TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@ale2992 how exciting! I'd find it hard to wait but would probably wait for first thing. Do what feels right though. I really hope you get a positive! X

@Catconfusion I really don't know what to do... 😩

Hiya everyone,

Went to the epu for the scan and there were 8 weeks twins but no heartbeats. They must have stopped growing in the past couple of days, possibly when the bleeding turned red. We are particularly upset as I am a twin and we have always wanted twins of our own.

A bit unsure of what to do now. I had a d and c at start of November so am I risking scarring and my future fertility by having another one so soon? But then I am a lecturer teaching up until the end of march (though my contact/ in classroom hours are only one day a week) so how do I go on knowing that I may begin to miscarry at any point?! Don't know whether to tell HR or not. I didn't last time because I wasn't teaching and opted for surgical management so it didn't really impact my work.

They don't do testing until you have 3 miscarriages but I mentioned that I'd had 2 chemicals as well as 2 missed miscarriages and she said they'd think about it but it sounds like it takes months and months. Are you allowed to keep trying while you're being tested regarding recurrent miscarriages?

I don't feel like trying again just yet, even though I can feel my biological clock ticking. I feel like I want to focus on myself and my health first, perhaps for 2 and 3 months. Is it weird that both mine and dhs first instinct is to want to book a holiday somewhere hot and sunny?

@Dimblebimble I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm probably not going to be much help as I three weeks past my first MMC but I'll try.

The doctor I saw at EPU said the newer procedure they use ERPC is much less risky than a d&c so could be done repeatedly if need be. That's just one opinion and like you I think I'd still worry about scarring. I used to teach and I would be really worried it'd start at work. I can imagine a medical management could be very traumatic considering your circumstances.

I don't know much about the recurrent path but it sounds like they should be looking into any possible causes to at least rule them out. Losing one and then two at once surely is enough!

It sounds perfectly logical to me to want to get away and have a break somewhere sunny. I found it hard being home and in the space I had been pregnant. Would HR support you with some time off? I know in education environments it's hard but you've been through so much!

Anyway take care and I hope you get some answers. Xx

Tests aren't here yet! Might have to wait until the morning

@ale2992 fate decided for you. Good luck!

@Catconfusion they've just got here! Fate is messing with my head haha

@Dimblebimble I'm so so sorry. That must be so very hard. I think that the risk of scarring is very minimal even with multiple ERPC's and personally would choose the surgery as it is by far the most effective option and I too would be worried about it starting at work. You have to do what feels right for you though. A sunny holiday sounds exactly what you need xx

I'm so sorry @Dimblebimble. Be kind to yourself tonight and don't feel you need to rush your decision. I know waiting is horrible but you can always ask more questions should you want to before making a choice. I'm thinking of you.

Thinking of you too @AliceRR xxx I

@InDreamland I am also having a tearful day. I am a firm believer that it's better to let it out though, I used to try and cope when I was younger and it got me no where! Cry as much as you need, it may seem futile but it is all part of healing.

I'm having a glass of wine tonight.

Sorry for those going through a hard time and if this upsets anyone. I've been a penguin for 14 threads and I am so happy to share (especially for the other old timers)- that after 2.5 years trying, an ectopic, a MMC, 15 months of infertility and a round of IVF that today I got my BFP!!!

Oh @Boboelephant that is just fantastic news! I'm so so so so pleased for you! What happens next, will you get extra scans up to 12 weeks? Oh man can't wait for you to have your first scan. Sending lots and lots of love xxxx

Positivity to everyone else - it CAN happen no matter what you are going through, stay hopeful xxxx

@Boboelephant that's great news. I'm really pleased for you. What a journey you've been on. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy! xx

Ok I caved and tested, I think I see a SUPER almost non existent line but the other half disagrees and thinks I'm reaching 😩😩
I'm telling myself either way I'm not out yet until af comes but I'm now feeling like I'm getting pms cramps and back ache 👎🏻👎🏻

@Catconfusion thank you so much! x

@Yukka thank you hun! It's so surreal and amazing. I forgot what a second line looks like! Yes I go in for a blood test tomorrow and the fertility clinic will do a scan at 6 weeks. I'll also get one at the EPU at 5 weeks to check it's in the right place and they also said they'll give me one at 8 weeks. Then we'll probably pay for a private one at 10 so should be pretty set. 😀

@DimbleBimble really really sorry to read your post. I haven't had ERPC but am post-test-and-currently-pregnant-recurrent -mc-er

First thing I would ask is who (and How) is deciding that the first two are 'chemical' pregnancies. There is usually no mechanism of testing this phenomenon unless products are collected and tested to prove the absence of a blastocyst/fetus. So take a step back and ask how many positive pregnancy tests have you had, and of those how many times did the pregnancy not continue. I think the answer is 4 - this is what you need to tell your GP - you've had 4 MC's.

The wait for the tests depends on the trust. For me I had a first appointment 2 months after the last MC - some say this is deliberate to ensure HCG etc is out of your system but of the hospitals I was offered this was the first available appointment. I met with the consultant, we talked through my experiences and discussed possible causes/appropriate test to be done. They took bloods on the day, and then scheduled a non pregnancy scan to check the uterus is normal (about 3 weeks after). This is pretty standard. Usually you only get all the results together, not the bloods first etc I got my first results about 8 weeks after the first appointment.

Some conditions that cause MC require a second test to validate the first test wasn't an anomaly, so in my case I then had to have a second test 12 weeks after the first . . so this was about 4 weeks after I got the initial results, then a 2-3 weeks wait for the results from that which gave me a diagnosis.

So all in all - July to Nov for me. 3rd MC was in May. They advised that TTC was fine, as there is no guarantee the tests will show a problem ( I believe its about 50/50 of those that have a testable condition and those that don't) however afterwards with my diagnosis had I conceived without diagnosis I likely would have lost another one as success without treatment is less than 20%. As it happened, I found out we'd conceived 4 days after the diagnosis was confirmed, so we went straight into action stations for treatment and care pathways. I'm currently 18 weeks and so far so good. Fingers crossed.

Hope this helps if you have any other q's just shout. I had thought that scarring etc is low risk, the procedure is common but some of the other ladies here can advise better than me xxx

@DimbleBimble I'm so so sorry. Nothing I can say will make things better, this is so sad. Sending you lots of love

@boboelephant that is such amazingly wonderful news! Thrilled for you! You deserve this so much. Looking forward to all your updates on progress. Congratulations!!!!!!

@ale2992 sorry for the BFN. How many DPO are you?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue sorry you're also having a miserable day. Let's all cry together

I'm CD27 and 9/10DPO. AF not arrived yet but thinking maybe cycle is being back to what it was pre-mc #2 at 27/28 days. Fully expecting the witch to turn up very soon. Can't believe my TTC journey started 5 years and 8 months ago and I still don't have a baby to hold, just my two angels in heaven. This is so depressing.

@InDreamland I'm trying to convince myself it's not a BFN 😩
10dpo x

@ale2992 could still be too early. Might be more visible in the morning. I felt like AF was coming when I was first pregnant. I've got my fingers crossed for you! xx

@Catconfusion thanks I'm testing again in the morning x

@AliceRR I've been thinking about you and your little girl today, I'm just so sorry for what you're going through, such a long time to wait until your PM results.

I started bleeding last night, light at first but getting progressively heavier, so hopefully this is the RPOC coming out.

Unfortunately the antibiotics have given me thrush 😩 and because I'm still miscarrying, I can't use pessaries so I'm at the mercy of orals.

I'm trying to turn this into a more positive situation and to stop myself sitting and dwelling/swilling wine, I've taken up running again, which I haven't really done for two years since becoming pregnant with DS. Tonight I ran 5 miles at a very steady pace with my two retrievers and I feel a sense of satisfaction I'd forgotten about.

Congratulations @Dimblebimble that's such good news after such a long time of trying. I really hope this is your sticky xx

@ale2992 it may be too early to test at 10dpo. Maybe give it another couple of days? Fx for you that you get that second line!

@moonpeace looks like that's 3 of us with @ale2992 around the same DPO. Wouldn't it be amazing if all 3 of us can get BFPs in the next few days. Keeping fx for you too! I just don't feel pg and feel like AF is turning up very very soon.

@dimblebimble I’m so sorry to read your post ☹️ I hope you have someone taking care of you at home