Over 40 ttc- lots of baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

hmmm123: 41 (42 in spring!) 1 dc ttc #2 6 months ish
Rose68: 43, 2 DS 9 and 6, 1mmc, ttc #3
chatbash72: 46, 2ds 21,19,17,8,5
2 mmc(9wks,6wks) 2cp ttc 2.5 yrs
Russkispy: 42 (43 this April). 1 DD. TTC#2. 1mmc. 2 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF, no frosties
Minime2017: 41 ttc#1, 1cp, 1mc, ttc 2.5 yrs
Karryk: 41, 1cp, 2mmc (5.5wks, 8wks), 1dd (17 mths old), ttc#2, 1mc (6.5wks)
Realitysucks:40 (41 in 17 days) ttc#2, 1mc (5.5wks), 1DS (16), TTC cycle 5
KateyA: 40, ttc#1 (1 frosty), cycle
Karigan195 41 1DS 1mc April 2018. Pregnant 5+4 today 3.1,19
Littlemimosa age 42, 2DC 5&7, ttc too long!
Cleozeta, 41, 2dc, ttc #3 for nearly 2 years. 1 mmc at 10 wks, 1 cp
Onemorego2019 - age 40, DS 15, DD 10 & DS 3 ttc#4 Dec 2018
ZoeRoma, 41, 1st month TTC#2, DS aged 4 months
Crittertamer: Turned 41 last week! No DC, currently (as of 3.1.19) 15+5 pregnant with twins following second IVF cycle.,
Gizmojo: 44, DS (18 months), 1 mmc, ttc#2 4 months
Letsdothis43: 43 TTC#1 ttc for 2 years first IVF cycle in January/2019
Booseysmom: 46. 47 in Feb. 1 DS 5. Ttc #2 3 years
SparrowSG: 44 in April, 1 DS 2 from IVF 2016. 1 ectopic 2014. Currently BFP @ almost 8wks
Olivia12: 43. 44 in September, 1 DD 10yo, ttc #2 with DP, 1 month
Floofsquidge: 40. No DC, currently 20 +5 pg as at 9th Jan.
Taxgirl: 43 (44 in April). 1 DS (March 2017) ttc #2 for 1 year - 3 mc and 1 mmc

[BooseysMom]

Checking in, thanks Orchid.

@Rose68 , sorry to hear you had a BFN

@Ellie2015 welcome and lots of luck & baby dust x

AF was on Xmas Day (yep thanks AF!) and I'm on CD17 and feel different to usual at this point in my cycle. I have swollen tingly boobs, alot of mucus and feel nauseous. I do tend to get this around ovulation and the mucus never seems to change much right from ovulation to AF so pinpointing ovulation is impossible. This time i feel so weird..I just wonder... but I'm terrified as I'm nearly 47 and shouldn't be on here as after 3 years of ttc I'm about to give up

[hmmm123]

Don't give up booseys

I know 2 people who had babies at 47 naturally

Just have fun trying and if it happens it happens

I think putting deadlines on ourselves stresses us out. I was adamant if I wasn't pregnant by Xmas I would stop now I've extended to my birthday but I will probably extend that too!

[minime2017]

Thanks Orchid for new thread. Checking in on CD1... again. IF conceiving ever happens for me I'll never believe it as my pre af symptoms are changing and are annoyingly similar to those many ladies have before their bfps. And in another delightful development, it seems my LP is creeping back from 13 /14 days to 11. Such fun!

[CritterTamer]

@Realitysucks - I will try to answer your questions:

1. FET = frozen embryo transfer. If you have any good enough quality 'spare' embryos left over from your fresh cycle your clinic will freeze them. These can then be thawed out at a later date and transferred without having to go through the trauma of a fresh cycle (injecting stims, etc.). There is a risk involved in The freeze/thaw process, but there is some evidence that FET success rates are slightly higher than fresh cycles because your body has time to recover from the crazy hormone levels that the IVF stims have produced, and this thought to make the uterus more receptive to implantation. Its about weighing up the risk of destroying the embryos against the slightly better chance of success and isn't usually recommended to freeze all and go for FET if you only have a small number, or poor quality embryos.

1. You clinic will advise you on what day the transfer will happen. If you have less than 3 fertilised and developing embryos on day 2 after EC, most clinics will advise a 2 or 3 day transfer, same for poor quality embryos - they do better in utero so put them back earlier rather than risk them all not making it to day 5. Day 5 transfer is the best case scenario as success rates are higher (due to the fact that many embryos will stop developing between day 2 and day 5 and the clinic won't be able to know which in advance).

1. Gradings are complicated. The most commonly used system in the UK is one where the first number refers to the stage of development of the embryo. A 5 is hatching out of its shell, a 4 is a fully expanded but not yet hatching blastocyst, and a 3 is an expanding morula. The two letters then refer to the (visual) quality of the two parts of the embryo. The first letter refers to the quality of the part that will become the baby, A being top quality. The second letters refers to the rest of the embryo, that will become the placenta and again A is the best quality. I don't think they will generally bother with anything graded lower than C as the likelihood it will go on developing properly is tiny. When you do yor cycle they Wil show you pictures of the various stages and qualities so this will all make more sense then. It's important to remember that these gradings are based purely on how good an embryo looks, which does not in the least guarantee genetic normality.

Sorry for the long post - I hope its answered all your questions! 😊

[KahFen]

Checking back in, thanks @Orchid222 I am (for list) 44 (45 next week! Sh*ttt!! Walnut o'clock!!) Have a DS age 15 as single mum, ttc first child with belatedly found love of life. TTC 7 months so far.

I know what you mean @hmmm123 - I feel more than a bit down about my 45th birthday coming next week. I so hoped I would be pregnant by then. Well ... I just have to keep reminding myself that it is not like I am going to wake up next week and my ovaries suddenly check the date out and shrink and wrinkle. Still ... am contemplating a coffee and walnut cake for my birthday!! Only I and you ladies will know the joke lol!

Please don't give up @booseysmum Let's not give up until the fat lady has well and truly sung herself hoarse. We are always in with a chance until a year has passed with no AF. We are not there yet. I am sorry your AF came on xmas day. That must have been rough. Maybe this month will be a better one.

Sorry for your AF time @Rose68. Sending big hugs and bunches of flowers (still haven't worked out how to do the pictures ... must be my age!)

Welcome @Ellie2015 You are in good hands here .... this is a safe place. Baby dust to you.

I haven't had anything tested and said I wouldn't until I hit 6 months of ttc. Now am at 7 ... and scared. Last time I went to GP when I came off pill she was super nasty and made me cry she was so negative and horrible. Has anyone had positive experiences with GP and asking for ttc support of any kind? Am trying to decide whether or not to go. DH has offered to come with me bless his heart but still very worried. But am getting more worried that there may be more wrong than just my age and maybe I am wasting very precious time trying if there is something that needs to be 'fixed' first. Advice would be really welcome.

I didn't get the job I went for. Feeling really sad about that. It would be easier if I didn't feel like I was 'failing' on the ttc front too. Feel like I am letting my DH down a lot at the moment. I know that's not true but sometimes you really feel it you know?

@mellongoose it is good to hear from you. I am glad that you went back to see your girl. I am so sorry for your loss. I think best to let all the feelings pass through you like big waves ... and not worry about what they are or what you 'should' or 'should not' be feeling. Given what has happened you are allowed to feel any way that you do, all the ways that you do. When the feelings settle a bit then a future path will become a bit clearer. Sending huge hugs and strength your way.

[KahFen]

oops ... I wasn't age 15 when I had DS ... I was 30! DS is 15 years old and it happened by mistake (oh the irony now!) when I was with a guy I had only been seeing for 4 months. We tried to make it work but it didn't and he left when DS was 2. Has been just me and DS ever since until I met my man. I had given up ever meeting anyone but not quite ... not quite. Dreams can come true. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

[Taxgirl1]

You’re so brave @mellon. Stay strong. I'm thinking of you lots at the moment xx

[BooseysMom]

@hmmm123...2 natural at 47?!!
Thank you for the confidence boost I needed xx

@KahFen..thank you for the lovely msg. It certainly was a bitch having AF over Xmas!
Sorry you're feeling low and that you didn't get the job. You're not failing though. DH will understand. My DH even knows what AF means now bless him! He's got a way to go though.
Re. GPs when I tentatively told a lady GP we were sort of ttc, I was fully expecting the shock reaction and "don't get your hopes up" but was amazed when she said Go for it! There's no excuse for the kind of reaction you got though. The GP I saw must be in the minority.
A GP should offer you tests etc. Maybe get another appointment and take DH along. Wishing you lots of luck & success xx

[Taxgirl1]

@cleo just wanted to say try not to stress about your AMH. I'm trying not to but failing! I read something that suggested that these tests are more important for ivf but if you are ttc naturally then they matter less because it's more about quality rather than quantity and the tests can't tell you that...and it only takes that one golden egg!

[Realitysucks]

@CrtterTamer omg thank you ! I finally understand you explained it so well!!! Thank you for taking the time to explain.

Interestingly my sister is currently pregnant on second round of ivf with a FET baby is due end of this month. Unfortunately she is not particularly supportive. She is 5 years younger than me, despite being the one to tell me to get my AMH checked, now I have, she seems to be saying to our mum I’m only doing it because she has 🙄 that’s all I’ve really had from her so don’t really feel like I can ask her this stuff.

Do you mind me asking how old you were when you has your eggs collection and how many did you get? I’ll be 41 by the time I get there as Birthday next week. I know everyone is different and there is no way to tell how many I may get, also clinic are saying I am unlikely to get any to freeze given my age and AMH level. I have also read something about time lapse camera is better than taking them out everyday to check. I asked the clinic about this and they seemed to brush me off a bit saying they didn’t have that facility 🤷‍♀️

As we are going with ICSI they are fertilising the eggs for us. I did challenge this at the TIA as DH has supersperm but they just said it was their recommendation to give me the best chance of implantation. I’m not really sure how that collerates together but it is what it is.

[Chatbash72]

@BooseysMom don't give up.. @KahFen said it's not over till we have been AF free for a year.. I've not put a time limit on it.. dh and I are just enjoying ourselves.. which I think takes a little pressure off.. my gp advice was just relax.. and I think that she's right..
thank you @hmmm123 I needed that.. @KahFen I had a total meltdown about my 45 birthday.. as I hoped that I would have been pregnant by then, but it's taken just under a year to finally get myself back on track and very more chilled out.. you ladies have helped with that process..
@mellongoose sending lots of love take it gently xxx

[Chatbash72]

No idea why that's all come up in bold

[Dickybow321]

Hi guys, do you remember me? My name has been taken off the list because it's been that long! 41 and ttc no 3. I haven't been on in a while because there was nothing to report really, AF coming as clockwork every 27 days. Well AF was due yesterday and after a BFN using FMU this morning on a super-cheap kit (Ease and Treat or something) I've just had a BFP this evening using a Tesco kit! Fingers crossed 😬
I'm going to read the thread now to catch up.

[hmmm123]

Congrats Dickybow that is great news! Gives us all hope too. How long were you trying and did you do anything different this cycle? x

[Dickybow321]

Thanks hmmm123. I first bought opks in April last year and started learning about my cycle, so this is our 9th month trying. I turned 41 in September. Ive had about 6 months of ubiquinol, so I wonder if it has helped? At one point I was using maca, L-Arginine and all sorts. Then I had a horrendously heavy period that sent me to A+E and I figured out it was due to the L-Arginine so I quickly got rid of that. I had cut down to just ubiquinol, folic acid and a multivitamin recently. Then this month I started using a vitamin D spray because I had read something about it. So to answer your question, this cycle the only different thing was the vitamin D spray and we had sex four days in a row up until the day of ovulation, some days more than once. Looking at my App most months we hadn't had a great deal of sex, one month it was just the once! So this month we made a concerted effort to do it loads.

[Whatcanihave]

Hi. Have been stalking this thread (no other word for it) since first introducing myself start of December. Bfn yesterday at 10dpo after first af since mc late November 😕. Feeling quite tearful atm. Stopped taking citalopram when I fell pregnant last September/October and now wondering if it was a good idea. Always feel depressed in January and accentuated since 2013 when Dad’s birthday 8th Jan and the day he passed 15th Jan are playing on my mind. Hoped for bfp today against all odds so now feel quite shit.
Now

[Whatcanihave]

.... going to try and work out how to add myself to stats list....

[CritterTamer]

@Realitysucks - glad it all made sense! It's a shame your sister is so unsupportive - as she has had sucess you'd think she would be encouraging and helpful.
We had two fresh IVF rounds in 2018 - I was aged 40 at time of EC both times. First round in June wasn't fantastic. We had 6 eggs collected from 8 follicles and all 6 fertilised (without ICSI) with 4 making it to day 5 blast stage. Only 2 of the 4 were good enough quality to use so these were transferred and nothing to freeze. My lining only made if to 9.3mm that cycle, which is OK but certainly not optimal. BFN result.

We then had to wait 3 months before we could try again so I used that time to really focus on egg quality - did a lot of fertility yoga and acupuncture, took ubiquinol and vitamin D spray, focused ondiet and exercise, particularly upping protein intake, and reducing my sky high stress levels using meditation. I also used testosterone gel for a month before my cycle started (I believe that this has to be prescribed by your consultant as its pretty potent).
Second cycle was very different - 12 eggs from 12 follicles, 11 fertilised (again without ICSI), and 7 made it to day 5 blast stage. Two were perfect 5AA quality so these were transferred, and 2 more were good quality so were frozen at day 6. The other 3 weren't good enough quality to freeze. My lining made it to a really good 12mm on that cycle, plus I'd had an endometrial scratch before starting.

With regards to the embryoscope - yes I believe it is preferable to use one rather than removing to embryos from the incubator every day for checking. Many clinics offer this at an extra cost but mine does it as standard and we have an amazing video of our two transferred blasts developing between fertilisation and hatching on day 5.


Re. the ICSI - I assume the clinic is charging you extra for this? (At mine it was an additional £700). My clinic did offer it but made it clear that its main use is for make factor infertility issues. My DH's sperm came back all in normal range but certainly not 'super sperm' and they suggested trying a round without it as if was unlikely to help. As we had 100% fertilisation rate on that round this confirmed that ICSI was definitely not needed. I have heard that very occasionally even normal healthy sperm will display an incompatibility with the eggs and just not fertilise them, in which case ICSI will be needed even though the sperm are normal, but this is rare, and wouldn't be discovered until after a cycle had been tried anyway. In your case it does sound like your clinic are just trying to get more money out of you by selling an add-on without any evidence that it's necessary.

I can't remember what you said your AMH was sorry, but mine was 10.4 if that helps. AMH in conjunction with your antrical follicle count (you should have had a scan to determine this) is a predictor of the number of follicles and eggs you are likely to produce under ovarian stimulation, and will tell them what dose to prescribe. Generally the lower your AMH the fewer eggs they will get, although as my cycles proved other things can affect this too. AMH doesn't really predict egg quality, so even a very small number of eggs collected can lead to a positive outcome and this is where age is important - a 35 year old with low ovarian reserve/AMH will have a better chance of success than a 42 year old with normal AMH and good reserve for her age due to the better egg quality. There is also an assumption that the more eggs you have left in reserve, the more likely it is that there will be at least a few 'good' ones!

Sorry for yet another long post - hope it's answered all your questions 😊

@Dickiebow321 - congratulations! Ther has been a lot of good news on this thread over the past few months.

@Mellongoose - sending big hugs your way. You are being so strong and thinking of trying again is so brave 💕

@Whatcanihave - welcome back to the thread 😊

Everybody else - have a lovely day! Xxx

[Chatbash72]

@Dickybow321 congratulations xxx you haven't been taken off the list, we started a new one because we had so many new ladies x
@Whatcanihave copy and paste the list then add your name to it.. welcome and sending big hugs, it's a crappy month anyway post Christmas and long working month financially but then throw in emotional reminders and it worsens.. xxxx
@Realitysucks sorry your sister is being unsupportive.. my mum is all over my sisters baby and shows no interest is my kids.. like she is a first time grandmother and has never done anything for mine.. it hurts like hell... counselling is helping my emotional stress... sending loads of love..
I will say that my sis in law in her 30's struggled for 2 years to conceive had her tubes flushed and boom... Greig Wallaces' wife had been trying for over 2 years and they are in 30's.. but have had success.. and then we have success stories on here... prof winston ( who I think is fab ) says that he over 49's thing is rubbish and fertility industry needs to update its thinking.. generations ago women in their 40's fell pregnant because they had no birth control and were still having sex... with no supplements or vitamins..
let's not loose hope.... while af still comes !!! We are still in the game xxx

[Chatbash72]

Over 40's not over 49's.. 😱🤣🤣

[Alibaba2]

Which vit D spray do you all use?

[Chatbash72]

From Holland and Barrett was about £6.99 but could have been on offer.. has a blue label on it

[Chatbash72]

Better you Dlux 1000 vit d oral spray £6.95 x

[hmmm123]

I'm using Holland and Barrett vitamin d3 spray 50 ml one spray a day with a yellow label

Hope that's ok and havent got the wrong one!

[Realitysucks]

@CritterTamer @Chatbash thanks guys x

It is a real shame the situation with my sister. As much as I love her I certainly don’t understand her sometimes. They were trying for two years then started down the ivf route in January last year. She had been asking me if we were trying and I had said we had only just started. I had no idea till she rang me in September to tell me I might see her on tv, turns out they were filmed by the bbc throughout the ivf process. Me and DH had only been trying for a month when she dropped the bombshell that she was 5 months pregnant and the programme was being aired in two days ! Oh and by the way she says get your AMH checked as likely you’re gonna hit early menopause! Now I feel like I’m in a constant battle when she asks me as each time she’s like oh yeah thats the same time we started or your a month behind me a year ago! When I saw her at Xmas and she asked about it and I just lied and said oh we’ve put it on hold and are just gonna see what happens 😬

I’m really starting to worry about the clinic! I’ve had three appointments with them and every time feel like I’m challenging them and they know better. As a lawyer my job is to question particularly when so much money is involved! DH is far too trusting and just tells me to chill as the doctors know best. Problem is I’m a clinical malpractice lawyer for the other side, which means I see the other side of the coin!

My AMH was 4, I haven’t had the scan and have asked them twice about this each time them saying it’s done as part of your cycle. Do they do it before or after you take the stims? I’m not sure if the scan is part of what they do on the 23 jan. they say I’m having a saline infusion trans scan and scratch but not Sure if this checks your follicles as it will be day 20 of my pre treatment cycle so after I’ve ovulated.

As for the ICSI the Doctor got quite funny when I said we didn’t need it due to DH sperm count. It was like over 200 million with an 80% survival and normality and 15 on the chart, at the time they said they never see 15 in clinic most guys have between 8 and 13! As we are funding through Access Fertility they said that unless we go with their recommendation the funding won’t apply and we would have to pay the full rate. By going with acces we save about 4K on a multicycle programme. Yes it’s another 1k for ICSI I do feel like they are selling a product!