Over 40 ttc- lots of baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

hmmm123: 41 (42 in spring!) 1 dc ttc #2 6 months ish
Rose68: 43, 2 DS 9 and 6, 1mmc, ttc #3
chatbash72: 46, 2ds 21,19,17,8,5
2 mmc(9wks,6wks) 2cp ttc 2.5 yrs
Russkispy: 42 (43 this April). 1 DD. TTC#2. 1mmc. 2 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF, no frosties
Minime2017: 41 ttc#1, 1cp, 1mc, ttc 2.5 yrs
Karryk: 41, 1cp, 2mmc (5.5wks, 8wks), 1dd (17 mths old), ttc#2, 1mc (6.5wks)
Realitysucks:40 (41 in 17 days) ttc#2, 1mc (5.5wks), 1DS (16), TTC cycle 5
KateyA: 40, ttc#1 (1 frosty), cycle
Karigan195 41 1DS 1mc April 2018. Pregnant 5+4 today 3.1,19
Littlemimosa age 42, 2DC 5&7, ttc too long!
Cleozeta, 41, 2dc, ttc #3 for nearly 2 years. 1 mmc at 10 wks, 1 cp
Onemorego2019 - age 40, DS 15, DD 10 & DS 3 ttc#4 Dec 2018
ZoeRoma, 41, 1st month TTC#2, DS aged 4 months
Crittertamer: Turned 41 last week! No DC, currently (as of 3.1.19) 15+5 pregnant with twins following second IVF cycle.,
Gizmojo: 44, DS (18 months), 1 mmc, ttc#2 4 months
Letsdothis43: 43 TTC#1 ttc for 2 years first IVF cycle in January/2019
Booseysmom: 46. 47 in Feb. 1 DS 5. Ttc #2 3 years
SparrowSG: 44 in April, 1 DS 2 from IVF 2016. 1 ectopic 2014. Currently BFP @ almost 8wks
Olivia12: 43. 44 in September, 1 DD 10yo, ttc #2 with DP, 1 month
Floofsquidge: 40. No DC, currently 20 +5 pg as at 9th Jan.
Taxgirl: 43 (44 in April). 1 DS (March 2017) ttc #2 for 1 year - 3 mc and 1 mmc

Gorgeous news @CritterTamer. Am so relieved for you.

So pleased to hear your news @CritterTamer

Been for the NIPT. My beans a definite wriggler although wouldnt turn over so had to put my butt up and shake until he/she turned 😂

Ultrasound guy says physically looks fine now just have to wait for the blood test results. 7 working days to wait.

Good luck ladies having nipt.

I'd have another I think but tfmr was incredibly tough.

Just broached subject of ivf with donor eggs but dp isn't interested.

So I think that's that for me. In 2 weeks I'm 47. Realistically I'm not having any more babies. ☹️

Hi @Rose68 I’m just taking the pregnacare vitamins for conception nothing else. I will look into what you suggested, can you recommend any brands? And what dosages? I’m reducing off the anti depressants I’m nearly off but the withdraws symptoms are nasty. I’m doing meditation and see a counsellor sometimes. I might look into acupuncture or another alternative therapy.

Hi @BooseysMom thanks for the recommendations, I’d like to try yoga especially for the relaxation aspect as well.

Sometimes I feel silly that I’m even considering trying for a baby at my age, but nearly everyone I mention it too knows women who had had babies in their forties, unfortunately I am naturally an anxious person and coming down off the anti depressants doesn’t help as I’m not sleeping do well and have stomach issues.

Thanks for the welcome :) xxx

@Kath91 remind me how old you are and if you already have any children? Sorry to hear about the antidepressants, I was on them a few years ago when my boys were little. I have found acupuncture has helped me feel calmer, except for the last few days where I seem to have completely fallen apart. Maybe I should try yoga too.
I get ubiquinol from Amazon, this one....
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00U0G1HVU/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8
And dhea from biovea.

Good luck to those having NIPT. And lovely to hear your positive news @critter

I'm wondering about vitamins and supplements. I have been taking a multivitamin for women plus extra folic acid and evening primrose oil. DH takes a general vitamin plus extra vitamin C and zinc.

Should we be looking at taking anything else? Are the specific conception vitamins worthwhile? If so which?

I have seen reference to Co Q10/ubiquinol and will add that, is that just for me or for both of us?

I'm a bit nervous of pushing anything branded with conception on DH as he is nervous about the whole thing and struggling a bit with pressure to perform so I'm trying to keep it as low key as possible.

@Lexiloo, I think the ubiquinol is just for you. My DH is certainly not taking it. My DH is taking Wellman conception and high strength vitamin C, it’s hard enough to get him to take that. If your DH is feeling like that, I wouldn’t try to push anything else onto him. x

@Lexiloo I have gone back and read your previous post... are your cycles regular? And do you know when you are ovulating? It might be worth using ovulation tests and charting? My cycles are very regular and I get ovulation pains, so I don’t bother with the charting, but I am using clear blue ovulation tests. I have to say though that they don’t give enough warning, this month I woke up with ovulation pains and got the positive opk all at the same time. If DH isn’t fully on board you might struggle with taking your temp each morning, I know my DH wouldn’t be impressed with it. Or you could use ovusense or a fertility bracelet which I think does it for you while you are asleep.

Hi I keep getting mentioned in posts.... I think it must be from someone else... ie Lexilooo not me Lexiloo...

@Karigan195
Thanks - yes I will definitely use you as my sounding board please- good to have someone else who understands things that is due around the same time.

Cd1 for me again. This is bad, as yet again gives me a 9 day LP, meaning it is now a pattern. 4 cycles have now been 9 day lp. It's not long enough to support a pregnancy. Plus it means that fertility 'expert' really was talking shit. She just wanted me to go. Not interested in helping in any way. 9 day lp is not long enough and I need some kind of help with that. All the things I have tried have done nothing to lengthen it. TCM, vitex, B6, vit C, vit D all done sweet FA.
I think I'm going to try IUI if they'll let me, if only for the progesterone support

Sorry for the confusion, yes two separate posters with very similar names! I'm Lexilooo

@Rose68 thank you for your replies.

DH is a bit of a hypochondriac so will take vitamins easily enough if they are for general health or something else but I think branded ttc vitamins might put him off. Getting the timing right is hard enough without him feeling pressured without daily reminders. Might get him a general multivitamin plus vit c and zinc then buy myself the pregnacare one.

In terms of me, I am still having a period each month and signs of ovulation each month. My cycles aren't dead regular, but within normal limits 28 - 31 days.

I haven't tried temping, ovulation tests or a monitor. Perhaps I should look into this further. I don't think temping is practical but maybe I need to do something.

Only trouble is that even when you know when ovulation is happening you still need to manage to successfully DTD at that time. Can be easier said than done!

Hi, can I join you? I've been lurking for a while but my TTC attempts have only really got off the ground this cycle! I'm going to be 40 next month and TTC #3. I'm still BF #2 and my period only returned a few months ago. My cycle seems regular if long at 35 days. I think that's about what it was before. But I'm not really sure if I'm ovulating. I'm tracking my cycle with an app and just started with OPK this cycle.

@Lexilooo
If it helps, DH and I have barely had sex for most of last year - we managed 2-3 times a month average and rarely at the right time (we were involved in building new house last year plus moving and in the middle he was made redundant - it was very stressful).
He refused to talk about it, we didn't take any vitamins, no charting, nothing.
We conceived in Dec only having sex once after my period before BFP. I obviously have a long way to go yet but honestly - it really only takes one! I am 40, almost 41 and he is 45.

@Megan2018 thanks that helps.

It can be so difficult to time things when you are older, with less energy, and no longer in the honeymoon period!! Then the advice about DTD every other day just makes you feel like you aren't trying hard enough!

How does your DH feel about becoming a father at 45? Mine is worried he's too old already.

@Cleo, I know they say LP should be at least 10 days, but I am pretty sure a frer would pick up a pregnancy at 9 days, so maybe 9 days is just about okay x

@Lexilooo
We sleep in separate rooms most of the time as I have a sleep disorder and DH job involves long driving distances daily (field based job) and he has to be well rested - so every other day is never going to work for us! We have to plan around our sleep. Twice a week is usually our max and this is usually weekends which doesn't always fall at the right time.

He is terrified tbh as am I - we will be having NIPT so until we know there are no issues and we pass the 12 week milestone I think he is finding it hard to get his head around. He is worried about being too old and tired but I know he isn't (he will turn 46 before due date). But equally if this doesn't stick then we need to think hard about if and how long we try again for. I suspect only another year and then we admit defeat.

I wish I had met him when we were younger but can't change that.

Anyway - good luck and remember that we didn't follow the guidance and we have managed to get this far.

Rose - I've heard 9 days is not long enough and I suspect that is why I had the chemical in October. It's so frustrating that nothing seems to work to help lengthen it at all

@Cleo it’s really surprising and disappointing that your clinic weren’t even interested in talking to you about this. How did you get on with your complaint?

Thanks everyone for your very kind words and support, the waiting game is a killer. Just had my second NIPT today, not really sure what for, just hoping that by some miracle it may come back with a different result. Have regular 12 week NHS scan appointment next Wednesday anyway, so will see what happens there.
For those having/thinking of having NIPT's please have a read of this. I have of course been doing a lot of research since my high risk result and I think that the clinics who perform these tests could do with being a bit more transparent about results.
qz.com/646436/prenatal-testing-is-about-to-make-being-pregnant-a-lot-more-stressful/

@SparrowSG
Sorry you are going through this - my GP made me aware of the NIPT accuracy issues for the different trisomys when I saw her at 4 weeks (and the other things you can test for if you have a risk of genetic issues). I'll still be going ahead though - I can imagine it is very difficult when you have a high risk result.

A colleague of mine had a high risk result with NIPT a couple of years ago (not for Downs but can't remember which), but CVS came back fine so she was lucky I guess, false positive better than a false negative in her case. I'm not particularly afraid of the invasive testing myself so wouldn't hesitate to have have CVS or amnio if needed. But obviously hope the NIPT avoids this.

Yep same here. I would move to cvs before worrying as there is a high false positive rate however if it is negative then I know everything is fine

You are very lucky to have a knowledgeable GP @megan2018 . At the first clinic where I had the Harmony test, when she gave me the results, she basically said it was '92% accurate', which I now know is completely untrue. And then where I just went today for the SAFE test, the nurse (it was at a hospital but still paid for), she didn't even explain to me what they would be testing for!! Apart from a few health questions, she didn't really give me any information! I am in shock and disappointment really at the lack of correct information -or any information.

@SparrowSG
Yes my GP was only a few weeks back from mat leave when I saw her and although in her late 30's rather than post 40 she also had NIPT herself so was well informed which was helpful.