TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

@frillyfarmer hope Thursday finally brings you some answers.

@rdm10 sorry there is no clear fix but hopefully this will be your rainbow.

@Newbie21 sorry you are feeling like you are out. Hopefully not!

@Laney79 yes it might be hard for you with a medical phobia. I found the EC pretty easy compared to the ectopic surgery and ERPC but there is definitely alot of medical intervention. Hopefully it won't come to it for you but happy to answer any questions if it does.

Happy to report that 13 of my 16 eggies fertilised! 😀😀 I will get another update on Thursday and they said there will be a definite drop off but I'm stoked that so many fertilised. 🤞🤞🤞

@Russkispy thank you!! Where are you in your cycle now?

Wow @Boboelephant 13/16 is great! Fingers crossed for Thursday!

@Boboelephant , today CD31 and still no AF. No symptoms whatsoever. But then again I never had any AF or even potential pregnancy symptoms. So don't even know what to think! Tested again yesterday (and tested on Sunday gone) and it was BFN. Since I didn't track ovulation, I haven't idea about the actual OV day. But we DTD from cd7-19, every other day. Thinking I'll have AF around cd27 or so. But here I am. Still nada.
In the meantime my IVF drugs arrived this morning. Now it's waiting time

@Boboelephant amazing news, keeping everything crossed for you!!

I'm currently 4DPO and not feeling very patient. I had my NHS RMC blood tests nearly 4 weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet. Has anyone had the karyotyping test? If so did that one take longer to come back? I think they might have said 6 weeks but I can't remember exactly.

@Boboelephant that sounds like a really good haul! Well done you! I bet you feel sore though! Make sure you're getting lots of rest and relaxing. I really hope they are of good quality and most of them last the process! Just think, one (or two?) of them might be your little baba waiting for you! How exciting!

@rdm10 Well I'm hoping that this one was just determined enough to force its way into being then. Sending you lots of positive vibes. I know getting no 'bad' results means there's nothing you can do differently, which is frustrating and worrying, but there is a positive to be taken out of this: it looks like you've just had a run of really bad luck. There may be other tests they can do if the unspeakable happens again, but otherwise my advice is to start a few mantras: "I am carrying a healthy pregnancy"/"I am healthy and everything is fine". Today, you are pregnant.
RE the aspirin. I would go with your gut on that one. Do what feels right to you.

@Laney79 We must have tested on the same day for the first time last year... Sunday 18th. Biggest shock of my life. It's weird because my memories of that day are still so positive even though the outcome was so sad; but I'm trying to hold on to that. What a special day for both of us. I must admit I'm dreading the anniversary though.

@frillyfarmer I'm so sorry. Hope tries to push through but I know how you must be battling that ever growing sinking feeling. It's the worst. Hugs xxx

What a motherfucking day.

I work in quite a male dominated, corporate professional firm as a fee earner - its great when stuff like this happens because usually you can immerse yourself in a tonne of work and get too busy to dwell 👌🏼

Today however, as I'm the only member of the team to have had a baby, and because the other girls in the office obviously haven't noticed how utterly miserable I've been, they've asked me to organise a colleagues baby shower. 😩

I just read the email and left for the evening. Would it be unreasonable to just respond "no, sorry". Gah.

Amazing @Boboelephant that is impressive! Fingers crossed for the next stage.

@frillyfarmer I know exactly how you feel. Me and one of my closest friends got pregnant 2 weeks apart and it was another miscarriage for me. I received a Facebook invite yesterday to her baby shower which is organised a week before what would have been one of my due dates. It really sucks doesn't it? It seems to be one of those things like when you buy a new car, you see it everywhere. When you're going through a hard time with conceiving/miscarriage, you seem to be surrounded by successful pregnancies and babies.

How are you feeling apart from that? Not long now until Thursday for you.

@moonpeace yes I have as neither of us have any living children at all. I called them today and none of my results are there yet as apparently they can take 6-8 weeks, seems ages.

What do you think to the NK cells testing? We went to see a private consultant and he offered it us. It was £350 and had to be done just before ovulation. I haven't had it yet (or any tests from him as decided to see what NHS results said first) but I've decided if I don't get a BFP this month I'm going to go ahead with his tests. He also wanted to do a full blood clotting test but that couldn't be done until 12 weeks after last miscarriage so can't have that until the end of March. What have you had done? If you don't mind me asking have you had a hysterosalpingogram? This is another thing the private consultant wanted to do but I read it's painful and so now I'm scared of it. Sounds pathetic I know!!

Hi Ladies - oh gosh, so much to catch up on you've been a busy bunch!

@boboelephant that's fantastic news! keeping everything crossed for you, hope the process continues as good as this for you.

@rdm10 wow congratulations! Agree with everyone else, its good there is no diagnosis as such as is always better to not have to deal with that. Stay positive, are you going to get early scans - I'm on pregnancy 4 and had them every 2 weeks at EPU until we past 12 w mark. Difficult re the Aspirin – so many different opinions about it but the message has always been there is no harm in taking low dose (75mg) and this was verified again with my hospitals Clinical Director last week. Who knows how and when research gets published . .

@Laney79 – hang in there my lovely. You don’t need me to tell you it’s not worth the heartache of a BFN on a possibly too early test! Have you got stuff planned to keep yourself busy and try and stay occupied?

@frillyfarmer, nothing wrong with saying you actually can’t organise the baby shower as you are too busy with lots going on - if you can’t or don’t want to confide any personal feelings about the situation. Presume they don’t know about prior MC, if they do then I agree with your first answer! When are you scanning again, is it Thursday?

@indreamland good news re AMH. I read that COQ10 takes 3 months but I was only on it for about 4 weeks before I conceived this time, then I stopped taking it as I was a bit worried about the impact on the fertilised egg ( rather than improving quality of the initial egg itself).

Sorry for new joiners, and to everyone I’ve missed, hope you are all otherwise well.

Quick update for me, I’m now 16.2. I had meeting last week with handful of experts and they’ve given me a clear plan from now until 6 weeks after birth where I’ll need to be monited agai for post natal impact of the APS. I can’t tell you how reassuring it was and the Senior Consultant was really like, “don’t worry - we’ve done this before”. Midwife came today and we listened to the heartbeat that’s a little bit crazy. I think now these things have happened I am starting to relax into it and believing that this one might actually happen. Haven’t bought anything yet – planning to cross that hurdle this weekend and really make it real. Yikes.

Sending love to you all xx

Oh @Pop1234 that's so so tough, sorry. My MC in Jan had the same due date as my DS so everything my two year time hop is popping up when I was however many weeks I should be this time round - torture.

We will get there xx

@Yukka 16 weeks already - eeeek! So glad you are starting to relax into it all and enjoy it now. X

@Lilimum6 how are you getting on? Xx

@KnitKitty yep Sunday the 18th. I was so so scared when it came up positive, but so excited. Like you I remember it so clearly. I now know my little bean actually only lasted a few more days before he stopped growing, even though I didn't find out till st Patrick's day. I'm dreading the anniversary too. Feels like a lifetime ago and I'm deffo not the lass I was back then.

@frillyfarmer that sounds really hard. I think I'd want to say no too. how are you feeling X

@moonpeace Glad tests came back ok, although frustrating that there's no answer. Fingers crossed they can suggest something at your appointment.

@Pop1234 That's interesting on the karyotyping, the nhs seem really reticent to do it but very useful to know they will (we have no living children either but don't qualify for rmc as I've had two losses, but I'm 39). NK wise is that prof brosens in Coventry? I know he works with prof Quenby and her reputation seems pretty good, although some people haven't had the best experience recently. I looked at the nk test but at the mo I want to explore all the bloods first (I have a medical phobia). I'm about to have the thrombophilia screen privately as my dr couldn't get the full list of tests done on the nhs.

@Yukka so pleased it's going well for you and they have a treatment plan in place. Hope the weekend shopping trip goes well!!! As for me, I was really busy last weekend during the start of the tww so that was good. Nothing really planned for this weekend. Sunday will be tough so I think I'll just try and have a chill out day with my fella and the dog. I'll try and hold off testing as long as I can but suspect I'll cave and do a frer on Saturday. For all my "no symptom spotting" mantra I'm still doing it, tum feels off and boobs are tender. 8dpo today. Holding onto @rdm10 idea of Boyzone baby dust! They did do a couple of appropriate tracks at the gig so maybe! Just maybe...

@Lilimum6 is your appointment with the consultant today lovely?

@frillyfarmer I agree with Yukka; you can give an excuse if they don't know what's been happening for you, or if they do no; an abrupt NO will suffice.

@Laney79 We can commiserate together. I found out Little Pea had stopped growing the Wednesday after Mothering Sunday.

@Yukka I can't believe how far along you are already!!! I'm so glad you're getting such good care and everything is going as well as it can be. You really deserve a smooth pregnancy.
I totally understand not having bought anything for baby yet. I think I'd be the same. Are you showing yet? Have you got maternity clothes? (that's one of my goals... I'm really excited about the thought of one day having to wear maternity clothes... haha) And will you find out the sex of the baby? So many questions! I'm really excited for you! (Can you tell?) A few months ago I found baby news; even from those who'd had RM really hard to swallow, but I'm feeling fine about it all now. In fact I'm finding it harder to hear news about MC than baby news these days which is partly why I've not been on the thread much of late; it just brings back memories and heartache.

It's been over 10 weeks since my RMC appointment now and still not a peep about a second appointment. I shall be ringing the gynae secretary again today to chase it up as I'm feeling completely in the dark still.
At least I have my endocrinology appointment in less than 3 week's time so that's something. Maybe the gynae doesn't want to see me until after that; but it would be nice to know at least...

I'm really hoping they get me on some sort of medication and they have a look at my progesterone levels (as I think prolactin can have an affect on that).

I'm starting to feel ready to try again but I know there's no point what-so-ever until my body is sorted out, so I'm getting impatient about getting some sort of treatment underway now.

I've been thinking recently how hard it is not knowing anyone IRL who has gone through RM. I know plenty of women who've had one MC, but no one who's had several and it's very lonely.
Luckily my sister is really good at listening and doesn't mind talking about it and isn't afraid to ask questions etc, so that's something. But I don't want to sound like a broken record so I try not to talk about it too much.
Just needed a vent really. As you were...

@moonpeace I agree, I don't understand how tests can vary so much for the same problem. I don't think I am going to go ahead with the hysterosalpingogram, I had heard that it's more for people who are struggling to conceive as looks at blocked tubes etc. So surely not relevant for us?

@Laney79 it is interesting. My consultant said that there wasn't any clear evidence yet but if an issue came back they would treat with steroids. But I just don't know. Maybe something I would consider next month.

@frillyfarmer you're right we will get there one day. Not long until your scan now!!

@frillyfarmer and @Laney79 thanks for asking after me. Yes consultant today I'm really really scared/nervous I hate the unknown. I'll fill you in when I get back.

@frillyfarmer good luck tomorrow I'm 🤞 for good news
@Boboelephant what wonderful news 13 is amazing x

Wow @boboelephant that is amazing! Great news! Fx that this is the cycle that 9 months later you have your rainbow in your arms.

@Yukka it lovely to hear how far along you are and that you are getting good care. I absolutely get not buying anything yet, think I'd be just as cautious. I'm really hoping the coQ10 works and DHs supplements do too.

Bit worried about this cycle, I'm now CD15 and still having a flashing smiley. Might not ov this month that's 7 days now of high but no peak as started flashing on CD9 which is the earliest I've had on a CB OPK. The stick when I took it out of the holder has a faint line on it last night and this morning. Starting to panic now after the positive AMH results.

@Lilimum6 good luck today xx

@Boboelephant Great news! Fingers crossed they keep growing.

Well, my recurrent miscarriage tests results are in and they have not found anything wrong except for abnormally high TPO antibody levels (which I already knew I had). Which is good news I suppose but a part of me was hoping for something easily fixable!

Follow up appointment isn't until April. Cycle review appointment is next week. It's tough to know where to go from here. I still want to try prednisolone on my next cycle. In the meantime I'm focussing on staying healthy and getting my vitamin D levels optimal.