TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@ale2992 I'm so sorry. That's such as shame. I hope you're doing ok under the circumstances. xx

@Catconfusion not really but what can I do

Not much I guess apart from looking after yourself best you can at the moment. What a horrible shock! I don't think there's anything anyone can say. Take care! xx

@ale2992 I'm so sorry to read this. This is just shit. Sending hugs

@BluebellTulip thank you.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue thank you. We're going to Venice for a few days.

@ale2992 sorry you're spotting, hope it stops and things are still ok.

@Russkispy keeling fingers crossed for you.

Been so tearful today crying in the loos at work. I'm so sick of being so useless and unable to have a baby. 5 years of unexplained infertility was hard enough to cope with, 2 losses is even worse and on top of that not pregnant, birthday next week and mothers day at the end of the month. Crying again now. Why me?

@ale2992 I'm so sorry. It really is just shit!

@user1474623337 I'm rubbish with those tests and never really know what I'm looking for! I'm definitely a FRER kind of girl! Can you test again in the morning with FMU?

@InDreamland what a rough road you have been on. I did not realise you had been trying for so long, my heart goes out to you. Have you and your DH had tests? Do you qualify for IVF? I hope I don't sound callous but might that be an option? You clearly want this very much and you definitely seem to deserve it xxx

@ale2992 I'm so sorry lovely. What a horrible rollercoaster. Be kind to yourself tonight, have a glass of wine, eat the chocolate, whatever makes you feel better. Life can be an utter bitch.

Yes that's my plan although I've started to feel periody so staritng to feel less hopeful 😔

Right, swans are back - bacterial vaginosis so another course on antibiotics prescribed BUT I'm a bit conflicted in what to do -

The course is 7 days and you can't drink alcohol on them because they make you ill.

I organised an event almost a year ago, thousands of people are going and it's on this weekend - we have about 20 friends staying at our house this weekend who are coming to said event.

I can't just not go, because I organised it. If I don't drink and say I'm on antibiotics, my friends will all assume I'm pregnant because I'm a drinker. I also want to drink - this night has been a long time in the planning and if I'm looking for the small insignificant silver lining in my miscarriage, it's being able to drink at this event.

Can I just sit on the ABs and start the course on Sunday? BV is fairly common, I'm hoping my vagina isn't going to rot off in the meantime? All of my symptoms have gone tbh although I know I need to take the course of ABs. When I told my GP he was it was best to take them and not drink at my event, but I just don't think he understood how heartbreaking it will be to have to explain when I tell my friends I'm
"On antibiotics" and they give me that excited squee look. I can't cope with that this weekend. I just can't.

And that is "swabs" - I haven't sent any swans anywhere!

@ale2992 so sorry lovely.

@frillyfarmer I'd be the same as you, tempted to wait until after the party...but I honestly don't know if it will make it worse to do that or not.

For those using clearblue opks with high/peak - what's the maximum amount of days you've got high (flashing) before you get a peak? And have you ever gone from high to low without a peak? I'm on CD16 and 7th day of flashing smiley. The instructions say if you get 9 days of flashing you can stop testing as it's unlikely you'll get a peak. X

@frillyfarmer I'd do the same and wait to take the antibiotics

Only 7:30am and already 2 pregnant women and not even left the station yet.why can't it be me? After coming up to 6 years now since we started TTC and no baby at home

😢😭

@Laney79 the most I've had is 8 days of flashing before I got my static. I did start to panic though so was relieved when it went static,, it was later in cycle too than normal.

@InDreamland I'm supposed to be going to a baby shower this weekend with my pregnant best friend who is 4 weeks ahead of where I should be if I hadn't had my miscarriage in December. Baby shower also my other friends who I told I was pregnant again last week and now it's turned out I'm not.

@Laney79 I had 7 days of flashing smile and got peak on day 8. I remember thinking would it ever get to Peak? As remember reading that after 9 days it's unlikely to get static. But never had from high to low without having peak. Hang in there and hopefully you'll get your peak later today/tomorrow

@frillyfarmer if it was me I'd prioritise my health but I'm not a drinker.

@ale2992 it's shit isn't it. You're good going, I'd probably pull out if by it was me. I was in no fit state for anything for a few months after my first mc and I think with my second I was only able to get on with stuff because I had a long holiday in the sun a week after it.

@InDreamLand and @ale2992 it's hard isn't it, I have a friend with a DD the same age as mine and she was 2 weeks behind me this time. I saw her yesterday and was fine while I was with her but in the afternoon it was hard. She's panicking about getting Moses basket etc sorted and I'm being told my babies ashes are ready to collect.

Hello,
I'm hoping its ok if I join you although not quite at the TTC stage as had surgical management (12weeks pregnant) after huge blood loss only yesterday. Joining this thread feels like something I can proactively do towards TTC even if I'm not doing anything about yet it in real life if that makes sense.

I was this forum about 3 years ago after a previous miscarriage and I found talking to other people in the same situation helped me get through it all. Miscarriage feels so lonely but the crushing disappointment of seeing AF arrive after trying again seems even worse and having people who understand is a massive support.

Morning all

So it will be 7 weeks on Friday since my RMC appointment and I've chased again this morning about any results. I just seem to keep getting fobbed off with 'We will send you a letter.' I'm starting to feel so impatient with it. Did anybody else have this?

Life is full of so much shit I understand the need to just let go and enjoy something you've been looking forward to @frillyfarmer. But I also don't have the medical knowledge to say it will be ok.

@ale2992 I definitely wouldn't be going! But if they are people you can talk to and be honest with if you need a little cry or to leave early then it may be ok.

@InDreamland I keep seeing all these perfect little families with two children playing happily or walking to school together and it's just heartbreaking when it's something you want.

@Bluebelltulip your friend sounds quite inconsiderate. That must have been so tough. When are you collecting the ashes? Do you have any plans to do anything with them, like a memorial or to put them somewhere special? I'm sending you lots of hugs. You are incredibly strong. I know my situation is not the same as yours but we must take strength from our DDs. I am sure like mine, yours is providing you with some solace at this horrible time xxx

Hi @theAntsareMyFriends. I have only been on this group a week since surgery for an ectopic in my left tube. I had a MC last summer too. This group is an amazing resource for support and I think, just to let out all the things we can't say in real life. I'm not TTC yet either but plan to. I hope you are taking it easy today.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveGlue tbf I did ask her how baby prep was going and was fine at the time. We were looking forward to spending more time together on mat leave. Will collect them some time this week, going to put some ashes into rings for DH.

@InDreamland sorry to hear of your struggles and everyone else feeling low

@frillyfarmer I’d probably just say I’m on antibiotics and, if they suggested I might be pregnant, would tell them I’m not (in a way it’s very clear I’m really not so they should shut up about it)

@Bluebelltulip I have a friend who is due to have a baby anytime now (was due on 2nd March). I was pleased for her when she told me she’s pregnant but also pleased I’d have a friend to be on mat leave with. Now as it is, I lost my baby, and her husband has just left her (affair) and she plans to divorce him so we’ve not had the start to mat leave we thought but in a way because we are both having a hard time we are better able to support each other. I don’t know what my point is - maybe just that I had a friend on mat leave too and I get being in different places. But she’s is a different place too even though her baby should be absolutely fine.

@theAntsareMyFriends I am similar to you in that I am not physically ready to TTC yet but I know I want to soon and I’m worrying about not being able to. Everyone in this forum is so lovely and supportive.

I did ask MW today who to speak to about when would be a good time to TTC She said its down to when we feel emotionally ready but I thought there would physical considerations too. She asked me to book a 6 weeks check with GP and discuss then. Still not quite ready to dtd yet anyway so... 😬