ttc after MC July 2007 - anybody out there?

[popsy76]

Hi ladies, our old thread is full and now I can't find anyone
I have posted here and on bereavement thread with same title - come join me if you find this

I do normally LadyLush ? I?ve been doing it for 8 years, get to meet lots of interesting people and go to fun places. I guess I?m a person who gives 100% to something and at the moment, that?s the pregnancy. Dangerous as that is, I can?t help it. I see you and a few others were getting a bit heated on the alcohol thread it?s a good thing the abstainers haven?t popped over to the New Year thread or we?d get a lecture!

LouiseX ? sorry to hear about your loss I hope you fall again soon. How well do you know your cycle? Do you know how to predict fertile days and how many there are its? Reason I ask is because before you use the Ovulation kits, you might want to get up to speed on all that plus, it can take a while after a MC for things to get back to normal. I started charting temps, CM etc last August probably. After a couple of cycles, when I thought I knew what was happening, I tried the kits (OPKs). To be blunt, in my experience sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn?t and when they didn?t that really stressed me out and no doubt delayed ovulation. In my opinion, it?s better to use them to back up what you have already deduced is happening from your body?s signs rather than rely on them to tell you when to go for it. Also, it is possible to get false positives (because you can get LH surges that come to nothing) or negatives (can?t remember why that is ). My advice ? go for it every 2-3 days throughout your cycle if you can regardless of what else you do, you can always add in extras to that (for example ? air bicycle afterwards ? felt damned silly but it might just have been the thing that worked!) best of luck. Here to help any time

There's an alcohol thread? Where? Must go and lurk ;-)

Hello Louise! I don't know how well ovulation tests work straight after mc. I know my temperature, CM, spotting, EVERYTHING was unpredictable for the first month so I'd imagine OV tests would be less reliable than usual because hormones are all over the place but I could be wrong. The other problem is you might have to use them every day for weeks as some people ovulate a week after mc and others have to wait 6 weeks or more so it could be a long expensive haul! I reckon you should BD every two days just to be sure until your first AF and then start using them once you at least know what cycle day you're on (not that cycles are predictable afterwards either...)

torres - glad you had a good birthday. See you in Homerton EPAU very soon wearing our T shirts and listening to happy fetal heartbeats

Speaking of heartbeats, my ultrasound people seemed about 50/50 that I'd miscarried when they didn't get a heartbeat at 7 weeks and a week later said we should definitely have one by now (and the baby hadn't grown which was a bit of a clue) so I don't know if different places use different equipment. I had to have that huge white dildo thing stuck up me to get a picture that early on so maybe it's better at hearing heartbeats too?

Hello to everyone - I'm sure I meant to respond to lots of other messages but there are so many these days I'm losing track. Which keeps this a busy friendly place to come and hide in

Hi Mrsmcjnr, way back down the thread I was asking about Foresight. Well, have now decided not to bother unless I have a 4th mc (which, of course, is NOT going to happen), although if I it does I will also throwing myself on the mercy of God, Allah, Buddha and whoever else feels like helping.

Best of luck with the pregnancy - I may well check in when I have fully gathered up the strength for ttc, but need a month at least off to recoup my energy and get over idiot GP's "assistance". Here's hoping the chromosomal tests don't find anything frightening...

take care, all!

Siameez - Check the list of threads in the last hour, you?ll see it there! Also, I think there is a big difference in times of timeframes in terms of seeing the heartbeat on the ultrasound, externally or internally carried out and actually being able to hear it. Something like 10 weeks difference is what I thought.

Downbutnotout PMA sounds like a good way to go hon! Thanks for the good vibes for me hope you feel much stronger soon x

Hi all - this thread is getting massive, it's hard to keep up!
Here in Zambia my lovely Swedish ob/gyn did scans at 8wks as a matter of course (that's how I found out about my MMC ) but she said only the vaginal ones (ie with the huge dildo thingy) work that early and even then it's not always possible to pick up a heartbeat, especially if your dates are a bit vague. She said so much depends on the skill of the person doing the scan and on how good the machine is (which here = not very). She did one for a friend of mine and suspected MMC, but referred her to hospital in Jo'burg for confirmation before EPRC - she's now 7mo PG with twins.....

zammummy, mrsmc & siameez- thanks for the heart beat comments. Mrsmc- I realised after i posted the message that saying the GP was going to try with his 'special thing' sounded well dodgy, but thought if I tried to rectify the situation it would make it worse!! To be honest- I am somewhat sceptical too the more I think about it. I am fairly confident he wasn't planning to use the big dildo thing to hear it as it would be in an anti-natal clinic appt at the surgery. I am not sure what he was going to use- he just gestured vaguely towards his desk, which was covered in stuff. But I don't see how he could hear a heart beat as it must still be the size of an apple pip or something (am avoiding reading the books this time until I have got further than last time). And I probably will worry if I don't hear anything. So think I probably won't bother. Got scan date through- not given an early scan, but think I might be able to wait (its in about 4 weeks). I am not overly anxious about it at the moment. I am still feeling nauseous which I never did last time (I know that still doesn't mean I shouldn't worry, but I am trying to be more chilled)so at least it feels different to last time. But still just taking one day at a time.

Well, af arrived yesterday. I was already pretty much resigned to it so I wasn't too upset. I can't believe it's been 5 months and nothing. I think it's worse that there's nothing obviously wrong with me. I have regular cycles and I'm sure I OV as the doctors did a day 21 progesterone test for me and confirmed ovulation. Also I have plenty of ewcm and from charting before and after m/c I know I have a 14-15 day luteal phase. And my doctor tells me that the fact that I've already managed to get pregnant once is a good sign that nothing is wrong. So, why did I get pregnant at the second month of trying last time and now it's been 5 months (and I'm sure we BD'd at the right time every month). I'm sick of reading about how I'm supposedly more fertile in the months after a m/c. At the moment I am feeling so defeatist - why would this month be the one, when the last 5 have all failed?

Anyway rant over (sorry).

I've decided to continue my break from temping, but I am going back to the OPKs as I got a reliable result with it the one month I did try it. I've bought some cheapo OPKs from ebay, I hope there as good as the clearblue ones.

LouiseX - sorry to hear about your m/c. I was desparate to get pregnant straight after m/c, so I started trying immediately (I didn't wait the month I was told to wait). However looking back I probably should've waited. My temps were really erratic and also it took me nearly 5 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test (I had high HCG as it was a twin pregnancy). OPKs also detect HCG so don't use them unless you are sure all the HCG has gone first. I probably didn't OV the first month as I think residual HCG probably inhibits ovulation. Maybe wait until your first af and then start charting again. I know how you feel though. I am so impatient about it. Far worse than when I was ttc before m/c.

Sorry Jess Next month hopefully

Mrs McJ - glad you enjoy your job. I like my work but not my job. The drinking thread was balmy eh. I get a bit feisty when those sanctimonious judgemental threads kick off

Hi everyone else.

Zammummy ? I always comfort in the fact that they give the baby every chance before they make a call for an ERPC.

Victoriagirl I shouldn?t be so smutty!! Sorry! 4 weeks isn?t too far away for the scan hon, we?ll get you through! Take it easy hon

Oh Jess sorry hon. The thing is that this cycle may well be the one . The pregnancy I lost took 8 cycles and then this one took 2 ? I think it?s just someone up there?s way of reminding us that we are not the ones in control. Good luck the OPKs.

Ladylush ? I think getting feisty is probably good for you right now ? anger is all part of the process and a necessary outlet, I?m a big scaredy though so hopefully you?ll not direct it at me!

I did a test about a week after completed m/c and that was negative so i guessed that my hcg levels must have been back to normal. I was not tested for my hcg levels so i would not have known. I have also been sick the past couple of nights???

Can't blame my situation Mrs McJ - I'm feisty anyway! It's the Irish roots - boite lads boite

LouiseX ? don?t know if being sick is any way related but I hope you feel better!

LadyLush one of those hey!? I guess my Celtic-ness comes out sometimes too

Ladies I?ll be AWOL for a few days, wedding tomorrow and Sat ? just in case you miss me!

Ladies - I'm back
Well for me now, the dream is over again. Despite all the sickness and two early scans with heartbeats...
On Monday, at 10 weeks, while on holiday in France, I had some very light spotting and I was, understandably, jittery, I had a scan done the next day in a French hospital.

They found no heartbeat and bean had not grown in a week

We came home earlier and we are still waiting for things "to happen". I feel like I am walking towards a cliff but don't know when I will fall off

To make things even worse, the French hospital was the exact same one I had been in with my m/c in March. Then it was a school trip and this time, we had gone there for the weekend from our main holiday site to visit friends. What are the chances???? To find yourself in the same bed, in the same hospital 1000 miles from home???? It feels like some cruel joke

Basil- oh no, oh god I am so so sorry for you, I really am. Am thinking of you xxx

Oh Basil, I'm so sorry. That's horrid and sad for you. Thinking of you and your DP x

So sorry Basil, that is so sad was it your second miscarriage?

My best friend had a scan today and was told she was having a miscarriage, I am so, so gutted for her too. She should have been 11w2d but the scan showed the baby died at 8w. So gutting

oh shit basil, im so so so sorry. how utterly cruel and heartbreaking. i wish i could say something to help but just know that i'm here for you if you want to talk/rant/etc.

everyone: hi, been avoiding ttc boards this month, had a bit of a delayed reaction to the last mc so not really caught up. needless to say i'm now in my 2ww but see the specialist on the 30th to start clomid, bit freaked out by it tbh and cant ever imagine having another baby. that dec deadline is looming and dont think i could cope with another mc still, time will tell. hope youre all ok

Devastated for you Basil- know what it's like to have that happen so far away from home- was in France when had my mc earlier this summer. Thinking of you.

MrsMcJ- are you at a wedding in Shrewsbury this weekend?!!!

Oh no Basil . I'm just stunned. To have happened twice, at the same foreign locale?!? Did you/are you going to have any investigations done? I know there is not much I can say to bring you any comfort, but I'll send you a big virtual hug. You know that we are all here for you.

Basil I am so so sorry

Thinking of you too Lissie. Best of luck with clomid. December is still a long way away!

So sorry basil . Hope you are ok.

So so sorry Basil , don't know what to say, but my heart goes out to you xx

Hi girls - thanks so much for your kind words. It is indeed shite luck. GP said no specialist would see me as I've "only" had two recurrent and DS's existence proves DH and I are "genetically compatible". He is a bit of a wanker. Doctor not DH!

However, the stats he gave me did cheer me up, chance of 2 m/c in row is 1 in 25 and chance of 3 is 1 in 400

Bugger is I still haven't started bleeding properly yet, just sporadic spotting and so still feel physically and emotionally in limbo. I don't feel I'm able to grieve properly yet as bean is still inside me, even though he's dead

Have appt at EPU tomorrow. Worried they're going to insist on D+C and would rather not

lissie what I've been through is peanuts compared to you, I am so sorry for your most recent loss and I'm wishing all the luck in the world

Been lurking for a while as felt my grip on reality leaving me AGAIN!
Basilbrush. I am crying for you. I cant say more than that!

Had a big fight with DH and he informed me he didnt want any more kids unless they were boys. We have 2dds. He loves them dearly just wants a boy. I had to restain myself from shouting it is his recessive genes not my fault. Didnt think that was going to help. We are kind of skirting round the issue as it will break my heart not to have more children. I dont want for him to put his foot down (like Homer Simpson). Not that he looks like Homer I have to say very quickly!