemical pregnancy? Bleeding stopped last Thursday after starting last Monday, I don't normally have spotting between af.

@Russkispy fingers crossed you!!

Evening lovely ladies how are we all feeling today? I'm getting symptoms similar to when I got my BFP and I'm so confused on if I should trust them or not!

Based on my old cycle AF is due on Saturday but I don't know if I should assume it will be then or just assume it will come the following week! Any advice?

@Dimblebimble It sounds like you're doing the right things; making sure you're communicating to DH. Not feeling like forgiving him yet it understandable. Your emotions will be all over the place at the moment. Just give yourself time, things will slowly start to get better again. And of course you feel depressed; but it doesn't mean you have depression. Counselling is a good start. Don't hesitate to contact the miscarriage association or similar for some help/guidance. xx

@AliceRR Thinking of you. How was it today?

@Treaclepie19, @Raincart2017, @michellpj So sorry for your losses. Welcome to the huddle.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Having a friend like that can make all the difference; I'm glad you have someone who understands. xxx

@Pamblem00se I remember seeing you around a lot before. Good to get an update from you. You really did have a horrendous time for a while; I hope with all my might that your luck has changed now and nothing but good is going to fill your life from now on. Stay strong! You're incredible; I hope you know it. Tentative congratulations on the new pregnancy; I totally understand you not feeling excited about it yet though. xxx

@frillyfarmer the dates matching up is a difficult reminder. Hopefully the antibiotics are doing the job, make sure you get plenty of rest. xx

@Boboelephant excellent news that it's in the right place. Stay strong and positive. xxx

@Russkispy Best wishes for this IVF cycle. xxx

@Mistymeow I am so sorry hun. Huge hugs . How are you doing? I was so hopeful that this was it for you. xxx

@InDreamland Many happy returns. Rolls eyes at DH blunder Unbelievable! I hope you enjoy your trip and it perks you up. You deserve a nice break. xxx

@Pop1234 Sorry you're having such a frustrating time with the results. It's certainly a lesson in patience! I'm really frustrated too. Will get my results in two weeks... 16 weeks after my first appointment. Grrr!! You need to let them know the letter has never arrived; check they have the correct address and get them to send it again.

@Lilimum6 Thanks for asking after me. How are you doing?

I told my line manager about the miscarriages yesterday and she was really nice about it and we're finding out if I get paid time off for my hospital appointments now. (I don't think I will; but it's nice she wants to see if it's possible).
I'm CD10 at the moment and think I ovulated today (going by O pain) which is very early for me! Not sure what's going on there.
Had my acupuncture today and she was as lovely and supportive as ever and is the only person so far (apart from you ladies) who has understood my low mood following my endocrinology appointment. I always come away feeling so uplifted and supported after talking to her and being a pin cushion!
She has also suggested I try temping now that I have a job with regular hours. I want to find out if I'm having progesterone problems as implantation seems to be where everything goes wrong; however the endocrinologist seemed to think that because I ovulate my progesterone must be fine, which doesn't sound completely right; although I don't want to be Dr Google, I know she's the one with the medical degree. Maybe temping would give me some peace of mind at least. Do any of you temp? What do you use?

@KnitKitty thank you for your comment X I have done temp before but there is so many variantd to it that I never did it very accurately. I also did ovulation sticks at the same time to get better understanding of ovulation date. However as we have been trying for over a year we had a meeting with a fertility specialist if we have to go through the IVF route in the future and she said temping puts so much extra pressure on yourself that she told me to stop as all my tests where normal and blood tests and ovulation sticks show approx ovulation day so aging that on if pointless. I normally ovulatefor around cd14-15. She told us to DTD on on CD 10/12/14/16 which should be more than enough to cover it!

For implantation I have read that selenium (Brazil nuts) and something in pineapple help with this. I tried this In the tww before I got my BFP so am going to do this again this month.

Hope this helps

Thanks everyone thinking of me and asking after me.

Today went as well as it could have. The service was lovely, Ruby had a lovely spot in the cemetery and we had a lot of support from friends and family.

It was weird though, apart from a couple of times when I got teary and even anxious, mostly at the start, I was very calm and not very emotional. It was odd as even the poems and songs that usually make my very my eyes out didn’t. I don’t know what that was about. I do tend to hold it together and not cry in front of other people much, other than DH, so maybe it’s partly that but I felt a bit like a robot when at time’s people were crying around me and I wasn’t. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the little white box. It was all so strange. But I’m ok. I still feel a bit numb and exhausted tbh.

We’ll see how things go in the next few days. I think it seems more real that Ruby is not here but then it helps in a way to have somewhere to visit her. We may go and visit her tomorrow.

Thanks @Raincart and @moonpeace. I'm not TTC at the moment, and won't be until after April, so it seems like a good time to understand what my cycle is doing with temping without the pressure of it affecting anything or stressing me out. I've always steered away from too much tracking. I used O sticks for one month last year and it made no difference at all to conceiving, but it did give me a good understanding of when O happened. (Although I can usually tell as I very often get O pain). That's really interesting about Lacey Turner.

@AliceRR Well done for getting through the day. Feeling numb like that doesn't sound surprising at all. I'm glad you have somewhere to visit Ruby now. Grief comes in waves; just ride them as best you can. xxx

Thank you everyone for your kind words, it really helps.
@dimblebimble thank you, I understand completely how you feel. It was all looking so promising for us, but we will both get there.
@moonpeace thank you. Perhaps my GP will refer us as it's difficult to conceive, but I suspect he may say it's probably down to DH's sperm count (although we will never know). My worry is we will have our first IVF and it will fail because I have some undiagnosed blood clotting disorder.
@indreamland so sorry your dh did that. It's the sort of thing mine would do because he's a bit absent minded. I'm glad he finally apologised and you are getting your lovely meal, you deserve it.
@aliceRR really sorry to hear about Ruby. So glad you have a lovely spot for your precious girl to visit. Take care and rest up.
@knitkitty thank you. We let ourselves get carried away when we saw the heartbeat. Regarding temping, tbh I found it made me a bit obsessive/stressed which contributed to messed up cycles. But once I knew my coverline temp I just took my temps around the time of ovulation, and once I saw the shift I stopped.
@russkispy this all sounds very promising! Got everything crossed :)

I've not been too well. I started bleeding tuesday night, awoke at 4am with the worst pain of my life, but it just wasn't coming out. After a call to 111 they advised me to go to a&e who were amazing. Got seen straight away and put on morphine. A gynae doctor examined me and was concerned about the amount of blood around my cervix, so I was admitted and put on a drip. I actually kept my EPU scan appointment luckily which is on the same floor, so I had my scan where they said the sac was gone but there were a lot of clots. The consultant said it was best to have an ERPC and cancelled a patient so I could have an emergency one (thank you to that patient!). I had the op the same day. I have to say the care and speed in which I treated was incredible. I'm recovering at home now and looking to the future x

Just popping in quickly again to say @Mistymeow I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Im glad that you got excellent treatment but I am so sad this wasn't your rainbow. Sending you so many hugs xxxx

@Russkispy best of luck for your PUPO! Great to hear you had a top grade blast to transfer 🤞

@AliceRR well done for getting through the funeral. How strong you must be. 🌹 I hope laying Ruby to rest has given you a tiny bit of peace.

Hugs to everyone else.

@Boboelephant Congratulations!

@MistyMeow I am so, so sorry.

@Rysskispy Best of luck with the IVF.

I'm still keeping quiet as waiting for my next RMC appointment before trying again. Sorry I haven't replied to everyone individually - I'm not managing to keep up with the fast moving thread.

@Mistymeow in so sorry to hear this news X sending hugs x

@AliceRR sounds like you cooked amazingly. You are so strong. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Ruby has an incredible mom. Xxx

@Mistymeow you really have been through it lovely. Take care of yourself and take all the time you need to do whatever helps you get through this. Hugs.

Nice to hear from you @TinyPaws @Boboelephant

@KnitKitty I'm tempted to try temping but worried it'll add to my anxiousness around TTC. I'm bad enough with opks! I may try and find the Lacey turner interview on catch up-sounds interesting.

I'm 7dpo...trying not to let the crazy in. Testing Tuesday with a frer if I can hold on. Was hoping to get the rest of my private tests results today (was told the lab had got them but they haven't been transcribed into the reporting system 🙄) but nada so hoping tomorrow is the day.

Love to all x

Confused.com I can't decide if I should test this weekend as my AF is due if I treat the 1st day of my MC as CD1 or should I be patient and just wait until next week. Do you guys test each month?

@Mistymeow Huge hugs. I'm so sorry you had to go through that but I'm so thankful that you got good care. Do whatever you need to to get through this. Remember we're all here for you. xxx

@TinyPaws Lovely to see you drop by. I hope life doesn't seem to be dragging by too slowly during your wait for RMC. When is your next appointment?

@Laney79 I think that's wise. I don't want it to be a cause for stress either; but while I'm not TTC I think I can handle it without going loopy. I bought a thermometer off Amazon which should arrive next week. I might just use it for one cycle and see if it shows anything interesting and stop when I start TTC again.
I hope you do get your test results tomorrow. Let us know. Sit on those testing hands! Have you had any symptoms, or do you just test every month?

@Raincart Hmm. Tricky one. It really depends which will feel worse to you: doing a test and it be negative, or not test and go insane waiting for AF? I think waiting is usually a good idea, so long as you don't find it too difficult or start getting your hopes up too much that AF hasn't arrived yet... Your cycle could well be messed up after MC. When I was TTC last year I tested early a couple of times and drove myself mad with line eyes and wished I'd waited a few days.

@KnitKitty @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue so I have an update but not sure if it's good or bad. I finally got the letter through the post from RMC and it just literally said all your results were normal and chance of a successful pregnancy is high but didn't say exactly what tests and I didn't know if it included the karyotyping for DH and I. Anyway I've called again today after asking the question earlier on in the week and the secretary said the consultant has dictated another letter for me so now I'm terrified they have found some with our genetics. But surely if those results weren't included they wouldn't have put all tests were normal and they would have said we are still awaiting the karyotyping. They said it takes 5 days for the letter to be typed so I've just got to wait. Do you think it could just be a letter clarifying the tests I've had because I've questioned what the 'normal' results included? I've been thinking about it all day I'm honestly so worried and to make it worse I've got a long weekend off work and just feel like I'm going to spend the entire time worrying.

@Pop1234 I wouldn't worry hun. The administrative staff aren't allowed to tell you things on behalf of the Drs to avoid getting anything wrong. I'd bet money on it just being a break-down of which tests you've had/clarification of what everything being 'normal' means.

@KnitKitty thank you. Fingers crossed. I just feel so down tonight. I'm such a worrier anyway but I just feel the whole TTC process is making me even worse.

@Pop1234 I'd agree with @KnitKitty prob just a letter of explanation. I would though ask for a copy of the test results. I do with all of mine. Discovered that although my vitamin D level is within range for the general population (so came back normal) it's not at the level that recent research has suggested is optimal for conception/pregnancy. So I now take an extra supplement. But I wouldn't have known that without requesting a copy of my results.

@KnitKitty sounds like a good plan re: temping. I have a thermometer but trying to avoid it! Symptoms wise, I've deliberately been trying not to look for them. I'm only 7dpo so a bit early anyway. Tum has felt a bit off the past 24 hours. Very gassy and a bit crampy. I'll test anyway I think-but if I can leave it till 12dpo it'll be a deffo yeah or nay (my luteal phase is only 12/13 days)

@Laney79 thank you. I will definitely do that. I'm having my vit D retested in a couple of weeks after being on a supplement so fingers crossed it's increased.