TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@Boboelephant thank you 😊

@KnitKitty this is St Mary's rmc. Their standard protocol seems to be bloods at first appointment then repeat bloods 6 weeks later. So today is repeat blood day, another milestone along the way. I get results 2nd April which is about 10 weeks from my first appt.

@Laney79 Hope you are ok - I definitely count from first day of bleeding

Thinking of you @Lilimum6 x

@Lovemysparkle Congratulations as someone else said it's great to see positive news and to remember that people do get there... sometimes it's easy to get bogged in the whole RMC cycle.

Sorry I disappeared again. Just resting after my hysteroscopy so a good time to go through and catch up on what I've missed!

@Lilimum6 Sorry for taking so long to reply. When I went privately to a consultant he said my uterus is heart shaped and he wanted to do a hysteroscopy so he could cut away some of the bit dipping down. Wasn't sure if I wanted it done but decided to go ahead as it's the only thing I have control over right now. He said afterwards that it all looks fine and he didn't need to cut anything so DH and I are so confused! I'm still bleeding from Monday and very low blood pressure so just resting.

Also well done for speaking up about your experience with the pregnant doctors. I'm glad they took your complaint seriously. It's not nice for anyone to have to be in that situation they put you in. Hope things improve for you soon. Have been thinking of you.

@Laney79 I noticed you mentioned before about coeliac antibodies - is that just in women? My husband is coeliac... we are both gluten free now. Can coeliac antibodies be linked to miscarriage?

@fnej01 Congratulations on getting married. I hope your day was everything you dreamed of and more!

@rdm10 Congratulations! Everything crossed for you 🤞🤞

@frillyfarmer So sorry you've been on such a nightmare journey. I'm glad you finally have answers and hope things start happening so you can move forward xx

@KnitKitty so sorry to read about what your OH said. Men can be so insensitive sometimes. My DH is exactly the same and it really hurts that he just doesn't get it. I hope things go well with your upcoming appointments.

@Russkispy So sorry lovely, what an emotional rollercoaster ☹️ good luck with the IVF 🤞

@Dimblebimble So sorry for your loss. Such a painful time for you both. Take care of yourself and lean on us xx

@Lovemysparkle Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your amazing news! So happy for you 🌈

@Boboelephant YES!! So so happy for you. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you that this is your rainbow 🤞🤞🤞

Sorry I haven't mentioned you all individually. I've missed so much!

Tomorrow would have been my second due date 😢 Feeling stronger than I did on my first due date. Last time we went away but due to my hysteroscopy the timing hasn't been right so we will go out for dinner tomorrow and then light our candle. We have a personalised one for each baby. By "we" I really just mean "me", since DH isn't on the same page. He still changes his mind about trying again but I hope he will be on board end of March. I'm sick of living cycle to cycle ☹️

Nice to hear from you again @RedRobin7. It's good to know you didn't need anything removing during the hysteroscopy. I'm glad they've had a good look and everything looks good. I hope you can get trying again really soon and hope your OH stays on board.
One good thing is that I think my OH is looking forward to not using condoms anymore. March is just around the corner, so I feel like the waiting should all be coming to an end soon. Although I have been saying I won't try until after April; after my sister's wedding. It might be sensible. We'll see what the consultants say and how I feel.

I’m so happy to hear from you all & as I said girlies don’t give up❤️ I’ve battled huge anxiety & obstacles in my pregnancy/birth from very early pregnancy I had to have antibiotics which I was told can cause mc luckily my little man got through that, from severe hormonal melt downs to gestational diabetes just to name a few!! It certainly tested mine & dh’s relationship & although we would not change a thing for all the money in the world we got our bfp a week before our wedding day so we haven’t really been “newly weds” as one of the things we were not allowed to do was dtd!! But like I said we wouldn’t change a thing❤️ We had a lot of hospital appointments & everytime we went we had to pass the room where our world fell apart with our first mmc & the night before my beautiful baby boy was born me & dh has a little cry as you never forget or loose the pain.
You are all so amazing & are gladiators with your strength & determination❤️ Individually you are all doing the right thing & I have no doubt that you will have your rainbow 🌈 baby
My little boy jack is 99.9% going to be my last & although my dh is a wonderful dad to my 14 year old ds (not his biologically) I am sooooo happy to have given him our gorgeous little man.
I would love to linger as I always keep up with you all & as I said I’m always here if you want to bend my ear on anything 😘😘

I was strong this morning and didn't test going to get work after work tonight to test in the morning though.

@Lovemysparkle Big congratulations! It sounds like such a rollercoaster but you made it. Thanks for updating. I gravely appreciate input from those who have got through it and come out the other side. Best wishes! Xx

@ale2992 well done for resisting. It'll be worth it to know for sure but looking good! Xx

I'm nervous to test again though in case it's bfn

Sorry @Lovemysparkle I meant grateful not gravely. Completely changes the meaning

So I caved (again) but why must frers come in packs of two it's just too tempting.
But look! Darker line!!!

@ale2992 I think congratulations are in order! How are you feeling? X

@Catconfusion probably overexcited!
Abit sick in the mornings, back ache and very tired xx

@ale2992 sounds like the symptoms match up with the test. I'm so excited for you! X

@RedRobin7 lovely to hear from you again. Hope your recovery from the hysteroscopy is quick. Sorry you're hitting your second due date.

@ale2992 congratulations! Definitely s clear line there. Fx for a sticky one!

@Catconfusion me too! But trying not to be at the same time!

@Laney79 you're so right! Wow! So looked at the dates I'd recorded for all cycles since mc#1 and AF has always started 13 days after I got a static smiley on my CB OPK- only 1 exception was when I got my BFP in November which sadly turned into mc#2 which of course bleeding started way after 13 days. So guessing my LP is also 12 days? If that is the case then that means AF is due on today.

@Lovemysparkle it's so lovely to read your update. Sounds like your pregnancy was certainly not an easy ride but so glad little Jack is happy and healthy and making your family complete (unless that 0.1% starts increasing and another little one comes into the picture 😉)

I received a text from a close friend who has also been having a difficult journey TTC. She had a tough time with baby no1 and quite a few MCs before he arrived and then she had a early MC last year just after my first MMC. She's now 17 weeks pregnant with dc#2. So it's another hopeful story that it does happen. I'm so happy for her, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing it was me too of course I do but it does give me hope.

Going to the docs tomorrow for swabs. No more foul smelling blood today, it's turned heavy and bright red now but coupled with the thrush I just want it checking out.

Almost BFN, it's a real squinter now. The bitter irony of spending months waiting for a BFP squinter, and now I'm just fucking praying for a snowy white negative.

Six weeks since MC, how much longer is this going to drag on?

Just popping on to say hello and thanks for the warm welcome.
Thinking of you all who are having a rough time of it just now xx

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It has hit us a lot harder than last time. The first time we brushed it off as a one off, but we've now lost 3 babies (1 singleton pregnancy and 1 twin pregnancy) at exactly 8 weeks with exactly the same spotting, it doesn't feel like it can be a coincidence. We're both struggling with the realisation that we may never have children, which we'd always taken as a given up until this second miscarriage.

I emailed the university's HR and they were totally useless - I didn't mention miscarriage, but explained that I'd had a sudden health issue that meant I may need a day off for minor surgery and may mean that I need to take time off suddenly whilst awaiting the surgery if the pain becomes too much. HR just said let me know when you book a day off so I can register in the system, and speak to your line manager - a professor in the department (not really equipped to deal with HR issues of this kind). Again, he just said cancel a lecture for the surgery if you need to and get well soon. I was hoping for some support in dealing with the uncertainty of it all, the fact that I could begin to miscarry at any time (including during a lecture - they last 3 hours so no quick get away) and if so may not be in a position to cancel all of my classes myself (last time I could barely walk/speak by the time we got to the hospital). I now have a HR lady phoning my tomorrow and I'm going to explain that it is a missed miscarriage, but I have a feeling she won't be able to offer any help (I emailed her on Monday and it's taken her 3 days to get in touch, and she hasn't even said 'sorry you're unwell', just I'll phone you tomorrow).

I'm feeling really upset by the lack of support at work, not sure whether I'm being irrational or not. I know I haven't actually told them its a miscarriage, but from my email it's clear that it's something serious and yet HR does nothing to support me. Just says email me and tell me what's wrong, e.g. cold, stress, etc. Do you think maybe I shouldn't tell them it's a miscarriage? Initially I didn't because there is a small threat of redundancies (unlikely to affect my department) and I was worried I'd be at risk if they knew I was trying for a baby. Is it unnecessary and inappropriate to tell them? I've lost sight of what is normal :(

I've started to have some cramps, so worried that it may be starting soon.

Tested again, Lines still there this morning although it's not darker, hoping this isn't a bad thing as it was only yesterday evening when I last tested.

@Dimblebimble I am so sorry you're not getting the support you need. Unfortunately, not all work places are as helpful as mine but telling my HR about both of my miscarriages was the best thing I'd done. My main HR contact regularly checks how I'm doing and even text me yesterday to ask how I was feeling after my hysteroscopy.

I was so against telling HR I was pregnant until I got to 12 weeks (which I did with my first MMC) but now I realise the more open I am, the easier it is for them to support me. I work for a very big organisation that you will all know, so it is unusual HR have the time to look out for me but I'm so grateful they do.

I think what you're going through is huge and they wouldn't have even thought of it. Give it some thought but maybe just be honest.

I hope you get the support you need x

@DimbleBimble consider telling your boss and HR, they have to support you but they can't if they don't know. For both my losses I wasn't recorded as sick because it was pregnancy related, my boss was really good and did it as compassionate leave and made a note of why. Sending you lots of hugs!

@frillyfarmer hope it goes blank very soon so you can start to think about TTC again rather than having this drag on. It's just horrid.

@Newbie21 nice to hear there is hope. I can't help feel though like it happens for everyone else apart from me.

I started light spotting this morning. That's me out again. Not pregnant again with my rainbow before my birthday. To top it off f'ing pregnant women everywhere again this morning. Can't life cut me a break. 2 losses and then having it shoved down my throat - thanks a for the head fuck life!

@InDreamland I understand how you feel. I do feel that cycles just pass me by and I hear more news of friends and colleagues having babies and I'm still waiting month in month out. My cycle has changed since the MCs and now I get early spotting and then day gap and then AF so every month I wish it's implantation bleeding and every month I'm disappointed. I'm not going to bother symptom spotting anymore.

Might go speak to a Dr to check if there is any issue with the early spotting and if I can take anything that will help but other than that I just need to keep b*ggering on.