TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

Thanks @Russkispy. A friend of mine also recommended a similar service. Good luck for EC! How are you today?

@Lilimum6 how are you today? Sorry you're still going through all this, it's truly so crap.

@boboelephant how are you? Hope little baby is still all comfy in there and all is going well.

@Kinsters nice to see you joining us here. Did you get to your Doctor today? So sorry this wasn't your rainbow x

Got my flashing smiley for this cycle this morning. Fx it goes static by Tuesday as we're away for fw.

Hey InDreamland I'm going to go tomorrow - I can't take time off for Dr's appointments and didn't want to go into the office looking a mess from crying all through the appointment. Fx for static smiley during your holiday! Fertile window during holidays is the best!

I hope the doc can support you @Kinsters. Request all the tests. Not sure how the health service works out there (despite my uncle being a GP).

Hi all. Sorry I haven't been in touch for a few days. Was feeling a bit stronger but had a wobble when I saw another mum at DD's nursery, obviously pregnant with no2. Son is the same age as DD.

Had an appointment with the Drs yesterday as it had been two weeks since surgery. I've been signed of for another two weeks. It seems like ages but I am so tearful I can't face going back to work. The only time I am not tearful is when I am with DD. Feel ok when it's just me, DH, DD, my family etc. I also feel like hiding away from all my friends, not so much the ones without kids, but I still can't face any "we're expecting no2" announcements. I just feel too sad and jealous.

Sorry you find yourself here, but I hope you find it useful @Kinsters.

How are you getting on @ale2992?

@InDreamland I hope you manage to enjoy your week away and DTD lots! It's so hard to keep positive, I know, but we must hold on to hope and keep going. Can't remember whether you said you had looked into IVF but is that an option? After five years I am sure you would qualify?

@Russkispy interested in your fertility lady... What exactly does she do in your chats and emails? Is it like positivity coaching or diet tips etc? I have been trying to eat better this week, I'm generally quite healthy but I did turn to a daily glass (more like two) of wine in the past week. Now I want to try and be healthier as at least I feel like I'm being proactive and doing something to help when I can eventually TTC again. Interested to see what info or help your lady gives.

Sorry to anyone I have missed out! Thinking of you all xxx

Update :
Finally got good news. Reabsorption has happened and the lining of my uterus is 10mm and I should expect af in a week to 10 days. Then I'm back on the crazy train lol xx

@Lilimum6 glad you finally got good news!
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue , she's providing emotional support throughout IVF journey or natural conception. Advising on supplements and diet. And also gives you a homework, with a list of questions to answer. Relating to your emotions, stress, anxiety and other issues you want to discuss. Ultimately she's there to help you to achieve your ultimate goal - to get pregnant. She's there for you and understand what one goes through to achieve it

Had egg collection this morning. 10 follicles collected out 15 as the rest were too small. So far 1 follicle was empty. So have 9 in total to see how they develop in the next couple of days and ET is on Wednesday. And hopefully there will be embryos to freeze and doc wants to do genetic testing on them. We agreed. Now it's waiting time

@moonpeace it's nice to have someone who understands how I feel! I have no one in 'real life' which is why I'd rather withdraw from everyone right now. That said, I wish you didn't know how I felt. It's a shit place to be 

It sounds good @Russkispy! I am not sure what TYC will be like now. I've always found it soul destroyingly all consuming and disappointing, but I have no idea whether I will even be able to now I have one tube. My Dr said I can't try for two months (not sure I can wait that long), I have counselling starting next week to help me deal with some of the shock over the ectopic, but I wouldn't rule out a fertility coach in future. I am pleased you find it useful. I think TTC is often such a pot luck gamble, anything that helps us feel productive and in control is beneficial xxx

Sorry, typo, TTC 🤦🏼‍♀️

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you. I'm looking forward to some time out. IVF just isn't for me, I just can't go through with it for religious reasons. Glad you have been signed off for longer, I had as month with my first mc, only a week with mc #2 but I went straight into 2.5 weeks holiday anyway. You need to take all the time you need and if you need to start at from pregnant friends then do so as what you're feeling is totally natural.

@Russkispy fx toy have since hadn't embryos to transfer and freeze!

@Lilimum6 yay!!!!!! That is really good news!

@Lilimum6 YES! Such good news! Xx

Thanks ladies I'm glad to know where I'm at now. All aboard the crazy train of ttc. I hope rmc isn't to long of a wait though I'm very impatient

I'm sorry in @InDreamland, I didn't mean to push it. I just wondered if that could be a solution. I am not religious so don't know much about these things, but I respect your decision and conviction. You have to do what feels right and comfortable for you xxx

@indreamland I’m catholic too, I’m told there are mechanisms now available especially in the number of eggs collected and embryos so there is no waste. You can also donate to other infertile, married, Catholic couples. But you can’t personally get away from the guidance that only married couples should conceive via natural intercourse in the mother’s uterus.

I have to say I don’t understand (or support) that part at all. But i do believe technology will advance fully to solve the conflicts of all faiths.

Don’t want to turn this into a religious thread, could be worth discussing with your priest and researching the new methods available. Are you sure ivf is the only possibility, I.e have you had tests etc to rule everything else out? Xxx

Hello everyone. I'm sorry to see so many people that have suffered from a pregnancy loss though you all seem like a wonderfully supportive group. I'm hoping that I am in the right place, though do feel free to tell me if I'm not.

I haven't actually been through our loss just yet - I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant with an incredibly ill baby. The many doctors and midwives we've seen have said in the most sensitive way that they really don't think that it will survive. We've done our own research and our chances of having a healthy child to term are barely there, and through scans we have seen that our baby's condition is worsening by the day. Therefore we have come to the horrible decision to take the first step in inducing a miscarriage on Monday in the hospital.

This baby was planned and desperately wanted, and right now all I can think about is becoming pregnant again. I feel lost. My husband is in agreement and is being amazing but I don't want to talk to any friends or family about trying again.

I suppose I'm really just looking for people to talk to. Sorry for the very long message.

4 fertilised out of 9. Such a better outcome do our first round in December. And praying heret hey will all make to blast. ET is on Wednesday and the rest to freeze. Needing all the hope and luck in the world right now!
@PastaSauceHoarder I'm so sorry about what you're going through right now!

@PastaSauceHoarder I am so so sorry you are going through this. Sending you massive hugs. We are here if you need us xx

Thank you so much, @Russkispy and @K0013. Right now I just want to try again as soon as we possibly can, though I'm not sure when that will be. And I'd feel horribly guilty asking the midwife on Monday when I'm still pregnant with this baby.

@PastaSauceHolder sorry you are going though this. Don't feel guilty for asking advice it's important that you do. This baby dying doesn't change the fact that you wanted a baby so it's natural to want to try again.

I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry to those feeling low. I’ve been a bit caught up in funeral arrangements for the last few days which has been a bit tough but I have been trying to keep up to date with what you are all dealing with.

@PastaSauceHoarder Sorry you are going through this. As others have said, you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting another baby and it’s responsible to take advice about that. I lost a baby at full term a month ago today and the last time I saw my midwife I asked her about TTC. Well I just asked her who the best person is to talk to about trying for another baby and we haven’t even had a funeral yet. I know our situations are not exactly the same but I loved my baby girl and I can never replace her but I was 40w pregnant and on mat leave and we were both ready to bring a baby home so I think it is natural to want another baby.

I can also understand not wanting to discuss with other people. I too worry what people would think if I were pregnant again in a few months but then I also think they would understand xx

Thank you @Bluebelltulip, it does just feel like a natural urge to have another baby. I'm glad it doesn't sound as cold as I felt it might.

And thank you @AliceRR, I remember your thread, I read it as it was running. It was absolutely heartbreaking, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your little girl. She sounded like she was incredibly loved. I just can't imagine.

Yes we had made all these plans (perhaps prematurely, looking back now) and I just want all those moments to look forward to again.

@Lilimum6 I'm so pleased you've got back to 'normal' quicker this time hun. xx

@PastaSauceHoarder as others have said; don't feel guilty. And I'm sure the medical staff are used to people asking about it in the same situation as you. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. This group of ladies is really helpful going through loss. Don't feel alone.

@AliceRR Don't feel bad about not keeping up with everyone else all the time; don't hesitate to drop in on us anyway. I can't imagine what you're going through. I admire your strength. Huge hugs xxx

@Boboelephant How are things going?
@Mistymeow And how are you?

Does anyone have any news of @hayleyfx?

Thank you @PastaSauceHoarder @KnitKitty xxx

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been awol for a while. They had a cancellation and fit me in for a d&c on Friday. I was okay on Friday but had the worst day yesterday. I didn't stop crying all day. My husband went out with his dad and friend to watch the rugby in town (on tv in a pub/bar not live) at 11.30 and got home at 1.30am. I was alone all day and not up to seeing anyone else. It was only when he was halfway out the door with his coat and shoes on and keys in hand and saw me crying me eyes out (is been crying all morning) that he thought to ask whether I wanted him to stay (I said no because you'll just be wishing you were three anyway). He then didn't test me until 4.30pm to ask how I was doing. I ended up crying all day both about the lost babies and also about my dhs lack of consideration. It it just me or does comforting and your wife the day after she's had your unborn babies sucked from her womb take precedent over going drinking with friends? It literally didn't even cross his mind to ask whether I minded or whether I wanted to do anything.

I'm feeling so angry both at him and others, and so upset, and can't tell whether I'm being totally irrational and hormonal or not.