ttc after MC July 2007 - anybody out there?

[popsy76]

Hi ladies, our old thread is full and now I can't find anyone
I have posted here and on bereavement thread with same title - come join me if you find this

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I had a missed MC discovered on 27th June, then had an ERPC on 2nd July. I did a pg test this morning (8 days later) to check that my hormone levels were back to zero but still got a BFP. Feeling very disheartened. Is this normal? How long does it take for hormones to go back down to zero and when should I start worrrying that I might need another ERPC? Any advice? I know that my doctor will tell me to wait until I have had one AF before TTC again but it seems so wrong to use contraception when I just want to be pg again as soon as possible! Help

Hello Aude75 ? welcome sorry about your loss you?ll find everyone really helpful and considerate here and it is a great place to heal. I?m just visiting as I am pregnant again after my MC in March but I intend to lurk until all my buddies are able to join me on the other side of the fence

I personally had a complete miscarriage at 10 weeks so didn?t need an ERPC but I know that lots of ladies on here have had them. I know that I still got BFPs until about 3 weeks after the bleeding stopped. I think HCG has a half life of 36 hours or something and by 10 weeks, the levels are in the 1000s. How far along were you? It does seem to make a difference to the speed of recovery. I do feel for you, it is a horrible thing to have to do a test and to want it to be negative for all the wrong reasons . My advice would be to try a week from today and then a week later if it?s still BFP. Keep a close eye on yourself for changes in CM or your temp and see the GP immediately if you suspect anything to avoid an infection. I am afraid, it is a waiting game, and it took me 8 weeks to get my AF after my MC. I was lucky enough to get my cycle back after that and fall pregnant that cycle but be prepared for a few odd cycles before things settle down.

Also worth you knowing that although you can still get a BFP, if you have 40-50mg of HCG in your body, you can also ovulate again with those levels so it is possible to fall again whilst still getting positives!

The others can guide you on trying again after an ERPC, for me, I was able to start again as soon as the bleeding stopped but both physically and emotionally, I am glad that it took two cycles because I wouldn?t have coped with it as well before that.

All the best

HI Aude75, I miscarried 18th June and then completed my miscarriage by 26th June. I was not told about my hcg levels staying and i did not learn this until i found this site. I did not do a test until last friday and it came back negative so i knew my levels were definately back to normal. I started trying again straight away and i am hoping that i am already pregnant but not going to test until i have any symptoms. I have not waited for AF. I have heard from a lot of people that the best time to get pregnant again is straight after a m/c because you are so fertile then. Good luck

Hey Adue75 - I was told to wait til first cycle over with to avoid infection etc I think, which I did. After that was cool to go ahead

Thanks guys, it is so good to be able to talk about this with you all and I appreciate all the advice. Emotionally I feel like I am coping well and feel totally ready to start trying again. I hope it's not just a phase. My missed MC was discovered during a private scan when I should have been 9 weeks and 3 days. Private scan person thought she could see something of a size of about 6 weeks and no H/B. Had another scan the following day at the hospital and there they couldn't see anything at all apart from empty sac, so I assumed it had started being absorbed back into my system? Not entirely sure. I found the fact that I never saw anything even ressembling a baby quite a good thing, personally and found it easier to accept it. Plus I had decided to do a private scan before my NHS planned 12-week scan as I had a strange feeling that something wasn't quite right (although couldn't put my finger on it) and didn't feel very strong PG symtoms (had been really tired for a while then not anymore) so I had a suspicion that something was wrong. Are you all being offered earlier scans than 12 weeks on the NHS after a M/C? x

Yep - I'll get a scan at 7 weeks next time

Aude75 ? I?m so sorry about your sad story, that must have been a massive disappointment as you were pretty early, hopefully things will get back to normal pretty quickly This time around, I have had 2 early scans ? the first one was very early at just under 6 weeks to determine that the sac was in the right place so I could start meds that I need. The second at 8 weeks was to confirm viability by seeing the heartbeat My dating scan is on 20/7 when I?ll be 14+3 but I am paying for a private nuchal this Thurs (at 13+2) as we don?t get a nuchal here. Hoping and praying that all will be as it should be

Aude75- sorry to hear about your loss. I felt compelled to write. I had MC at 10 + 3 end March. (Have been checking mumsnet every now and again since then- feel particularly attached to the girls on this thread as they helped me so much when I mc'd). I have to say when it happened to me I/we wanted to get pg straight away. I am so glad now that I didn't. It has taken 2 cycles and am now 6 wks pg again. I know that I wanted to get pg straight away to replace the one I had lost, but it doesn't work like that. We had to properly grieve that one first. When I got bfp for this pregnancy our pleasure was so muted as we were both so scared about going through it all again. I worry constantly that it will happen again but definitely feel stronger a couple of months on and I also realise there is nothing I can do either way. But everyone is different, and you might have already come to terms with it, but it can feel like another loss if you try straight away convinced it will happen again and then it doesn't.
I still have few pg symptoms, so am not confident about this one either. Have resisted working out due dates etc and am just taking one day at a time. I am going to try to plead for early scan when I see GP next week.
I am rooting for everyone else who is trying- I know everyone will get there eventually. (I don't feel brave enough to go over to the other thread yet so hope you don't mind me posting here!)

Aude: just wanted to say I feel EXACTLY as victoriagirl. Found out I was pg again last wed (3rd cycle post m/c at 12 wks) and been having light spotting ever since. So been really worried and terrified that I won't be able to hold on to this one too. I also have resisted working out edd etc with this one and am just measuring the pregnancy by hours, not even days/weeks. With the 1st m/c, I didn't get a chance to do any scan at all, so haven't got a clue what happened but suspected baby died about 8-9wks. I'm determined to be more pro-active with this one.

I hope you'll feel better soon Aude. I truly feel for you having been there myself. Take care and big hugs to you. x

MrsMcJnr, so exciting about your dating scan on 20/07, I'll be thinking of you. Victoriagirl, great news for you too! It's brilliant to hear about you guys who have had M/Cs and now have new pregnancies to get excited about, certainly gives me a lot of hope and I am sure you will be fine this time round. I'll let you know how I get on too. Ax

Thank you Myfirstbaby, congratulations to you too!! I am sure you will be fine this time, keeping fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you. Big hugs. Ax

thank you aude . x

Hi again all (its wheely with harry potter name )!

Kensgirl - I really don't think there is anything you can do to get your head into a good place. I found myself there quite by accident and suspect I'm not 100% there yet but AF DID arrive this morning and I'm ok, disappointed and upset but not desperate. Its a grief really (I know you've been/going through it with your Dad too) and its a cliche but time is a great healer. I'm just coming up to a year since my m/c so the end of this month will be a bit hard I think - its my birthday on saturday and I threw up with m/s for the first time on my birthday ! But am going to remain positive - CD21 will at least be a monday so I can get my blood test done, DH can get his sperm test done and then we're all set to get referred when we feel the need (probably in Sept after our hols although I want have acupuncture and get fit when dd starts nursery in Sept so am only going to ask for referal in Sept if its going to take a while IYSWIM).

Aude - sorry you're here, I can't offer any advice re hormone levels as I had a complete miscarriage, no ERPC. I tested negative about 2 weeks after bleeding started (I didn't test before then though).

MrsMc - glad to hear things are going well for you this time and will be thinking of you having your scan.

victoriagirl and my1stbaby - hang in there.

Lovin' the name weasley!

THanks Ellie - it actually took me ages to think of it (Durrrrrr).

Hi girls
busy work day here which is great - I keep stopping and asking what is the matter and then think "I haven't thought about MC or TTC or PG for at least an hour" - these are my new POSITIVE thoughts
Audilady I had ERPC and was still PG for ages i.e. big belly, morning sickness and boobs - I still remember waking up in the morning about 6 weeks later and they had completely deflated .
It has taken me AGEs to even get to this point and I think everyone is different but I am a changed person now I am sure. You will find that you get to your deepest darkest depths on some days and then on others you are smiling and alomst back to normal again. This is the rollarcoaster of MC - I am so sorry you are here but hey you have all of us along for the ride .
BIG HUGS to lovley weasleynotronbug - I forgot to call about my bloods oops - can feel an obsessive internet health check coming on (usually ends with me diagnosing some deadly disease so not really very clever idea )
Hello mothershipgraduates Nice to have you back - isn't it fab that we have people of all levels on here now - feels like is meant to be - we have experience of PG/MC/TTC in all shapes and sizes - so much great advice and support. Maybe I'll write my article after all - people love all that peer-assisted learning type stuff hmmm

Aude75 - I just wanted to leave a message for you. I often browse these pages and rarely leave a message (mainly because I feel like a bit of a newbie imposing!) but I just wanted to say that the same thing happened to me in May. I had a scan at 12 weeks but the baby had died at 7 weeks but I still had to have a D&C. MC is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with and it is horrible but I felt the same as you in that I just wanted to start trying straight away. I think that whatever is right for you is the right thing to do. The nurse at the hospital told me that the only reason they tell you to wait for 1 cycle is so that they can date the pregnancy. Unforunatley I got ill with one thing after another and have only just got back to normal so we are trying to ttc like demons now!!!! I hope everyone's words of wisdom here have been some comfort to you. I had no idea MCs were so common and it was reassuring to hear that the majority of women go on to have normal pregnancies after a MC. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you have good news soon.

Just one other thing - many people on MN talk about reflexology and I have been 3 times since. I really believe it helps to get your body back to normal and it really helped me to relax. A bit of pampering really helped me when I was so down and sad.

xxx

Thanks so much Lorla, all the messages are indeed of great comfort, I am so pleased I did decide to start posting on this thread, it's brilliant to meet you all and I don't feel alone in this anymore. I feel fine now but things will probably get a bit trickier as my best mate (who also works with me) is also pg and was only 8 days behind me. She is not showing yet but I know it will be a constant reminder of my loss when she starts. At the moment I feel like I still want to know everything she is going through and I have my fingers crossed that everything is well for her at her 13-week scan on 1st August. It's been even harder for me because she had some bleeding around 6 weeks and was then fine (had an early scan which confirmed baby was fine), whereas everything seemed normal for me but no H/B at scan. All this is probably another reason why I want to be PG again asap.

Hi all friend just dropped by my office and I knew immediately she was PG - 13 weeks!
so pleased for her - she had 2 MCs before this one
but very sad for me
you all know what I mean - that is why I can only tell you (and DH tonight)p.s. the fact lorla and Aude I had scan at 13 weeks to find dead fetus (10 weeks) so had ERPC. Lots of others on here had the same and most of us got on with ttc straight away (you just want to be back where you were). My pesky body is still playing me up but others have been lucky and got PG straight away. Hope you are the lucky ones - Good luck!!!

oops must have started writing p.s. and lots my thread am officially doolally

Good luck to you too Popsy, was that M/C a while ago? Did you have any inclination at all that something was wrong before your 13-week scan? I hope so as the shock would be even greater. I read on another website about someone who went to their 12-week scan to be told no H/B and they knew nothing about missed miscarriages, didn't even know they existed. At least I am pleased that I knew it could happen before it happened to me. Small consolation, but still... Good luck to all of us!!

So many newbies. I am sad that you have to be here (in the nicest way!)

I am an oldie having been here since the end of March.

AF was due today but no sign. And no pg symptoms. I am worried I am suffering what so many fellow mothershippers suffer: ludicriously long cycles

My main problem with not being pregnant is not having anything to do/plan/prepare for...

I had NO IDEA about missed miscarriage when I had DD. I just thought that no bleeding meant the baby was safe. Oh the innocent old days!

ps Hey Popsy - where are you in your cycle? Or dont you know owing to your bizarre mid cycle bleeds???

Hi everyone, me again. I've just downloaded TCOYF software, put all my history into it, and started temping! Makes me feel as though I'm taking some concrete action as I know precious little about my cycles etc (on pill for 14 years, PG with DS 2nd cycle after stopping, then 3rd cycle after birth PG again) - but does this way madness lie?!
Also, can I ask - has anyone else got NO sex drive WHATSOEVER?! Makes ttc a bit difficult.... am I alone? DH wants it to be spontaneous! (got PG with DS & before MC without really "trying", but it's been 5 cycles this time) I know it will come back, but just wondered if others feel the same...

I also had never heard of MMC till I had mine.

Hello all and especially Lorla - please NEVER feel you are 'imposing' this thread belongs to you as much as everyone else and is really good for support so always post whenever you want to x
Hey Popsy, glad you are feeling positive. Am with you on wanting my body just to sort itself out and stop buggering about - no AF yet though am spotty and bloated so I know is coming. Wish would just hurry up.

Also - for the record - I had no indication that anything wrong in PG til scan at 12 weeks which showed baby had died at 8 weeks. Didn't really know about MMC either, so bit of a shock
But am getting on with things now - still have sad thoughts but generally feeling much more positive