ttc after MC July 2007 - anybody out there?

[popsy76]

Hi ladies, our old thread is full and now I can't find anyone
I have posted here and on bereavement thread with same title - come join me if you find this

lissie i was told to early to see anything on scan as am only on cd27. said i could get gp to request 6wks scan. so might do that if i can hold on to the beanie until monday.

thank you for your support. hope i'm not upsetting you as i know i cried my heart out each time i read about a m/c on MN after my 1st m/c. take care x

Hey my1st - am sorry you are feeling so worried. Hope it is all OK for you xxx

Went to GP yesterday and she said my weirdly short and getting shorter periods aren't anything to worry about and they'll sort themselves out. Got another BFN this morning, was very stupid to test so early. Don't know why I keep doing it to myself.

X-posts there my1st - please don't worry about upsetting anyone else, you are not x Everyone ishere for you when you need it x

Keeping everything crossed for you my1st.

Hello everyone else- big weekend coming as friend with baby (!) arrive tonight on their way home to Germany, mum arrives at stupid-o'clock tomorrow to Gatwick and haven't seen DH for days as he is working on a 'big trial'. Sobbed my heart out at puppy training last night...all because the lady asked me how my week had been. Tragic. Feeling very wobbly today but too much to do and not enough time.

On the plus side, there's no time to test!!! Stay with my angua...

Hi all, Hope no-one thinks me insensitive for posting on her but I just wanted to pop in with a message for my1st - bleeding and cramps are not always bad news and I am keeping everything crossed for you that beanie is fine. I had dark bleeding at 5 weeks and then awful cramps for 4-5 days afterwards, I was convinced I was m/cing but tadpole was fine and am now 15 weeks. A friend of mine had exactly the same and she is now 30 weeks. Don't give up yet hun xxx
I have been keeping up with how everyone is doing but don't like to post too often but someone (was it you Popsy?) said about needing to get your head in the right place and your body will follow? I think that is true as once I seemed to have my head in a good place my nasty, erratic, anovulatory cycles disappeared and my body gave me a nice normal one to enable me to conceive again. Once I felt more myself again I also realised that I however much I wanted it before, I had been in no mental position to cope with being pg. Hopefully you will all be joining the pg after m/c thread soon (the support there has been as invaluble as it was here).
Lastly - congrats to Gillydaff on your Masters - Distinction! Hopefully you will get a fantastic Graduation pressie.

Hey Popsy- you take care and listen more to the body and less to the mind photos?

Hoping for you too Angua

Hi Gilly drove past your rock on my way to Zahara and thought of you All sounds very busy with you! Would love to meet up when you head this way ? what fun! CAT me your plans and we?ll organise something Congratulations on your Masters that is incredible, I?m very impressed; I hope you feel very, very proud of yourself! I?m sure your little angel is too .

My1stbaby ? think it is totally possible to get BFP before implantation process has finished, 14dpo is still early, we can?t tell when the conception actually took place after Ov, could have been a few days so perfectly reasonable that your beanie is still bedding down hang in there. Hope the blood and cramps calm down and that Monday goes well. It is so hard when someone else seems to be in a better position especially in relation to pregnancy. When I lost my baby in March, 9 of my friends were pregnant and the only thing that got me through was telling myself that it was my baby I wanted not their?s and therefore there was no comparison. I hope that helps Just a thing. Might be better to wait until Monday for a scan anyway in the hope that whatever is going on has settled down. There is such a thing as a scan too soon and rather than give you hope, it makes you worry even more.

Hey Herby sounding good, all things crossed!

Hello Lissie, how are you keeping hon? You ok?

Hello Jules ? you ok?

Hang in there Flosspot, huge hugs for you too.

did my ritual post mc/af HPT today and for one terrifying moment i thought it was going to be a bfp. never thought i d be relieved to see a bfn!

Hi everyone god - there is so much going on!
Went to see the doc today and he has refered me for scan and blood tests. Didn't even have to cry but snuck a look at his screen and saw Mental health problems in big yellow letters on one of the entries from when big pops died last year so maybe it helped me in the end and
Hi myfirst grrrrrr for you but also am feeling very hopeful after the great advice from beckle (lush to hear from you and you are 15 weeks god doesn't time fly????)
mrsmc scan photos?? How far along are you now? It seems like an age ago!
I am busy doing job related thinking which has really helped. DH and I had to give up on BD this morning as it was like trapping it in a shed door (his words not mine) - yup we are only doing it every other day and it feels like a CHORE ha ha
Off home early to catch him before he heads up to the inlaws (his suggestion he has now taken control of the BD-ing and wants to make a good job of it - I think he'll be more disappointed than me when it doesn't work )
Hi lissie good news for the BFN ha ha - we are all just totally screwed aren't we
Hi herby, ellie, littlebit, nh, flossy your dog training sotry made me laugh - the number of unsuspecting people I have howled on - they look mortified - there are women out there who get thru this without telling anyone and and
Off to have friday feeling coffee and muffin
Have a good weekend ladies - I am home alone so spending some me time in bed with cat and good book BLISSSSSSS

sorry should have explained better, when i had my ep in jan/feb i tested after the bleeding had stopped and still got a BFP which meant that i hadnt mc'd but baby was ectopic.

glad you are being referred popsy x

oh god bloody hell sorry I was so insensitive - me and my big mouth!

It?s a weird and horrible moment getting that result Lissie. Take care hon.

Popsy ? hope the scan and tests get you further along hon. Oh those photos if all goes well on Thurs, I?ll upload the pic together with the gummy bear one for 8 weeks, being superstitious I?m 12+3 today.

hello beckle thank you so much for your message. i am so hoping it's implantation bleeding as mrsmc suggested. i did a boots HPT test at lunch time, BFP even though the line is still faint. feel a bit relieved but now wondering if my HCG level is too low to sustain a viable pregnancy. i know i'm driving myself mad worrying about everything. sigh...

mrsmc monday is just app. with GP not scan. hoping to persuade her to refer me for a scan. i know she won't do it as too early but if i manage to hold on for another 2 weeks, maybe can get a scan at 6wks. you are right sometimes it's better not to know.

popsy well done on getting the referral. hopefully it'll give you a better idea on what's going on.

hope everyone will have a great w/end. i heard weather will improve .

hang in there myfirstbaby - we are all rooting for you x

my1stbaby- have everything crossed for you and sending you big hugs.

Not having a good day, have not been able to stop crying since wednesdays scan. Having been told ' you won't get pg with a womb that thin', I've not been able to speak to anyone to actually get info on what if anything can be done. My GP has gone on hols and I've finally just spoken to another GP in the practice who was crap. @sounds like its due to agressive ERPC', yeah, figured that... 'well, might be able to imp[rove it with another op, might not'!!! thanks very much! I've made an appointment with my GP but thats 2 weeks away, and I really don't know how I'm going to get through those 2 weeks. I feel so scared.

Christ, these doctors have no idea of bedside manner.

Don't panic! I'm sure the womb lining builds itself back up over time. An ERPC can't actually remove anything permanent, so it's probably just a case of, again, waiting...

Maybe it's an excuse to eat a huge steak.

dont be silly popsy, just realised how odd the bfn post had sounded.

torres, sorry you're having such a rough time. fecking doctors, why cant they show a bit of compassion? is it really that hard?!

thanks lissie and herby

My experiences this year and reading all the posts on this thread have given me a very poor view of alot of the medical profession. I recall both of you have had crap doctors. I know they are busy, but aren't they meant to care? I had actually managed not to sound hysterical and was hoping for some facts on what to expect, not a flippant reply as if I'd asked him what I should have for dinner. Grrr

I just keep imagining they have scraped away so much of my womb it won't grow back.

I have to admit, my fears are partly based on an interview in a magazine with Sinitta (!) who was left with a thin lining following an op to remove fibroids and now she can't have kids.

I know, I know! TTC removes all rational thoughts.

thanks mrsmc and torres

just want to post quick msg to torres: have you tried acupuncture? it's just that i've come across an article that says it can help in thickening womb lining after D&C/ERPC. if i remember correctly it's a combination of acupuncture and traditional herbal medicines. i've been trying to hunt the article down for you buy no joy so far. i will let you know if i come across it again. so sorry for your experience though. take care x

What a horrible doctor Torres, I think some of them forget what a big deal things are to each individual and treat us like we are on a production line, makes me very when they have no compassion or tact! I know 2 weeks is an age away at the moment but hopefully your own GP will be much more understanding and helpful to you. In the mean time, have a hug or 3 x

Hi ladies sat on the sofa with a whole wekend to myself - now I love DH very vey much but it is blissful having some time to do exactly what I want. Spent all morning in bed reading and am now esconsed in front of TV gorging on wimbledon (a secret passion of mine).There is no one doing DIY and I couldn't give a rats arse that the house needs a clean and .

I'm glad to have a bit of time to let all the postings sink in as lots of very true and meaningful things have been said (pats on the back all round ).

I have also had counselling and Gillys list made a lot of sense to me. From what I can gather, many of us are on here BECAUSE of our personalities - we like to be in control and are struggling with MC so much because we have no control appart from the few things we can do to help our body (food/drink/exercise etc).

My biggest problem has been mental (don't all laugh ). I have probably been building up to a big freak out for a few years but it is the MC that was the straw that broke the camels back. Even when we first ttc I was very OCD about it all - I knew when to BD and how and what to do to check. I KNEW I was PG immediately. Now I have friends who have been blissfully ignorant for months! These people have gone ahead and had healthy, stress free PGs. I know that you can't blame MC on stress exactly but I have had a hard time coming to the conclusion that even if I hadn't MC I would have had a very stressful PG and life afterwards because I was outthinking absolutely everything.

I have been here on MN for nearly 4 months now - and thrived on being able to talk to you about how mad I am going inside my head while everyone else gets on with their life. It has got harder in some ways as the regulars have got PG and moved on - while I have felt stuck and frustrated at myself and my body for not getting PG as soon as they have (yes I have logged on each time wondering who is going to fall next - so happy for them because i know them so well, happy for me because there is PG after MC but also gutted that I am still here and going quietly insane).

Amazingly I am starting to feel better,I have started questionning the other parts of my life that I CAN control i.e. my job - this has given me something to focus on and it means I can do something constructive about de-stressing now (will help ttc) and about making sure my future is less stressful too.

One thing I have thought about is why do I always make these changes for someone else - surely I deserve a nice stress free life - and that has nothing to do with my role as a wife/colleague/friend/sister/daughter/eventual mum? It is going to be a an uphill struggle and I am really confused even trying to think about what makes me happy in life but I have a feeling that this is a really important turning point for me? Is it possible for me to let go of things I like doing and allow for the fact that life doesn't have to be a struggle? Or that success can come in many different disguises?

Ellie I was really concerned about ERPC too - particularly as they use horrid instruments to get through your cervix and then hoover out your womb - I know bodies and which ever way I considered it - it just didn't sound good.

If you read back over our postings loads of us have had weird periods and physical symptoms after MC (whether surgical or not). I wonder if anyone has realy looked into what happens - I know ttc-ers would really benefit from knowing what was going on. I have a feeling the doctors are in the dark as much as we are and . I like the sound of acupuncture - i was just looking onto reflexology - maybe I am just desperate for anything to help me chill out (rather than really do something about it arghhh)

Anyway - I think you are all amazing women and I have certainly learnt a huge amount from this experience - especially about how cruel life can be but also about my tendancy to want to control everything in life.

Actually another thought...even when counsellors and family/friends and we tell ourselves we think too much and want to control too much - we should give ourselves a break because whatever they say it is a total BITCH having an MC!

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend

Wise words as ever Ladies! You are a fab bunch.

Torres just wanted to mention that my MIL told me about a family friend who has had problems having a baby. She has been diagnosed with a thin womb lining and is about to start treatment so she can carry a baby to full term. Not sure what the treatment involves as my MIL is a simple soul (she actually said "carry a baby full-time"!!!)

Love to you all for this sunny weekend.

Hey winky I hears about that too -a friend had laser treatment to try to stimulate the womb to regenerate itself - I think it is quite common? Hope you are okay Torres
How are you winky? You're ttc again this month aren't you? My cycles have been so weird they could either be 43 days long or 20 days long depending on whether my mid cycle bleeding is AF or not.Doc said PG symptoms last month could have been a very early MC but I just reckon its all bollocks. Trying to do it every other day this month so catch those pesky eggs whenever they decide to show themselves. If nothing then hopefully the tests will show that up (grasping at straws emoticon).
Just watching Bartoli get her ass whupped by Venus...like watching my cat with moth

Can I join in on the ttc rollercoaster chat. I am ttc after mc in May and am getting frustrated .

I am peeing on sticks but each month have not seemed to be able to detect ov.......worried I am not ov-ing any more but I know this can not be. Getting so frustrated......gggggrrrrrrr

Hi All

Just thought I'd pop in and say hello - I have been off MN for a while as I dropped my laptop and have been waiting for a very inefficient insurance company to replace it which they finally have.

Hello to anyone who is still left on here who remembers me (Popsy, Herby, Torres, Lisie, Gilly, Kensgirl) - sorry you're all still here and sorry new people have joined !

Congrats on your distinction Gilly and on the new job !! Fab ! Congrats on the BFP Jules - good luck.

Sorry to hear about your mc Lissie - you really are going through it. I can't decide which is worse - getting pg easily and losing or struggling to get pg. I guess at the end of the day there is no worse or better, it all sucks big time.

NO news here, am awaiting the arrival of AF in the next couple of days and am fairly certain of its arrival. At the end of July it will a year since my m/c. I never thought I'd still be here trying after 2 easy conceptions (1 m/c). However, in the last month I have been feeling very different mentally I think - more accepting the situation adn trying to get on with things a bit more. I don't feel like its the end of the world when I hear someone else is pg (which is a good job really considering how everyone I know has been or is since I m/c !). Mind you, the test will be whether I lose it when AF arrives. We have splashed out on a relaxing holiday for the end of August which I hope will do us lots of good. We're also nearing the point we can be referred for specialist help ( I have had 1 set of blood tests which came back all clear, but I need to get another set done just to check consistency but on my first CD21 dd had chicken pox so I couldn't get out and the next month it was on a sunday).

Hugs all round and enjoy this splash of sunshine whilst it lasts !