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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

961 replies

Frazzlerock · 03/12/2018 09:41

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

OP posts:
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TwittleBee · 05/01/2019 04:33

Yeah in a lot of pain, not sure what's up. Think it might be hand, foot and mouth but it feels like it's affecting my whole body

What's up with not sleeping well? Any idea?

Kinsters · 05/01/2019 04:38

Oh that sounds rubbish. Has your DS been ill as well?

I think it's just jetlag for me tbh. I take sleeping pills for three nights after we get back and then they stop working so the few days after that are always tough.

edidxb · 05/01/2019 05:30

Oh that's rubbish @Twittlebee I'm sorry it's negative. I was really rooting for you.

I'm still not sleeping well but hoping work next next week and being back in a proper routing will help me.

I'm on CD30 here and not pregnant and don't think I have ovulated either. Negative OPK again this morning, but still got ewcm so hopefully in the next few days and then at least I can get a period and move on!

Frazzlerock · 05/01/2019 07:02

@TwittleBee I think you're still in with a big chance though? Do you think it's just too early if you are less DPO than you originally thought. Though I've no idea about the positive tests you did 
How is your temp this morning?

Sorry you're not feeling well. That really sucks on top of everything.

@Kinsters I don't know about your chart. It's so hard to tell without more temps. I saw that article on FB but it was a screenshot of the headline (helpful...) and I never actually googled it to find the article so thank you, I will have a read of it.

@edidxb you could still be gearing up for ov. If FF is to be believed, I ov'd on CD32. Or CD34 if I go with Ovu so it can take time.

I have put a spanner in the works with DP 😓 Last night we were in bed and I was performing my usual 'let's get on it' hints.id also loaded up the pre-seed just in case I am still in ovulation window.
He said "no sexy things tonight as I've not showered after runnng"
I was fine. But I opened up my ovu app to check if TTC wise we'd be okay with it being two days in a row of no BD. But DP saw it and said "oh you're in The Zone are you...". Then got upset that this is too much pressure and this is how his friend and his wife split up etc...
and now I feel shit because as much as I desperately want another baby our sex life is about us first and babies second. I genuinely have a high sex drive and would do it all day everyday with him if I could!
But he thinks it is just about baby making. In the past he's told me I treat him like a sperm donor and I have been so scared that he'd feel the same this time.
This one blip could make him pull the plug on this and I've been so careful not to put pressure on him. But I looked at that stupid app which was bad timing, and now this has happened.

He gets depressed very very easily and experience has taught me that this could very easily push him away for a good few days, sometimes weeks.

I've been awake since 5am laying there worrying about it. I'm also really weepy and desperate to burst into tears but that will push him away further so I've been trying not to cry.

Reading back it seems so melodramatic but I genuinely thrive being close and intimate with him and I'm not very good at dealing with him pushing me away.

On top of that we had a day of First World Problems. First we had a water outage, then we had gas engineers at the door explaining about a gas leak outside our house, so we had no gas all day until about 8pm (it was freezing!) Then, when they finally turned our gas on and left, our bloody internet cut off! We are convinced they cut something while digging around under the pavement but we can't work out where it happened (there's still a gaping hole in pavement so can see pipes and wires.
So we have to do the Sky, BT, Gas company dance today 😓

And I stupidly thought, while lying there in bed this morning, that I'd come downstairs and watch the third series of Delicious on catch up but can't because no sodding Internet!!! 😡

MOAN
MOAN
MOAN

I have more gripes from yesterday but I don't want to push you lot away as well as DP! 😂

OP posts:
Frazzlerock · 05/01/2019 07:06

In positive news I have another high temp 🙌

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
OP posts:
princessbala · 05/01/2019 07:10

Hi, I was speaking to you @Frazzlerock a while ago, we had almost the same dates but I found out I had a mmc just before you did, I was wondering if I could join this thread? I'm really struggling xx

Frazzlerock · 05/01/2019 07:22

I remember your name @princessbala I'm so sorry you lost your little one as well. Of course you can join this group, you're very welcome x

OP posts:
Kinsters · 05/01/2019 08:09

You're not being melodramatic Frazzle it sounds like you've got loads to stress about atm. Does your DP know that you've ovulated already? I think he's being very unreasonable with his attitude - of course you want to know what's going on with your body! Just because sex is baby making sex doesn't mean that's the only reason you want to do it anyway.

princessbala welcome but sorry you're here as well.

Went out and bought some opks - totally negative. So frustrating! I wish I'd started temping straight away!

Kinsters · 05/01/2019 08:11

Your charts looking great btw frazzle!

BettySwoll0cks · 05/01/2019 08:36

Morning everyone. @TwittleBee really gutted to hear about your bfn this morning. As they say, it's not over til AF shows up though so will keep fx for you in the meantime. Hope you feel better soon Thanks

@Frazzle what a nightmare day yesterday! Some days, the hits just keep coming don't they. And on top of it all you're walking on eggshells with your DP Sad how does he feel generally about having another baby? Is he keen when you talk about it outside of the bedroom? My DH sometimes feels like he's being used as a bit of a stud too tbh, but he has been more sympathetic since the mc's because he can really see how much it means to me.

I'd like to start charting BBT again next cycle but I'm not sure it will work because I always get woken up multiple times a night by DH and DS. I laugh in the face of 4 hours unbroken sleep!! So what to do? I'm kicking myself I got a bellabeat health tracker last year, if I'd really thought about it I should have bought an ava instead 😠

BettySwoll0cks · 05/01/2019 08:42

@Rachyrach83 that's great you have a GP who is responsive. We often have locum GPS at my practice so I often end up repeating the story over and over which gets upsetting, and they all seem to have a different opinion about it. Plus I never really know what I'm asking for Confused. Next time I will ask for hcg testing though (never been offered that before) and in the meantime I'll push for a referral to the fertility clinic. She who shouts loudest, etc....

ratherbeshowjumping · 05/01/2019 08:54

@Rachyrach83 what a story!! How are you feeling now post meds? I suffer with anxiety too & was on antidepressants when I fell pregnant but came off them on drs recommendation as soon as I found out. I'm trying not to go back to them but it's so, so hard.

Thanks for the link @Kinsters that's really interesting. Nice to know the "blame" isn't solely on women....!

Big, big hugs @TwittleBee that's really shit. We are all here for you xxx

Oh @Frazzlerock what a day 😫 completely get lying in bed not wanting to cry, I've been there too. Our DHs sound quite similar - when they're not in the mood, they're not in the mood - and I know exactly how frustrating it feels to lie clock watching knowing you're not going to conceive because you haven't even tried. It doesn't sound melodramatic at all.

@BettySwoll0cks my dh has said exactly the same about feeling like a sperm donor sometimes. It's hard!

Well, hopefully this should cheer you up. So DHs football team won 7-0 last night watching them was probably why he didn't want to go in the hot tub so he was in a good mood... great 👍🏼
Anyway, all going well & we have pressure related performance issues again. He got upset, we had a chat and we decided to try the turkey baster method with some of the syringes we had from the pre-seed.
Cue me in my dressing gown searching for a suitable pot at midnight 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 whether it will work or not, I don't know, but at least we have some sort of chance of conceiving 🙈

Kinsters · 05/01/2019 08:54

Betty it's worth trying a cycle with temping and seeing if it works for you despite having broken sleep. Some people the lack of sleep will really affect their temperatures whereas others might still see a pattern (even if the chart isn't textbook).

ratherbeshowjumping · 05/01/2019 08:55

@princessbala I completely missed your post. I'm so sorry for your loss xx

TwittleBee · 05/01/2019 09:21

Thanks everyone. DH has now said maybe it was a CP and body has rejected it because I'm ill? Guess I'll just have to see, I'll test again when AF is due which would be next weekend (going by FF dates and previous Luteal Phase length)

Not melodramatic at all Frazzle I totally get it. Especially with the whole issue with the utilities on top of it all. Is your DP someone you're able to explain about how youre not even in The Zone or will that set him off?

edidxb can take weeks for ovulation post MC. I didn't ovulate till CD27 (12 days post when I usually Ov). Keep DTD and FX.

Glad you found us princessbala and welcome

Kin your temps are certainly still quite low so they must be pre-ov temps surely? There's enough there now that you'll notice a clear rise.

Haha Rather good luck! Hope that does work out!

Betty just give it a go and see how it works out. I got some pretty good temp patterns when DS was still regularly night waking at start of the year.

Rachy so great you have a GP taking your anxiety seriously and being supportive. I just feel left in the dark by all health professionals

smerlin · 05/01/2019 09:21

That's a nightmare rather but glad you made the most of a bad situation!

@princessbala welcome and sorry you are here. I think this group keeps us all sane though!

@TwittleBee so sorry. First cycle is a nightmare. I know it is 'safe' to start trying straight after mc but seems our bodies don't know what they are doing!

Wrt to the article about sperm and mc, has anyone read about risks of caffeine and mc? Seems like male consumption of caffeine is also a risk factor? No way will I convince DH to give up his coffee habit!

TwittleBee · 05/01/2019 09:23

Had Ewcm this morning and marking down yesterday's as that too now. Anyway, here's my chart. FF has now gone back to dotted cross hairs! Urgh!

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
Kinsters · 05/01/2019 09:39

Twittle yeah despite the nice looking rise I'm sure I've not ovulated. My usual temps post o are above 36.5. You're right I have enough that I should be able to see it when it eventually does happen.

Tbh I ignore CM if I'm sure I've ovulated. Could you have a fever that's causing the high temperatures? Cause your temps seem post o high.

smerlin I hadn't heard that about caffeine, interesting. I don't think my DH drinks much but I always leave for work before him so I really have no idea. Maybe I'll switch his weekend tea to decaf 😈

Rachyrach83 · 05/01/2019 10:02

Wow what a morning to catch up on.
@princessbala welcome! Hope you find some this some help!

@TwittleBee sorry it's not the results you wanted. I'm losing track with who is where in this process... you've had no AF yet right? Maybe your body needs a reset first.

@Frazzlerock my DH is the same. He's gone back to being quite unsupportive again. About time I 'stopped obsessing and letting it take over our lives'.
I'm not in a great place off meds but don't want to start anything if I'm TTC and mess up my body more than it already is. DH is really supposed to be on tablets too but he came off them and kids himself he's fine, he's not! But his cones out in temper and flying off the handle.... but mixed with mine being constant anxiety that's not a good combo. Went mad at me yesterday for getting another blood test saying its ridiculous and I'm just impatient... he doesn't seem to get that it was my 'impatience' that found something was wrong otherwise we would most likely have been at our 12 week scan just befor Xmas and finding out our baby had died 6 weeks earlier!

Those with messed up cycles.... AMEN to that!!
It's driving me (more) nuts!!
Another HIGH on CB monitor (no LH surge)
Another negative internet cheapie OPK

I chucked my old bbt away as my new one arrived... got my Celcius temp this morning and now found FF won't let me change my chart!! Have to set it at start of each cycle and then can't change!!
I've had to download Kindara and manually convert all my temps to C and will go back to FF next cycle. Here's how it looks this morning.

Re CM I swear Its like someone chucked sand on it, I've been dry since my AF/blood loss at Xmas!!

@ratherbeshowjumping the turkey baster made me laugh.... how could he 'self perform' tho?? My DH would not be up for that!! Hope you shot it up with some force to give them a head start!! 😂😂😂

Rachyrach83 · 05/01/2019 10:03

I discounted the stupidly low one... I didn’t like it 😂😂

The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten
princessbala · 05/01/2019 10:04

Thankyou everyone for welcoming me to your group, I definitely think it will help me as I'm still struggling to cope after the mc... I'm unable to ttc just yet as I've got to wait for some tests from the hospital... they think maybe March or April! It's such a long time to wait!

smerlin · 05/01/2019 10:13

Sorry messed up links

Both sides of the argument on caffeine

<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/caffeine-link-to-miscarriage/" target="_blank">https://www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/caffeine-link-to-miscarriage/

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/couples-pre-pregnancy-caffeine-consumption-linked-miscarriage-risk

<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/news/poll-reveals-confusion-about-caffeine-consumption-in-pregnancy" target="_blank">https://www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/news/poll-reveals-confusion-about-caffeine-consumption-in-pregnancy

Rose68 · 05/01/2019 10:17

Morning Ladies

@Twittlebee I’m so sorry it was a bfn, all the signs were so promising.

@Frazzle, it sounds like your dp is being a bit of an idiot. Has he said he is still up for this? If so why would he say that? I really have to try not to put my DH under pressure, but I still do with some things. Such as taking preconception vitamins. There is a big difference in me around ovulation, I am well up for dtd, the rest of the month I can take it or leave it. But that all means I can’t hide ov time from him, it’s well obvious! DH is well up for sex 99.9% of the time.

@smerlin I am aware that too much caffeine is bad for sperm, but no way can I ask DH to reduce his coffee intake, anyway I’m more struggling with his alcohol consumption.

@princessbala welcome to our thread. How many weeks were you when you mc?

@Rachy it sounds like your GP is lovely, I suffered with anxiety when my boys were little. My goodness it was hard work. I did not want anymore children! Fast forward 4 years and of course now I do and it’s probably too late. Re hcg testing, I asked at 5 weeks and was told a definite no.

I am 5dpo my spots seem to be getting better, no pmt yet, which is strange, but it can vary month to month. I’m trying to to read anything into that because I know the chances are so low.

Rose68 · 05/01/2019 10:25

@Ratherbeshowjumping, I have the same question as Rachy... re being able to self perform? I have never tried turkey basting.... I think it would be a big fat no from DH. Although I have wondered... if he was going to be away... if we could we pop some of his boys in the freezer... although I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that 😂