ttc after MC July 2007 - anybody out there?

[popsy76]

Hi ladies, our old thread is full and now I can't find anyone
I have posted here and on bereavement thread with same title - come join me if you find this

Hi Wheely welcome back! Sounds like you have got your head straight! I was told to go and have bloods at CD12 - is that wrong or for something different?

Hi Popsy - CD12 ? Don't know that one ?

I have had them on days 2-5 (just one test but you can have it on any of these days) which tests LH and FSH to check the follicles are being produced and then on CD 21 which measures progesterone which shows whether you have actually ovulated.

Oh Torres, I just don?t know what to say, I hope someone with some knowledge on this comes to your aid very soon x I have just remembered a book that a lovely Mumsnetter sent me, it was all about Chinese medicine and how it can help fertility, I read it and found some of it really interesting though quite intense, if you are interested, I?d happily send it on to you.

Gilly - so glad the counseling has helped hon, I didn?t realise quite how bad you were feeling

Popsy ? hope you enjoy your lovely weekend of doing exactly what you want. I read all that you said and can totally understand it all, I hope the sun shines on you soon, you so deserve it x

Hello Wheely holiday sounds fab!

Hello to everyone else x

bugger - maybe I'll ring the docs to check is right? Been out for a walk along the river, met friends and ended up in the pub and am a litle squiffy now oops .

p.s. mrsMc thanks for the message - you have kept me going! Can't wait til I am on your thread....uh oh - scrap that - note to self...I must not make new unobtainable mile stones that I cannot know if I'll keep and and )

Still managed not to do a test!!! so far so good.

flosspot holding in there, hope you are too.

Thanks Mrsmcjnr Fingers still crossed!

gillydafodil, I found that the impact of the MC hit me about four months later, again. We started TTC then again and all the memories came back full force! I don't know if it was the four month thing or just the TTC, but it certainly seems to come round again, when you think you have dealt with it.

Hey all and welcome Lorla - always nice to have new people on the thread, though in the nicest possible way, hope you're not here too long x

Sorry you've had a rough time with your GP Torres - the whole MC thing has really made me realise how utterly CRAP the bedside manner of some gp's is - I am lucky with my usual one, but had to go and see another cos mine was away after the MC and ended up leaving in floods after he had medicalised me beyond endurance. Silly man.

Gilly - what you said in your post really struck me. I was lucky in that I already had a counselor I felt comfortable with who I could go and see after the MC, but I didn't go and see her for a while, and then when I did it was like all my defenses were down, and I almost had permission to grieve and feel as bad as a did. Straight after the MC I rushed back to work and was the life and soul of the party as I was terrified people would see me struggling as a weakness - I have a tendency to be a bit of a control freak and to be very hard on me, so I did everything 100%. It was only when I went to see my counselor, and cried and cried, and told her how hollow I was feeling that she told me to take some time off and grieve properly. Even now, 4 months on, I still cry bitterly every time my AF comes as it seems to bring everything back, and I have sad days. I just feel that I am accepting this as part of the normal process of loss and grief, and that all the anger/fear/jealousy/confusion/sadness is simply part of that, and not a reason to beat myself up.
God I have gone on a bit haven't I? Had a weird ol' day today - suddenly thought that I would be 7 months gone now if hadn't lost baby and very stupidly shoved a pillow up dress and stood in front of mirror looking at how would look and feeling sorry for self (am I sounding more mad than usual? ) til DP walked in and gently told me that doing that 'probably won't help'.
Think am bit PMT-ish - know not PG this month as feel AF coming on, but trying to chill about it.

Hi All
had a crap start to the week. DH too tired for BDing last night - is amazing how it can throw me off - feel like a chance wasted - hmmm think need to stop this ttc and just get back to our normal sex life as this is ruining it!
Sun is shining and have had a lovley latte so there are two nice things PMA!!!!Hey ElliG I have often been thinking about what I would be like now but have to keep teelling myself off cos only makes me sad.
DH came back from his friends sons first birthday - he sdaid it was pretty depressing (I sometimes forget how this affects him too).
Note to self - stop being so self centered

Welcome LorLa- so sorry you are here, but we're all nice and everyone is a mine of information.

My1st- thinking of you

Angua- still holding on- 14 post ov (insane amounts of ewcm) and wondering how much longer I can wait. Cycles usually 40 plus days....HELP!!!!!

Popsy- sorry you aren't feeling grand, but the sun is shining and we are here for you.

Everyone else- hope things are OK. Hope you are all well, and keeping everything crossed for us all. Hoping the susnshine will bing good luck!!!

flosspot Very impressed you are holding on. I am 6/7 days post OV, on CD27 but expecting a cycle of around 35 days.

How long are you going to try and hold out for?

I just know it would be a BFN now, whatever the situation, but just want some kind of answer!

Hi Ladies,
I was one of the 2004 TTC, i now call that the dark year. (MC at 9wks) Now i have 2 DD 18mons and 7mons. I think Mumsnet TTC boards kept me sane when we were TTC cause it was over a year later before i got PG. Keep the faith girls it will happen..

Thanks Minnie. I'm in need of some inspiration. All my excitement was in vain - the whiskery old aunt turned up yesterday, eight days later than she came last month. Old bag.

And I bumped into a pregnant cousin of DP's in B&Q. I knew she was pg, but she didn't know I knew, and I didn't mention it, and came over all peculiar and had to run off to a different aisle with an excuse about wire brushes.

Interesting points about counsellors and 'control' issues. That's what mine's been talking about recently - all this MC business brings it home to us how little control we have over our lives. I'd kind of accepted that, and that having a baby or not was all down to fate, but after five MCs it feels like fate is doing an enormous dump on my head and having a good laugh about it.

Morning all.
It was lovely to see the sun shine again, however it did seem to bring out every pregnant lady on the south coast!.
Even my dh said in his usual sensitive way, "can you believe how many pregnant women there are out today"? My lack of response didnt seem to make an impression on him..
I agree that having an ercp messes with your body. I have so far concieved while on the pill & two weeks after having my coil removed. I am not saying this to gloat it is more to illustrate the difference. I had mc in March. Still not even a sniff of a bfp.

X post Herb. Sorry about af, she is a b*h isnt she.

Hi All, CD27 out of a CD28 cycle normally. Dont feel pg, know I am not pg but still holding out last desperate hope. Pathetic really.

EllieG I did something similar last week. I got really bad bloating at work and had a 6 month pg size belly. Sat rubbing my tum saying "Ah, I wish it was my baby." Had a laugh over my lunancy with my best-workmate.

Popsy I know what you mean. I feel so happy for all the grads but I have been here since March and as much as this is a lovely thread I want to move on. C'mon body do your work.

Well I am walking into town at lunchtime where there will be loads of pg women rubbing their bumps. Grrrr.

Popsy ? you?ll graduate hon and I?ll be here for you until you do

Angua I?m impressed ? still crossing for you!

EllieG ? I can totally understand all that you wrote. I think the biggest mistake a lot of us make is to try and get on with life too soon and we don?t let ourselves grieve and one of the hardest things is that all you have to grieve over are your emotions and thoughts and your shattered dreams, not a body or a stone or something physical. It is so hard. Though I am pregnant again and thanking every lucky star that things seem to be going ok, I still have awful days where I miss my lost baby, I haven?t forgotten that I?d be 28 weeks now and I sorely regret that I didn?t know about my condition then and can?t help but think that if I did, I could have saved her. Then I feel guilty for that because I don?t ?talk? half as much to this baby as I did to her, I don?t think as far ahead and I try not to dream about the future. I hope that one day, when I am holding this baby safe and sound, I can make peace in my heart and tell myself that my lost baby had to sacrifice her life for this one to live and that I should be thankful and grateful not sad and remorseful. Sorry, a bit heavy but it really helped me to say that. Hang in there hon x

Flosspot ? sounding good hon dare I ask if you intend to test? I got my BFP this time on 14dpo.

MINNIE1 ? lovely message congratulations on your DDs

Herby ? sorry about AF hon

Ronshar ? hang in there hon.

Winky ? You?ll be moving on too hon

My1stbaby ? thinking of you hon x

wow youve been chatty. not been on the ttc boards much the last week or so, havent been able to face any bfps (no offence intended) still back on with a vengance. dh has his pornpot test today and im fertile next weekend (we will be ds-free coz of a wedding) so off we go again. have missed you all x

Hi all. Hope everyone had a good relaxing and fruitful weekend

Well, it seems that I've managed to hold on to the little beanie over the w/end . But I'm still spotting every single time I go to the toilet. I've been unconsciously willing myself to wee less. Silly really as it'll probably give me horrible UTI.

Anyway, just came back from GP, who basically says nothing anyone can do at this early stage. I have another app. in 10 days time and if I'm still pg and if I'm still bleeding, she'll refer me for early scan. So I guess it's a case of sitting tight and wait . Got really upset and had a good cry. Feel a bit better now. Perhaps all is not lost yet.

I know what you mean mrsmc, with this ltlle beanie, I've not allowed myself to think of the future at all. Just one day at time I keep telling myself. I wish I can let go a bit and enjoy the fact that I'm pg again. But with so much uncertainty, I just find it terribly hard to let myself go.

Lissie ? here?s to next weekend

My1stbaby ? that?s good news hang in there. As you say, just take each day as it comes and be really kind to yourself. It sounds harsh but you have to trust your body at this stage. Everything crossed for you x

Hi everyone, just wanted to say I'm still here , cd28 today and did a test, BFN of course as don't think BD'd at right time. Does anyone know how Prozac can affect TTC? It's making me feel so much better but....

Don't think prozac affects at all. Better not am on tons of the stuff.

MrsMC - thank you for nice words. You are a wise lady and am keeping all my limbs crossed for your little beanie x

HAng on in there my1st- keeping it all crossed for you

MrsMcJ- holding out as long as I can. Mum staying at the mo and when she's not got me out doing things she's looking over my shoulder, so will have to do it on the quiet!!!

Angua- still holding out. Keep strong!

Just saying hello to everyone.

Nice to see you Mrsms, glad everything is looking good for you, give us all faith that we will join you on the pregnanacy threads one day .

Hi there Wheelybug! Its good to see you back,but a shame its not on the antental threads, hopefully soon though, eh?

Hope the rest of you are Ok, it sounds as though there are some tough times out there. I wish I could just wave a magic wand for all of us stuck on here...

At teh moment I am trying very hard to put my head into that good place, and put all my negative thoughts and grief into a litle box, that I.m not going to open again. Until next time af arrives.

Love to you all, hang in there xx

Hey all - stupidly tested this morning - another BFN. Have now made up mind that am NOT testing until AF is actually properly late as am turning into a loon.

ZamMummy ? no idea about the Protzac but lady, it?s not over until the fat lady comes to stay hang in there.

EllieG ? you are sweet to me I like your testing philosophy, honestly, I hardly ever tested when I was TTC, AF was too damn regular so there was no point made up for it when I got BFP though, couldn?t stop checking just in case it then!

Flosspot ? well in our Mums? day, you weren?t pregnant until you had missed 2 AFs, just think, you?d be at week 10 before you knew it! As long as you behave as if you are, what harm can holding out do?

Kensgirl ? hey you you?ll be joining me hon