TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@frillyfarmer I'm so sorry to hear of your outcome. I had an ERPC after retained products but wasn't told to wait (only for dating purposes if I fell pregnant before first period after the procedure). Could you have a phonecall with your GP to see if you can be given the all clear to try again? Best go with the medical advice but I hope you get to try again soon.
@boboelephant wow that's an amazing result, couldn't be any better! I have everything cross for those remarkable embies! When are you transferring?
@yukka so glad all is going well with the pregnancy.
@indreamland @laney79 @knitkitty @tinypaws @lilimum6 and all the other ladies on this thread- I hope you're all managing and doing well.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone but I had a scan today because I'd had some light spotting and bleeding. EPU were lovely and booked me in for a scan. Immediately the sonographer put me at my ease and said it's all good, little 4.8mm embryo with a strong heartbeat. She did put me at 6 weeks when I thought I was 7 but they reassured me that everything was normal. With the mmc we only saw a sac and no embryo at 9 weeks, so it was lovely seeing the wee blob beating away. I'm still anxious but so far so good.

Lovely news @Mistymeow really pleased for you xxx

Thanks @InDreamland, @Lilimum6, @Yukka, @KnitKitty and @Mistymeow!! To answer questions after they transfer my blastocyst tomorrow morning, I will technically be pregnant. They call it PUPO- pregnant unless proven otherwise. I can take a test about 10 days after the transfer. It takes about 2 weeks for the trigger shot which is full of HCG to leave my system so any test before that could give a false positive. And yes having a few extra to freeze would be great so if we do it again we don't have to repeat all the down regulation and injections.

@Laney79 good luck for testing tomorrow!

@frillyfarmer sorry to hear it's retained products but pleased you finally have an answer. Hard to say with waiting. Usually they say the wait is just to date your next pregnancy but if they expressly said it was to let your body recover I'd probably listen. Up to how you feel though!

@Mistymeow so pleased for you!!!!

@frillyfarmer I'm sorry it wasn't a miracle. Hugs xxx
It's also good that it's not ectopic, but retained products sucks. I'm glad they've got you on antibiotics though. I hope your body does what it needs to do now; but be patient with it... sometimes our bodies need time to grieve and let go when they're ready to. Be kind to yourself.
As for the waiting advice. Generally if a doctor gives a specific time to wait like that it's best to listen to their advice. It's not always what we want to hear, but actually giving your body and mind some time to heal isn't a bad thing; but it can feel painful emotionally to put everything on hold when all you want is to be pregnant again. You're strong though, you can cope. And we're all hear for you.

@Mistymeow Lovely to hear from you; and with such good news! I'm sorry you've had spotting though... It's a stress you could do without, but if it means they're keeping a closer eye on everything, that's a silver lining! I'm sooo pleased you saw a little heart-beat. Stay strong! I hope everything goes well from here on in. Keep us up-to-date! xxx

@Boboelephant I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight! I have absolutely everything possible crossed for you that this transfer works and brings you your rainbow. Good luck. Stay zen. Drink lots of water and rest. Sending you wonderful vibes! xxx

Apparently I'm ready for the weekend... Ignore all the typos...

So it took me a while but there is a section that says aspirin without diagnosis does not improve outcomes in women with early recurrent miscarriage and a concern about increased miscarriage rates for those with unexplained rmc and no clear cause.

It’s literally one sentence, that’s it. Confused.

@frillyfarmer sorry it’s not a new bean for you but glad you know it will resolve. I would have thought one cycle is enough though.

@bobo so excited for you!

It's weird isn't it @Yukka - I think there's not been enough research, and the studies that have been done aren't very reliable from what I can tell either due to numbers or type of trial.

It seems odd that anecdotally a number of ivf clinics and RMC docs recommend it's use almost like a standard protocol. To my mind if there were concerns then surely they wouldn't?

Progesterone seems to be similar despite the recent promise trial saying it doesn't do anything-lots of people under RMC still seem to be prescribed it. Wonder if it's placebo effect maybe for that one?

For me-until I get told otherwise by my early pregnancy nurse/consultant and they give me the evidence to back it up I'm going to take it if I get a bfp. There are clotting issues in my family, and although I've not been diagnosed with any something tells me aspirin may well help...so I'm going to trust my instincts. That is if I'm lucky enough to be pregnant again in future of course!

@Boboelephant thanks, and I'm keeping everything crossed tomorrow goes well for you! Xxx

@laney79 thing is, it’s not ethical to test on pregnant women anyway....so clinical trials are voluntary and no doubt few and far between.

I’m with you to be honest xx

Very true @Yukka. Not sure I'd want to be part of a trial to be honest (in fact I decided against being part of the mife/miso trial during my first loss). You just want the best possible treatment don't you.

They just know so little about pregnancy and miscarriage -it's like it's an area of medicine they've not really looked into until recently.

@frillyfarmer I'm sorry hun retained products is never easy I'm the queen of it. It's horrible to drag out mc any long. Please be kind to yourself x
@Boboelephant good look tomorrow
@Yukka and @Laney79 thanks for the info on asprin.
@Mistymeow thanks for asking after me.

As for me I had some bright red bleeding early this afternoon but its since turned to spotting again. I was so excited that my body was gonna give me a break and pass everything by its self so I could avoid surgery again but I'm now fully aware that, that just isn't going to happen so roll on surgery in March oh the joys off ttc 😢

Mind if I join? Had a MMC 2 weeks ago. I had a scan at 9wks, it had stopped growing at 7+4. It was a IVF pregnancy so I was on progesterone which may have masked the MC for a while. I had a medical management pills, they were manageable physically (although trying to not remember laying on the bathroom floor white as a sheets after vomiting). I had a scan yesterday which showed the MC is complete. Yesterday should have been 12 weeks so that was hard and today someone at work announced their pregnancy, so another hard day. I've been surprised how hard some days have been and the headaches are awful! The sadness comes in waves, I'm sick of feeling like this. I really want to crack on with my next treatment. I have 4 embryos in the freezer so hopefully will have another transfer in March. Any advice how to get pass this? Sorry you've all been through this, it's awful.

@Mistymeow great news!

@LillyLeaf sorry you find yourself here but welcome. Do whatever you need to to get through it. For some people it’s being really sad, for others it’s getting back to work. Same with ttc, some people need time and some need to get straight back on with it. Just do what feels best for you.

@TinyPaws I just had the same news from the rmc, that other than low vitamin d, there’s nothing else wrong. Which, like you, makes me feel really ‘meh’. On one hand of course it’s good that there’s nothing wrong but on the other hand, there’s nothing to fix so what’s to stop it happening again (and again and again)?

It’s so interesting what everyone’s saying about aspirin. My rmc said the same as @Lilimum6 dr- not to take it as it actually causes more harm before 8 weeks. But I’m so conflicted. I was so annoyed that I didn’t take it last time (mc3) and I was all set to take it this time. I know if a medical professional is telling me not to take it then I shouldn’t but everything I’ve read and nearly every positive post mc story points to taking it. Plus I had a letter from the rmc consultant during last pregnancy (although it came aftern I’d mc’d So was too late) saying there was no harm in taking it!?

It seems like a total act of madness to do everything exactly the same for the 4th time and expect a different outcome!?

@rdm10 I'm with you on this asprin thing I'm totally confused and I dint know what to do for the best

Well that's me out this month 11dpo and bfn on frer. I know I shouldn't have got my hopes up but I did. Every month that goes by I hate my body even more. I've managed to get pregnant twice, and both times it's failed me and I've lost them both, now everything month it's tricking me into thinking I'm pregnant and I'm not. I just don't have any faith that my body can do this. Everything was as perfect as it could be this month timing wise.

I hate this.

@Laney79 sorry to hear that, I know it's hard but try to not be so hard on yourself.
TWW starts tomorrow again for me, so so hoping this month is my month 🤞🏻

@rdm10 I hear you, even with my clotting disorder I was told to start after bfp, but after all the research this didn’t make total sense either so I started 6 weeks before to make sure my uterus lining was the best quality it could be. We conceived with a clean start in my view.

I know I have a disorder so it is different, but I made that decision before diagnosis, in the end I got the letter saying I had aps and 4 days later got a bfp. It was a risk, it could have back fired. But I tried because I couldn’t face doing nothing. Aspirin and acupuncture.

Even now the advice differs on the heparin. If I could buy that at boots too I’d still be taking it despite consultant taking me off at 14w. I’m just grateful they booked in 4 weekly growth scans and blood flow checks as first consultant wasn’t going to do that either. No meds and no checks...really?thankfully the female specialist took a different view and I’m all booked in till birth.

@lilyleaf sorry to see you here. Lots of lovely ladies to talk to and support you xx

@laney79 sorry lovely ( tho you have a few days yet) I was the same last summer and I had some months I was certain the timing was right. Perhaps have faith if your cycles are behaving normally then this is a good thing and it will happen xxx

Welcome @LillyLeaf as you can see these ladies are amazing.

Thanks @Yukka And @ale2992 - our bodies are just so cruel, even my oh thought I was pregnant this month with the symptoms. I have a 12/13 day luteal phase so highly unlikely things will change, and if they do and it's a late implanter the mc risk is higher. So I have to allow myself a few hours of crying and feeling rubbish, then I have to try and shake it off, and hope AF arrives on Monday as expected. Things were so much simpler a year ago.

So I have to focus on other things...I've won tickets to see Boyzone tonight at Wembley (sadly @rdm10 the boyz baby dust didn't work ), which will be fab, I now can get my thrombophilia and coeliac tests done knowing I'm not pregnant, and I just have to try and focus on fertile week and trying again (and try to be positive about that as it's sounds awful but I really feel the pressure of having to get oh in the mood to give ourselves the best shot. I miss the days of it just being fun and spontaneous) which if all goes to plan should be during our week off so may have to book in a couple of nights away somewhere. And try not to focus on my age, and the fear that it just might not happen for us.

As for Aspirin - @rdm10 I couldn't agree more. My biggest regret with losing my second one is that I didn't take it. As you said doing nothing and expecting a different outcome seems bonkers, particularly when into the realms of multiple losses. If I hear the phrase "bad luck" again I may just punch someone. None of this is bad luck, something goes wrong every time. It may be that we don't know what that is or how to try to stop it happening but something physical/genetic etc goes wrong. When your car brakes fail or your battery dies it's not bad bloody luck is it!?! Sorry. Ranty.

@Laney79 sorry you got a BFN, hopefully it’s just too early and the power of boyzone is still with you! Enjoy tonight!

I’m pretty certain I’m going to keep taking the aspirin. Some people might think it’s crazy to go against medical advice but I just can’t do nothing.
Chances are I’ll lose this one too and if I lose it after taking aspirin then at least I’ll know I’ve tried something different and I can’t really blame the aspirin as I didn’t take it the previous 3 times. If I don’t take it I’ll wonder ‘what if’.

@rdm10, @Laney79 and @Yukka I'm slightly different to you ladies I've tried not taking it and taking it and I still lost. So maybe I'll just take it a hope for the best.

So my transfer got delayed today. They called this morning and said that I had 6 at morula stage (what they normally see at day 4) but they weren't blastocysts yet. Of the other 7, one had made it to blastocyst but poor quality and 6 were still at cell dividing stage so were most likely out of the race.

She said that they can't grade them at morulas so they'd be guessing which one was the best and as there were 6, it would be best to give them a day and hope some make it to blastocysts. So transfer is a day 6 one tomorrow.

I'm feeling pretty nervous as up until now it had all seemed to be going so well. I don't know much about day 5 morulas turning into day 6 blasts and really really hope that they are going to survive and divide tonight! Of course this is my fertility journey so I shouldn't have expected any of it to be straightforward!

Oh @Boboelephant sorry it's been delayed and things are looking a bit uncertain. I won't pretend to understand the IVF stuff, I just really, really, REALLY hope those little embryos do what they need to and keep fighting and growing. Big hugs xxxxxxx

Oh @Boboelephant, I'm keeping everything crossed that at least one of your little morulas makes a good quality blastocyst. This stage of IVF is so anxiety-inducing.

@rdm10 That makes total sense.